Chapter 7

It was the end of the school week. And I was sure glad. Ever since my breakdown, I was the silent girl. I decided it was better to not say a word.

I hadn't bumped into Nathan since either except for English class. And I changed my seat so I wouldn't feel awkward. That's what I thought was best. But the whole time he had been absent, a part of me wanted to take a chance with him.

But I wasn't the risk taker right now.

I entered school that morning with my hands woven around my torso. I looked at the floor and never took my eye off it for a second. I retrieved my books and walked to my homeroom. When I entered, I was one of the early arrivers.

There were two other students in the room when I came in. One was a book worm, Holly Thomas. And the other was the boy I couldn't afford to take a risk on. I knew no one else was going to arrive for another five minutes or so.

I could feel Nathan's fierce green orbs concentrating on my very presence. I tired not to glance back at him, but my eyes seemed to have a mind of their own. I tried to focus on the clock or the words on the chalkboard. But none of these things were the distraction I needed. Why did he have this affect on me? I told myself to forget about Nathan Scott over and over again.

But all I could see was his distinctive eyes in my thoughts. Every time they popped into my head I would try to shake them out, but nothing worked.

Finally a crowd of jocks and preps entered the classroom. A sigh of relief escaped my thin lips. I had to work harder at forgetting about him.

All throughout my morning lessons, I didn't speak a word. No one seemed to notice me when I did this. I decided that the bathroom had been occupied by me enough during lunch so I decided to return back to my outside dining spot.

When I arrived, I saw a figure sitting in my spot. I could recognize that silhouette anywhere.

I quickly turned away thinking I could go unseen. "Tessa, wait up," said Nathan.

I just kept walking not looking back. All I heard was Nathan yelling my name. He was getting closer. And of course with my bad luck, I wound up on the ground because of my clumsy feet.

Two hands grabbed my wrist without a word. I was then hoisted up. I dusted myself off. He was always there when I fell.

"Can we talk?" pleaded Nathan

"There is nothing to talk about." I replied.

He searched for words for a minute. "Listen, I know you want me to leave you alone. You have made that clear several times, but I want to be your friend."

"Why would you want to be friends with a freak?" I questioned.

"First of all stop calling yourself a freak. You are far from that. Don't listen to those lowlifes. Second, I want to be friends because." He paused. "Because I really don't know."

"First of all," I mocked, "I am a freak and those lowlifes are right. And second, please stop trying to be my friend or whatever you're doing. You said it yourself you don't even know why you would want to be my friend. So stop trying to make up fake excuses and go back to your friends, the lowlifes." When I finished, I marched to the bathroom for yet another day eating in the stalls.

I then heard the bathroom doors open. A knock was put upon my stall. "Occupied," was all I said.

"I'm not here to use this, we still need to talk." said Nathan.

"Get out of the bathroom, Nathan," I said loud enough so he could hear.

"No, first I want to know why you keep trying to push me away and why you won't even try to be friends with me," he said.

"Because I don't want any friends, especially ones that don't leave when they're not wanted," I put out coldly.

"Why are you so determined to be the lone wolf of the school?" he questioned.

"Do you listen at all? I. Do. Not. Want. Friends!" I exclaimed. "And stop pretending like you want to be my friend. I know what you're really doing. Trying to make a joke out of this. You're doing it to gain attention for your image. What makes you different from those other people who have made my life a river of tears? What makes you think you can just use me as a play toy? Well, I'm not going to be used for your own amusement. So please, for the last time leave me alone and pretend I don't exist just like everyone else."

I pushed the stall open and ran out of the bathroom. I promised myself that I would just ignore Nathan from now on. No more green eyes wandering in my head. No more questioning it. My mind was set.

Or so I thought