My Sweetest Downfall
Chapter 7 – By the Rules
Friday. Brooke loved Fridays. There was usually a party, like the one tonight. There was this anticipation about having two whole days with no school. Everyone was in a good mood on Fridays, but not Brooke. Today Brooke was in a horrible mood. She didn't like anything or anybody.
Felix tried to talk to her but she just snapped at him. "Brooke what is up with you today?" He asked.
"What? Nothing. Nothing is up with me. Why does something have to be up with me, huh? I just don't feel like talking." Brooke snapped.
Felix scoffed. "Since when don't you feel like talking? You always talk, even when you're mad."
She glared at him. "Let's just get to class." She ended the conversation.
Brooke sat in her usual desk and got her books out. The desk next to her was empty. She couldn't even think about the curly blonde who was supposed to be occupying that desk without seething. Why would she push me out of her life? We're best friends!
Peyton came in and sat down at that desk right before the teacher came in. Her hood was up and Brooke couldn't see her face. With her hoodie, faded jeans, and converse high-tops, she looked like she just rolled out of bed. Brooke knew that's probably exactly what happened.
Peyton felt Brooke's eyes on her, but she didn't look over at her. She kept her eyes on her text book. Since she was looking at it, she thought she might as well read along with the teacher for a change. She was reinventing herself into the loner that she'd always claimed to be, but really hadn't been because of Brooke. But now, she had to be. She hated what she was doing to her and Brooke, but she had no other choice. Soon maybe Brooke would move on and forget about her. That thought brought a sharp pain to Peyton's chest. Son of a bitch! She shut her eyes hard. That hurt. She breathed slowly in and out. She opened her eyes and saw Brooke staring at her out of the corner of her eye. Peyton kept her eyes forward.
Peyton avoided all her friends all morning, but when lunch came around Brooke set her tray down on Peyton's table and sat down. Peyton didn't look up from her sketch book.
Brooke looked hard at her friend before speaking. "So are you going to Bevin's party tonight?"
Peyton scoffed. "No." Why would she go to a party if she wanted to be away from people?
"Oh, well I want you to come. Who else will save me if I get too drunk and start trying to sleep with everyone?" Brooke asked, trying to lighten the mood.
Peyton finally looked at her, and Brooke had to quickly hide her shock at seeing Peyton's hollow eyes. What had happened to her P. Sawyer in one night that made her look like she was a ghost? "Brooke, I'm pretty sure you have plenty of friends to help you out with that, not to mention Felix."
"But none of them are you." Brooke said, and reached out and touched Peyton's hand. Peyton jerked her hand back as if she had been burned. Brooke was hurt at this, but tried not to show it.
Peyton sighed. "Brooke, I think we need a break, from each other I mean."
"Peyton, why? What's the point of doing that?" When Peyton didn't say anything Brooke kept going. "I don't want a break from you, ever."
Peyton never wanted a break from her eccentric best friend either, but she had to. "Because Brooke, we're going down different paths, and it's for the best right now."
"Different paths? When did you get all philosophical on me? It's for the best, my ass!" Brooke didn't buy Peyton's line for a second. "And since when do you get to decide that we have to take this stupid break, huh?"
"I didn't decide this Brooke, it just is." Peyton was so tired, and Brooke could see it.
"I'm not buying this Peyt, and I'm not giving up on us, ever. We've worked too hard and we've been through too much to just let this go."
Peyton was glad to hear that. She didn't want Brooke to give up on them. "I know Brooke, I know, but…"
"But nothing, Peyton! I know this is because of that stupid fucking secret that you can't tell me. Well guess what? I'm going to find out what it is, and I'm going to help you, whether you like it or not!"
Peyton couldn't be there anymore. She stood up. "I gotta go."
"Whatever." Brooke said. "Just remember what I said."
"And you remember what I said, and please stay away." Peyton's tone wasn't angry, just pleading.
Before Peyton could walk away, Brooke said. "So, I guess this means you're done with cheerleading."
"No," Peyton sighed. "I'll be there." This surprised the hell out of Brooke. Peyton said the rest under her breath, but Brooke still heard it. "It's not like I have a choice."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Brooke wondered aloud.
Peyton looked at her once more with those hollow eyes. "Have a nice life Brooke. I'll see you around." With that, Peyton walked out of Brooke's life.
Brooke couldn't believe this. She had to find out what was going on, and soon, before Peyton did something to hurt herself. She knew how self-destructive Peyton could get. That scared her.
At cheer practice Peyton showed up as promised. Brooke watched her friend go through the motions and not talk to anyone as much as possible. Peyton had Brooke's heart breaking on the inside, but what she didn't know is that Peyton's heart broke just as much to do what she was doing.
As Peyton again walked out the door after practice without a word, Brooke thought that was the last she would see of her best friend all weekend. Peyton was thinking the same about Brooke as she drove away in her Comet, but they were both wrong.
111
When Peyton got home she an all too familiar SUV in her driveway. Fuck! She had slowed down to pull in to her driveway, but now she kept going straight ahead. She was about to hit the gas when Dan got out of his SUV and pointed at her.
Peyton yelled in her car to the top of her lungs. "FUCK! SHIT, SHIT, FUCK!" She didn't cry though. She had wasted too many tears because of him. She pulled into the driveway after all and got out of her car. This was the first time he had come to her home. She hated him for coming here. Her sanctuary. She hated him, period.
"Hello Peyton." Dan greeted her warmly.
She didn't acknowledge him, she just walked right past him into her house. She went straight up to her room and threw her backpack in the corner.
"So, this is your room. Dark." Dan remarked.
Peyton cursed herself for coming up here. She should've stayed downstairs so maybe he wouldn't see her room. She was facing her window and she didn't turn to face him. "Yeah."
He came up behind her and started massaging her shoulders. She instantly tensed up at his touch. "You need to relax more." His mouth was close to her ear and she shuddered. He bent down and kissed her neck.
Peyton pulled away out of his reach and faced him. "Can we please not do this in my home?" She asked timidly. She was so scared of him.
Dan didn't miss a beat. "Sure, okay Peyton have it your way." He said politely. "I'll just stop by the post office before it closes so I can get that package sent off to L.A." He turned to leave.
"No! Just wait." Peyton pleaded. "I…I don't…it's fine." She relented.
"Make up your mind Peyton. This is what you signed up for, so act like it." He said roughly. "You will do this when and how I want it. Is that clear?"
"Y-yes." She said, back to looking at the floor.
"Okay then, where were we?" He slipped her leather jacket off, and picked her up and set her on her bed. He pulled her t-shirt over her head and undid her bra. This was the first time he had actually taken the time to enjoy her body, and he reveled in every second of it.
He cupped her breasts with his hands and massaged her nipples with his fingers.
She felt so sick.
He put his hands all over her body. He laid her on her back and straddled her legs. He ran his hands up her arms and down her torso to her stomach.
She closed her eyes, not wanting to see him do this to her. She suddenly felt his weight leave her body and she opened her eyes.
He stood beside her bed undressing himself. When he was completely naked, he took off Peyton's shoes and pants. Then, he ran his hands up her legs and took her underwear in his fingers and slipped them off too.
She just lay there motionless, trying not to do anything to provoke him.
He laid on top of her putting his whole naked body on hers. She closed her eyes again. He kissed her. He had never done that before either, and it surprised her. She hated it. She hoped she projectile vomited into his mouth. But, of course she couldn't make herself sick on command.
She didn't kiss him back; he couldn't make her do that. He kissed her neck and moved his mouth to her breast and sucked on her nipple. He ran his hands roughly up and down her whole body. He opened her legs with his knee and put his shaft inside her. He was so rough that she brought her hands up involuntarily to his shoulders and tried to stop him from moving inside her.
Her efforts were useless. It hurt so much that she cried out. This only encouraged him, and he got even rougher. He liked it when she resisted him. He liked a fighter, and she fought. She was in so much pain from his harsh movements that she acted without thought. She kicked her legs out and thrashed about on the bed. She brought her fists down on his arms as hard as she could. He just smiled wide.
She cried out. "Fuck you, FUCK YOU!" Tears streamed down her face.
Dan gripped her shoulders and arms hard as he held her in place, leaving marks wherever he touched her. He gave up on her arms when she wouldn't stay in place, and pressed his hands hard down on her ribs. He left his marks there too.
As he reached his climax, he bent down and bit her shoulder and drew blood. He rolled off of her and lay beside her on the bed catching his breath. He liked this one, especially when she fought. He decided he also liked to leave his mark on her. She was now his property.
Peyton didn't move. She was relieved when he got up and started dressing himself. "You'd better get cleaned up Peyton. I wouldn't want you to miss Bevin's party." He said.
She looked at him, shocked. "What? What are you talking about?" She sat up.
"I like to keep in the loop." He said while buttoning his shirt.
"I'm not going to any party." She said more forcefully than she meant too. She didn't want to get him upset. Who knows what he might do.
"Oh yes you are." He said it like there was no question. "You are going to be sociable. You are going to act happy, and you will hang out with your friends. You will talk to them like nothing's changed." He reached down and gripped the back of her neck hard. "And you will do it until I say otherwise."
He let go. She was sure he left his mark there too. "How long do I have to stay at the party?" She asked hesitantly.
"Three hours."
She pushed her luck. "One."
He stopped tying his shoe and looked over at her. "Two."
She gained confidence. "One and a half."
"Done."
She didn't feel better. It's not like she won anything.
He finished dressing. "Look, Peyton, you're going to have to learn to live with this. But you are not going to draw people's attention by cutting yourself off from everyone." He smirked. "Like I said, I cover my bases." He walked to the door and looked back at the naked scared girl on the bed. "You're mine." He smiled and left.
Now she felt like projectile vomiting. She ran into the bathroom and put up the toilet lid just in time.
She felt so dirty.
She laid her face on the cool tiles of the bathroom floor. This was the second worst week of her life, the first being when her mom died. She couldn't believe he cared that she went to that stupid party. Why should he? She sighed. She'd better get her naked body off the floor and put some clothes on.
He didn't say what time she had to be there. How the hell would he know anyway? She decided to put shorts and a tank top on and go for a run. At her front door lay another wad of cash. At least he's consistent. Maybe she should open a savings account for dirty money. Might as well get rich off the bastard.
She ran like she could fly if she just lifted her arms. She was starting to like it. It was the only time she felt free. When she wasn't running she felt as if she had shackles on…like she was weighed down and trapped. She ran for a long time and it was nearly dark when she got back home.
Home. She didn't want to call it that now.
She stripped her bed and her sweaty clothes and threw everything in the wash, and then she had herself another cold shower. When she was halfway dressed for the party, she eyed her leather jacket. Without hesitation she pulled out the little vial and setup the lines of coke on her small mirror. She could definitely use this if she was going to have a good time at the party, she thought as she snorted the lines.
If this was what Dan wanted then fine. She would be anywhere he wanted, but she would always make sure she had enough coke to enjoy herself.
111
Peyton felt great. The wind was blowing through her hair as she sped down the street at about 30 miles over the speed limit. She was on her way to Bevin's house for the party. She had her music all the way up and her hands were in the air; she was driving with her knee. She looked up at the stars as she drove under them. There were so many stars.
By the time she reached Bevin's place she was ready to party it up. She walked in the front door to see a bunch people dancing to a song she approved of. That put a smile on her face. She made a beeline for the kitchen where she hoped the keg would be. She was right. She chugged her first cup of beer and poured herself a second before going in search of some fun.
Brooke came inside from the back yard to get a refill and saw a head of blonde curls right before she bumped into Peyton. "Wha-, Peyton! I thought you weren't coming." Brooke said, surprised to see her best friend.
"Brooke!" Peyton yelled over the music. She threw an arm around the brunette. "What kinda fun are you up to, huh?"
Brooke was taken aback. Was Peyton drunk already? When had she gotten here? Brooke didn't know what high Peyton was like, so she thought it was drunk Peyton talking to her. "Um, I thought you weren't talking to me."
"It's a party Brooke." Peyton slurred her words a bit. "We can talk at parties. You, Brooke Davis," Peyton put her finger to Brooke's chest. "are the best partier I know."
"Okay, I think you've had enough to drink tonight." Brooke tried to take Peyton's cup, but Peyton let go of Brooke and stepped out of her reach. She took the opportunity to chug her beer.
"Brooke, come on, let's dance!" Peyton said, and pulled Brooke onto the dance floor. Brooke did as Peyton asked, mostly because she missed this Peyton, the one who wanted Brooke around. Guys around them kept trying to break in and dance with Brooke or Peyton, but they kept a hold on each other. Brooke wasn't letting drunk Peyton out of her sight.
When the third song ended, Peyton led Brooke off the dance floor and back toward the kitchen for a refill. Brooke let her. With two full cups in her hands Peyton went out on the back porch and Brooke followed.
They sat on a porch swing and Peyton handed Brooke one of the cups. "Here ya go B. Davis." Peyton almost tipped it onto Brooke's lap, but Brooke caught it in time.
"Why thank you P. Sawyer." Brooke said laughing. They there in silence watching people dance, couples make out, and others play drinking games. Brooke didn't want to break the silence because she was scared that it might break the spell of her best friend being back again. But, Brooke had to take this opportunity to learn all she could about Peyton's secret. "So Peyton, why did you come tonight? Last I heard you weren't going anywhere near this party."
Peyton had been staring at a couple she didn't know who were taking turns whispering in each other's ears. Peyton thought that looked nice. She leaned her head over and whispered into Brooke's ear. "I had to come here tonight. I didn't have a choice." Peyton decided whispering in Brooke's ear was awesome.
Brooke shivered at Peyton's whisper, but the words she heard didn't make sense. Brooke whispered too, but not in Peyton's ear. She wasn't that drunk. "What are you talking about? Why didn't you have a choice?"
Peyton didn't say anything. Instead she took a drink of her beer, then said, "Well, I could've stayed home and had fun, but then I wouldn't get to see you now would I?" This time she didn't whisper, but spoke up into the sky as she stared at the stars again. "I wonder why there are so many."
Brooke was about to respond when a loud voice spoke to her. "Brooke, there you are. I've been looking for you." Felix came bounding over to the swing and tried to sit in Brooke's lap. Impeccable timing Felix. Dammit! I wanted to know what Peyton meant.
"Felix! Ow, get off!" Brooke moved over toward Peyton so she wouldn't be under Felix' weight. He just laughed. "I was trying to have a conversation here." Brooke said a little frustrated.
"Brooke, this is a party! Come on, let's dance!" Felix all but yelled.
Brooke remembered Peyton saying those same words to her earlier. She liked it better when Peyton said it. She looked over at Peyton who suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "Um, I'm gonna stay here with Peyton for a bit actually." Brooke said.
Peyton spoke up. "No. You know what? I was just leaving." Her buzz had worn off quickly when Felix showed up. "You two go have fun." She looked at her red watch. Time was up. She looked at Brooke who was about to speak, but Peyton stood up and cut her off. "I have to be somewhere anyway." She had to be home and in bed at last. She didn't want to be around people. She felt edgy. The cocaine had definitely worn off. She started walking back to where she had parked.
"Peyton, wait!" Brooke yelled after her, but Peyton didn't stop. Brooke moved out of Felix' reach and caught up to her. "Peyton, what is going on with you?" Peyton didn't stop, so Brooke kept up with her. She could tell Peyton was herself again. "Please let me in Peyton! You don't have to keep secrets from me, especially when you are hurting."
This made Peyton stop in her tracks. "Why do you think I'm hurting?" She asked, staring hard at Brooke.
Brooke stared right back. "Because I know you P. Sawyer." She said it sincerely.
Peyton closed her eyes for a brief moment to capture this memory and Brooke's face in her mind. When she opened them again a tear fell down her cheek. Brooke caught it with her thumb. "I'm so sorry Brooke. I can't let you in right now."
Peyton ran the rest of the way to her car and left her best friend standing there wishing she was running with Peyton instead of having to go back to her boyfriend. She would never give up on Peyton, no matter what.