Disclaimer: I don't own anything; and I appreciate the loan of Rod Stewart and his song. I hope he doesn't mind. Please don't mind Rod. I love your work. Side note: I started this story before the idea to include the song came to me.
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I also really appreciate all the follows and favorites. Thanks very much! So don't forget: reviews are great and make me happy.
This is a VERY long chapter for me and the last in this story. It was really hard to write so I hope you enjoy it.
CACACACACACACACACA
As soon as Auggie got home, he booted up his computer and logged into his itunes account. He found and down loaded the song and listened to the entire song for the first time.
I didn't know what day it was
When you walked into the room
I said hello unnoticed
You said goodbye too soon
Breezing through the clientele
Spinning yarns that were so lyrical
I really must confess right here
The attraction was purely physical
I took all those habits of yours
That in the beginning were hard to accept
Your fashion sense, beardsly prints
I put down to experience
The big bosomed lady with the dutch accent
Who tried to change my point of view
Her ad lib lines were well rehearsed
But my heart cried out for you
Chorus:
You're in my heart, you're in my soul
You'll be my breath should i grow old
You are my lover, you're my best friend
You're in my soul
My love for you is immeasurable
My respect for you immense
You're ageless, timeless, lace and fineness
You're beauty and elegance
You're a rhapsody, a comedy
You're a symphony and a play
You're every love song ever written
But honey what do you see in me
(chorus)
You're an essay in glamour
Please pardon the grammar
But you're every schoolboy's dream
You're celtic, united, but baby i've decided
You're the best team i've ever seen
And there have been many affairs
Many times i've thought to leave
But i bite my lip and turn around
'cause you're the warmest thing i've ever found
(chorus)
"Damn, this song really is about Annie and I." Auggie was very surprised. He put the song on constant replay. Sitting at his computer, he closed his eyes and just listened to the song over and over again seeing in his head everything that said 'Annie' to him. When he discovered he couldn't feel his butt anymore, he checked his watch to discover it was already almost 3am. He stretched, stood up and headed to bed with his new favorite song still playing in the background.
He was awoken several hours later by an explosion that went off right next to his head. He sat bolt up in bed, reaching for his weapon while searching around in the darkness for the enemy. It took a couple of frantic minutes before he realized where he was and that the explosion was a clap of thunder. As he mind came around to the present, his ears picked up the rain flooding down his windows.
Calming his heart and taking several deep even breaths, he leaned over and pushed the button on his bedside clock, "8:22am". The song was still playing throughout his apartment reminding him of everything he wanted to do today. Smiling but very nervous he decided that it was time to get up and face the day and all that it was going to contain.
Showered, dressed and with coffee in his hand he turned off the music and called Annie.
"Auggie!" Annie's happy voice answered her phone.
"Hey Walker, I don't think our walk is going to be a good idea today. How about you come over, picking up something to eat on your way and we have a day in?"
"Sounds like a good plan, Anderson. Be there around noon? With Thai food?"
"Extra spicy! Love it. See you then. Oh wait. Can you bring over paper plates or bowls or whatever we need? I haven't replaced the dishes yet."
She laughed, "You bought coffee mugs but no plates?"
"Thought that might be something we can do together since you're the one who's gotta look at them."
"Ok, whatever, not a problem. See you then." She hung up while still chuckling.
Auggie put his phone down, turned the music back on and just waited, working out what he was going to say and what she would say and how this day was going to go.
Just before noon, Annie showed up with bags of food, beer and paper plates & plastic cups. As she walked in the door she looked at Auggie. He had a smile on his face but she was suspicious. "How're you feeling today, Aug?" She asked as she put all the bags on the island and started to unpack them, moving the food to the coffee table.
He pulled out two bottles of beer from the six-pack she brought before turning to the fridge and putting the rest of them away. "I'm better today than I was yesterday and yesterday was better than the day before. You were right and I thank you for it. How are you? How's Eyal?" Auggie cringed and could have slapped himself when he asked that, it sounded jealous even to his own ears.
Annie looked at him skeptically but let it slide. "Fine, I guess. His vacation was cut short. He was recalled to King Saul and left last night." Changing the subject, "I'm hungry. Let's eat." They both sat on the sofa and Annie described what they were eating and where on the table she had placed it.
They had been eating in almost silence, only commenting on the deliciousness of the food, for about 15 minutes when Auggie suddenly put his food down and leaned back on the sofa. "What's wrong?" Annie asked around a mouthful of food.
Auggie rubbed his hands over his face and looked at her. "I wanna come clean. Talk about Parker and everything."
Annie swallowed her mouthful of food, "Ok, talk". She had known this is what he really wanted from her, a friendly ear to dump on and as his best friend she would listen, but she really didn't want to hear the details. She placed her paper plate still with a lot of food on it, on the table and grabbed her beer. Taking a long and deep gulp of it, she turned herself to more fully face him.
Auggie felt her shift her position on the sofa and leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees, still looking in her direction. "I got engaged to Parker because it made me feel normal."
"Normal?"
"Yea, wife, kids, dog. Normal."
"Who are you Ward Cleaver? Normal for us Auggie isn't normal for the rest of the world."
Auggie smiled, "So I have come to realize. You know the last three days have kind of been a figurative 'slap Auggie in the face' three days."
"Not just figurative." Annie sing songed with a smile.
He cracked a bigger smile, "Yea, I guess. You're not going to do that again are you?" He asked while giving her a weary look.
"Do I need to?"
"I don't think so, Million Dollar Baby." Auggie said with a real smile.
"Not that funny Aug," Annie replied. "So you wanted to be Ward Cleaver. What does that have to do with Parker?"
"I saw her as my way to get that."
"Is that what she wanted? I thought she was in the Peace Corps? Doesn't sound like she wanted to be a wife right then."
Auggie's face drew into a deep frown. "No. She wanted to be a wife, just not yet and I don't think I was the one she wanted it with." He paused, "I think she was right and that we were using each other to hang on to Billy, onto our past."
Annie wanted to say something but she thought this was something he had to work out on his own. She would be his rock right now, but she was more sandstone than granite. She felt like she was crumbling with him as she watched his emotions play across his face and through his deep eyes. She remained silent as she put her beer on the table, only then taking his hand in her hand and giving it a squeeze.
Auggie took her hand in both of his, "I think we both needed each other to get over what happened in Tikrit. I thought I had dealt with it all, but apparently not so much."
She waited, again in silence, for him to continue.
"So, when she left me, all I wanted was to drink all the pain away with my best friend at my side. Instead I met Clark. We talked and drank and he called me a greedy bastard. You remember him?"
Annie squeezed his hand again, "I remember him, he was kinda funny."
"He helped me realize I have been a greedy bastard." He said it flatly, like he expected her to figure out what he was talking about.
After waiting for him to continue, she finally asked, "Greedy bastard about what?"
"You. I've been a greedy bastard about you. Annie all those times I called you in when you were on dates, I did that on purpose." He kept talking, hoping she wouldn't interrupt him or kill him before he got it out. "I didn't realize I was doing it, but, I guess I was. There were other ops that could have done what needed doing, but I wanted you there, to be with me. And when it was over, you would go home, alone, I would be able to go home to Parker. Annie, I didn't want you to be with anyone else. I wanted you to be with me, I didn't want to share you. I was being greedy and a bastard. Annie, it was so unfair and I'm so sorry; but honest, I didn't realize that's what I was doing."
During his speech Annie had pulled her hand out of his grasp and just stared at him.
"Annie, please say something." Annie got off the sofa and started to pace around the room. He took a deep breath and decided to continue. If she isn't going to talk and she's going to hate me anyway, better to get it all out in the open now, he thought.
"I went to the tavern last night again. Jai showed up and then Clark joined us. We got to talking about everything and then Clark asked Emma, our server, to help us out. Something about three men sitting in a bar talking about feelings was wrong and we needed a woman's help. She came over and said some stuff and helped me realize that you are everything to me Annie and that I'm in love with you."
Annie stopped pacing at that statement and stared at him with her eyes wide open and her mouth open. Finally, "You Love Me? Auggie! You were ENGAGED for Christ's sakes. What the hell?"
"Annie…" but she interrupted him and he just dropped his head down to his chest.
"NO!..no no no no." Annie started to pace again. "You tell me that in three day's time, you went from being engaged to broken hearted to being in love with me? Because of something Emma said? Is that what you want me to believe?"
"Yes, because it's the truth."
She glared and scoffed at him for that while still pacing like a caged cat.
"It's true! Stop pacing and listen, please?" At the hint of desperation in his voice, she stopped her pacing and plopped herself down on the sofa; the other end of the sofa so she was out of arms reach. "Ok, Emma asked me, well she didn't really ask me more as she said some stuff and then it made sense and then I was shocked and I couldn't believe her and then Jai said some more stuff…"
"Auggie!"
"Rambling, right, sorry, I'm nervous. Ok, can you hear the song playing?"
"Yea, haven't had a choice but to hear it, it's been on the same song since I got here. I didn't even know you were a Rod Stewart fan."
"I wasn't until last night. Do you know this song?"
"Yea, it's one of my Mom's favorites. I grew up listening to it. What's that got to do with anything?"
"The chorus." He spoke the words to her, "'You're in my heart, you're in my soul, you'll be my breath should I grow old, you are my lover, you're my best friend, you're in my soul.' Annie that's what you are to me. The rest of the song is pretty much us as well."
"Ok…" Annie says slowly. "So…you say you're in love with me because of a song? What do you want from me?"
That took him by surprise. In all the scenarios that he imagined, not one of them contained her asking him that. Falling into his arms saying she loved him too? Hell yes! Laughing her head off at him? Yes. But not that one. So he said the first thing that came to mind, fortunately it was also the truth, "I want us to be together." He said simply.
She took a deep cleansing breath, "Auggie, since you're being honest with me, I will be honest as well, I'm in love with you too but I'm not sure I want to be with you right now." His face fell. "I deserve better than to be your re-bound girl. Just because you finally decided that Hoover-era 'normal'" she air quoted around the word, "isn't for people like us and that Rod Stewart knows his shit doesn't make everything alright. And as much as I love that song, will you please shut it off!"
Auggie got off the sofa and turned the song off. "Annie, you are NOT my re-bound girl. I think that was Parker because…Wait, you're in love with me? Really?" She watched the hope enter his eyes as he sent her a huge smile and returned to the sofa, sitting closer to her than before. "Since when?"
She was warmed by what she saw in his eyes and on his face, but she had to stay firm. "Auggie", she said in a warning tone. "This isn't about me, this about you."
"Just tell me, since when? 'Cause looking back on the first two years that I have known you, I think I fell for you on that first day; on your first mission."
"Auggie, why would Parker be your re-bound girl?" Annie asked to get him back on track.
He reached for her hand, instinctively knowing exactly where she was, "'Cause she isn't you. She could never be you. Do you know where she is on my speed dial? #4. You are #1, Langley is #2 and Joan is #3. Like you said, we aren't normal people; we are spies and no one gets us like another spy. Please, I want to be with you. You are my number 1, not my number 4.
"But I do want you to understand that I did and maybe still do love her. I'm not that callus that I just used her. I see now that she helped me get over one of the worst times in my life and I think I helped her get over one of the worst times in her life. But what she and I had is small compared to what we could have together. No, it's small compared to what we have right now with just our friendship. And it can only get better. If you will have me."
She shook her head, took her hand back, grabbed her now warm, flat beer and drained the bottle, "Auggie, I do want to be with you but, we are so going to take this slow. I know intra-agency dating is encouraged, but you DID just get out a relationship, I'm not willing to just jump into a relationship with you and have it explode on me.
"This is going to take time and effort on both our parts, I think. We have both been burned and I want this to work. Agreed?"
"Agreed." Auggie said smiling bigger than he had in a long time. Annie couldn't help it, she copied his smile and he could actually feel the joy coming off her.
They stopped talking and just looked at each other, then blushed and looked away. "Okay, our first awkward pause. Now that that is out of the way, where would you like to go on our first date?" Auggie asked.
Annie broke out in laughter, when she calmed down she suggested "How about we finish our cold Thai food and warm beer and watch a movie? That was our plan to begin with and it's still raining outside. This can be our first date."
"But we do this all the time, how's that a good first date?"
"It's been a while since we just hung out together. We've already had one weird pause, let's keep this casual and see if we can't rebuild what we had before."
"I love that idea." He said as he leaned forward and found his food and warm beer. Leaning back into the sofa, he felt Annie leave the sofa and return a minute later placing something on the table.
She curled up next to him with her own plate of food and said, "New beer at 10 o'clock." He knew right then that with time and patience they were going to be ok and he wouldn't need to be a greedy bastard anymore.