Anger's Heartbreak Ch. 7
Bobby could feel the frigid atmosphere as soon as he walked into Sam's room. He could see how tense Dean was just from the way his shoulders were held so rigid. He could feel waves of anxiety coming off of John and wondered what the fool had done this time to create such a hostile atmosphere in young Sam's room.
Bobby walked into the room and over to Sammy's bed. "Hey there sport, I hear you're not feeling to well" he said as he ruffled Sammy's hair.
"No sir" Sammy answered him with downcast eyes. He hated having to admit he was feeling bad in front of his father and wasn't able to suck it up. Now had dad had more ammunition to use against him.
Bobby felt bad when he noticed how Sammy seemed to cringe when he made the statement about him feeling bad and he noticed how Sammy avoided looking at him or anybody else in the eye. "Why is Sammy ashamed of being sick" he wondered as the kid rolled over onto his side and closed his eyes.
Still wondering, Bobby looked at John and Dean and said, "Why don't we go out in the hall and talk so Sammy can get some rest.
Dean palmed Sammy's cheek with his hand and said, "Ill just be in the hallway with dad and Bobby, get some rest dude. I'll be back in a few minutes."
Sam smiled to let his brother know he had heard him since he was suddenly too weary to even open his eyes. He drifted off to sleep as he heard the others leaving the room.
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"What in the hell is going on here?" Bobby gritted out through clenched teeth demanding an answer. "Why did Sammy just recoil in on himself at having to admit he was sick?"
Dean looked at his dad with piercing eyes as he uttered "Why don't you ask HIM" enunciating the last word with unmitigated anger. "He's the freaking reason Sammy is in the hospital now."
Bobby was taken back by how angry Dean was at his dad. Dean was always the perfect soldier when it came to John. He couldn't believe how things had changed so drastically since the last time he had seen the Winchester family.
"Care to explain what's going on here John, and don't bother telling me that it's none of my business. I love those boys like they are my own" said Bobby as he turned his attention to John.
It's kind of hard to explain Bobby. Things have been a little tense between me and Sammy lately. I mean the kid has been so moody and always picking an argument with me, how was I supposed to know that he truly was getting sick? I just thought he was being his usual whiny self."
"That's not fair dad, don't you dare blame Sammy for this. He told you he wasn't feeling well, but you just kept telling him to 'suck it up Sammy.' You didn't listen to him and now he's paying the price. You make me sick!" Dean spat out as he turned around and walked back into Sammy's room. He couldn't stand to be around his father anymore.
Bobby turned disbelieving eyes on John. "Is it true, did you ignore the warning signs that Sammy was giving you about being sick?"
"I thought he was just trying to get out of the hunt Bobby. You know how much of a pain he has been lately about hunting" John stated trying to defend his actions.
"He's just a kid you damned idjit" Bobby forced through clenched teeth. "When are you going to look past your need for revenge to see that you've got two children who need your love and support John? They're not the soldiers that you want them to be. I ought to shoot your ass for what you are doing to them."
John was upset at the dressing down that Bobby was giving him. "They're my kids Bobby and I'll raise them as I see fit!"
"Yeah, and just look where that's got you now" Bobby said. "You're oldest son can't even stand to be near you and your baby boy is in the hospital. That's some fine job you've done of raising them."
John deflated upon hearing Bobby's words. Bobby was right. He felt like Dean hated him right now and if something happened to Sammy, then he would lose Dean as well.
"God Bobby, things are just so crewed up right now. I've really messed up where Sammy is concerned. What the hell am I gonna do? I can't lose my boys."
"I don't know what to tell you John. You've got your work cut out for you. Right now, you've just got to be there for them, let them know they're the most important thing in your life. Just give them some time and patience and hopefully things will get better."
John rubbed his hand across his bearded chin and said, "Yeah, I guess you're right. I've got a long road ahead of me where the boys are concerned, but I'm going to take every step it takes to get my boys back Bobby."
Bobby clasped his hands on John's shoulder. "Well then let's take that first one by getting back in that room with your boys."
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Dean was sitting in the chair beside Sammy's bed and softly rubbing Sammy's cheek with his fingers when John and Bobby walked back into the room. He looked up at the hunters through bloodshot eyes as he rubbed at his chest. He was in a good bit of pain but tried to hide it not wanting to leave Sammy's side.
"Dean, you need to let the doctor give you something for the pain you're feeling" John insisted hoping that Dean would give in.
"The only thing I need is for Sammy to get better and you to leave me alone" Dean said as he once again focused his attention on his baby brother.
John was just about to say something more when Sam's doctor walked back into the room.
"I'm glad you're both here" Dr. Mitchell stated at seeing both John and Dean in the room. "I've got Sam's test results back."
The tension in the room rose dramatically as the doctor made his announcement. They could tell by the look on the doctor's face that the news wasn't going to be good.
"I'm sorry to say the disease has progressed further than we had first thought. Sam's liver and kidneys are being infected by the toxins from the disease. I was hoping that we could have treated the Leptospirosis with a high level dose of antibiotics, but since the disease is in an advanced stage, Sam is going to need dialysis on his kidneys and liver if he is going to survive this disease." Dr. Mitchell always hated delivering such devastating news to the family members of his patients, especially when the patient was as young as Sam.
"Doc, what are his chances?" asked John needing to know how much of an uphill battle Sam was going to be facing.
"He has a 60/40 chance of surviving this disease John. I know you would like to see better odds, but I can tell that Sam is a fighter and we will do everything we can to help your son."
"When will you need to start the treatments?" John questioned.
"I'd like to start them as soon as possible. The sooner we start, the better chance Sam has of making a full recovery" Jack explained. "With your permission, we will get Sam started on the dialysis treatments tomorrow morning."
"Just do whatever is best for Sam doc. He's my main priority right now." stated John as he signed the permission forms for the doc to start the treatments on Sam.
As the doctor left, John and Bobby looked over to see that Dean had his head pillowed on his arms on the edge of Sammy's bed and that his shoulders were shaking. It was obvious that Dean was crying from the muffled sounds that were coming from the bed.
John walked over and placed his hand on Dean's back trying to offer his support to his oldest child. Dean looked up at him with tears streaming down his face and said, "Why couldn't you have just listened to Sammy? Why did you have to push him so much that he decided to hide how bad he was feeling?"
Suddenly a look of total despair crossed Dean's faceas he sobbed out, "Oh God, what have we done? It's my fault too. I should have stood up to you when I felt Sam wasn't telling you everything."
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Bobby felt awful for Dean and John as he watched the emotions that crossed their faces. They were both being overwhelmed by the fact that they had played a part in Sammy being so ill right now. He could see the total devastation on Dean's face as he watched the kid becoming more and more upset. He knew he needed to calm the kid down quickly.
Dean's face quickly lost all color as he thought about his role in Sam's illness. His breathing sped up and he began to see black spots dancing in front of his eyes. He knew he needed to calm down in case Sammy needed him but he just couldn't seem to get control of himself.
Bobby quickly made his way to Dean's side, seeing that John was still having trouble getting control over his own emotions. He placed his hand on the back of Dean's head and pulled the boy towards him until Dean's head rested on his chest. "You've got to calm down Dean. Listen to my breathing, in and out. Breathe with me kid, in and out, in and out."
Bobby could feel Dean starting to relax and gain control of his breathing once again. "That's it Dean, keep it up, in and out, in and out."
Dean felt a little better as the black spots started to recede and he regained control of his breathing once again thanks to Bobby.
"M'okay now Bobby" Dean said as he felt Bobby cradling his nape. "Thanks for coming man."
"Anytime Dean, you know how I feel about you boys. Anytime you need me, all you have to do is call and I'll be here." Bobby meant every word of what he said to Dean, He would go through hell and high water for either of John's boys if they needed him.
Determined to help his friends, Bobby said "Alright, it's time to pull yourselves together. Sammy is going to need your strength to get through this coming battle. I suggest you two put this anger behind you for Sammy's sake and give the kid all the support he needs.
"You're right Bobby" said Dean, "We need to push our feeling aside until Sam's better and then figure out where we go from there." Seeing that John agreed, they focused their attention on Sammy and the battle to come.
TBC