I. AM. SO. SORRY! I never meant to take this long with the update. It's been a crazy couple of weeks for both me and my beta, and then she beta'd the wrong chapter, and all in all I apologize. I'd like to thank all those that reviewed and I was really happy to hear from some new people in addition to the regulars. Thank you so much for your support, it means the world to me. Now on to the story!

Also: Sydeny is played by the wonderful, beautiful, incredibly sexy, absolutely gorgeous, and incredibly talented Boris Kodjoe. Google him if you'd like. =) Enjoy…and about this chapter, don't hate me…

Chapter 6-Lost and Found

He does not know where to start. She has cancelled her cell phone plan and closed all of her accounts. There are thousands of Olivia Bensons in the country, a few of them are even cops, but he is no closer to figuring out which one was his. He hates this. He hates not knowing where his kids are. He hated having to tell older children that while they did have new siblings, they weren't allowed to see them. Then three weeks later having to tell them that he doesn't even know where they are. Their disappointment is evident, and it only makes the pain of losing his kids before he even gets to know them all the more painful.

He doesn't know where to begin until he realizes that his ADA had suspiciously gone missing as well. She comes in to get information on a case a week later. He pulls her into an interrogation room and confronts her once the opportunity presents itself.

"Tell me where they are," he demands, once the door has closed behind them.

"What? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't play games with me. Olivia and my kids. You know where they are so tell me."

"I'm not getting involved in this. This is between you and her. I have nothing to do with it," she moves to get past him, but he's faster and more desperate and he quickly cuts off her exit by blocking the door.

"You helped her move to where she is which means you're an accessory to the crime."

"Crime? What crime?"

"Kidnapping."

"Really, Elliot, you're going to threaten a lawyer, an ADA for that matter, with criminal charges? You don't even have any proof, I was on vacation with my boyfriend. And before you start digging through my personal information trying to find them, I'd consider the lawsuit I'd slap your ass with. I'm pretty sure Cragen wouldn't appreciate that, and neither would your wife when she realizes you lost your pension over Olivia," she seethes. "But, I'd still like to consider us friends. So as a friend and a lawyer, let me help you out a bit with New York State custody laws. As of right now, you have no rights to those kids. You and Olivia were never married. In fact you were married to another woman at the time of their birth and conception. Therefore things get little bit complicated from here. There is no legal record whatsoever that recognizes you as their father. You're not even listed on their birth certificates. So Olivia didn't kidnap anybody. She moved and took her children with her, as is her right. Which squashes the rest of your case. Do some research next time you want to play legal games with a lawyer. Now, if you would excuse me," she says and moves past him.

"So wait?" she pauses at the door and turns to look at him, clearly still annoyed. "I have no rights to them? None at all?"

"No."

"But I'm their father, biologically I'm their father."

"Right now, DNA doesn't mean anything. According to the law you're not."

He is at a loss. How is he supposed to see his kids when he doesn't even have a single right to them?

"You know where she is, though?"

"Yes I do, but I'm not going to betray her confidence to help you."

"I thought we were friends."

"Yea, but my best friend and god children just moved away because you felt the need to build your ego by screwing her. You hurt her to the point where she couldn't bear to remain in the same state as you. The pain she's been in," Casey quickly blinks away her own tears. "I'm taking back my previous statement. We're no longer friends."

"Look, I know I'm not your favorite person right now, but they're my kids. I love them. I want to be in their lives. Please, help me," he pleads with eyes rimed with tears.

Her demeanor softens. "Elliot, maybe their lives are better without you. I'm sorry, but I can't help you. I really have to go…"

She steps around him, leaving him confused and lost.

VI

He finally resorts to a personal investigator. He doesn't want to, he knows that he can do just as good a job as any PI, but with his workload and the amount of time it requires, he has no other choice. He has to find them as soon as possible. He has to be a part of his children's lives before its too late. It is beginning to cause tension at home and he isn't up for losing his marriage or his job by illegally using their resources for his own personal agenda. Not when some extra cash and a favor here and there can solve all of his problems. Cragen has warned him, that if he doesn't focus on the job more or if he discovers him using the department's resources, his job would be in jeopardy. Kathy was not too happy when she found out what it would end up costing them, but she understood. It was for his children. Two months later he stands in front of the building that reads The Boston Police Department.

Olivia has been found.

VI

Elliot steps off the elevator and into the Boston police's Special Victims Unit. He looks around the hustle and bustle of their squad room and tries to locate Olivia. A tall man dressed in jeans and a T-shirt with a gun holster hanging from his shoulders approaches him

"Hi, I'm Lt. Sydney Harrison, is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Yea, I'm looking for Olivia Benson?"

"Oh, that's my partner. She's busy conducting an interview right now. Is there anything I can help you with?"

Elliot takes in his physique. He is tall, about 6'2 , bald. By necessity or choice, he isn't sure. He works out, Elliot figures, by the size of his arms and by the way his shirt stretches tightly across his torso. He needs to get a bigger shirt, Elliot muses to himself. He does not see a reason why his shirt needs to be so tight. What little facial hair he has is carefully groomed to perfection. A fine line to highlight the hard lines of his chiseled jaw and another around his mouth, but not much else. His skin is the color of caramel. He seems to be a pretty boy to Elliot.

He's ok.

Definitely not worthy of having the title of Olivia Benson's Partner.

"Um no I just really nee-"

"Elliot?"

Both men turn to the female voice that has just entered their conversation.

Olivia.

She looks good, Elliot thinks to himself as he watches her approach them. But from the look on her face it is clear that she is not happy to see him.

"What are you doing here?" she asks.

"Can we talk?"

"Can you finish up with Ms. Fullerton?" she asks Sydney, "She just needs to sign her statement, and have one of the unis take her home."

"Sure," Sydney replies, slightly confused. "You gonna be ok?" he asks her eyeing Elliot skeptically.

"I'll be fine," she replies.

Olivia walks out of the squad room and Elliot follows behind her. She doesn't stop until they are outside the precinct.

"You look good," he says, trying to lighten the mood. He finally has a chance to take in her full appearance. It has been months and months since he has seen her or really looked at her and taken in the subtle changes she has made to her appearance. She has lost the baby weight and her hair is longer. Her original hair color is back and full of silky highlights that glisten in the late morning sun.

"Why are you here?"

"You know why I'm here."

"Really, I don't, because I'm pretty sure I made it clear that I didn't want to see you ever again."

"I'm here to see my kids. Did you really think that you could just pick up and leave and I wouldn't come looking for them?"

"I figured you would have gotten the point and just let it go. My mistake, but there's nothing here for you, Elliot."

"My kids are here. They need a father."

"That may be true, but they don't need you. Just go back to Kathy and your kids, because we don't need you here."

Sydney comes up behind them, a skeptical look on his face. "Everything ok out here?"

"Yea, he was just leaving," she says and turns to head back into the precinct.

"I'm not leaving unti-"

He tries to reach for her, but Sydney steps in front of him, cutting off his access to Olivia, "I think you are."

The two men stand toe to toe, bodies nearly touching, humming with testosterone and anger. Olivia steps between the two of them. "Sydney, c'mon. Let's go. He's not worth it."

Sydney backs away but doesn't break his stare with Elliot. "Cap said to go pick up Bleaker."

"K, c'mon," she tugs on his arm and he finally turns and walks off with her.

Elliot watches the pair walk off then turns to face the open road in front of him. He has no intentions of giving up that easily.

VI

They stumble into his apartment in a flurry of hot kisses and pleasant groping. He quickly closes the door then presses her against it. He drops his holster to the floor as her hands tug on his shirt. He pulls hers off once his has been removed then reaches for the button on her slacks. He pulls away from her while she finishes removing them along with her underwear and her boots. He returns to her with his hardened member sheathed in a thin layer of latex then presses her back against the wall. Then he's in her, and she's in heaven. She secures her long legs around his waist as he thrusts inside her. He's always so long and thick and hard, and he fills her in a way she's never been filled before. He always has to be deep deep deep down inside her, and she loves it when he's there. She holds onto him as he fucks her against his door. They faintly hear a cell phone ringing in the background, but neither seems to care and they both decide to live in the moment. He takes her to oblivion and back-he always does- then leaves her shaky and clinging to him with her face buried in his neck. She slowly slides her legs down his, careful not to get caught in his pants, still tangled around his ankles.

He resituates himself in his pants then walks over and collapses on his couch and tries to catch his breath while she does the same. She sits down beside him and sees that she has two missed calls. She doesn't recognize the number, so she selects the green button and joins him on the couch as it begins to ring.

"Coogan's," a man answers.

"Hey, someone called me from this number."

"Yea, you Olivia?" the man's thick Bostonian accent comes through the phone.

"Yea?"

"I got some smuck he'ah, says he knows ya. He's wasted and in need of a designated drive'ah. How soon can you get he'ah?"

"Wait, who?"

"Hold on," she hears him set the phone down and his voice faintly in the background, "Hey, hey, hey buddy what's ya name?" he picks back up the phone. "Says his name's Elliot."

She sighs. "Can't you put him in a cab or something?"

"Tried. Says he aint got nowhe'ah to go."

She sighs once again. "Fine. I'll figure something out." She hangs up her phone then settles herself on her partner's couch. "When did you and Tasha break up?"

"Jessica."

"Jessica? I thought you called it quits with her a long time ago?"

"No, I called it quits with Brandi a long time ago. Tasha and I were never an item. We just hooked up a couple of times."

"Well you date so many its hard to keep 'em straight." He laughs a little bit at her. "So when did you and Jessica break up."

"I didn't. At least not yet."

"Not yet? Syd, I thought our one rule was that you weren't allowed to use me to cheat on your girlfriends."

"It's not cheating. I was going to break up with her today, but then we got that break in the case and ended up working late. And then this happened so…"

"What was wrong with this one?"

"Well, let's just say she was a bit too much of a lady. I need a freaky girl in bed. Someone like you."

She rolls her eyes. "Please."

"I'm not going to lie, you do have some…skills." He says eyeing her seductively. "Where'd you learn all that?"

"A magician never reveals her secrets," She winks at him.

He laughs. "I knew I liked you for a reason. The sex is just a bonus." She punches him in the arm. "Ow. Damn woman. Don't you know I bruise easily?"

She rolls her eyes at him. "You'll live."

"Soooo…ah. You just gonna let him stay there?"

"Stay where?"

"Please, Olivia. I told you a million times to turn down the volume on your cell phone. I could hear your whole conversation all the way over here. So are you going to help him out?"

She immediately grows defensive. "Why should I help him? I came here to get away from him, and he decided to follow me and then get himself drunk. He's a grown man, he can take care of himself."

"You're harsh."

"I'm not harsh. I just don't want him in my life."

"But it's not about you. It's about your kids. What if they want him in their lives."

"They're three months old, they don't know what they want."

"Exactly, and as their mother it's your job to not only decide what they want or need, but also what's best for them."

"What if I decide that him not being in their lives is what's best for them?"

"Olivia, he's here fighting tooth and nail with you just to see those kids. What are you so afraid of?"

"That he'll hurt them," she answers and looks at him seriously as she tries to bat away the tears.

"They're defenseless. I need to protect them."

"Protect them from what?"

"Him!" she throws her hands up in frustration as she stands and begins to pace his apartment. "Don't you get it? He'll somehow end up hurting them."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because he hurt…me," she answers as she loses her battle with her tears and they begin to stream down her face.

He takes her hand and pulls her back down to sit beside him. "Just because he hurt you, doesn't mean he'll hurt them too. Hey, he might end up being a great father to them."

"You don't know that."

"Neither do you."

"I still don't know…" she shakes her head.

"Olivia."

"I was second best to him, that means they are too, and they're my babies," she whispers and swipes away her tears. "I won't let them be second best to his other children. They deserve better than that. They deserve to be number one. I want them to be just as important to him as they are to me, and since that's never going to happen, he's never going to see them."

"Olivia, he left his job, his wife, and his kids with her, just to have a chance to spend some time with you and your kids."

"He didn't come here for me. He came here for them," she says sadly.

"And that's a problem because?"

She looks at him in disbelief then punches him again in the arm. "You're such an ass sometimes. Why are you defending him?"

He rubs the area where she just punched him. "Look, I'm not taking his side over yours, but it's not about you. It's about them. When I was growing up there weren't a lot of guys working this hard just to be in his kid's life."

"Did your father leave you?"

"Contrary to the stereotype, he did not."

"I didn't mean it that way."

"I know. My father died when I was very young. Like four or five. He was involved in a very bad car accident on a very rainy day. I don't remember much about him, but what I do remember is good. Really good, and my mom's always told me how much he loved me, and how much I meant to him. I'm actually named after him."

"I just thought she was disappointed in the fact that you weren't' a girl and refused to give up the name."

"I do not have a girl's name. My mom just changed the spelling, because she loved Australia. My father promised that he would take her one day, and never got the chance. But that's not important right now. What is important is the fact that my father was a great dad to me. He read to me at night. Was there for all my pop warner football games. Would coach me whenever he had time after work. He was a great Dad. I would give anything, and I mean anything, just to be able to spend one more day with him. Your kids have a father that wants to get to know them. If he dies on the streets one day what are you going to tell them when they ask about him? And they will ask about him."

VI

They stumble into her apartment, Sydney bearing most of Elliot's weight, her bearing the rest. He helps him onto Olivia's couch then stands and tries to catch his breath.

"Thanks for helping me with him," she pants.

"No problem. See you in the morning?

"Yea, just do me a favor and let the Cap know I'm going to be a little late."

"When are you not late?"

"Shut up."

"Alright, I'm gone."

"Bye," she closes the door behind Sydney then turns her attention back to Elliot.

"Stay here!" she says to him then goes to find her nanny. Rosalia was a newly immigrated mother of 7 from the Dominican Republic with no references and more experience than all of the other candidates that she and Casey had spent a week interviewing combined. She's affordable and loving. She's kind and treats Olivia like one of her own. She cooks, cleans, and does laundry all without Olivia asking and is amazing with her children. Olivia couldn't ask for a better nanny. An added bonus was that with Rosalia-Rosa for short- her children would be bilingual by the time they were two. But mostly, she's affordable.

She finds her tucking in her son and communicates with her in her native tongue. "Hola! Cómo fueron los niños de hoy?"

"Oh muy bien, y tu?"

"Not so good, but I'm glad to be home."

"Ok, well I go now. I make you dinner and put in la frigeradora. Ok?"

"Ok. Will you be ok getting home?"

"Oh sure. It's only the next building over."

Another bonus.

Olivia follows her out of the nursery and into the living room. "Ok. Call me and let me know you got home safely, and I'm going in to work late, so I don't think I'm going to need you tomorrow until about 9."

"Ok. Goodnight Ms. Olivia."

"Goodnight Rosa."

Olivia closes and locks the door behind her then turns her attention to the drunk on her couch.

"Look, you can sleep this off tonight, but tomorrow morning you need to go." She heads towards her bedroom, then turns and says one more thing to him. "And don't you dare touch my kids."

He listens as she walks away and her bedroom door closes. A few minutes later the phone rings and a couple minutes later her shower starts. He smiles. It isn't exactly the way he wanted to get in, but he's here. He knows that old habits die hard, especially when it came to her, and that if he needed her, she would still be there for him. His children are only a few feet away, rather than hundreds of miles. He still needs to work on her, he knows that, but at least this way he's one step closer.

VI

The next morning he wakes up to the worse headache of his life. He squints at the sunlight pouring in through her windows and takes in his unfamiliar surroundings.

"Hurts huh?"

He looks over and sees her sitting in a love seat. "You have no idea."

"There's a cup of tea right there and some Tylenol. I'm still nursing so I don't really have any coffee here."

"Thanks."

"You need to go. You can't stay here."

"Just cut to the chase don't you?"

"You've never known me to beat around the bush."

"That's true. Look Olivia, if we could just talk-"

"I don't want to talk."

"Why? You know, they're my kids too. I deserve to be a part of their lives."

"You deserve my foot kicking your ass out the door. I loaned you my couch for one night, and now it's time for you to go."

"I'll get a lawyer. I'll sue for custody."

"Do it," she says evenly and stares at him without an ounce of fear in her eyes.

He sighs, knowing threatening her isn't the way to go. "I just want a chance to get to know them. I know you hate me, but don't punish them too by keeping me away from them. You know I'll be a great father to them."

"Everything I thought I knew about you got thrown out the door after that weekend. I'm going to go get ready. Stay away from my children."

He's gone by the time she comes out again. The blanket she'd thrown over his sleeping form the night before has been carefully folded and rests on her couch. The tea and Tylenol remain in their place.

Untouched.

VI

He bangs on her door at midnight the next night and she swings it open with furry. He stares at her with bleary bloodshot eyes and she pities him.

"Please," he rasps and Sydney's words echo in her head.

What are you going to tell your children when they ask about their father?

She sighs in defeat. "The couch pulls out," she says.

She takes a step back and allows him in. He drags his duffle bag in behind him.

Thanks for reading, and if everything works out the next chapter should be coming sometime next week. Now it's back to me studying for my Physics test that I'm going to fail anyway. Can someone please stab me in the eye with a pencil so I don't have to do this anymore? Thanks!