Chapter Seven - Lost Josh∞

Valentin peered over my shoulder while I was drawing and exclaimed "Oh God, thats really good."

"My hands still hurt from being chained to a table. And it isn't that good."

"Yes! It is! What other sketches have you made?"

I sighed and opened my folder, showing the three of the five drawings I made: one of them at Josh's home and the other'm still making.

Valentin held up the one of the wild woods beyond District Five and compared the real scene from the sketch. "This is like an identical black and white picture."

"You have to be joking."

"Do I looked like I'm joking?" I opened my mouth to answer but she cut me off. "I'm not joking. See, I am not joking. When I see things with my eyes, whatever observation comes out my mouth is the truth because my eyes are sharp and truthful."

Musin wondered into the room and remarked "This is what we deal with at home. But we brought our home to your home."

The lockdown has been up for two days. The only alerts were one of District Two siding with One and Seven for us, and Kyro Wednt's trail went cold yesterday. Since then, we've stuck inside, trying to survive with the mix of two whole families without the men around, food only found in our home to share, and going fast. The Synas tried leaving, first asking the Peacekeepers politely, then tried to dash out. As a result, our front door has a lot of scratches and bullet holes in it.

"Hey you two, TV alert," Musin added. He pulled the stunned Valentin out and I followed. Eventually the ten of us had our eyes glued to the television.

The notice shocked us all. And it wasn't for the first thing.

"Districts One and Five will have to send their children back to public schools for eight hours, only difference is that Saturdays and Sundays will still have school, if necessary for the lockdown," President Snow reported. "It has been decided that the offer is deniable-"

"Yes!" cheered Quentin, Dalin, Palin, and Farin.

"By the parents-"

The eight-year-old glowed pleading eyes at Mrs. Syna, who shook her head.

"But consider that food will be offered and permitted to be sent home. In District One, the food has been given by District Two. In District Five, the food has been given by District Seven."

"So District Two did side with them," I remarked. I hadn't believed it at first.

Amy nodded. Since I had said I was going to support any fights against District One, she hadn't spoken, especially around me. She dared to looked at me with sad eyes a few times. I knew I had plunged myself back into Amy's silent treatment. I would've told her, and everyone else, I only did it to protect them and the country, to make sure nothing bad went wrong. Of course, if I did, everything President Snow promised "good" would be immediately turned to the worst situation ever to be stuck in within the history of the world. I had a feeling he had eyes watching my every movement, my every move, to make sure I played a pawn in his plan.

In retrospect, I was about as silent as Amy in terms of the battle.

"Tomorrow, Peacekeepers will call the teachers at 5:30 pm to prepare, then the students by age groups at 6am starting with the oldest first. They will return at 2pm," President Snow explained "Think wisely about sending your children, but they will be in safe hands. If you already are running short of food, this may be your one last chance. Remember, do not send them with anything but their textbooks and writing utensils in a backpack. Have them stand on the front step, no where else, after each age group is called, until Peacekeepers retrieve them."

My mom and Mrs. Syna exchanged a glance. Obviously they were gonna send us to school. I'm sure without the offer of food they wouldn't send us anywhere.

"But it is a possibility of getting out the house," Mrs. Syna said. "I think my kids will be able to get back to our home. It would be easier for them and you and your daughters with the lack of food. I'm sure my husband is hogging all of ours back at home."

"Well, I have to admit it will be easier," my mom said. "If the Peacekeepers will allow it."

"Mom! No!" squealed Palin.

"I hate the schools!" Farin shouted.

"One, it is school not schools," Mrs. Syna hushed."And second, because of that, Farin, you all will be going."

The Syna boys glared at the young child. Me and Valine covered our mouths to laugh at his adorable, apologetic expression. I stopped laughing right away at the sudden thought. I realized President Snow was thanking me in some way through this. Allowing provisions to be restocked in District Five's shelves when food was low just because I'm forced to be supporting the battles, if District One does come to attack in revenge. Or maybe this was planned all along, school to torture us.

I don't know.

"Ages eighteen and seventeen."

My fingers fumbled in nervousness.

"They're going by twos," Valentin gasped, already thrashing to get herself together. Since she hardly had anything to take with her, she only had a pillow case backpack and two pencils. After shoving on two pairs of coats and her shoes, Valentin looked out the door, saw the Peacekeepers departing the Village with one boy, and stood on the front steps.

After ten minutes, Peacekeepers called for sixteen- and fifteen-year-olds. Two approached Valentin. Everyone else watching through the windows tensed, expecting the Peacekeepers to be harsh on her. They weren't, escorting her down the steps calmly but with a bit of urgency in it. The rest of them wrapped around her and marched her away, like they had when I was brought back to my home.

I took a deep breath. I was already set to go. I pat my pocket to make sure I still had the piece of paper I planned to take, hugged my mom and Amy - who resisted, and stepped out the door.

Cold air hit my face straightaway. It was still dark but the sun was forcing its way past sunrise. I scanned the street, finding myself not the only one out here. Another girl with dark skin and a boyish hair cut was standing next door, observing at me with nervousness in her eyes. She quickly looked away, inching actually farther from me. I prepared myself for more of this at school. People being afraid of me.

Finally a couple dozen Peacekeepers marched into the Victors' Village. Four emerged from the group, then split into two, heading to each of us. I watched the girl be lead away gently, but I felt the Peacekeepers shove me down the steps.

"Don't be a drag, McLee," one growled in my ear. "We're watching you."

I nodded, not looking up. As I was herded away, I felt a nudge on my shoulder. I looked and saw the dark-skinned girl greet, "Hi, I'm Marionette."

I caught the eye of one of Peacekeepers, and shut up before even opening my mouth.

Expecting the Peacekeepers to take us directly to school, I was surprised to find them going door to door, picking up any student that was there. When we were by Lea's house, it was already a bit packed.

Lea didn't wait for the Peacekeepers. She ran into the bunch of us and shoved her way to me. "I'm so scared."

I tried to squeeze her thumb, but she pushed it away. That made me look around. Anyone daring to look at me had fearful stares. Even Lea had a scene of uncertainty on her face.

"What did I do?" I whispered to myself.

The rest of the way was silence except for the feet hitting the stone ground. The power lines swung overhead in the frosty breeze. Once at the school, we were dispersed in the hallways and told we were expected to be in class by 6:50.

My eyes scanned the hallway clocks, seeing the time was 6:30. Twenty minutes. Not a lot of time, but I knew where Josh's locker was.

"I need to go," I whispered to Lea. I was anxious, even here. There were more Peacekeepers aligned at school, watching us with their guns and batons. Quite a few of them were keeping an interest on me. Once I had departed from the friend, I felt it was wrong to scour the hallways alone with so many eyes on me. Pretending to ignore them, I strutted on, my legs quivering.

Finally I saw him.

"Josh!" I called, dashing to him.

His blue eyes looked at me from his locker. He immediately shut the door and ran.

"Come back!"

He was faster than me and gone within the sea of students. I stood by his locker, trying to ignore the stares again. But something in my brain snapped and a parade of flashbacks covered my vision, the blank and uneasy stares of my peers mixing in with the agony.

"No, no, no…"

I began screaming again, my knees bucking under my feet. I crumbled under the floor, screaming my voice hoarse. Terrors swept in the school like storms, people unsure what to do.

I heard a voice shouting. It wasn't mine.

"Alanna! Alanna please!"

It was Josh.

"Alanna! Please, snap out of it!"

I hardly saw him. His hands wiped the tears from my eyes but more came. His blue eyes looked at me with a pleading look. His mouth forming my name constantly after every breath.

"Alanna!"

I stopped crying, only whimpering, the visions fading away. I felt his hug and heard his murmurs "It's okay, it's okay. It isn't real."

"Yes it is," I moaned. "The Games. They were real. They started it all."

Josh helped me stand. "Let's get you to the nurse's office," he said, leading me through the parting crowd. I barely noticed it.

I wasn't the same after that.

"We'll have to put her in victor's therapy."

"What's that?"

"A kind of treatment for stricken victors of Hunger Games, like Alanna here. They came up with it in the Capitol and gave us info on it before the lockdown. The Capitolites said she may have needed it, but we really don't have anyone else who can. We don't have enough money for a Capitol doctor to be sent here and no one in the District can help with Alanna's problem."

Silence. My eyes looked up at the two discussing women: my mom, who Peacekeepers escorted here when I was hit with flashbacks, and the school's nurse. I was lying in a cot in a bright room, Josh holding my hand and wiping away the occasional tear.

"My daughter was fine for a while," my mom said, her voice wavering. "But if she really needs it-"

"She must. I recall hearing about the first one, then the following ones. I may not be a professional doctor, but I know each attack is getting worse for her, and soon so unbearable… well. Adding to that the stress of the battle, lockdown, and her fellow friends-"

Me and Josh made eye contact.

"-there is no denying what she has to get calm about."

"Who said Alanna has to get some professional therapist?" Josh questioned, standing up. "Maybe we need to get her friends and family into a chat."

"Stop acting like I'm not here," I said in a hardly-audible voice. "Josh, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you getting better, for crying out loud! Do you know how much I really care for you? I don't want to loose you to the Games like Wade, even if they are over. I don't want to see you hurting anymore, alright?" Josh scowled at the floor and stalked out the office.

Sighing, I looked to the ground. I guess I really don't have to try hard to reconnect with Josh. We both lost our brothers to the Games. Is that all it takes? Have something in common? No, Josh really cares for me, and he didn't show it much before he kissed me in the street. I need to show it back.

"I think I can go now," I said, getting up. Before the two women could respond, I dashed out. I caught up with Josh, telling him "Are you okay?"

"I should be asking you that," he answered. "You're still crying."

"Just some tears wanting to flow," I countered, rubbing my fingers in my eyes. "Josh, do you really care for me?"

He didn't answer. Taking this opportune time, I pulled out my pocket the recent drawing I made. Me, Josh, and Wade, holding hands and smiling as if posing for a camera.

"I don't want it, if that's what you are ready to ask me," Josh snapped.

"Why?"

"Because… I can't handle… it."

"Handle what?"

"You and your act! You trying to make me feel better about loosing Wade!"

"That wasn't the point, Josh! I want to you know I'll be there for you if you need it."

He shook his head. "I don't need you."

"Yes, you do! I need you! We need each other. We both lost our brothers. Remember when Aaron died, and you were there for me when I was upset? Well, here I am returning the favor now that Wade's dead. I know you're still grieving for him, and if you never will stop, and be my guest. I only wanted things normal when I went home, not sucked into this battle and lockdowns and such!" Tears were coming back in my eyes, and coming to his. "Josh, I love you and I only want you back as my friend."

Josh sat on my floor, sighing. I sat next to him, ignoring Peacekeepers telling us to get up.

"How… how did you do it?" Josh asked me.

"Do what?"

"Get over Aaron's death?"

I closed my eyes, trying to think. "I knew Aaron was gone. At first, I cried a lot. Then I was mad at him. At him for leaving me. But I realized he isn't gone." I tapped my necklace. "He's still with me. This necklace shows we're still connected with love, that we're still family, and nothing can break that." I looked at Josh. "Subsequently, I had to get used to life without him. Now that I'm thinking about it, I miss my brother a lot. But at least he isn't here suffering consequences of others."

Josh set his arm around me. "Without Wade, I feel like I'm just wandering aimlessly through everything. When I'm reminded of him, I feel only lost and alone."

"But you aren't alone," I replied. "I realized that too. We'll find you closure to your sadness, Josh Loonson. And if you do feel lost, remember I'm happy to lead you back on the right path."

Love that if you'd review or share the story. I feel I'm having a bit of a hard time trying to get the events put and written together, yet again I write better if there's action, which there isn't a lot of right now. But I promise, it'll get better.