A/N: I put warnings at the start of this story but I'll add them here, too. Substance use. Multiple pairings. I know people know I'm just trying to make sure you know.

I don't condone substance use. It ruins lives. I am, however, sickly fascinated.

Lonely souls, they love the pain

Tattoos, the good ones, had a story to tell. Everything from anniversaries to births to deaths to phobia homages. Dreams. Nightmares. Laughs and cartoons, childhood favourites. Natsu had seen some good ones and some bad ones and some in between that didn't mean anything. Generic butterflies and shakily-drawn crosses for people that had never, in all their lives, sat in a church.

His dad had one like that, and around it was his and Zeref's names. Natsu had loved that awful tattoo when he was small, and even into his teenage years, not because of what it was, but what it represented: a time when their family had been whole.

He thought of that distantly now as he watched Ultear lean over Brandish and stencil in chain marks over her chest.

He didn't think it was sanitary but Ultear said that she'd done it before and pulled up her skirt to show him the rudimentary clock she'd inked into her leg. Her artistry skills could use some work, but her hand was steady enough and by the third chain link, Natsu admitted that it looked kind of good.

He slouched back on Erik's couch. He'd slept there for four days after his run-in with Lucy's cousin and had placated Zeref's incessant phoning with brief conversations here and there. He never talked for more than a few minutes; it felt weird talking to him when he was slurring his words and Zeref was giving him Adulting advice like wear a condom and make sure you have consent.

He'd denied his intentions once; Zeref was sure to call him out on the lie saying simply, "I know Ultear."

That was sobering enough that Natsu thought about gathering his things and just going home. It was weird. The whole fucking thing was weird. Ultear had been fucking Zeref or wanting to fuck Zeref for as long as Natsu could recall. It didn't escape his notice, either, that she either turned out the lights or closed her eyes.

Then he'd have a couple of beers and get to a place where he found he didn't actually care.

"Alcohol?" Ultear prodded.

Natsu soaked a rag with vodka and handed it to her. She swiped it over Brandish's collarbones. She was done with that part. Brandish took off her sweater and shoved down her tank top without having to be asked, and she was suddenly bare.

Natsu watched Ultear continue to work and Brandish watched him. There was a faint smile on her mouth and her eyes were glossy with something other than alcohol. "Are you watching me?"

He lifted his shoulder in a shrug and Brandish's smile grew.

"Does it get you hot?"

Natsu didn't know what to say. "It's okay."

Ultear was still very much focused on looping the chain around Brandish's breast but she grinned.

"Have you never had two girls before?"

"I don't think Natsu's done much before," Ultear said.

"That's not true."

"Alright. Not much fun," she corrected.

"You were singing a different tune last night," Natsu said boldly. Erik cackled from the kitchen and made a lewd noise reminiscent of one of Ultear's.

"Ow," Brandish hissed when Ultear went too deep with the needle.

"Sorry."

Natsu automatically reached for the bottle of vodka he'd bought with the last of his cash and wetted more napkins. Ultear took them from his hands huffily and muttered, "Nothing like a little discretion."

"You were on my couch," Erik chimed in again. "Kinda hard to be discrete."

Ultear didn't look very embarrassed.

"I'm bored," Brandish said.

"I'm almost done." Ultear moved to the next side and started there. Brandish turned her head again against the brown and white flowered couch and stared at Natsu. Her short green hair staticed to the fabric.

"Do you like boys?"

"What?"

"I used to date a guy that liked to get fucked while I sucked his dick. I could do that for you, too, if you wanted."

"No," Natsu said. "No, thanks."

"You haven't even tried it."

"I don't have to," he responded. "I already know."

"What do you like, then?"

She was really forward and he didn't know how to handle it.

"You like this, obviously." She grabbed her breasts and squished them together.

"Stop moving; I'm trying to fucking work," Ultear said. "Do you want an infection because I pressed too hard?"

Her words meant nothing to Brandish. "You haven't stopped staring."

Natsu made a conscious effort to look at her eyes. Her hands, though, they grabbed his attention, moving between her and Ultear and stroking between her own legs. She was in tights and they didn't hide very much.

"You're fucking me up," Ultear said.

"The point is to fuck him up."

Then she was succeeding. He was cautiously hard. Girls like Brandish looked like trouble.

She reached over and dragged her hand up his leg, stopping at his cock head. Her fingers moved in slow, even strokes. "Do you like that?"

"Sure." But it took a moment of clearing his head and meeting Brandish's unwavering and sure expression for him to relax any. And then Erik and whoever it was he had in the kitchen laughed loudly and Natsu jumped.

Brandish laughed meanly. Could be, she was even more merciless than Ultear. Was that possible?

"What about this?" Brandish cupped Ultear's cheeks and brought her up for a long and slow kiss. Eventually, Ultear reached behind herself and dropped her needle and pen ink back on the coffee table, and when she was unencumbered, she applied herself more thoroughly, putting her hands in Brandish's hair and gyrating her hips in ways that Natsu knew were mind-numbing.

He was back to looking too long while Ultear gathered up Brandish's heavy breasts and squeezed, and Brandish was back to catching him. She turned her head and asked Natsu, "Well?" Her lips were swollen and pink.

"It's alright," Natsu said again.

Brandish grinned. "Take your cock out."

"Here?"

"Yeah."

There was still laughing from the kitchen. Natsu shook his head. "You want to go out?"

"No. It's cold out," she replied.

He settled deeper into the couch, determined not to make a fool out of himself but also not willing to move.

Brandish mused, "He's shy."

"He's just not like the other asshole you used to bring around."

Ultear sat up and took off her shirt. She'd returned home and changed a couple of times since his first night at Erik's but Natsu still recognized this bra. It was nice, like all of Ultear's things. There was no second-hand for her, nothing threadbare. He didn't understand how she ended up in a place like Erik's, or at his own apartment, in fact, when it was still a place her and people like her were welcomed, it didn't really seem like her crowd, but she always managed to find herself in these places and fit in well, like a chameleon.

Ultear inched down and licked Brandish's tightened nipples. They were Ultear's opposites, large and a darker shade of pink. After Natsu made that comparison, he tried hard not to make another with another girl he used to know.

Brandish leaned back against the couch languidly and got a purple glass pipe from her purse. It was ridged and the bowl was stained dark brown. She lit the bottom of the bowl and thick grey and pungent smelling smoke wafted out until she sucked on the end and breathed it in.

For all the drugs that had come through his house, Natsu didn't recognize this one.

"Black Pearl," Brandish explained on her exhale. Ultear took her mouth away from her skin to take a hit of her own. It came Natsu's way. He had questions. None of them felt important enough to invite more of Brandish's mean laughter.

He took the pipe and inhaled and almost died. The smoke clogged his throat and coiled in his lungs, as bad tasting as it had been smelling.

"I told you not to smoke that shit in here," came Erik's voice.

"Relax," Brandish said.

"No, put it out or get out." He disappeared.

Brandish took the pipe from Natsu and said, "That's enough, anyway."

Yes. Natsu's head was whirling and he was hyper-aware. For the first time in weeks, everything seemed easier.

Ultear had sunken so far down that she was on her knees between Brandish's legs and kissing her through her tights. Brandish moaned and Natsu's already whirling head whirled harder. He gripped the couch because he felt like he was going to fall off the world.

"Are you okay?" Brandish asked.

"I think so." If he breathed slowly.

She touched his leg and it helped him focus. He felt her fingers very acutely, inching up, touching his dick again and he got harder than he had before. Her thumb rolled back and forth over the head and he closed his eyes. Erik's house fell away, the people in the kitchen, all he had was heavy breathing and skilled fingers and Brandish's uneven voice telling him, "Take your cock out."

Natsu lifted his head and opened his eyes—a feat that seemed somehow both impossible and completely simple. Brandish was laying across the cushions, her head by his hips, still clothed from the waist down. Ultear's hand was inside the band of her pants and her fingers were swirling slowly and steadily.

"Natsu?" Brandish lifted her face and looked at him through a curtain of light green hair. "Take your cock out."

His fingers were almost too dexterous, working too quickly to get his pants undone. Once he'd managed, Brandish inched up and put a kiss on the shaft. He felt every nuance of her lips, her tongue.

Ultear sidled over. Her hair brushed Natsu's middle when she got on her knees, tickling, and her lips joined Brandish's. The pleasure increased double-fold. He closed his eyes and rode out the high, ignoring everything but this.

He came in someone's mouth, he couldn't say whose, though, that would involve opening his eyes and that was something that no longer seemed plausible because he was no longer in a place where every sensation was intensified. Now, everything was slower, his breathing, his heart, the knocking on the door, whosever hands that were grabbing his boxers and pulling them up over his cock. Slow motion. So, so far away.

"He's there," said Erik.

"Thanks. And thanks for calling."

Natsu couldn't determine why his brother was there.

"Hey, Zeref." Ultear sounded a little bit sheepish, a little bit haughty. Did she expect him to get mad and explode? Natsu wished he could tell her that Zeref's anger was a slow build and delivered on a cool front. He was the opposite of their father in that way; Natsu had gotten all of the hot-headedness.

"Move, please."

The body that had been keeping Natsu warm stirred. That was when the chills started, a quivering in his muscles that grew the more the seconds passed. Zeref muttered under his breath something that was likely a swear. Natsu felt his cheek get tapped.

"Mmhm."

"We're going home. Come on."

It took Zeref putting his arm around Natsu's back and pulling him up for Natsu to find the will to move.

"Hold up your pants."

Just like when they were kids, Natsu did what he was told. Through cracked eyelids, he watched Erik's floor move beneath his feet. Zeref was still in his boots; there were bits of slushy snow on the parquet flooring now.

"Here." Erik suddenly appeared in Natsu's line of sight, kneeling as he went through the shoes by the front door and came out with Natsu's battered work boots. He said something that made a laugh Natsu didn't recognize billow behind him. There were people watching. The people from the kitchen. Natsu bent and put his boots on himself, mostly. Zeref grabbed the back of his shirt to help him keep balance.

Erik stood and handed him a coat. It could have been anyone's and Natsu would have put it on. Then he held open the door and cold air rushed into the house, clearing some of the fog in Natsu's brain. The Dakota was sitting in the driveway, running.

The trek from the front door to the Dakota went by in a blur. Zeref put him in the passenger's seat and even undid the window. Natsu tried to do it back up when they were rolling. Zeref reached across the seats and swatted his hands away.

"You'll want it down."

"It's cold."

"Well, I'll want it down."

Music was playing. Natsu recognized Iron Maiden. Guitar riffs rolled over him. They made him want to shiver, too. He tucked into his coat more. It smelled like pot and cigarette smoke and greasy food. His stomach roiled. He lifted his head out and sucked in a breath of cold, fresh air. Its effects were minimal. Zeref pushed on his shoulder and pointed his head towards the window and Natsu understood.

Until he woke up on it in only a pair of boxers, Natsu never thought much about their bathroom floor. He shaved and he swept it and that was about all. As sunlight came in through the small square window over the bathtub, he thought he might change that routine. Wash the floor once a week or something. Scrub the side of the toilet so the condensation didn't grab hair and fluff and keep it there. Put in a mat beside the toilet so if he made a habit out of this, he wasn't waking up with skin the same temperature as the cracked tile floor.

Turning his head brought into focus a peculiar sight. Blankets in the bathtub, and from those blankets was a shrilling alarm. He sat up slowly because the room spun and identified Zeref. His legs were out straight and his back was against the backsplash, a phone in his hand.

The alarm silenced.

"Why are you in the bathtub?"

"I do that sometimes; didn't you know?" Zeref employed a healthy amount of sarcasm. It was too much so soon into consciousness.

"Haha."

"Could be true, you haven't been home for almost a week." He cracked his neck loudly and stood.

"Could you put on some coffee?" Natsu asked hopefully.

"Do it yourself. I have to go to work."

"So early?"

"I'm walking."

"What's wrong with the Dakota?"

"You need to clean it. Interior and exterior. I left soap and a bucket out for you last night. It's by the front door."

Natsu sighed and rested his head on his bicep. He didn't stay there for very long; Zeref came over and kicked him aside. His intentions became clear and Natsu got the hell out of the way. He felt foggier standing. He put his arm against the wall and rested his head against it while Zeref pissed.

Zeref dropped the lid of the toilet and flushed it. "Rough, eh?"

"Mmhm."

He made sure to tell Natsu, "It's not because it was your first time. You might not be puking every time, but it'll get worse and worse. You'll either end up ODing or selling all of our shit just to get your next fix."

"Mmhm," Natsu said again.

Zeref grabbed his arm and turned him around so they were face-to-face. They weren't eye-to-eye, though. Natsu didn't remember gaining that extra inch on his brother. "We don't fuck with heroin. Right?"

Natsu nodded. It wasn't good enough for Zeref. "Tell me."

"We don't fuck with heroin," Natsu repeated. Was that brief moment of ecstasy really worth the comedown?

If he didn't think about how that ecstasy felt, he could say no.

I am a slutty angst machine.