I had no idea it was going to go this way...thanks DCJ! Just keep making those Poppycocks! (Seriously though, you have to tell me what those are, cuz I have no idea.)
Please let me know what you think, like it, hate it? All reviews are welcome! :)
Also we're changing this rating to 'M'.
They entered her apartment. Both cold and wet with snow, Andy excused herself to find Sam something to wear. Luckily she already had started Christmas shopping and she had a pair of blue and black checkered pajamas and socks that she set aside for her father. She opened up the packages and gave Sam the pajama bottoms and dry socks to wear. This way he could hang his pants and socks over the radiator to dry.
She'd let him change in her bathroom. She struggled with what to put on, jogging pants didn't seem to fit the mood she was in. She went for a pair of lounger knit pants that she knew fit tight across her bottom and a sweat shirt that had shrunk from so many washes that it barely went past her waist.
He walked out, Sam standing there in pajama bottoms was a sight. She giggled at him. "I don't care," he said. "at least they are dry." Her Dad was somewhat bigger than Sam so the bottoms sagged a bit.
"You want to watch TV while I get dinner started?" she asked.
"No, you worked as hard as I did today, let's just work together and get it done."
She thought that was so sweet. She smiled at him and began to walk towards the kitchen. They decided Sam would reheat the meatballs and sauce and boil the spaghetti. Andy would cut up everything for the salad and make the garlic bread. Working together dinner was ready in no time. Andy was surprised that he seemed to know his way around a kitchen and remarked on it.
"It was learn or starve. Living alone sometimes isn't all that great. I end up eating the same thing all week because I made too much. So thank you for this Andy." He said.
"Sure…no problem…eh…anytime." She stammered surprised by his confession. You don't have to be alone, she thought. He could be here every night with her and she wouldn't mind.
Her thoughts were becoming more of the day dreamy quality. She thought about him in her bed every night or even in his. She had been there once, she now regretted more than ever stopping that night when the lights came on. She wasn't lying when she told Traci that was the best mistake of her life but leaving was the worst mistake of her life. Now she'd lie in bed at night recalling that night wishing she'd done everything different.
"What are you daydreaming about now?" He asked.
She didn't stop to think, she just said, "That night of the blackout, I'm so sorry I left." She didn't turn or look at him; she just stared straight ahead.
"Oh god, Andy, just leave it alone." He begged.
"No you need to understand how..."
"Damn it, I know you're sorry! Just drop it already! I don't know what sort of thing you're going through right now…but damn it! Jesus, Andy what do you want from me? Forgiveness? Fine your forgiven, okay? Stop saying you're sorry…that's all you've said for the past few days and I don't want to hear it any more, got it?"
She heard him rustling around preparing to leave; she turned. "Sam don't go, please stay and eat dinner. I shouldn't have said anything, just stay and eat, please?"
He had walked to the radiator and stopped, "That night was my fault too." He said quietly. "I should have known better, I was your T.O. and you weren't in the right frame of mind. I took advantage of that. I lost control then and after that with Luke and on the trip to Sudbury. I don't want to feel like that ever again."
"Then why won't you let me explain? There is so much I want to say to…" He shook his head as he interrupted. "Andy I spent a lot of time putting things back into perspective after that. I am content with the way things are."
His heart and his body screamed 'liar' at him but he continued. "We are partners, we cannot be anything else."
It occurred to her what was really going on with him. "So we can't be together because you're afraid?"
He turned to her, "What?" he said incredulous.
"You're afraid of me Sam Swarek, your perspective is bullshit! You are lying."
"What are you…"
"No! I've had it with you and this bullshit. Damn you, I want you and I know you want me too." She walked up to him. "I'm scared too, but at least I admit it. At least I admit I feel something."
He moved quickly, her back was against the wall and his mouth was on hers. He kissed her so hard, trying to punish her for making him this way. She didn't care, she responded back.
He pushed his leg into between hers, when he nudged her legs apart he reached down and pulled her thighs up around his hips. She crossed her ankles behind his back to hold on, her arms were wrapped around his shoulders.
His tongue dove into her mouth, insistent trying his best to master her, make her suffer like he suffered. She wouldn't let him, she was ready to meet him move for move. She moved her hand through his hair pulling his head closer, he pressed her harder against the wall.
He finally pulled away from her mouth, they both were gasping for air. "Oh I feel something Andy, do you feel what you do to me? Is this really what you want; a one night stand and then what?"
Rage shot through her a one-night stand? She uncrossed her ankles and put her legs down catching him off guard as she pushed him away. "You bastard! I'm going into the bathroom and when I come out I want you gone!"
His shock quickly turned to anger as she stalked past him. "No problem!" he said.
Andy reached the bathroom and slammed the door. She sat down on the rim of her bathtub and waited. She heard him moving around and then she heard her front door slam shut. She burst into tears.
She got up and walked back into her living room, alone she crawled into the couch and cried until she fell asleep. She woke some time during the middle of the night, all the food was still there waiting to be eaten. She threw everything in the trash and crawled into her bed.
He had hurt her so badly when he said it would be a one-night stand. Didn't he get it? She wanted it all. The good, the bad, everything, everyday. What the hell did he think she had been doing? Making cupcakes and freaking meatballs? Trying her best not to bring anything personal on to the job for a one-night stand? Was he crazy? Who would work that hard for a fling?
She thought that she had cried all the tears she had, she was wrong. By time she fell asleep again her face was soaked with tears.
She woke with a throbbing headache, her home phone was ringing, the shrill sound shooting through her head. She answered it quickly to make it stop. "He..llo?" she said.
"Get up, I'll be there in 45 minutes to take you into work." Was all she heard before the line was disconnected.
She got right out of bed, looking everywhere at once. She felt like she had a hangover, she stomped into the bathroom and then quickly turned back around and grabbed her cordless phone, dialing a number she knew all too well.
The line rang and rang. That bastard won't pick up because he knows I'll tell him to drop dead! She took some aspirin, catching a glance at herself in the mirror when she closed the bathroom cabinet. Oh god I look like hell! She had dark circles under her eyes and her eyelids were puffy. She made a note to get some ice for her eyes after she got out of the shower.
She tried him again, no answer. She hurried as fast as she could, she'd walk in whatever snow was out there and get to the bus stop before he got here. She was ready, well at least she was showered and dressed in twenty minutes. She still felt dizzy as she slammed her apartment door and walked down the stairs to the first floor.
Son of a bitch if that bastard wasn't already sitting there outside her apartment building door. Too bad she thought as she looked away and started to walk up the street. She didn't get more than ten steps before she felt her arm being grabbed. He turned her so fast that they knocked into each other, he had to take a step back to keep from falling.
He saw her face and said, "Oh my god Andy, lets go." He started tugging her towards his truck. She tried to dig her feet in but he just pulled harder. He walked her to the passenger side door opened it and ordered her to get in. She just stood there, Sam bent down and scooped her up.
"Put me down!" she said as he not so gently put her into the seat.
"Don't you move!" he ordered slamming the door and walking around to the other side.
He got in and started the truck but didn't pull out. He looked at her, "Jesus Andy what happened to your face? Were you crying?"
"What? You're surprised? What the hell is wrong with you?" She reached for the door handle, she grabbed her other arm.
"Don't do it, I mean it Andy, we'll spend all morning putting you back in. Just stay in the truck."
She turned to him, "I have never hated someone so much in my life as I hate you right now Sam. Please just let me out of here." She begged, she needed to get away from him before she made a further fool of herself.
"Andy please just stay, I'm so sorry, please just stay, okay?" he sounded so regretful.
What she didn't realize then and neither did he, was that he broke her heart last night.
"I want us to talk after work today." he said.
She looked at him as if he was crazy. They both knew today she would be on desk duty, it was her time in the rotation. Sam was only on desk duty two times a month. Andy being a rookie was assigned at least six times per month. Sam would be working with someone else today.
"No." she said.
"I'm sorry..."
"I don't want to hear those words either." she said interupting.
"Listen to me," his voice was becoming elevated. "we need to talk. Please wait for me after work today, we can't leave things this way and we don't have time to talk now. Just wait for me, okay?"
She just wanted to get to work and get away from him. She nodded.
Sam pulled the truck out into traffic and drove them to the station.