Waiting

Abby

I sit there, reading to him, though I'm not focusing on the words. In my head my mind wanders over the last 3 weeks. Had it really been 3 weeks since Tim was hit? Since Tim had slipped into a coma? Since Tim had lost his family? It feels like a year. I've stayed with him as much as I could, but even I'm starting to give up hope. All this time and he hasn't woken up. Hasn't change coma grade. Hasn't even moved. And I'm the only one who believes in him...no. Gibbs believes that he will wake up; I can see it in his eyes, eyes that burn with fierce loyalty to the broken body on the bed, but even he has stopped visiting as much. Tony and Ziva don't come at all now. They have given up. I give Burt a squeeze. I won't give up, even after what Ducky had said.

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I'm sitting alone with Timmy, clutching his hand, talking to him when I hear the door behind me open. I glance round and see Ducky entering with a sad frown on his face. I look at him as he walks over and sits beside me.

"Hey, Duck-man" I say with a sigh, and a small smile.

"Hello, Abigail my dear."

"He's going to make it, Duck. He's got too. Like you said he's strong. He will make it. He'll make it because I need him, because he doesn't want to die, because if he does Gibbs will kill hi..." and I laugh. I laugh that my best friend is in hospital, possibly dying. I laugh at the thought of Gibbs trying to kill an already dead McGee. I laugh hysterically until I cry. I cry for my loss, I cry because it's my fault, I cry because I know why ducky is here.

"Abby..." I feel an arm around my shoulders. I like the warmth it gives. I calm down a bit. "...Abs..." I stop crying and look at him. "...it's been 10 days Abs...I think you need to start thinking that maybe he will never wake up..."

I look at him shocked. If it wasn't Ducky I would have hit him. "No Duck. He's going to make it, he is, he is, he is, he is!" I know he will wake up; he just needs us to wait for him. I refuse to look at Ducky.

He tries again. "Abby, he has remained at grade 3 since he got here. His charts show limited brain function, not really registering pain. I think that maybe it is time to think about a long term solution for Timothy..."

"NO!" I shout as I launch myself to my feet. I look at Ducky with fury in my eyes. "No, I will not give up on him!"

"That's not what I said Abs..." he looks at me sadly as he too stands. "Just think about it, ok..." I stare him down in silence. I don't move until he sighs once more and walks away.

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I know why they don't visit anymore. They had grieved for him, at their funerals. They had said their goodbyes to the man they once knew. They tried to move on, and to do that they avoided the hospital, avoided having to see him. Gibbs still held his space on the team, but I wonder how long until Vance forces him to fill it again.

I hear the door open, and look at my watch. 11 o'clock. It was time again. Every other day, at 11, the neurologist would evaluate Tim. I stand and walk to the back of the room. I know what is going to happen. I know it off by heart...

"Hello Tim, it's me again, Dr. Freeh. Ok Tim, can you open your eyes for me?"..."Can you wiggle your toes for me Tim?"..."It's ok Tim... Tim I'm going to have to cause you some pain now..." he takes out some instruments and starts prodding Tim. I silently wish for Tim to respond because I hate the next test. Nothing. Here it comes. The sternum rub. I hold my breath. Tim groans. I run to his side, fear and excitement pumping adrenaline through my veins. He had responded. He had just changed grades.

"Come on Tim. You can do this. Come back to me, I need you. I need you, please Timmy, come back...". I'm not aware of the tears running down my face. I stroke his head, and notice his lips move. Even with the tube I can see what he is saying...

"Abby..." I squeal and look at the doctor, expecting to see a smile. But he's frowning, I start to ask what is wrong, then I notice a change in the beeping around me.

"He's crashing, somebody get a cart...we need some help in here..." the doctor suddenly yells. I scream and then I'm being hustled outside as the doctors do their thing. They close the blinds.

No,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no! My brain screams. I collapse on a chair, feeling my muscles shaking with shock and fear. I need Gibbs, no I don't, I need Tim, but Gibbs and a Caf-Pow will do. I calm myself down with a Caf-Pow from the nearest machine, and then I pull out my phone.

"Gibbs."

"It's Abby..." My voice is shaking. I suck on my Caf-Pow to try to steady it.

"Abby, what's wrong?!" I can hear the worry and fear in his voice. It breaks me; all control leaves me as I start to sob again.

"It's Tim Gibbs...its Tim...He responded but then...and he said...I can't...I'm sorry...Gibbs..."

"Slow down Abs. Start again." I can still hear the panic.

"He responded in pain...he groaned...he said my name...he crashed...Gibbs please come...please..." I'm starting to hyperventilate.

"Okay Abs. I'm on my way." And the phone goes dead. Deep breathes, I try to tell myself, but I find I can't. I wonder if I should phone the others, or if Gibbs will. The little control I had leaves me. Suddenly there's a paper bag being held over my nose and mouth, and I see Dr. Freeh crouching in front of me. I force myself to calm down wanting to know how Tim is.

"He's ok, Abby. He just pushed too hard, too fast. But take it as a good sign...he's trying to come back. His brain patterns suggest that he is beginning to improve. If he keeps improving at this rate, he may be awake by tomorrow."

I squeal and hug him. I want to laugh as he rocks backwards and almost falls over. I let go and we both stand. He nods at me and I walk back into his room. I go to his side, hold his hand and talk to him. I talk until I hear the door open once more and I see Gibbs. He looks, I don't know, but he almost looks scared. I run to him and hug him.

"Abby, what happened?" I see his glance at Tim, his confusion when he sees that his youngest agent is ok. I quickly tell him what happen. I tell him what the doctor said. I feel him relax. He kisses the top of my head and I release him. He tells me that he's going to tell the rest of the team. I figure that that means he told them. I walk back to Tim's side.