So..yeah. My explanation for this one? Well...I don't have one. I hope it amuses you a least a little :)

It was that time of year again, he realized. Sweet Oz, how could he have forgotten!

Well, that could be rectified soon enough. Grabbing a comb from his dresser, the boy moved to the mirror, concentrating on parting his hair so it fell over his eyes just so. A moment later, he finished, gazing at his reflection with a satisfied smile. Perfect.

Setting the comb down, he elected his favorite cologne from his collection, dabbing a few drops on his wrist and neck. A few flicks of his fingers through his hair and then-

The sounds of a key in the lock immediately stalled his actions and he froze where he stood. It couldn't be six already, could it? Glinda never came earlier than that.

His heart sank with relief when it was his roommate, not his girlfriend who entered a moment later. Seeing his friend's tense stance, Avaric locked the door behind him, placed his keys on the dresser and asked, "Are you alright, man? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Fiyero shook his head. "I thought you were Glinda. Oz only knows the last thing we need is for her to be here right now."

Avaric snorted. "No kidding." A pause. "You're sure you want to do this?"

Fiyero nodded, "It's worked since we were kids. Why would we stop now? Besides, it's better than a letter."

"You do realize the potential this holds for immense public humiliation and loss of the reputations we've worked so hard to build."

The Prince shrugged, "Which is why it's done in complete solitude. You locked the door?"

The other boy nodded, "Safe and secure." Moving to take his friend's place in front of the mirror, he checked his appearance, then turned to Fiyero. "Ready?"

Fiyero nodded, squaring his shoulders. Moving to the radio, he fiddled with the stations until a sultry jazz number filled the room. Satisfied, he simply stated, "Let's do this."

Avaric went first, "Oh, Lurline, sweet Lurline. We meet again. Have you missed us as much as we've missed you?"

"We really have missed you," Fiyero put in. "And, since you know it's about that time of year again, we thought we'd come to you ourselves instead of writing such an impersonal letter."

"We promise we won't take much of your time." Avaric grinned, his voice honey-sweet and smooth. "We know what a busy woman you must be this time of year. Really impressive. Quite frankly, I don't know how you do it."

"What I believe Avaric is trying to say," Fiyero's eyes went to the ceiling, "is that we hope you'll hurry to us this year."

"With a few things, of course." This from Avaric. Taking a seat on his bed, he continued, "There are just a few teeny ting things on our list this year. Isn't that right, Fiyero?"

"Quite right. You see, Madam Lurline, I find myself in need of passing grades this semester. If I don't my father will disown me, leading to the loss of a future king which could in turn lead to a rebellion in the Vinkus and cause the nation to fall into tyranny. So you see, my sweet, why I simply must pass all of my courses this year."

"When you've finished with my friend's practically simple wish for grades, I would much appreciate something a bit more….age appropriate." Avaric paused, seemingly only for dramatic effect, before nearly shouting, "Money!"

"Really, Av?"

Ignoring him, he continued, "You see, Lurline baby, unlike my genetically blessed friend here, I was not born into a life of wealth and privilege at the snap of a finger. You may not know this, but I seem to get on quite well with the ladies and…well, dates unfortunately do not come cheap, as you probably know." He shrugged, "Who knows? Maybe we could go out sometime. Whaddya say?"

Fiyero simply shook his head, wondering if his friends had finally lost it. You're talking to a mythical being in hopes of getting gifts, his mind reminded him. Who are you to question his sanity?

"Dearest Lurline," Fiyero continued, ignoring his sanity and fully embracing the madness, "I feel compelled to remind you of the improvement's I've made since last year. Upon arriving at Shiz, you and I both know I had some…issues. Now, I feel like my life has taken a complete turnaround. I'm attending classes, cut my partying in half, and managed to maintain something resembling a real relationship. I feel like a new man. And, I apologize if this sounds bold, but…" he shrugged, "I feel like I should be proud."

"The thing is, Ma'am," Avaric cut in, "is we could both be just as god next year," Smiling he added, "with the right motivation, of course…"

"Not that we would expect any one these things for free, of course," Fiyero quickly amended, shooting Avaric compelled to shut him up. "If it pleases you, we'll gladly wait up for you on Lurlinemas Eve. Just to show you how much we care."

"Hurry down to us, Lurline," Avaric purred, "I promise you won't be disappointed…"

"Erm…boys?"

They froze, knowing exactly to whom the voice belonged. Turning, they saw Elphaba standing in their doorway, wearing an expression that could only be described as a hybrid of curiosity, amusement, and disgust. Fiyero groaned. At the very least, she must think they were mad. Attempting to hide a smile, she inquired, "Was I interrupting something?"

Avaric spoke first, "What do you want, Artichoke?"

A brow rose, "Nothing from you, thank Oz." Turning to Fiyero, she said, "Glinda sent me. She said to tell you she would be late tonight. Something about her hair, the waffle iron, and some emergency. I thought you might be getting ready yourself, but…" chuckling softly, she finished, "I see you had other ideas."

He gave a nervous laugh. "Well, thanks, Elphaba. Tell Glinda no worries. I'll be there anyway. Well, thanks for stopping by, but now that you mention it, I do have to take care of some things before tonight so," Taking her arms, he steered her out of the room. "I guess I'll see you around."

She gave him a funny look, but said nothing as she left. Fiyero immediately shut the door behind her and turned his most intimidating glare on his roommate. "I am going to kill you." Rubbing a hand over his eyes, he stated, "I thought you said you locked the door!"

"I did!"

"Yeah, well, obviously you didn't!"

Avaric slumped on the bed. "And now Greenie is going to tell the entire campus. Fan-freakin-tastic."

Fiyero shook his head. "No, she won't. It's too good. More than likely, she'll only use it for revenge or blackmail should the situation ever arise."

"So this means I have to be nice to her now?"

He nodded. "Yep. Well, at least civil," he amended.

"Awesome." Crossing the room, he took a seat next to the Prince. "Listen, man. I know this was our tradition and stuff. It did work and was good while it lasted, but...maybe we should rethink this."

"Way ahead of you, Av," Fiyero groaned, humiliation seeping into his veins. "Tradition or not, we're done."