Author's Note: So the last chapter was rather lackluster. I know; but it was necessary for the plot - this chapter will definitely be better (I promise :O) and you'll see the consequences of the last chapter in the chapter after this one :). There IS a reason why I wrote it, after all :).
Disclaimer: Hana Yori Dango does not belong to me! But the plot of this fanfic does.
Family Planning
By Onkiu
Chapter Seven: The F4 go shopping.
"We're here."
Domyouji and Tsukushi had arrived at a narrow shopping strip in an average district. There seemed to be nothing special about it - no expensive brands, no huge chain stores, just average small businesses. Tsukushi found it rather odd to see Domyouji in a place that he would usually deem to be for commoners.
They walked around for a bit around the place. Domyouji seemed to be looking for something, for he was frowning and squinting at each shop's sign. Finally, he found the shop he was looking for - it was a costume shop with a dusty, plain shopfront, and Rui, Nishikaido and Mimasaka were standing outside, waiting for them. The sign above them read, 'Tomoyo Daidouji's Costume Shop - Premade and Made to Order. Custom enquiries welcome.'
"Well," said Mimasaka, "This is the address that Shigeru gave me. I didn't know she bought her costumes in such a dowdy place."
"We're buying a tummy in a costume shop?" said Tsukushi.
"Tell me where else you could find a place to buy a fake tummy, genius," said Nishikaido.
"You didn't tell Shigeru that Tsukushi was pretending to be pregnant, did you?" said Rui.
"Nope," said Mimasaka proudly. "Remember how we swore ourselves to secrecy? I told her that I wanted to get a pirate costume for a costume party my girlfriend was having, and asked her where she got her costumes from. She was more than happy to tell me. She told me that this was the best one."
"Looks rather outdated," said Nishikaido disdainfully.
"Don't judge a book by its cover," warned Tsukushi, defending all that is good and common.
They entered the narrow door, one after another. A clink of chimes indicated their presence, and the shopkeeper - a plain, middle aged man - looked up from behind the counter where he seemed to be fixing an elaborate looking waistcoat.
"Hello," said Mimasaka. "We're looking for costumes."
"What type?" asked the shopkeeper.
Tsukushi was sure that they would hit a snag. Surely, they weren't going to say that they wanted to buy a fake pregnant woman's stomach to trick the woman with the economy in her hands, Domyouji Kaede, into thinking that some teenage girl was pregnant.
"We want to buy costumes for a nativity scene."
"The magi or the shepherds or the angels?"
"Um," said Mimasaka. He really hadn't thought this through properly.
"The magi," said Nishikaido quickly. "We'd also like a costume of Mary and Joseph too."
"Is this for you people, or are you ordering for others?"
"It's for us," said Rui. "Would you have anything in stock at the moment?"
"Of course not. We're approximately eight months from Christmas - I doubt there would be any orders for nativity costumes."
"Well, you see," said Domyouji smugly, "It's for a play that our school is having at the end of the year, and we wanted to prepare early."
"Eight months early? Very hard working kids you are. I'm sorry to say, but we do not have any of those costumes at the moment. But I could always make custom costumes for you."
"That's okay," said Mimasaka quickly. "Would you have any other accessories in stock? Like, you know..."
"... A pregnant tummy for our Mary?" finished Nishikaido hopefully, and a little tactlessly. The shopkeeper, however, noticed nothing.
"That I would, since it's not a particularly Christmas exclusive costume. Is it for the girl?"
"Yes."
"Just a second." The man walked off to a storeroom behind him, and came back with a large, ugly, blue plastic mould.
"This is the only one we have for her size." said the man.
"Do you have anything... uh... more realistic?" said Domyouji.
"In ... you know, skin colours?" said Nishikaido.
"And ... maybe, adjustable in size?" added Mimasaka hopefully.
They really need not be so obvious even if they wanted the tummy as foolproof as possible, thought Tsukushi.
"Why would you need an adjustable tummy for a nativity scene? I don't think that there would be huge size changes by the time you reach the end of a pregnancy," said the shopkeeper, now eyeing them suspiciously. They were making rather odd requests for a mere accessory in a play. "It's not really for a nativity scene, is it? You asked for it at the wrong time of the year, and then you give me very specific criteria for a supposedly simple accessory. Now, what is it really for?"
"It's for..." muttered Tsukushi. She really wanted to say that it was fooling someone's mother, but that would just blow all their efforts.
"It's for a pornographic video," said Rui solemnly as everyone's jaw dropped to anatomically impossible lengths.
The way that he said it - in such a sombre tone - and the fact that he managed to keep a poker face while saying it left the rest of them speechless. Even the shopkeeper's jaw had dropped due to Rui's brutal 'honesty'.
"I am sorry that we had to lie to you before - you see, I was rather afraid that you might not sell it to me if you knew that it was to be for an explicit X-rated video. I am the director, and here is my producer, and my costume designer." He pointed at Mimasaka and Nishikaido respectively. Noticing that Domyouji was looking rather annoyed because he was not given any title, he added, "This is my male star. Now you know the reason why we need it as realistic as possible. We want it to match the skin colour of this lady here, who will be the female star of the video," continued Rui in a serious, businesslike tone, gesturing at Tsukushi. "It would be wonderful to have it adjustable, because we will be making a set of three videos, one for each trimester. For that, we will need to be able to change the size of her tummy."
Tsukushi wanted to protest, but she was left absolutely speechless. She couldn't believe that he said that; this was the type of crazy idea that only the other three could come up with. She could tell her face was very red - she was absolutely mortified. Rui had just turned her into a porn star. Domyouji was having perverted thoughts from that idea; his face was all red and he was struggling with a nosebleed.
"You're going to need a custom made one," muttered the shopkeeper, deeply embarrassed at being dragged into such a conversation. "Come with me."
He lead them to the back of the store, where he matched Tsukushi's skin colour with a palette, then took some measurements - all the while muttering "Kids these days," and "Strange fetishes" under his breath. It was then recorded down in a little order form. A price was negotiated, a payment made, and instructions to come and pick up their order in seven days (Nishikaido had urged that the shopkeeper give it priority because it was halting the production of their film).
True to the shopkeeper's words, the tummy was indeed ready in seven days time. Domyouji and Tsukushi returned, where she had a fitting. It was mainly an inflatable tummy that was strapped around her at the back and over the shoulders. It was covered with a material that had the texture of skin and had colour that blended perfectly with her stomach. The size and shape was adjustable via the 'belly button' of the tummy, and it was fairly lightweight for something so bulky due to the fact that it was filled with air.
"You look like a goddess," muttered Domyouji, blushing, as he stared at Tsukushi, who had donned the tummy and was inspecting it in the mirror.
"It looks very realistic," said Tsukushi, surprised by the shopkeeper's handiwork.
"It is for a film, so I did the best I can," the shopkeeper said, half admiring and half exasperated with his creation.
"Thank you very much," said Domyouji, "Here is an extra payment for you for such a wonderful job and meeting the deadline."
He pulled out his chequebook and scrawled something in it before handing a cheque to him. The shopkeeper's eyes widened at the sizeable amount of the tip that he had just received.
They bade farewell to the shopkeeper, and, hauling the box in which was the tummy under his arms (Tsukushi was not going to wear it out onto the street), Domyouji turned to Tsukushi and said, looking rather happy, "That's one big leap in the plan, one giant step for the future!"
"You mean, one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind?"
"Yeah, same thing," snorted Domyouji. "Let's go eat! This is a cause for celebration."
"I don't have enough money," said Tsukushi. "Payday isn't until next Thursday."
"My treat. You should stop worrying about paying," said Domyouji, a little annoyed at her resistance in letting him pay.
"Just don't choose a place that's too expensive," said Tsukushi. "Or I'm not going there."
"Alright, alright, whatever, but I'm picking, okay? I don't want to eat cheap commoner's food."
"Aren't you going to put the parcel down?"
"My chauffer won't be back until three hours time," said Domyouji. He stopped dramatically all of a sudden, and threw a hand out to stop Tsukushi as well.
"Wait a sec!"
"What?" said Tsukushi, surprised.
"How am I going to take this thing back to my place? Crap!" said Domyouji, frowning. "There's nowhere I can hide this thing; the servants clean out every cook and nanny-"
"You mean, nook and cranny?" said Tsukushi.
"-and if they find this, they will definitely report it as suspicious to Tama! Then Tama will know and then sister will find out and then mother will know!" continued Domyouji, ignoring Tsukushi. He looked more and more worried. "Worse, they're going to think this is a bomb and dispose of it!"
"You know, we could always hide it in someone else's place," said Tsukushi.
"That's right! We can!" said Domyouji, looking thoroughly relieved. "Um, where at?"
"One of the other's place? I mean, you can't exactly hide it in my place - too small, plus, you don't want my parents knowing."
"Good idea." He whipped out his phone and dialed Rui first, and explained the situation to him.
"I'd love to, Tsukasa," replied Rui. "But my place is rather threadbare, don't you think? I don't exactly have anywhere to hide this, and I believe I will be rather freaked out about the realism of that thing. I don't want to leave it in the middle of my room where I can see it.."
So that was a no. Domyouji tried Nishikaido.
"I've got a storeroom at my place, but the servants clean it out. I don't want them reporting to my mother that I have acquired some sort of strange fetish for pregnant women."
It was his last chance. Domyouji rang Mimasaka and explained how desperate the situation was to him.
"Well, I guess you could store it at my place. My mother's gone on holiday to Europe with my sisters for a few months, so the place is all mine now. You could leave it in her cottage - the servants don't touch that place unless they are ordered to. That's my mother's own private, personal space where she likes to do everything and no one goes there because she doesn't like people messing it up."
"Really? So I can leave it at your place?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Akira, if you were here right now, I'd kiss you."
"Please don't. Anyway, I'm with my girlfriend right now, so can I call you back later? Just drop the parcel here tonight. Bye!"
"Yes!" said Domyouji, pocketing his phone and punching the air triumphantly. "All settled! Time to eat!"
They walked down the shopping strip, searching for a restaurant fine enough for Domyouji's standards. It was when they were walking past a newspaper stand in their quest for food that they noticed the headline of a major broadsheet emblazoned over it in giant, black letters:
DOMYOUJI HEIR ANNOUNCES BIRTH OF CHILD
Stocks rise to record highs
Next Chapter: The media has gotten a hold of their secret! Who leaked the news? Now the whole world will find out what Tsukushi didn't want them to hear! Stay tuned!