Hey, everyone! I'm sorry that I haven't posted in quite a while, well it's only been a week actually. But anyway, I had my first final today, and I got a 105!!!!!!! YAH! And then I got a 97 on my Language arts one, yah again! Sorry, don't mean to brag, just proud. But anyway, I finally got a chance to post, I have two more tomorrow, wish me luck! Thanks!

Music: The Reason- Hoobastank, Soul Meets Body- Death Cab for Cutie, Grazed Knees- Snow Patrol ( I listened to a lot of the snow patrol albums while writing this, but that one really stuck for some odd reason)

My mother checked on me every hour or so throughout the night. I dozed on and off, always restless and unable to keep still enough to sleep longer than an hour or two.

Edward haunted every dream I had while I was deep asleep for my short abyss. They consisted of several memorable scenes. Once we were at the ball, and he danced with me, it seemed never-ending. The music never stopped nor did our feet. Edward didn't talk and when I tried, I had no voice. Still, it was lovely and I wished that I didn't wake up, as I did every time, when my legs or my feet decided they weren't at ease.

But other times, he was just there, staring at me. I was in a thick forest, where the canopy above me blocked out all sunlight that might have shone through if not for the branches and significant sized leaves. It created a dim, murky, olive light, to where I could only see Edward's unremarkably picturesque features. He seemed paler and, if possible, more beautiful. And the think that struck me most, was the golden eyes, almost topaz, which glowed in the shadowy light that surrounded him and I.

It really was nothing scary or disturbing, just dreams that I hoped I had the pleasure of having again.

By the end of the night, my covers were disheveled and wrinkled. My pillows were scattered around my bed or had even up on the floor. Maria brought up my dinner, a tomato soup with crackers, and quickly left me alone with my thoughts and boredom.

I promptly fell asleep after my dinner, having a dreamless sleep, much to my demise.

The rain hammering on the windows and the wind howling frighteningly outside woke me from my slumber this morning.

I cringed; I hated the wet weather that I had seen daily from my birthplace in Washington.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes, looking around the dark room, no sun shining through the window this morning, as if I was expecting someone waiting for my awakening.

But I was alone, just as I had known all along. It was then I realized how much better I felt. My head didn't throb or my stomach didn't ache to the point of sheer misery. My head was still congested, like someone had forcefully put cotton balls in my ears. But other than the discomfort in my ears, I felt immensely better.

The time of day was obscured by the clouds hiding the sun that usually gave an estimate away. I searched the room for my clock. It was a little after eight.

I knew the doctor would be here soon, to check on my progress that had seem too improved exceedingly. He would be pleased.

And then there was Edward. I too hoped that he would be satisfied with my progress, knowing I would be out of the bed sooner than most had planned. I wondered when he would visit today, if he would at all.

He said he would, no he promised. But when it comes to girls like me, their promises are usually not kept.

I knew that I was not beautiful in any way or not compared to other girls my age. I was just normal, nothing obviously stunning about me. But Edward's words, the ones that he had spoken to me yesterday, annoying ran through my head. "You are beautiful either way. It's impossible for you to be. You don't see yourself clearly at all… Your beyond gorgeous, Isabella, even now."

Could he really mean that, was he just taking pity on me, because I was sick? He couldn't find me beautiful, it wasn't logical. Not when he was being swarmed by many other girl that are far prettier than I.

But his words were so sincere and when he spoke them, he made them seem so true. I wanted to believe him, I truly did, but I couldn't bring myself to… completely.

Compared to him, I was nothing, and in public, I would look like some poor person he was taking sympathy on.

I contemplated the idea of his words for the next hour or so, as I lay leaned up against my head board, twiddling with the hem of my favorite blanket.

My final conclusion was that, he may… mean the words that he so earnestly spoke, and that eh was telling the truth. Or maybe, as I said before, was taking pity on me, trying to comfort me, and he finally so that I really was. He would leave me, marry someone else much more satisfable and forget that I existed. That probably was the better choice, for the both of us.

Of course it bought tears my eyes to think of such things, but it would happen, I assured myself. I wasn't made for him, or him I. maybe we could be friends, I could see him happy while I would be alone.

It was a hard concept to grasp, but I quickly came to terms with it, like I always did. I was so deep in thought that I didn't hear the muffled foot steps approach my door. My mother came bustling in, Dr. Cullen following blissfully behind her.

I rapidly came back to reality and hopefully before the noticed, wiped my cheeks with the nearest sheet. Making sure my cheeks were dry and that I could maintain the rest from falling, I looked up.

I was pretty sure that my mother hadn't noticed. She was turned towards the doctor, her attention glued on him. But Dr. Cullen's were fixed on me, looking curiously at me. I swiftly turned my eyes away from his, hoping that he didn't see that mine were glistening with fresh tears. My embarrassment got me this time.

The whole time, it seemed like the world had gone in slow motion, muted all sound. Then suddenly it was as if someone had turned the sound back on and I was aware of my mother's speedy words.

"She slept most of last night, didn't eat all much. I do believe that she is healing better than we assumed." He finally focused back on her, looking away from me. I was relieved to be away from his intense stare. Did he notice? It sure seemed like he did? Maybe it was just my imagination, or so I hoped.

"I agree, would you please excuse us, Ms. Swan, while I examine Isabella. I usually like to give my patients privacy while I am doing so. DO you mind?"

My thoughts immediately flashed to Edward, and a pain in my stomach made it hard to breathe. Dr. Cullen never forced him to leave, he asked my permission. Was he going to question me, why I was crying when he walked in, or was it just simply for my benefit?

"No, no, I do not mind at all. Please just let me know of her condition before you leave."

"Of course, Mam. Thank you very much." He set down his bag down by my wardrobe and locked eyes with mine as my mother stumbled out of the room.

His topaz eyes struck me once again. They were enigmatic, but I felt oddly safe around him, like he would save me even from all the evil in the world combined.

His eyes danced as he took in my appearance and my, presumably, flushed cheeks. He began approaching me, taking measured steps, still observing me, never did he break his stare.

"Good morning, Miss. Swan. How do you feel? Perhaps, any better?" he inquired, in his faint British accent that was ever so smooth, melodious, compared to my guttural voice.

"Quite better, Dr. Cullen. Thank you. How are you this morning?" I asked, trying fruitlessly to the focus somewhat off of me. Especially, if some how possible, did see my hidden tears this morning. How, I was still struggling with, but he seemed different.

"Superb, actually. Thank you dear, for asking. But may I inquire something of my own?" his eyes lifted from the parchment that he bared in his hand.

"Depending what you might inquire," I answered truthfully. My eyes were directed downward, towards my hands, afraid that my eyes would give away my anxiety.

"I was simply wondering what you were tearful about as I walked in. I noticed that you tried to cover it up, but you mustn't forget that I am a doctor…. and have a tendency to be aware of such things. May I please ask, Ms. Swan, what was it that has put you, such a lovely girl, even in these circumstances, in such a dreary mood?" his black, leather boots, came into my view that was focused on the floor, counting the lines in the hardwood floor, vainly trying to avoid his questioning gaze.

"It was just a few poignant thoughts that had racked my mine for quite a while. And their… unpleasant conditions just unsettled me a bit, that's all." I hoped that he would drop it after, not wanting to go father into the reasons behind it or just what might those depressing thoughts be.

"Ms. Swan… Isabella. I'm must admit that I am not usually a very… sentimental person. But as your doctor, I do advise that sometimes, it makes one feel better when they let someone else know their thoughts. Maybe it is not me that you should be releasing such feelings to, but the person who there are about. And if I am thinking right, that dear fellow, Edward Masen, would most likely be a decent candidate." He winked at me, as my eyes shot up to his.

It was as if he read my mind or such. How could he possibly know that my thoughts had been around him? I was pretty sure my eyes were asking the very obvious question, as he observed my perplexed face.

"I am no mind reader, Isabella. But I can recognize people's emotions and sometimes, where their mind is placed. You seemed close to that boy and he seemed to be thinking amongst the same ideas. If it is about him, as I assume I am right, to the way you reacted when I guessed, you should speak to him. But if you wish to tell me, I am ready to listen."

"No, you do not need to do such a thing. Nor do you probably wish to hear them. Why don't we get back to the reason why you have come to visit me today?"

"Yes, if you wish, Isabella. Btu remember my words, think about them." he eyes me knowingly. Then bent down to retrieve his bag from the chilled ground. He took out a silver stethoscope.

He repeated most of his activities he did yesterday. I kept silent most of the time, thinking of his words, as he had wished. I answered the necessary questions once and a while through out the examination that I ever so detested.

"Well, Isabella. I believe you are done now. I will be back again tomorrow and then I don't think you will need me much more after that. You are healing much more rapidly than I thought you would. You should be fully recovered within a few days. Congratulations, I'm sure you are glad to hear that your bed rest will soon be over. Good day, Ms. Swan." He tipped his hat, and began to make his way out of the door.

Suddenly he stopped mid-stride. "Oh and Bella, think about what I said, talk to him about what is troubling you," he whispered and his eyes burned with intensity. With one final glance and a wink that was so fast, I wasn't even sure I saw it, he turned on his heal and down the stairs, making no audible sound.

I sighed, how he could possibly know. I had to admit that he was surely different. He was mysterious, like he was holding some dark secret and that one palpable mistake could reveal him at any minute.

My head made a slight thud as I threw it back against the head board of my bed. I pulled the blanket closer to my chin, and did the only thing I could do… deeply think.

The rain slowed after some long period of time, to a slow drizzle, that still hid the sun from shining. The howling wind almost ceased, a quite shudder or two knocked on my windows, but a good deal of the wind was definitely calmer for the most part.

I had completely forgotten that I still had one more visitor for the day. When Edward made a silent entrance into my room, carrying a single item behind his back, I was too far off in my own world to notice.

Conveniently, my thoughts had been on him, most likely not coming, because of my breakdown yesterday. Dr. Cullen's words still rang through my head, and my depression was probably evident ton my face.

My eyes were focused on the window, watching the constant drizzle, and the rain drops roll down my window, and drip off my windowsill. I finally realized that I was not in fact alone, when Edward approached my bed, and swept back a lock of hair, tucking it behind my ear.

I gasped loudly, letting out a gust of air. My eyes stuttered to his immediately, and I saw the happiness in his eyes slowly fad to worry as he read mine.

It was going to be yesterday all over again. I knew that I could not hold back the tears when I thought of him being here one day and the next engaged to some opulent girl from down town Chicago.

"Isabella, what is wrong. Did something happen over night? Are you getting worse?" his eyes flashed down my limp form and back up to my face so quickly I barely caught it.

I shook my head and twiddled with my thumbs on my lap. Suddenly, Edward's warm hand caught mine. He brought it up to his lips, and kissed it lightly.

"Dear, Bella. You do not realize truthfully, just how much I wish to read your mind. If I could pick any mind in the world, it would be yours. Please do tell me what is in that pretty little head of yours, please?" he pleaded with me, turning his eyes on full force. He dropped my hand back on the bed, but still held it firmly in his.

"Edward, you do know that all you have to do is ask, and I will usually tell you." I ran my thumb along his palm and he squeezed it reassuring.

"I do know that, but you edit too much, and I really never know what was truly going through your mind. I only wish."

"I do not edit, plus you don't want to hear it," I mumbled pathetically.

Edward placed his index finger under my chin and brought it up to his sparkling eyes, that tantalized me every time.

"You would be surprised, Bella. I would love to hear every thought of yours that runs through your head. Now, please tell me what has brought the tears back to your eyes once again. I beg of you, I won't get mad at you, I promise you, Bella." his hand tightened around mine and I did the same back.

"Are you sure," I asked nervously.

"Yes, Bella. Why wouldn't I want to hear what it on your mind? I plan on staying for quite a while, around you. I… really enjoy the time I get to spend with you Bella. I could do it all my life."

A single tear rolled down my cheek, and onto his hand, wrapped snuggly around mine. He said this now, but what happened when he found out who I really was. That I was boring and there was nothing special about me. What happened when he stumbled across a girl in town or his parents step him up with someone, and he fell in love? I wasn't sure my heart could take that.

"Bella?" he interrupted my thoughts and a few more tears began to fall.

"Never mind, Edward. You don't want to hear this. Please just let it go." I laid back and turned slightly to the side, not meeting his anxious gaze.

"Bella, why won't you tell me? Are you desperately trying to make me go mad? Because let me tell you, you are succeeding. Please Bella, I want to hear, please," he begged. I turned back to him and looked into his pleading eyes that were filled with nothing but uneasiness and apprehension.

"Edward…I… can't get it out, I… it's not important. I think… you should leave, Edward, please." I finally framed the words, and it was then I realized what I had just said. Did I really ask him to leave? Yes, I did. I couldn't continue this, knowing that it would not prolong much longer. He would leave me, and I couldn't let myself dwell on that.

"Bella, if you wish for me to leave, and you are not just saying that to get me to leave, then I will, but I want you to look me in the eyes, and tell me that. I want you to look at me, and tell me that you want me to leave, because you can't take my presence anymore. However, if you can't do that, I will sit here, and wait till you finally give in, and tell me what's in that labyrinthine mind of yours. I care deeply about you, Bella. How many times put, how many ways do I need to put that for you to understand?"

His eyes beseeched mine, and I couldn't look in to them, and tell him truthfully what I had asked. And he knew that, he knew that I couldn't… I wouldn't tell him to leave, and he knew that fairly well.

His face automatically lifted as I looked away and sighed in defeat. "See, you can't tell me that. So here I will sit, waiting for you to break," showing me he meant business, he knelt on the edge of the bed, holding my hand, "even if it takes all day, Bella, I will be here. I care about you, and by your expression, and your resistance to tell me, I can pretty well guess, this includes me. Please Bella."

He leaned forward and I pushed myself back further, till my head hit the headboard, but Edward can closer, till our noses were almost touching. He let out a deep sigh, blowing his sweet breath in my face.

My breath was uneven, and my heart lurched as he closed the distance between us, leaving little room for me to move. My heart pumped unsteadily, and I found myself catching my breath.

"Now, what was it that you want to tell me? What is it about you and I that have been depressing you, severely? I want to know Bella. I will not be mad; I will not be disappointed in you. I will only be relieved to know what had occupied your mind, please."

"I'm afraid of you leaving. I know you will, soon. I am not enough for you, not good enough," I blurted out without even thinking about it. He was so intoxicating and tantalizing; my mind did not know what to say. "I know that, Edward," I muttered.

He mechanically leaned away from me, looking hurt and… even though he promised, angry.

"I knew I shouldn't have told you. I knew it was a bad idea. Edward, please say something, anything. I don't care if you even want to yell at me, just something, please."

He continued to stare at me, shocked, and silent. "Edward," I whispered. He made no sound.

I felt salty, warm tears begin to fall down my cheeks, and I did the only thing I do best, I ran. I briskly turned away from him and threw my feet over the edge. They immediately met the cold, hard floor and I stumbled.

As I was about to come in contact with the hardwood floor, I prepared myself. My hands flew to my face, protecting it. But the pain never came; instead I felt something curl around my wrist, pulling me back up.

I was suddenly in Edward lap, as he held me closely to his chest. I felt whole and safe, like I belonged here.

"Bella, how could you think of that? You, not being enough for me, is an outrageous thought. I could see it the other way around, I am not good enough for you, an angel. You could do so much better, Bella. But here you sit with me, and all I can think is, 'how did I get this lucky?'"

A shaky laugh shook my body, as Edward held me closer to him. "But how can you want me? I'm ordinary, nothing special. How do I know that your parents won't set you up with someone flawless and much higher in society? Edward, I'm not for you, and you I," I admitted, sheepishly.

"Bella, what did I tell you yesterday?" he looked at me with a questioning gaze, as I racked my brain of his words. "I told you, you doubt yourself all too much, Bella. You are statuesque, flawless… perfect, in every sense of the word. You don't realize how many male gazes you receive as you walk through the town. You are so much more than you think and much more wanted than you are aware of."

"How is that possible? I haven't even been this close before you, Edward. I was never asked out, or accompanied anywhere. I was always picked last, if I am so… perfect, as you say, then why do I have zero experience in this… area?" I raised an eyebrow his direction.

"I don't know exactly why, my dear, but I know that you are wanted far more than you know. Maybe, you intimidated those who desired you. All I know is that I have no intentions of leaving your side. If you wish for me too, I will always follow your commands, but until then, expect me around, Bella. Because I have never felt this way before… about anyone, and I'm really enjoying the feeling."

"Don't expect me to be sending you away either. You have originated feelings in me, that I too agree, I have never felt. I wish I could explain to you the pain in my chest when I thought of you leaving my side, but it was to awful, to even put it into words." I looked down and traced the lines on his warm palm.

"Well, don't worry, I will be here. I promise to you, I swear, that I will not leave you. I will always keep my promises, never have I broken one, and I don't intend to break this one. I deeply care for you Bella; you have no idea how much. I know that we have only known each other for a few days, but I have never felt more connected to someone in my entire life. Is that strange? Do you feel it too?" his voice was a soft mutter as he stroked my hair. His words, took the breath out of me, making me feel weightless, and made my heart soar.

"Yes, I feel it too, and no, it's not weird at all. I care for you to Edward, deeply and most likely forever." I mumbled the last words, still unsure how he would react when I revealed just how profoundly I cared for him, just how intensely I was… obsessed.

"Me too, Bella. Me too," he whispered in my ear… lovingly. I buried my face into his chest, and breathed in deeply. His scent was something I had ever smelled before. He continued to caress my hair and we were silent, relaxing and preserving the moment.

I had never felt so complete or… loved. Did I love Edward Masen? Was I finally going to get my happy ever after? Maybe, just maybe, I thought.

So what did you think? Was it long enough, (it was 4,046 words) because it took me a little time each day for three days to write that! In-between all my study! UGH! Thanks again for all your wonderful reviews, your guys make my heart soar and my bad days, well are no longer bad, thanks!!! LOL!