Belle stared down into her underwear drawer critically. What did one wear to have strictly procreative sex with one's ex-husband? She didn't want to wear anything overtly sexy. That felt like she was putting more effort into it than they'd agreed upon. This was supposed to be straightforward. Sexy lingerie did not seem straightforward.
But her everyday cotton bra and panties felt like she wasn't putting any effort forward at all.
She pulled out a black lacy number with several crisscrossing straps that she hadn't seen in years, and threw it across the room. Definitely not that one. It was too hard to get out of and she didn't want to provide any deterrents to what they were doing. If she knew Rumple, and after almost 40 years she thought she did, he'd use the least provocation to call the whole thing off.
She slumped back on to her bed, throwing an arm across her eyes to block out the mound of underwear that had accumulated beside her.
This was the worst possible idea either she or Rumple had ever had. But there was no other way this was happening. She either sucked it up and had sex with Rumple, or never had another child. She supposed thinking like that was a bit fatalistic. There was no reason she should be alone all her life. There was no real reason she could never remarry, try the whole thing over again.
But Belle knew that as long as Rumple was alive, she'd never truly move on. There was no way to continue on, try to be happy with someone else, when part of her heart forever lived in his chest. She'd tried that before and it simply didn't work. They were true love and that didn't go away, no matter how hard she wished it.
Sitting back up, she glanced over at the lingerie pile, picking at the edge of the cream and lace nightgown she'd worn on their wedding night. Pulling it toward her, she hugged the nightie to her chest. It was a remnant of happier times, easier times. She hadn't worn this particular nightgown since, but she'd kept it all the same, unwilling to part with such a happy memory.
She felt tears pricking her eyes and sighed, tossing the nightgown back on the pile. It wouldn't do to get overly sentimental right now. She was due at Rumple's at 8:00 and it was already half past 6. She still had to drop Gideon off at the diner. She didn't have time for this.
She also couldn't be thinking about how much she loved the man she was about to sleep with. They'd promised not to let emotions get in the way. This wasn't love, not anymore. It was only for a child.
A sultry little voice in the back of her head that sounded a bit too much like Lacey whispered that didn't mean they couldn't enjoy themselves in the process, but she shut it down quickly. This wasn't about pleasure. It wasn't about love. It was about making a baby. They could keep this as cold and clinical as her monthly inseminations at Whale's office, couldn't they?
Even as she had the thought, she knew it was stupid. There was no way she wouldn't enjoy herself in Rumple's bed. A little thrill ran up her spine and something other than dread settled heavily in her stomach.
Well, she had to put something on her body. She was currently naked beneath her plush bathrobe and as strangely appealing as the idea of just turning up at Rumple's place naked was, she was fairly certain she shouldn't drop Gideon off at Granny's that way. She turned back to her underwear drawer and the scant bras and panties left within. She really should have come up with an attack plan earlier than an hour before their intended meeting, but over the past week she'd been trying not to think about it. The weird combination of nerves and anticipation, the sick churning feeling balanced with the straight up desire she'd been trying to quash for ages, had left her feeling fairly nauseous.
After another five minutes of deliberation, she finally settled on a pale blue set edged in darker blue lace. It was nice enough and matched, but nothing over the top. This wasn't a seduction, she reminded herself. It was a contract.
Promptly at 8:00, Belle found herself standing on Rumple's front porch, her hand poised to knock, but failing to do so.
Gideon was with Granny for the whole night. She had the entire night to stay with Rumple. Should she spend the night? What was their stance on cuddling? Shouldn't they have decided all of this before?
She was frozen by inaction, her arm getting tired from hanging in the air as it was. Why couldn't she do something? She wanted this. She wanted a child. She wanted this. Oh God, she wanted this.
Belle let her hand drop to her side. There was no way she was going to be able to get through the night without her feelings for Rumple rising to the surface. She had to clamp this down before she ruined everything.
She took a deep breath, composing herself, before raising her hand to knock once more. She'd barely rapped her knuckles against the hard wood before she saw a shadow moving behind the multi colored paned glass.
The door swung open, revealing a slightly breathless Rumple. He was dressed in his usual button down shirt, trousers and tie, but he'd foregone his waistcoat and suit jacket.
"Belle," he said, his voice caressing the syllables of her name and sliding over her like silk. "You came."
He sounded slightly surprised that she'd actually shown up at the appointed time and it was enough to snap her back to reality.
"Of course I did," she said.
Rumple just gave a nod, moving out of the doorway and motioning for her to enter.
"Please, come in," he said formally.
Belle followed him in to the entrance hall where they stood awkwardly for a moment before Rumple offered to take her coat. She turned to let him pull it from her shoulders, shivering slightly at the feeling of his fingertips even through the wool barrier of her coat.
He hung it up on the coat rack beside the front door before turning back to her, his eyes widening.
Belle glanced down at her outfit, suddenly extremely self-conscious. She knew this wasn't a date, not really, but she felt like some effort was necessary. She didn't want to feel like a slob. So she'd picked a simple navy blue dress from her closet that she hadn't had a chance to wear yet. The silhouette was nothing special, an A-line skirt that just skimmed the tops of her knees, but the neckline was one of the most daring in her closet and the reason the dress had yet to see the light of day. The deep V-neck revealed an ample amount of cleavage that was only enhanced by the slight push up to her bra. What had felt slightly flirty and fun in the comfort of her own bedroom felt brazen and shameless in Rumple's entrance hall.
Belle stared down at her crimson peep toes wishing she'd just worn a turtleneck, not that there was anything she could do about the situation now barring putting her coat back on for the entire evening.
Rumple swallowed audibly, his eyes flicking down before settling back on her face.
"You…you look beautiful," he stammered out.
"Thank you," she managed, her voice sounding squeaky to her own ears.
Well, she was here now. They were doing this. Her breasts were practically on display. What now?
She glanced up to finally meet Rumple's eyes only to see he looked just as lost as she felt. She cast around for some topic of conversation, something that would at least move them out of the entrance hall.
"Something smells delicious," she said, realizing Rumple must have been cooking, hence his lack of jacket and waistcoat. He'd probably just finished eating and she'd interrupted him during cleanup.
Rumple seemed to snap to attention at that, dragging his eyes away from her and motioning that she follow him down the hall.
"I, um, wasn't sure if you'd eaten," he said gesturing through to the dining room. "So I threw a little something together."
"Oh," Belle said, glancing over his shoulder to where the dining table was set with some of Rumple's patterned, bone China. She hadn't eaten. She'd been far too nervous, her stomach churning uncomfortably all afternoon. But now she was here and the scent of roasted garlic and dill was heavy in the air. Her stomach gave a loud rumble as if on cue, and Rumple lifted an eyebrow.
"I could eat," she conceded.
He gave her a little smile, almost shy, so like the ones he'd occasionally worn in the Dark Castle so many years ago. A reminder that the man standing before her in shirt sleeves with shorn hair was the same one with sparkly skin and strange eyes that she'd fallen for so long ago. How much had changed since then.
Rumple had prepared sea bass with a lemon, dill and caper sauce over risotto. Filling, yet light enough not to weigh them down for their planned activity. It was a thoughtful gesture, one she appreciated, but it just served to make her more aware of what she was really there for.
Belle took her place at the dining table across from Rumple. It was just dinner, she told herself. They'd had dinner together plenty of times over the past few years. Of course, Gideon was usually with them, and it was typically burgers at Granny's, and there definitely wasn't sex planned for afterward. At least he'd foregone candlelight and music, which might be a step too far in the date direction. But Belle was sure music could only help the oppressive silence that seemed to be settling over them. And considering she was wearing a push up bra and a low cut dress, who was she kidding anyway?
"Wine?" Rumple interrupted her train of thought, picking up a bottle of something white but suitably expensive looking.
"Probably for the best," Belle agreed, holding up her wineglass so he could fill it up.
The wine was light and frothy on her tongue, bubbling and tart. She swallowed it down before taking another mouthful, hoping it would calm her nerves.
They ate in relative silence. Despite her hunger, Belle was finding it hard to stomach food. She pushed her food around on her plate, wishing the acidic feeling in her stomach would go away.
"It's delicious," she ventured. It truly was and she wished she could enjoy it more. Rumple had always been a far better cook than her. She took another bite to prove her point.
"Thank you," Rumple replied. She couldn't help but notice that his plate was barely touched as well. She wasn't the only one suffering from a nervous stomach it seemed. Oddly enough, she felt heartened by that.
"How's Gid?" Rumple asked, picking at his risotto with his fork.
"Great," she replied, finishing off the wine in her glass. "He's always great. Excited to spend the night at Granny's. I think they were making popcorn, the proper kind, not in a microwave."
Rumple nodded, reaching across to refill her wineglass.
"Did you tell him where you were going tonight?"
Belle's eyes bugged and she almost choked on her sea bass.
"What?" she sputtered. "Did I tell him I was going to have sex with his father? Of course not."
"No," Rumple protested. "I mean, have you talked to him at all about our situation, about having another baby even though we're not together?"
"Oh, no," Belle said with a shake of her head. "I wasn't quite sure how to approach it. He's not even four, Rumple. He still thinks babies come from the stork."
Rumple snorted into his wineglass.
"Anyway, I figured we'd cross that bridge if and when we came to it," she continued. "No use getting him excited about a sibling that never happens, right?"
She didn't really want to think about that. If this last ditch effort didn't work, they'd have potentially ruined their friendly co-parenting arrangement for nothing. The worst-case scenario would have Rumple never speaking to her again and no chance of ever having another baby. All her hopes hinged on one night with her ex-husband and she was equal parts excitement and dread.
"I suppose you're right," he agreed, turning back to his half eaten plate.
They continued on in silence though it wasn't quite as oppressive as before. Eventually they reached a point where they could no longer pretend to be eating and Rumple carried their plates through into the kitchen, waving off Belle's offers to help.
She could hear the faucet running in the kitchen as Rumple cleaned up the dishes while she was left with nothing to do. She checked her phone to make sure she'd had no calls from Granny, then she stood up, pacing around the dining room. It was bizarre to think this house had once been her home. It felt foreign to her now. There was a time when she'd had most of her meals in this dining room, but now it was like being in a stranger's house. She wasn't sure where to go, what she could touch. The tears started to form again and she scurried back to her chair, dabbing at them with her napkin.
"Is everything alright?" Rumple asked, making his way back in to the room.
"Yeah," she said, dropping her napkin back on to her lap and flashing a smile.
Rumple took his seat again and topped off their wineglasses, finishing off the bottle.
"If you're trying to get me drunk, you needn't bother," Belle quipped, the wine certainly loosening her tongue. "You're getting lucky tonight no matter what."
Rumple's hand slipped, sloshing a bit of wine over the rim of her glass so it splashed on the table below.
"Shit," he muttered under his breath.
Belle grabbed her napkin, quickly mopping up the spill. "It's fine," she said soothingly. "No harm, no foul."
"I'm sorry, Belle," he said, picking up his own glass and taking a fortifying sip. "The truth is I'm fairly nervous about tonight."
Belle couldn't help the giggled that bubbled up in her throat.
"You don't say," she said with a laugh. At Rumple's stricken face she continued. "Rumple, we've both been a nervous wreck all evening, that's obvious. But, it'll be fine. We've done this countless times before. I have complete faith in us."
"You do?" he asked, looking surprised.
"Yeah," she assured him, trying to seem more confident than she actually felt. They needed to do this. She could be the brave one and lead the way.
"I guess there's no reason to drag this on longer then," he said with a decisive nod.
"Not unless you made dessert?" she said wryly.
Rumple gave a little twist of his mouth. "I thought that might be a bit much. I'm sure I could dig up a tin of biscuits if you really want something."
Belle snorted a laugh. "No, thanks. I'm good."
He just nodded again. "Then should we go upstairs?"
"Sure," Belle agreed. She picked up her glass of wine, standing from the table and motioned for Rumple to lead the way.
He snatched up his own glass, leading her up the stairs and to the bedroom that had once been theirs. It hadn't changed much in the intervening years. He still had the same nightstands, the same wooden four-poster bed, the same burgundy duvet cover. If Belle let herself, she could pretend it was 4 years ago, that they were still married, that this was just a normal evening. The lights were already turned down low, the duvet flipped back invitingly. He'd planned, made things comfortable, and it made her heart flutter in her chest. She had to shut down those feelings and quick.
She'd spent the night here a few months ago, the night she'd found out IUI had failed for the first time. After spending the night together completely platonically, things between them had been stilted and awkward. She could only imagine what fresh hell tomorrow would bring unless they actively worked against it.
Letting the wine fortify her and give her confidence, Belle brushed past Rumple, going to sit on the bed and patting the mattress next to her. Rumple followed wordlessly, sitting a bit too far away from her and sipping at his wine.
"So," Belle began, twisting her wine glass between her fingers. They were in the bedroom, on the bed, but no closer to their goal. Perhaps if she stripped naked, he'd make a move. "Read any good books lately?"
"Really?" Rumple said disbelievingly.
Belle shook her head with a laugh. "No, not really," she said, setting her glass on the nightstand. "Are we really going to do this?"
"If you want to," he agreed.
She did want to. The thought hit her suddenly and without question. She wanted a child, and she wanted Rumple, even if this was the last time. Even if she woke up tomorrow with her heart in shreds, she wanted this. She took Rumple's glass from his hand, placing it beside hers.
She nodded, twisting her now empty hands in her lap. "I want this, Rumple," she said, her voice firm and belying her nervous mannerisms. "I really want a baby."
The fact that she also wanted him seemed to hang in the air unsaid.
"Okay," he said.
Rumple just sat there, despite his assent. He was fiddling with the moonstone ring that he still wore on his left hand. He'd never removed it, or traded it back to a less conspicuous finger. He still wore the ring that signified their long ended marriage. How had she never noticed?
Belle heaved a sigh. This wouldn't work if they sat nervously fiddling with their own hands. They needed to close the space between them, the gaping chasm of air that separated them on the burgundy duvet.
"We could start with kissing," she prompted.
"Alright," Rumple agreed. He scooted forward on the bed, leaning in to press his lips against hers. But rather than stealing her breath and making her knees weak as his kisses once had, it was awkward as hell. He was so stiff.
She pulled away and Rumple leapt back as if burned, as if waiting for the moment when she would end things.
"Are you alright?" he asked, searching her face frantically.
"Yeah," Belle said. "It just…feels wrong."
Rumple's shoulders seemed to slump.
"I'm sorry," he began.
"Don't apologize," she cut across him. "Just kiss me again."
He closed the gap between them again, still stiff as could be. Instead of pulling away, Belle tried to work with it. She wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning in to the kiss, but Rumple wasn't giving her much to work with. His head was too wrapped up in this. He needed to just let loose.
With that in mind, Belle let her hands stray, scratching at his scalp before trailing down over his shoulders, his stomach, and finally reaching the waistband of his trousers.
"This isn't going to work," he exclaimed, jumping up from the bed and pacing the floor beside it.
"Well, can we at least try?" she fairly begged. They'd barely tried anything. They were both still dressed.
"Belle, there are certain biological things that need to happen in order for me to get you pregnant, and they are decidedly not happening."
"Oh," she said, her eyes flicking down to the front of his trousers and back up to his face. Well, that was an issue she hadn't quite considered. "Do you want me to try using my hand?"
"No I don't bloody well need a handjob," he said, raking a hand through his hair so it stood on end, glinting silver in the low lamplight. "I need a time machine."
And God what she wouldn't give for the same, a way to go back and save themselves from all the mistakes that had led to this.
"We used to be so good at this," she said, wrapping her arms around herself, feeling cold.
"Yeah, well, we were in love," he said with a shrug.
"Yes we were," she said with a nod, trying not to let the tears stinging her eyes fall.
And that was it, wasn't it? They couldn't have a quick and meaningless fuck. There was far too much history between them. But maybe they could recreate the perfect conditions.
"Sit down, Rumple," she pleaded, patting the bed beside her once more. "Please."
He gave a sigh before acquiescing, sitting beside her, closer this time, so she could reach out and touch him.
Belle grabbed his hand between both of hers, relishing the warmth of it, how big his hand was compared to hers. He always made her feel safe, like she was protected by his deceptively large hands.
She tugged at them until he turned to face her completely.
"Do you think that just for tonight, you could pretend you still love me?" she asked, carding her fingers through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp in the way he always used to love. She missed his hair, missed tangling her fingers in the long strands.
His eyes were wide, a trace of panic flitting across his features.
"Belle…" he began with a shake of his head, but she didn't want to hear it. Didn't want to know that he didn't love her, never would again. So she kissed him instead, pouring her heart and soul into it, gripping him to her until he melted, until his lips opened for her and she could plunder his mouth with her tongue.
A growl erupted from somewhere in the back of his throat and Belle redoubled her efforts. Gods, he tasted just the same. It had been so long since she'd been properly kissed and now that he was past his initial awkwardness, Rumple seemed intent on doing the job. He wrested control from her, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her thoroughly.
He maneuvered her back against the pillows, blanketing her body with his. She'd missed this, the feel of him above her, the weight of him pressing her into the mattress. She spread her legs, giving him room to settle between them. He seemed to have overcome his earlier problem. She could feel him hardening against her thigh and it thrilled her. It had been so long and she could feel her arousal growing, wetness pooling between her thighs, her cheeks flushing.
Rumple's hand gripped her thigh beneath her skirt, skimming up to her hip as his mouth trailed down her neck, pressing hot kisses to the column of her throat. There was far too much clothing separating them and she scrambled for the zipper on the side of her dress, beneath her arm.
Rumple pulled away to see what she was doing and she let out a slight whimper at the loss of his mouth on her.
"Yeah," he grunted, reaching to help her with the zipper. Together they managed to get it down and Rumple pulled away further to help her pull the dress up over her head and cast it aside.
Rumple's eyes darkened at the sight of her matching blue underwear set and she was suddenly glad for the extra effort she'd put in to tonight.
"Gods you're so beautiful," he said breathlessly, his hands reaching out to trail over her stomach almost reverently.
Belle could feel herself flush with pleasure. It had been years since she'd felt desired, since she'd honestly felt beautiful.
She didn't trust herself to speak, sure that she'd utter something she could never take back. Instead she reached up to cup his cheek with her hand, the pad of her thumb scratching over the slight stubble on his chin. She'd almost managed to forget how beautiful he looked like this, eyes darkened by lust, lips swollen from her kisses. How had she ever done without him?
She pulled him down for another kiss. Now that she'd gotten a taste she couldn't stop kissing him. He nipped at her bottom lip with his teeth and Belle gasped, his tongue twining with hers.
She yanked at the knot of his tie, eager to feel his skin against hers, to get as close to him as humanly possible.
"Too many clothes," she gasped against his mouth. It was her same old complaint, one she'd oft repeated during their marriage. Peeling away his many layers was fun when they had all the time in the world, but tonight they just got in the way. She was sure that if they waited too long, if they dragged this out, one or both of them would lose their nerve; the awkwardness would settle between them once again stealing away all traces of warmth and desire.
"I promise I haven't got better looking in the past four years," Rumple quipped, breaking away just long enough to tug his tie over his head before he was back on Belle.
"You've always been beautiful," Belle protested, cupping his cheek once again and dragging her thumb across his lower lip. "My Rumple."
Rumple turned his face, planting a chaste kiss to the inside of her wrist. And it was that motion more than any other that almost broke her. It was too gentle, too sweet. If he continued that way, she'd never keep her feelings to herself.
She needed to speed this up.
She set to work on the buttons at his throat, eager to bare his skin and trail her fingers over every beloved inch of him. With every pull of a button another inch of lightly tanned skin appeared. It was almost like the first time, her anticipation building. By the time Rumple pulled away to discard his cufflinks and shrug the shirt off his shoulders, she thought she might go mad with it.
She trailed her hands over his smooth chest, her fingers playing over his nipples and Rumple growled, collapsing back on top of her. He buried his face in her cleavage, breathing in her scent and cupping her breasts with his hands, kneading and squeezing.
"You've been driving me crazy all night Belle," he moaned against her skin, his mouth hot and wet against her sternum and his stubble scraping her sensitive flesh. "That dress. Why would you do that to me?"
Belle let out a surprised giggle, pleased that he'd appreciated her dress.
"Just wanted to look nice," she said.
"Sweetheart, you'd look nice in a paper sack," he murmured, pressing kisses to the tops of her breasts. "That dress was just unfair."
Rumple tugged at the straps of her bra, pulling the cups down until they freed her breasts to his gaze. With no further warning his mouth descended on her right breast, his lips latching around her nipple and suckling. His hand found her other breast, plucking at her nipple with his fingers and Belle moaned, arching her body into his.
She wanted to grip on to his hair, tug it and direct him where she wanted, but her arms were trapped by the straps of her bra, limiting her movement.
"Get it off," she whimpered.
Rumple pulled back, looking wild. "What?"
"My bra," she said, squirming beneath him. "Take it off."
Rumple looked relieved as he reached behind her to undo the clasp, quickly divesting her of it and slipping it the rest of the way down her arms. Belle took advantage of the freedom to bury her hands in the short strands of his hair, still so silky and soft even without the length.
Rumple planted a gentle kiss to her sternum before trailing his kisses downward, across her stomach. His tongue dipped into the hollow of her hipbone and then his nose nudged against the lacy edge of her panties. She was so caught up in the sensations he was causing, in the pure unadulterated pleasure of him, that it took her sluggish mind a moment to realize what he was doing.
Before she could stop him, Rumple had planted his mouth on her, his hot breath wet against her most sensitive places through the thin barrier of her panties. His hands were skimming over her curves before settling on her hips, pulling her more firmly against him.
God, she wanted to let him go ahead. She wanted him to go down on her until she screamed his name. She wanted to feel his tongue swirling against her clit until her teeth chattered. But she had to stop him.
"Wait, wait," she cried out, grabbing at his shoulders.
Rumple pulled back until he was sitting on the opposite side of the bed. "I'm sorry," he said immediately. "I shouldn't have."
"No," Belle interrupted him. She hated that he was apologizing for being generous. "You know how much I love when you do that. I love that you always offered. There's nothing to apologize for."
Rumple just nodded, still looking confused.
"It's just that saliva can slow down the sperm," she explained, recalling one of her many books on the subject. "It could lessen our chance of conception."
"Oh," Rumple said. He seemed to be drawing into himself again, a reminder of why exactly they were here and what the real reason for this night was. That wouldn't do. She couldn't have him going all stiff and formal on her again, not when things were going so well.
"Pretend you still love me, remember?" she prompted. "Can you just kiss me again?" she asked, hating how her voice sounded so uncertain.
"Aye," Rumple agreed.
He climbed back up beside her, settling next to her and pulling her into his arms. She cupped his face, kissing him deeply, coaxing him back to her and away from thoughts of tomorrow, of babies and contracts. Here and now was what they had, it was where they'd remain until they were forced out of the moment.
She could feel Rumple relaxing against her, his hands wandering over her skin. He dragged his fingers down the length of her arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. His hands slid around her, stroking down her back and playing along the groove of her spine before settling on her bottom, giving a firm squeeze.
Belle gasped into his mouth and Rumple trailed one hand up to her hip, pushing her on to her back and scooting up beside her, his cock nestled against her other hip. He slid his hand down over her belly and between her legs, slipping one finger beneath edge of her panties as his nose nuzzled beneath her ear.
"Is this allowed?" he breathed. Belle nodded furiously, the feel of his finger playing across her sensitive flesh driving her out of her mind with want. "Good."
He pulled his hand away and Belle bit back a whimper. But he just hooked his thumbs on the waistband of her panties, pulling them down off her legs and tossing them away. Then he resumed his position beside her. His warm hand cupped her mound and Belle stifled a moan at even that light touch. When he trailed one thick, blunt finger through her folds she couldn't hold it back anymore, her head rolled back and she gasped loudly.
"So wet," he said wonderingly. "Fuck, Belle, you're wet."
She just nodded, wishing he would touch her properly. As if reading her mind, Rumple slid one finger inside her and Belle let out a shuddering moan. He pressed kisses to her jaw, her neck, biting lightly at her shoulder. All the while he stroked her and Belle could feel her knees beginning to shake at the sensation of having any part of him inside her again. He added another finger, his thumb coming up to rub at her clit. It was too much, she was going to burst, explode from the tension of it all. She could feel herself building to her climax, the first at anyone's hand but her own in so damn long.
Her breath was coming out in shuddering gasps, her nipples hard and skin flushed pink. She was so close.
"Come for me, Belle," Rumple whispered against her ear, his accent thickened with lust. "Please, darling, can you come for me?"
She broke apart, the whole world condensing to nothing but the feel of Rumple's hand between her thighs. He continued to stroke her through her orgasm until it was too much against her sensitive flesh. She grabbed at his hand, stilling it as she fell back against the pillows feeling boneless and spent.
Rumple pulled his hand back, licking his fingers clean unabashedly and groaning at the taste of her.
"You're so beautiful when you come," he growled against her ear and Belle felt a shudder through her whole body, eager for more of him even in her post orgasmic state.
Rumple kept trailing his fingers up and down her side as she caught her breath, skimming over the swell of her breast down to the bend of her waist over her hip and down her thigh. His touch was electric, doing nothing to calm her but only keeping her on edge.
She wanted to return the favor, make him feel as good as he was doing to her. She cupped the rigid line of his cock, straining against the confines of his trousers.
Rumple groaned, pressing close to kiss her again, his lips warm and soft against hers. Then he pulled back, quickly kicking off his shoes and socks before pulling his trousers and boxers down in one swift movement and coming back to her side on the bed.
Belle's mouth went dry at the sight of Rumple completely naked for the first time in years. She glanced down to where his cock was nestled between them, thick and hard and begging for her attention. She took him in hand, stroking her thumb over the flushed head, already leaking in anticipation.
"Don't," Rumple commanded, gripping her hand with his. "I won't last."
Belle just nodded, letting him take control. He moved overtop her, settling between her legs once more. She could feel him against her core and she ached to have him inside her.
"Are you sure?" he asked, meeting her eyes as he braced himself on his forearms, his face just inches from hers.
"Yes, I want you," she protested, gripping at his back. "Please." She didn't even care that she'd abandoned all pretense that this was just for procreative purposes. She wanted him, needed him inside her, making her feel like no one else could. For now, she could just pretend that he still loved her, give in to the fantasy that this was real.
He pushed his hands through her hair as he kissed her, the scent of her clinging to his fingertips and she let loose a needy little moan, pulling him closer, clinging to him.
She thought he'd enter her then, push in and hold her close. But instead, Rumple rolled on to his back, pulling her over him to straddle him.
"Is this okay?" he asked, looking up at her.
"Yeah," she agreed. She didn't want to wait any longer, no more questions. She rose up on her knees, gripping his cock in her hand before lining them up and sliding home.
"Oh!" she exclaimed at the feel of him filling her up. Her head rolled back, her back arching. Rumple gripped on to her hips, his hips lifting off the mattress to press into her.
"God you feel so good," he moaned. His hands slid up from her waist, cupping her breasts, his calloused thumbs playing across her sensitive nipples and Belle couldn't keep still if she'd been commanded to.
She started to move, raising up on her knees before settling back on him again, rocking her hips against his. She braced her hands on his belly, her fingers playing in the springy dark hair that trailed down to his groin.
"God, Rumple," she cried out, her eyes slamming shut at the overwhelming sensations. He was everywhere, inside her, fondling her breasts, his scent enveloping her. Her mind was blank, finally, not a single thought of their situation or the awkwardness that would follow. It was just the two of them, finding their pleasure together like they always had.
She felt one of his hands leave her breast and find its way between her legs, his thumb settling against her clit, brushing against it with every thrust. Her thighs began to shake, sweat beading along her spine. She wasn't going to last much longer.
She quickened her pace, her hips grinding against his. Rumple was thrusting up beneath her, and she opened her eyes, locking on to his as she tightened around him, coming hard with a breathy cry.
Rumple gripped her hips, steadying her as she spasmed and collapsed against his chest feeling utterly boneless.
"Are you alright," he whispered into her hair, rubbing his hands soothingly down her back.
Belle could only nod against his neck, her voice not quite working yet. He was still hard inside her and she knew they needed to continue to make all of this worthwhile.
Rumple rolled her on to her back, settling her head on the pillows before he started thrusting again. One hand was in her hair, the other gripping the back of her knee, pulling it up so he could sink in to her as deep as possible. Belle pulled her other leg up, wrapping it around his waist and Rumple groaned, burying his head against her throat.
His movements were erratic, his pace quickening until the only sound in the room was their uneven panting and the slap of flesh against flesh. Belle could feel him impossibly hard inside her grinding against her overly sensitive flesh, he was close and so was she, amazing as the prospect was.
Rumple pushed her knee up against her chest his hips slamming in to hers as he finally lost all control, his cock pulsing deep inside her, filling her up. She broke again with a cry, her orgasm rolling over her sharp and bright. Rumple was no less vocal, grunting and shouting before finally stilling, collapsing against her and his weight pressing her into the bed.
They lay there catching their breath and recovering before Rumple finally rolled off of her with a muttered apology. She could feel his seed sticky between her thighs and gave a thought to what they were really there for. She hoped this worked.
"Holy fuck," she breathed after a moment.
"Yeah," Rumple agreed from beside her.
They lay there in stunned silence, the sort of silence that follows a sudden and unexpected outburst of passion. Belle felt unreasonably shy and embarrassed in the aftermath, an altogether incongruous reaction considering everything they'd just done together.
"Thank you," she said suddenly, flinching at how stupid the words sounded. "I mean, thank you for agreeing…I hope this works," she finished lamely, biting her lip to keep any more word vomit from bubbling out of her.
Rumple glanced over at her from beneath raised eyebrows.
"You're quite welcome."
She thought she detected a slight smugness. He was quite proud of himself. Rolling on to her side, she propped herself up on her elbow, eager to explore this new mood of his.
"We're pretty good at that," she prompted.
"Like riding a bike," Rumple said. "Muscle memory or something like that."
"I don't actually know how to ride a bike," she pointed out. It was one of those modern world things she'd never quite mastered. Not even her Lacey memories covered that one.
"Well, sweetheart," Rumple said languidly. "I think you could proficiently ride anything you put your mind to."
Belle snorted at the innuendo. Counter to what she'd thought, this was quite possibly the most natural they'd been around each other in years. Perhaps they should have slept together ages ago.
"I miss your hair," she said suddenly, rubbing her hand through the short silver strands. "I mean it looks good this way too, I just always really loved your hair."
Rumple shrugged. "It's easier to manage this way, especially when Gid was a baby."
"True," Belle conceded. She well remembered Gideon yanking on her hair when he was younger. "If I get pregnant, maybe I should chop mine all off too."
Rumple's eyes widened, pushing up on his elbows. "Don't do that," he exclaimed.
Belle smirked. "Why not? You don't think I'd look good with a pixie cut like Snow?"
Rumple wrinkled his nose. "You have beautiful hair," he said, reaching out to pull on a tendril hanging over her shoulder. "I just think it'd be a shame to deprive the world of it. But if you really want to cut it, that's your decision."
Belle flopped back against the pillows again, comfortable in the beat of silence that followed. It was nice to not feel like she had to fill the silence for once. Now that her body had cooled from their earlier exertion she was cold and she shivered, wrapping her arms around herself. She was about to suggest they move under the covers, but then thought better of it. She probably shouldn't actually spend the night.
"I guess I should go," she said regretfully. Honestly she was exhausted and would have liked nothing more than to curl up next to Rumple and sleep for several hours. But that felt too familiar for what this was. She'd promised him no more sleepovers after the awkwardness that followed their last one so many months ago. She couldn't go back on that now.
"You don't have to," Rumple said, his voice little more than a whisper. "Gideon is with Granny for the night. There's no reason you can't stay."
It would be so easy, easy to pretend as she had in bed. Easy to let herself get lost in the fantasy. But it would make the morning that much harder when Rumple became cold and closed off once again.
"I think we both know that's not true," she said sadly.
Rumple didn't say anything, just rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling, his face unreadable.
Belle sat up, glancing around for her clothes. They'd ended up scattered around the bedroom and she stood self-consciously, suddenly excruciatingly aware of her nakedness as she darted to where her panties were lying next to the dresser. She pulled them back on, glancing over her shoulder to where Rumple was still laying on the bed silently.
And she realized she didn't want to leave. And she didn't have to.
Why the fuck were they making themselves so miserable when they obviously both wanted at least this much out of their relationship?
Rumple's arms were crossed against his chest, his eyes fixated unblinkingly on one spot on the ceiling. He looked sad, his eyes glinting in the low lamplight with what she thought may have been tears. She didn't want to hurt him. She didn't want to go home and cry herself to sleep for what they'd lost.
She would pretend, just a little bit longer.
"We, um, should probably try again though," she said, her voice cutting through the room and startling Rumple so he finally looked her way. "I mean, to make sure we have the best chance of conceiving."
He didn't answer, just looked at her with his mouth hanging slightly open.
"It makes sense that the more arrows you fire the better chance of hitting the target, right?" she said, wincing at her own euphemism.
Rumple's eyebrows rose as he sat up fully on the bed. "That seems rational."
"And we've already done it once, what's another time?" she continued. "It's not like we could make things more awkward. We've already committed."
"Belle, I'm agreeing," he cut across her rambling. "You don't have to convince me."
"Oh," she said, still just standing in the middle of the room in nothing but her panties.
"Would you like to come back to bed?" he offered.
Belle just nodded. There was no way she wasn't going to regret this in the morning, but for now she followed her heart.