Ok, I admit this should have been updated yesterday... My only excuse is that I was reading a really good LietBel fanfiction called "Dancing Sunflowers", and that distracted me. So, if you want to know why Shadow got distracted, go read that. (Go read it anyways. It's amazing.)
Guest: Thank you for the review! Hmm, I hadn't intended it to be that sad, but I guess it kind of is a little bit... (I'm weird too. We can be weird together. ;) ) I'm glad you liked that scene! I had been a little worried about how it turned out. Yeah, I guess Estonia could go either way. (I never thought of that! And I hate waking up early, so one would think... XD)
Chapter Seven:
Lithuania paused for a moment before he opened the door to Estonia's room. He was frightened, although he didn't want to admit it.
"What if he's still as crazy as he was last night?" the brunet Baltic thought, "I can't handle him like that!"
But there was one upside, and that was the fact that Estonia would be unarmed this time. And so would Lithuania. He would not make the mistake of killing his friend twice.
He looked back, down the long hallway, but all he saw was a flash of blue clothes as Belarus disappeared around the corner. Lithuania sighed, and then knocked on Estonia's door. There was no answer, and after knocking once more, he pushed the door open.
Estonia was sitting on the bed, hugging his legs to his chest, and staring blankly off into space. He didn't seem to register Lithuania's presence at all.
"Estonia?" Lithuania said softly.
He saw Estonia stiffen, but for a moment, he was still not sure that the other nation had heard him. Then, Estonia looked over at him, and Lithuania saw in his friend's eyes confusion, fear, pain, and…betrayal.
"D-don't touch me!" Estonia whispered. "Go away!"
"Estonia…" Lithuania murmured. Moving slowly, he approached the other nation, only to have Estonia cower away into the corner.
Lithuania waited, hoping Estonia's demeanor would change. But there was nothing. No sound, no movement, only shaking. Estonia was shaking a great deal, and it worried Lithuania. He could not remember a time when Estonia had been this frightened…and certainly never a time when the blonde Baltic was frightened of him!
"May I sit down?" he said softly. Estonia shook his head, and the shaking increased. Another strange thing, Lithuania realized, was the fact that Estonia refused to look at him.
"Estonia, please…" Lithuania said, placing his hand on the other nation's shoulder.
"Y-you stabbed me," Estonia whispered. He sounded so young, in that moment, that Lithuania was certain he felt his heart break.
"I…I've played a role in destroying…a child."
"I didn't want to," he whispered, and suddenly, Estonia's head snapped up. The blonde Baltic's foot shot out, and caught Lithuania in the midsection. Shocked, Lithuania fell backwards onto the floor, hitting his head in the process.
He cried out in pain, and for a moment, he couldn't move. By the time he recovered himself, Estonia was kneeling next to him, his expression desperate and confused.
"You stabbed me," the blonde Baltic repeated. "Why?"
Lithuania tried to order his thoughts, tried to think of a way to explain everything to Estonia. Apparently, he wasn't quick enough, because the next thing he knew, someone was pulling him up into a sitting position. Estonia was staring at him now, and he looked angry. Gone was the fear, gone was the child that Lithuania had just seen. The childishness and fear had been replaced by hurt and anger.
"Why did you do that?" Estonia repeated, his voice growing louder.
"I didn't want to, but…" Lithuania said, "Estonia… Why did you do what you did? Why did you try to kill Russia?"
Estonia was silent for a long moment, and when he spoke again, Lithuania no longer recognized his voice.
"Why did I do it?" he said slowly, "Why do you think?!"
"I don't know," Lithuania murmured, "I'm trying to understand."
"You don't understand?" Estonia said. He paused for a moment, and then continued, his voice rising with every word.
"I did it for you, you bastard! Everything I did, I was trying to save you, and you turned around and stabbed me like it was nothing! Russia was right, you really don't care about me, do you?"
He shook Lithuania, apparently wanting a response, but Lithuania could only stare at him in shock.
"Do you care?!" Estonia repeated, "You can't say you do, not after what you did! You…you killed me… Why…?"
Estonia let go of Lithuania's shoulders then, and moved back toward his corner.
"I did it because what you wanted to do wouldn't have worked," Lithuania said, "All that you were trying to do would have hurt a bunch of innocent people… You have to understand that…"
"So Russia is more innocent than I am, than you are, than Latvia is?" Estonia spat, "Is that it? You're still taking his side!"
"Russia doesn't understand what he's doing anymore than you do," Lithuania said, "He thinks he's helping, but you can't help him see the truth by doing to him what he does to us."
He paused for a moment, and then continued more softly, more to himself then to Estonia.
"Really…in a way…you're a lot like him now."
"Don't you dare compare me to him!" Estonia screamed. The blonde Baltic was on his feet in a moment, glaring down at Lithuania.
"I am nothing like Russia!" Estonia shouted, "Don't ever say I am, or I'll hurt you! I don't care who's there to see it, compare me to that man, and I will kill you!"
"Estonia!" Lithuania gasped, "Can you even hear yourself right now? You can't go around killing people! That doesn't fix anything; it'll only make you hate yourself!"
Estonia glared at him, and Lithuania started to feel as if this entire thing had been absolutely pointless.
"If you're going to take Russia's side," Estonia hissed, "Get out! I don't want to talk to you!"
"Eduard, I am not taking Russia's side!" Lithuania cried, "I'm only trying to help you understand…"
"All I need to understand," Estonia snapped, "Is that you never cared about me."
"W-what?" Lithuania gasped, "What are you saying?"
"Exactly what it sounds like," Estonia said. The blonde Baltic bent down and, grabbing Lithuania by the collar, pulled him up so that they were nearly on the same eye level.
"You have never cared about me," Estonia said slowly, pronouncing every syllable slowly and carefully, "Never!"
"Estonia, that's a lie!" Lithuania cried, "Who told you that?"
"No one told me," Estonia said, "I figured it out for myself."
"Russia told you," Lithuania whispered, "One of those times when he had you alone, he lied to you, and you believed him. Estonia… Eduard… You're my friend, you're like my brother… How could I not care about you?"
"If you cared about me," Estonia said, "You wouldn't have hurt me!"
"I didn't want to!" Lithuania moaned, "I had no choice. If you were willing to shoot me, you might have done the same to Latvia… Estonia, I am not the one who wants to hurt you! Russia wanted to hurt you, so he lied to you and told you I didn't care about you. But I do, I care so much, and it hurts me to see you like this… I want to help you…"
"Stop lying to me!" Estonia screamed. He let go of Lithuania's shirt, causing the other nation to fall back onto the ground. However, Lithuania was closer to the wall now, and so he fell into more or less a sitting position.
"All you do is hurt me!" Estonia hissed, "Maybe I should hurt you, and see how you like it!"
"Do what you want, Eduard," Lithuania whispered, looking up at the younger Baltic, "I won't fight you. I'm not going to hurt you anymore."
Estonia stared at him for a long moment, and there was a childish confusion mixed with the anger in his eyes that hurt Lithuania more than any physical wounds could.
"Leave," Estonia said finally, "Leave now, and don't come back."
"I have orders…" Lithuania said, "To lock you in here."
"Then do it," Estonia said, "Just leave me alone!"
And, trying to ignore how much his heart was breaking, Lithuania did.
Lithuania managed to keep calm until he reached his room. Then, unable to stop himself, he threw himself onto the bed, crying.
"I'm such an idiot… I ruined everything… I'm so sorry… Estonia… I…"
"Lithuania?" a small, scared voice asked. Latvia.
"Go downstairs," Lithuania said, "Go downstairs and tell Russia that I said to hell with all the chores."
"I'm not doing that!" Latvia squeaked, sounding extremely frightened, "What's wrong with you?"
Lithuania looked up, then, and saw how small and frightened Latvia looked. And then he remembered that he hadn't completely failed, not yet. As long as Latvia was safe and still had his sanity, that meant Lithuania hadn't completely failed to protect the people he cared about more than anything else.
"There's nothing wrong," he said, smiling in spite of himself, and quickly running a hand over his eyes to erase his tears, "Come on, let's go downstairs. It's already a little bit late, so we should get to work quickly."
Latvia looked as if he didn't quite believe that everything was okay, but Lithuania made sure to smile as much as possible…even though the last thing he wanted to do at the moment was pretend everything was okay.
But he was dreading the inevitable moment that Latvia would ask where Estonia was more than he had ever dreaded anything in his life.
Estonia couldn't figure it out. He had been completely sure that Lithuania didn't care about him at all, that the other Baltic had never cared.
But he kept on remembering the kind look in Lithuania's eyes as he looked up at him, his soft, quiet voice…
"Do what you want, Eduard. I won't fight you. I'm not going to hurt you anymore."
"Am I right?" Estonia said to himself, "Do they really not care…? Or…or… No, he doesn't care, he doesn't care about me! If he cared, then he would have stabbed Russia instead of me… Right?"
He was confused, and scared, and he kept on seeing the blade of that knife flash as Lithuania lunged at him. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the same thing. But with his eyes open, he saw kindness in his friend's eyes, and he felt guilty about what he had almost done to Lithuania.
"But I'm not like Russia! No matter what he says, I am nothing like Russia. For him to say that means he doesn't care. He just wants to hurt me, like everybody else… He just wants to hurt me… He doesn't care… Does he?"
So, that's a chapter. Hopefully, the next one will be up on Wednesday. Also, the next chapter is probably going to be really long. I'm still working out exactly how it's going to go, but currently, it's at around 3,500 words.
And after that chapter, I am almost completely positive that Latvia will FINALLY do something! If he doesn't, I'm going to lock him in his room so I don't have to worry about him anymore...