Can I be your Love?
Chapter 7
For the second morning in a row, Hermione woke, not in her own bed, but in the arms of Draco Malfoy. Never before did she sleep in the same direct area as boys and then, BAM, here she was, two nights in a row in the embrace of 'the enemy.'
Except he wasn't the enemy. He was far from it now. He was human, he talked with her, laughed with her, held her. And from what she saw last night, she knew just how vulnerable he was, his fragility, and his need for someone else. Hermione had naively assumed that everyone had someone they could cry to, who would hug them in silence and ease their pain. She was wrong. Seeing someone without that kind of someone else had cut her deep, creating a ravine of sorrow in her chest.
She would help him. Even if it was just to say "good morning" and "good night". Or even to just take the arguments and insults he would use to purge his soul.
Looking at him, Hermione took in his sharp features, his jaw and chin, his nose and cheekbones. But there were softening lines, the natural curve of his eyebrows, his long eyelashes, the shape of his mouth. She noticed the wrinkles furrowing between his eyes and how they reached his forehead, disappearing in his messy blonde hair. He must have tossed and turned in his sleep because his blankets were wrinkled and pillows were strewn over the bed.
With a couple of fingers, which she checked to make sure they were warm, Hermione rubbed them lightly on his forehead. An attempt to undo the wrinkles that had formed over the night. When he shifted, she finally recognized the weight on her. His arm was holding her to him and he had somehow managed to pull whatever blanket that was hanging over the edge of the bed to cover her curled body.
She continued to massage his forehead, but only succeeded in him burrowing his face into the crook of her neck and pulling her closer to his chest. There wasn't much she could do. She was wrapped up in the blanket like a burrito and barely had one hand free. Letting her fingers drop, it fell to his hair, so she occupied herself by playing with the golden locks.
The night before, she merely petted the top of his head with the rougher, palm side of her hand. Now that she was running her fingers through his hair, she felt how thin each silken strand was and she marveled at the comparison to her own thick hair.
"Hm…" Draco stirred, trying to say something in his mostly slumbering state.
"Good morning, Draco." Hermione removed her fingers from his hair and brushed it from his eyes as he pulled his head back.
"Hermione?" He looked confused as his mind tried to process through the haze of sleep. Then he let out a sigh and pressed his head on her shoulder before saying, "I was worried that you would leave in the middle of the night."
"I couldn't if I wanted to." She smiled and shifted, making her point when his hand held onto her tighter. "But I didn't want to leave anyway."
When Draco finally realized that it was his hand and arm keeping her in place and that it was sore from trying to pull her towards him, he let go. Rolling away from her, Draco lay on his back, staring at the canopy hanging above him.
"Were you able to sleep okay?" Hermione rolled and stretched on her stomach, her toes curling when they peeped out from under the blanket and the cold air nipped them.
"Some."
"My snoring didn't bother you, did it?" Hermione gave a small smile.
"No snoring." Draco tried to give her some semblance of a smile, but fell short. "You didn't move at all, actually."
"I think I was worried that I would fall off the bed." Tentatively, Hermione pulled the blankets off her and shivered at the cold air. She sat up and ran her hands through her hair, trying to shake out the tangles and failing miserably. It was as if tangles were creatures that crawled into her hair while she slept, even if she didn't move at all.
"You leaving?" Draco didn't look directly at her, but chose to focus on a point somewhere behind her.
"Just to go to the bathroom." Hermione paused. "Do you want me to come back?"
"No…That's not necessary." Draco dragged himself into a sitting position, hair sticking up in all directions. "I'll just…"
"How about we get dressed and get some breakfast? It's a little early, but you can take your time." Hermione waited for his nod before disappearing into the bathroom. When she went into her room to get changed, the shower turned on. She took her time getting dressed and dragging her brush through her hair.
Draco shuffled around in his room before appearing downstairs where Hermione waited. His hair was still damp, but Hermione could tell that he had run gel through it so it wouldn't be a repeat of his "just woke up" hair.
"Ready?" Hermione pulled on her robe with her Head badge and opened the door for him. He trudged through trying not to sigh ever few steps. "Shall we eat at the Head and Prefect table today?"
As an extra perk for the Heads and Prefects, there was a table set aside for those in the positions. It was also said to cultivate the relationship between the people, sometimes even being used to discipline pairs that were not getting along with each other.
"Are you asking me on a date, Miss Granger?" Draco teased her with a spark of his usual arrogance.
"Perhaps. Are you accepting the invitation?" Hermione felt her heart rise a little as Draco picked up his pace to match her steps.
"Who would turn down a date offered by the most sought after Head Girl?" Draco lead the way into the Great Hall. "I wouldn't."
The hall was completely empty. Hermione looked at her watch and blanched. If it was that early, then maybe the house elves hadn't finished preparing for the students.
Draco pulled Hermione's chair out for her and helped her settle before taking the seat to her right. Unlike the long tables on the main floor, the Heads' had simple wooden chairs. Sometimes, Draco would eat at the Heads' table just so he could lean back during a meal.
He utilized that feature as he sat down. There were no arms on the chair, so he just folded his hands over his stomach and leaned back. The silence in the hall was deafening. Suddenly, a side door to Hermione's left opened and Severus Snape walked in. Hermione shifted in her seat, as if she could meld into the wood if she fit just right into it.
"Draco. We need to talk." Snape's voice sounded raw and tight.
"Okay." Draco made no effort to move. From the side of his vision, Draco saw Hermione's gaze flicker between the professor and himself. "What is it?"
"Not here." Snape's gaze landed pointedly on Hermione briefly. "In private."
"I'm not moving, Professor." The title was strained. As was Snape's glare at Hermione's head.
"I'll just step outside." Hermione started to push her chair back, but stopped as Draco put a firm hand on it.
"Is it Mother?"
A curt nod.
"Then she stays. We live together and she's already getting affected by it. She might as well hear this now." Draco caught and held her eyes, silently asking her to stay. Her body relaxed and she offered her hand. He took it.
As Draco turned to look back up to Snape, he saw Hermione look down at the table, giving Snape the ability to break his news.
"Your mother is in a coma, Draco." The words registered slowly in Draco's mind and as thoughts rampaged in his mind, his fingers tightened around Hermione's. Snape continued, "I caught the news just this morning. She's stable, but there's no telling what her mind is like right now."
"Is she at a hospital?"
"They moved her when I got the message. She's in capable hands. But you won't be able to visit her." Snape actually sounded regretful. "You are—"
"—Head Boy. I have responsibilities here." A slow intake of breath shuddered slightly in his chest. "Thank you, Uncle Sev, for telling me."
Snape nodded to Draco, threw an indecipherable look at Hermione, which she caught, and swept out of the hall. When the door fell shut, Hermione swiveled to look at Draco, whose head had dropped. His posture was that of dejection. Much like how he had walked during the patrol the previous night. Clearly, his mother's condition was the cause to his worried expression.
"Hey." Draco turned his head to look sidelong at Hermione as she caught his attention. "Was this what was bothering you yesterday?"
He turned to face her, his legs brushing hers as he shifted. Hermione pushed down the small blush on her cheeks. This was not the time for those emotions. But his knees sandwiching hers were a definite distraction. Mentally shaking her head, she focused back on the bleak situation at hand.
"I didn't know what to say. Or what to do." Draco took her other hand and held them on their knees. "Father is in jail. And now, Mother… I just never knew."
"War is something fought by different sides. We're closer to this war than most people." Hermione rubbed his hands with her thumbs in comforting circles. "And when our family gets affected by it, we get hurt too."
"Are you saying this is natural?" Draco looked like a lost stray cat out in the rain.
"It proves how much you love your parents. And your emotions are understandable." Hermione took a deep breath. She had never had to play such an important counseling role before. "It is natural, but more importantly: it naturally comes and goes."
He nodded and sighed. It was the first time this had ever happened to him. He couldn't even name most of the feelings that passed through him. What Hermione was saying made sense on a logical level, even if he had never contemplated them for himself.
The large doors opened at the end of the hall and Draco sat back, leaving one hand in Hermione's as he pulled it into his lap. Hermione did not look like she minded, but Draco was grateful that there was a table cloth to hide it from the other students.
Breakfast appeared on the tables in front of them and Draco slowly released his grip on Hermione's hand. She gave his a pat before leaning forward to pour hot chocolate for him. The surprised look on Draco's face made Hermione smile a little.
"Hot chocolate is medicine. It makes the hurt inside feel a little less." She poured some for herself as she looked up at the doors as students yawned their ways in. There still wasn't any news on Harry and Ron, so, like clockwork, Hermione's eyes would shift to the door whenever someone walked in.
As the early risers ate, Draco pushed his breakfast around on his plate with his fork and Hermione leisurely ate her cereal and fruit.
"What are your plans for today, Hermione?" Draco didn't look up from his plate, so he didn't see Hermione turn to study his face.
"I wasn't planning on much. There's some studying that I wanted to get done. Why? Was there something you wanted to do?"
"Could you… help me? With Transfiguration?" Draco was having a hard time dealing with a particularly tricky spell. "You're the only person who actually understands what is taught."
"Sure." Hermione saw him struggling with the spell during the class time. "There's plenty of study rooms open. I think I need to go over the explanation again. The professor was a little… convoluted in his explanation."
The professor that was sent to the school to replace Professor McGonagall when she took the Headmistress position was an underpaid desk attendant at the Ministry. They were stationed at the school because the human resources department saw that they excelled in the class and liked children. There was nothing about their ability to teach. That was learned the hard way by the students.
"Yeah…" Draco routinely tuned the professor out during class. Choosing to focus on something more interesting. Like Hermione, the clouds outside the window, the cats walking in the hall, or the dust accumulating in the corner.
"Eat what's on your plate, then we can go."
Draco didn't even realize that he was being mothered. But he ate at a steady pace until his plate was clean and his mug was empty.
"Done." Draco wiped his mouth and put his napkin on the table. Turning to the side, he saw Hermione set her mug down with a satisfied sigh.
"Okay. We can go, if you're ready." Draco nodded at her words and stood to help Hermione out of her own chair. "I need to grab some stuff from the rooms. Did you want to find a study room?"
"I'll go with you." Draco said. His mostly empty Transfiguration notebook was needed. As was the textbook.
The hall was still mostly empty, but Hermione said good morning to a few students who waved to her. She was very well liked by the studious children of the lower years. Even when she would scold them for breaking the rules, there were times that Draco would swear there was admiration in their eyes.
"Hermione!" A blonde girl waved at the Head Girl. Draco recognized her, Loony Lovegood.
"Luna, good morning." Hermione greeted the Ravenclaw girl. "You're up early."
"Never went to sleep." Luna yawned and shook out her troublesome hair. "My housemates were playing a game and I didn't get any rest."
"It's bound to happen during break. Even us Heads can't break up a party during vacation days." Hermione smiled apologetically.
"Well, I'm going to eat and sleep. See you later, Hermione." With a wave, Luna entered the Great Hall and dreamily wandered to her table.
The two Heads walked back to their common room and split in order to gather their belongings into their book bags. Hermione was tearing apart her study table in the common room looking for chalk when Draco stepped off the stairs to his room.
"Chalk is in the bottom left drawer of your desk." Draco stepped around the couch to pick up his quill set before setting it into his bag.
The sound of the drawer filled the room and her short breath of exasperation.
"How did you know that I was looking for chalk? And how did you know where it was?" Hermione latched her bag closed and turned to Draco where he waited by the door.
"You always take chalk when you go to a study room. And last time you came home from one you were really tired. You put the chalk in the bottom drawer by mistake." Draco motioned for Hermione to organize her desk before leaving. She rushed to put everything back into place.
They walked together in silence to the study rooms. More people were filing towards the Great Hall for breakfast and most shuffled past the Heads quickly and quietly. A few would greet them with a generic "good morning," though they were mostly directed to Hermione.
A few girls glared at Hermione and fluttered their eyelashes at Draco. When the Head Boy did nothing in response, the girls threw even dirtier looks at Hermione.
"Nice to know I'm appreciated." Hermione mumbled to herself.
"I appreciate you." Draco smiled at her. "Without the sarcasm you seem to be so inclined to use."
"Thanks." Hermione turned away so he wouldn't see her embarrassment.
When Hermione reached for the first study room door, she noticed that Draco continued to walk down the hall.
"Where are you going?" Hermione trotted to catch up with him.
"Your usual room." Draco opened a door at the far end of the hall. "It's quieter here, right? And the light stays better longer."
"How… do you know about all this?" Hermione looked at Draco in surprise.
"I used to get bored. And sometimes I like studying somewhere quiet, that isn't my room. But all the study rooms are full of students talking." Draco opened the door to her study space and let her in. "Your room was always the quietest. But there was no way I would have been able to study in there with you."
"Why not? I don't have strange studying habits." Hermione knew of the many odd habits that people would have while studying. Ron would grind his teeth. Harry would hum. Ginny would tap her fingers.
"How was I supposed to study if you're in the same room? There's a reason why I never study at the desk in the common room." Draco placed his bag at a desk and pulled the blackboard to the front. "Watching you is always the best distraction I can find."
"Well, you're going to have to stay not distracted if you want to be tutored by me. I'm a strict teacher." Hermione placed her bag on the front desk closest to the blackboard and started to set up.
"Ooh, naughty teacher. Hermione, you little minx." Draco's sly smile graced his lips. "You can put me in detention any time you want. But only if you're going to be in charge."
"You're feeling better already. I can tell. But it's going to take more than mere distractions for you to overcome this." Hermione didn't want to be a bucket of ice water on his good mood, but she needed to make sure that he wasn't about to brush aside his emotions.
"I know. But for right now… Can we just study?" Draco opened his inkwell and prepped his quill.
"Of course." Hermione lined up her chalk pieces and opened her book. "Let's start on page 351."
Author's Notes: Please bear with me as I work through Draco's situation. It'll be all lovey soon enough. But as with Jane Austen's characters, there is little point to love if they don't have a little hardship first, right?
As always, reviews are appreciated!