I don`t own twilight

Regarding the issue if Bella and Jasper will fall in love in this story:

Yes, they will and I wouldn`t have it any other way. I just want to explore it a little slower because I don`t feel comfortable in letting them loose the love of their life the one day and finding another one the next. I want to try it slow even if they probably are already attracted to another but to coward and still a bit broken to realize and admit it to themselves. But it will happen, after all, this is Jasper we are talking here about ;)

Hope you enjoy it and again, Thanks for all the reviews


„What`s wrong?" Jasper's voice startled her.

„Nothing!" She sighted. „It`s stupid!"

„The amount of feelings cursing through you says different, it can`t be so unimportant! Tell me!"

„It`s really nothing! I am probably just overreacting!" She hesitated before she continued. „I just have called Jacob! I wanted to ask him if he is up to see another movie with us!"

„And what did he say?"

„He didn`t say anything! I didn`t talk to him! Or better, Billy wouldn`t let me talk to him!"

„I don`t understand!"

„Apparently Jacob is ill! Billy said he must have caught something the day Charlie and I were over at the rez! But he seemed completely fine when I left!"

„So, humans do get ill! I am sure it is nothing big!"

„Yeah, it is more the way Billy said it, you know! It is just a feeling, like something is up! Like he didn`t want me to talk to him!"

„Stop worrying about it, Bella! I am sure Jacob will be fine! You two are great friends and Billy likes you! Why would he not want you to talk to him an why would Jacob suddenly stop talking to you!"

„`s not like that wouldn`t have happened before!" She mumbled under her breath but he had heard it. A wave of fear and rejection came with her bitter words and he needed a second to cope with them. He silently cursed Edward for the damage he had done before he answered.

„Please stop thinking that, Bella! Jacob would never do something like that to you! He adores you! He thinks of you like a sister! He wouldn`t hurt you!"

Jasper sent her a wave of calmness and insurance towards her and she nodded thankful.

„Yeah, you are right, I said I was overreacting."

She turned around to him again.

„So, what are our plans for this weekend? Charlie went on another fishing trip and won`t be home before Sunday evening! I am looking forward to it with horror! Seriously, how much fish do you need in a household of two people!" She tried to joke to help ease it away.

„Maybe you should suggest him to just throw them back when he got one!"

„I don`t think he would be open for that idea!"

„Probably! Anyway, I thought, maybe you would like to come over to my place! Most of the books arrived and you could help me storing them!"

Her face lighted up for real this time.

„I would love to!" Her voice sang with excitement. „And it would be nice to see, how your apartment looks like! Is it any like your old house or..?"

„Not, exactly! It`s different but it`s ok, I guess!" He shrugged his shoulders while she got her shoes and her jacket.

„Ok, I am ready, let`s go!"

They had reached the house it was in in no time and when he had opened the door for her she was struck with awe once again.

`It`s ok, I guess!`His statement came back to her and she shock her head.

`OK?! Is he serious or just mocking me?`

It was the penthouse of one of the old buildings in Forks and Bella was sure it had cost a fortune. But he was right with the point that it was different. The Cullens house had been built in a new architecture while this was in an old victorian style. The living room was big and there was a stone fireplace in the middle of one wall. The ceiling was ornate with stucco and the furniture matched the style. There were big windows that showed a view over half of the town and towards the woods and a glass door lead the way to a balcony. The only modern thing in the room was the big flat screen tv and the media station.

„You are coming inside and want to see the rest or you planning on staying there forever?" He joked and brought her out of her thoughts.

„I....WoW!" Was all she could say when she found her voice again.

„So, I can take this as you like it?" He laughed again and earned a glare.

„Hm, probably should have expected this! Tell me, are all vampires like that or is it a Cullen thing to spend lots and lots of money?"

He looked at her for a minute as if he would try to come to a decision.

„No, not all vampires are like that!" He took another breath and than continued. „But I think that my reasons why i do so are different from the Cullens!"

She realized how seperating it had sounded when he talked about him and them but let it go and focused on what he had said with words and not with the tune.

„What do you mean?"

Jasper gazed in her eyes and took another breath before he turned his back to her and walked further in the room towards the window.

„I am sorry, Jasper, I didn`t mean....I didn`t want to offend you or something!"

„You didn`t offend me, Bella! Just give me a moment to find the right words!"

Jasper stared out of the window and watched the people on the streets for another moment.

„When I said not all vampires are like that, Bella, I didn`t say that out of knowledge but experience! My life before, i told you it wasn't a pleasant one! It was, well, i lived very spartan! In every way of the word. There was a lot of fighting, a lot of pain and death! I never really enjoyed life or unlife for what it was and I did what I was told and taught to do. The things that came close to enjoyment" he stopped for a moment „well, I wouldn`t recommend it as a purpose in life! The reason why i left was because i wanted to change that. I didn´t want to exist like that anymore! And believe me when i tell you it was more an existence than a life even when i thought different then! But for the first years it was more clouded by my depressions and the aftermath of my life before. That changed when i meet Alice and then the Cullens. They taught me a way and philosophy that helped me get around the way i wanted it too and well, i could finally start living. Really having a life! I swore to myself that i would make the most and best of everything. You see, by living the way i do now; by spending money for homes or the best of what ever I want to have I remind myself! I remind myself everyday of the point! It helps me keeping it together and staying on my path because it shows me how different my life became and how grateful i should be for that! For a century there wasn`t a place in my life for books or movies or things like that and i wanted to get that back, a bit of humanity, to improve it, to make up for it! And that`s one of the reasons why your quote from Wilde about life and existing startled me yesterday for a moment! It summed it up pretty good!"

Jasper finally stopped and Bella was taken aback by his words. Not because she was afraid or shocked by what he told her but by the emotions his voice had shown while he did so. He had let her in and trusted her with something she knew was hard for him. She also knew that he had skipped the worst part and merely hinted on it. But she didn`t care. She knew he hadn`t done it out of protection - like someone else who shall stay unnamed at this point - but because it clearly was hard for him to speak about it. And she was grateful he had told her and had given her another piece of the puzzle Jasper Whitlock Hales was to her.

Before he or even she herself knew what she was doing she came over to him and took him in a deep embracement. She didn`t know what to say to him so she communicated in his way and let him feel the emotions his words had awoken in her. He returned her hug for a moment before he stepped back and smiled at her.

„Thank you!" He told her sincerely and she gave him a smile before his lips formed a smirk.

„Do me a favor and keep that in mind when I show you the next room, ok!"

„Why? What is in the next room?"

„You`ll see! Don`t start yelling, please!"

With that he opened the door and revealed a room, half the size of the living room. It had the same architecture and his ceiling was even more beautiful ornamented. Every inch of the wall was covered with old colonial wooden book shelves but for one spot in the middle where another big stone fireplace was. A few meters in front of it stood a big black leather couch and an comfy looking armchair next to it. The windows reached from the bottom to the ceiling and four huge dark-red curtains were bounded and placed along the glass wall. To her left an oriel rounded the corner with a big seating bench following under the window and lots of pillows on top of it. She knew instantly that this would become her favourite place in his apartment.

„Wow, this is beautiful!" She smiled and then added. „Forget the bookshop, I am moving in here!"

„You are always welcome, darling!" Once again his southern drawl had shown more clear in his tongue and turned her stomach upside down in a nice way. Then, suddenly she felt embarrassed over her words but that was only until she saw the dozens of boxes in the back corner.

„Oh no! Jasper, don`t tell me you got every book!"

He smiled sheepish at her and nodded.

„Would be a waste and shame if I could fill only half of the shelves now, would it?!"

She shock her head and sighted. How could she say anything after what he had just told her about his life?!

„Well, my mother would say `at least you didn`t spend your money on drugs like the other kids nowadays`!"

She earned another laugh for his words and they started unpacking.

Jasper's loud laugh filled once again the room and startled her for a moment.

`What was he doing? Is that a trick to get me off guard in an argument? Switching from dazzling to mood swings?`

„Jasper, are you alright?"

„I am fine, Bella! It`s just, the situation!"

„What situation?"

„You do realize we spend the last hour debating heatedly what system would be the best to archive our books, right?!"

`Our books`

His words stopped her from realizing the point he tried to make.

`Our books?!`

`Our` just like `we`; has a nice sound to it, hasn`t it?!`Her mind told her.

`Oh stop it! Just friends, remember!!!`

`Yeah, what ever you need to tell yourself to sleep good, girl!`

`Great, now my own mind is mocking me, too! As if Jasper wouldn`t fill the job quite good alone!`

She pushed it aside and concentrated on the situation ahead again.

„So, your point is?"

Another laugh echoed through the room!

„You really think this is a normal thing to do, don`t you?!"

„Well, I think that the right system is very important when it comes to storing books! Especially such an amount! There is a lot of things you have to keep in mind! Like the sunlight, for example! This are big windows, I do realize that the sun doesn`t come out very often, but you should know what sun does to books over time! I am not the only bookfreak here! And then you can`t just put random sizes next to each other just because of the logic of your stupid system!"

„My stupid system is called the alphabet, Bella!"

„So not the point! The point is, that if you put smaller and bigger books next to each other the pressure might distort the binding!"

„So basicly you are suggesting chaos!"

„No, just not simple alphabet! You can put them together in genres and authors and topics and the rest in one line you put together by size!"

„And how am I supposed to find them?"

„You are a vampire, Jasper! You have a photographic memory! And even if not, how long would it really take you to find it - 5 whole seconds?" Then she thought about something else and grinned inside „Look, I am just doing the job you gave me and take care of the books! If you don`t want me to anymore, just say it!"

`Ha! Two can play this manipulating thing! I might not be able to dazzle but I sure have my methods too!`

Jasper grumbled

„Fine, but I do the history section my way!"

„Whatever!" She grinned devilish.

`Victory, such a nice feeling!`

They spent the following hours completely lost in their own world. What had started out as an attempt to unpack and sort the completely random packed boxes soon became something entirely else. Every time one of them found one of their favorite books - which happened quite often since most of the books were at the favorite list of at least one of them – they started explaining the other what made this book so special. There were stories about how they first heard of it, what their life's were like when they read it, what the particular book had changed in their lifes and why - if one thought otherwise or not - this book was an essential. They also read their favorite part to each other and then discussed them. Never in the whole time they knew each other had they been so close. It was as if they would show and tell each other their deepest secrets and let them get a peek in their soul. And never before had they learned so much not just about the other but about themselves too. They were completely content and comfortable with it and probably didn`t even realize what exactly happened. They were far too much gone into their moment - their private world - were never before someone else had entered and they had so willingly shared it.

When it had started to get dark they finally realized that they had talked most of the time and not really got much of the storing done at all. There even were still a few boxes untouched and most of the shelves were still empty. Therefor the floor was covered with piles and piles of books by their desperate attempt to staple and sort the books to genres and authors. Sometimes the most heated discussion had erupted about that matter in which particular genre one book would belong.

So they finally decided to take a break and continue the other day.

Eventually Jasper had ordered pizza for Bella since she hadn`t really eaten much over the day and they had settled in the living room. After that Jasper had taken her home and went as always for a quick hunt before he found himself once again next to her watching over her sleep. And maybe even watching her with a little bit of different eyes than before.