Chapter Six
[Insert Chapter Name Here]
[Insert groveling Author's Note, including the "WHAT THE HELL FANFICTION I DELETED THAT CHAPTER" scream here.]
[Insert Author running in at the last moment, narrowly dodging the Girlfriend's 'you are laaaaate' evening smack here.]
[Insert the Author doing something TOTALLY UNEXPECTED- like, uh, getting a puppy or turning all of Hyrule into a strawberry shortcake filled with chocolate fudge goodness and smothered in knee-high whipped cream and sprinkled with rainbow sprinkles and when the Song of Storms was played, CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM fell from the skies, and the Triforce was a gold-plated chocolate triangle piece, and the sun was actually a lemon marangue pie, and the Girlfriend yanks the story back on track before this insert takes up a whole page. Here.]
[Insert overwhelmingly cliché beginning here.]
[Insert description of the heroes here.]
[Insert lame-o description of Red here.] "[Insert Red's stupidity here.]"
[Insert Blue traumatizing Red here.]
[Insert Narrator 'accidentally' damaging Blue here.]
[Insert Author yelling at Narrator here.]
[Insert Girlfriend yelling at Author for not putting in enough yaoi here.]
[Insert random pop culture references here.]
[Insert Girlfriend bringing in Tingle.]
[Insert Tingle being…well…Tingle. AKA: Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really creepily perverted. Here.]
[Insert Narrator 'accidentally' hurting Tingle here.]
[Insert Tingle coming back to life here.]
[Insert Narrator having fun torturing him here.]
[Insert Girlfriend's fan-gasm at that statement here.]
[Insert Author's eyeroll here.]
[Insert some BluexRed innuendos here.]
[Insert Girlfriend's fainting from the (quote-unquote) 'sheer hotness' of it here.]
[Insert Green thwacking Red and Blue and the Girlfriend (somehow) here.]
[Insert the Force Fairies bringing them back here.]
[Insert Author giving the Force Fairies the gift of vocal cords here.]
[Insert Green's suicide here.]
[Insert the Force Fairies bringing them back here.]
[Insert the Force Fairies using CAPS LOCK here.]
[Insert Blue's mindless rampage with his flaming chainsaw (of dooooom!) here.]
[Insert a completely random geological phenomenon striking Blue's head here.]
[Insert the Force Fairies being too preoccupied with Green's photo shoot (swim calender edition) to care. Here.]
[Insert Mary Sue here.]
[Insert crappy plot device here.]
[Insert death of Mary Sue here.]
[Insert collective cheer and part-aaaaay here.]
[Insert random Durarara references here.]
[Insert Green going off to watch Durarara to see what everyone was laughing about here.]
[Insert Author's 'hint-hint-wink-wink-nudge-nudge-poke-poke-SLAM W/MALLET' here.]
[Insert Girlfriend reading that and thinking, 'wha-? W topping MALLET? Hmmm… I can dig it!' here.]
[Insert Author breathing sigh of relief because the Girlfriend went off to write W/MALLET fanfiction here.]
[Insert the fans revolting because the story was too much about the Author and the Girlfriend here.]
[Insert Author's assurances that there were more of the Links to come. Hm? Oh, here. Sheesh, it's 3rd grade all over again here.]
[Insert rant on the awesomeness of Ocarina of Time here.]
[Insert thinly veiled foreshadowing here.]
[Insert random LEGEND OF ZELDA character that we will never see again here.]
[Insert Author's fan-gasm at LEGEND OF ZELDA here.]
[Insert some inside joke that only the Author and Girlfriend will understand here.]
[Insert laughter here.]
[Insert boring, necessary, lame attempt at plot filler here.]
[Insert characters' general apathy to plot here.]
[Insert Author & Girlfriend getting frustrated at the characters here.]
[Insert bolts of litening chasing the heroes around here.]
[Insert Girlfriend kicking the Author's tooshie back to 1st grade to learn how to spell here.]
[Insert alliterical swears here because the A & G only just now remembered about them here.]
[Insert Girlfriend getting bored and leaving Author alone to finish the chapter here.]
[Insert Author's party here.]
[Insert Author's brainfart here.]
[Insert more boring filler here.]
[Insert Shadow Link here.]
[Insert Shadow Link's emo-ness at not being introduced earlier here.]
[Insert nobody caring here.]
[Insert Shadow Link being upset because he doesn't get to say anything here.]
[Insert nobody caring here.]
[Insert Shadow Link's name getting shortened because the Author's too dang lazy to type it here.]
[Insert nobody caring here.]
[Insert SL attempting suicide here.]
[Insert nobody caring here.]
[Insert SL taking happy pills here.]
[Insert nobody caring here.]
[Insert Vio taking a break from Navi-watching to seriously maim SL for stealing his shtick here.]
[Insert SL crying in the lonely dark lonely cold and lonely emo-corner with the Fourth Wall writing bad poetry about his feelings. Here.]
[Insert more general apathy here.]
[Insert some SL/Fourth Wall hurt/comfort snuggling here.]
[Insert the Author breaking them apart for $hites and giggles here.]
[Insert nobody caring here.]
[Insert SL destroying Hyrule because nobody cares here.]
[Insert SL torching the Sue's personal line of high-heeled Prada shoes here.]
[Insert collective gasp here.]
[Insert the Sue Freddie Krueger-ing SL and [insert horrible punishment that's beyond imagination in this insert within an insert within an insert chapter here (INCEPTION!) here.]
[Insert the Metropolitan Museum of Art getting a new ash pretzel piece here.]
[Insert critics calling it a 'lame attempt to replicate a high Olympian Gymnast in the "Heat of the Moment"' here.]
[Insert the Sue reversing time (again) to save her sparkly shoes here.]
[Insert the Author getting bored here.]
[Insert Author falling asleep here.]
[Insert the Girlfriend borrowing Blue's flaming chainsaw here.]
[Insert Author waking up here.]
[Insert the Girlfriend joining SL and the Fourth Wall in the emo corner because the Author left their writing snuggy for soda and potato chips here.]
[Insert Author pulling the Girlfriend out of the corner here.]
[Insert Author leaving SL in the emo corner because nobody gives a rat's shat about him here.]
[Insert random half-tooshied attempt to make a cliffhanger here.]
[Insert collective gasp here.]
[Insert end of chapter here.]
[Insert boring Author's notes here.]
[Insert negative reviews here.]
[Insert the Author not reading them because he's currently sitting in his dark media room playing his copy of SKYWARD SWORD- which is TOTALLY AWESOME, by the way- here.]
[Insert the Girlfriend sighing and taking control of the story here.]
[Insert the Author going 'meh, w/evs' here.]
[Insert the Author's funeral here.]
[Insert the Girlfriend lauhing maniacally over the Author's grave with lightning flashing in the background here]
[Insert the few mourners staring at the Girlfriend here.]
[Insert the Girlfriend coughing awkwardly and 'moe-ping' away (think King Zora from OoT) here.]
[Insert... uhhhh... something here.]
[Insert arrow pointing at Review Button because the Author's too dang lazy to make one himself here.]