Disclaimer: I don't own South Park

A/N: There's actually some more Kyle here. And sinister plot twist with some Bunny.

Control

It's been three days since I last talked with Kyle; but I felt like it was three months. I looked at the empty passenger seat everyday and I just missed him the more. Everyday Kenny would park next to me and give me this look, like he's sorry for giving me the pill or something. Really, it's not his fault; I was the one who decided to do it. Then he would always try to say something to make me feel better, then he'd awkwardly move on to other topics, like football or "Oh man, it was so funny when my parents had a fight last night... You know what she said to him?"

We walked into the school side by side as usual and the moment I turned my attention away from Kenny and to the crowd, I saw Kyle and Butters in front of us. Kyle looked absolutely furious and for a second I thought his anger was directed at me. But then I noticed that Butters was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably.

"Kenny, we need to talk to you." Kyle said firmly. His eyebrows furrowed in anger.

"Kyle, let's go, I don't wanna-" Butters whined helplessly.

"No Butters, I am not letting this bastard to get away with this anymore!" I didn't know what had made him so angry, my mind stopped working the moment I saw him this close to me, I wanted to talk to him, but the current situation was making it impossible.

A crowd started to gather around us and I felt the need to interfere,

"Kyle, I think we should take this-"

"No, I am not taking this to the back of the school during lunch or after school." He was shooting his death glare at Kenny. I didn't know what to say, he sounded like he was about to punch Kenny in his face.

I looked at Kenny, he didn't even seem a bit unnerved by Kyle's words; instead, he was folding his arms across his chest leisurely, looking down on Kyle and Butters with complete annoyance.

"That's a little hypocritical, don't you think Kyle? Trying to help Butters, huh? What about yourself? You can't even deal-"

"Shut the fuck up Kenny! This has nothing to do with me! You need to apologize to Butters! Right now!" Kyle emphasized by pointing to the floor with the last two syllables.

"What the hell is your problem? Butters can stand up for himself if he needs an apology from me. Right, Buttercup?" He turned his head to look at Butters, reaching out his hand to lift Butters's face up, the corner of his mouth turning into a sick twisted grin... I had never seen this Kenny before, what the hell is going on?

"Back off! Kenny McCormick!" Kyle slapped his hand away, "You can't touch him!"

"Butters didn't say he didn't like it."

"Guys, I think that's enou-"

"Stan, stay out of this one, you have no idea what this bastard did to Butters!"

"Not so different from what Stan did to you." Kenny said cruelly. I still had no idea what was going on... But I immediately felt guilty at the mention of last Saturday...

"Kenny, please... This is not Kyle's fault..." Butters pleaded weakly, his voice was barely audible.

"Aw, look Kyle, you are making a big deal out of things, looka little Butters here doesn't really want your help. You are just making a fool out of yourself Kye." Kenny said sadistically, that cruel grin still hanging on his face as he grabbed Butters by his shoulder and pulled him onto his chest. But Butters still looked really frightened.

"Tell him Butters, tell Kyle you don't need his help and we are perfectly fine." Kenny said to Butters, but his eyes still on Kyle.

"But-"

"Just say it." Kenny ordered.

"Than-thanks Kyle, but I don't need your help..." he looked like he was about to burst out crying.

"Butters! Wha- fight him! You can't just give in like this! What about all those-"

"Kyle! I don't wanna think about it no more! Just... I am sorry, but I really..." Kyle let out a frustrated groan then turned around and stormed away.

I watched as Kyle started to disappear from the crowd. I needed to chase after him, but my legs weren't responding to what I was thinking. I looked at Kenny and Butters, who had already turned their backs on me and were heading towards the back stairs. I looked in front of me again and Kyle was getting farther and farther away.

"Kyle!" I shouted. A couple of girls looked at me like I was crazy.

He didn't turn around, like he didn't hear me. I started to sprint really fast through the crowd, shoving some people aside, I didn't have time to stop and apologize...

"Kyle!" I called out desperately again.

This time he heard me and he turned around. His expression somewhat softened from the anger a few minutes before.

"Stan?" He said my name so casually for a moment I thought maybe through my sprint I had traveled back in time to last week before all these fucked up shit happened.

"Kyle," I stood in front of him, trying to regain my breath, not from the running, but the pure shock, or was it joy? I didn't even know anymore.

"Class is gonna start soon, I gotta go." His attitude suddenly turned cold, as if he had forgotten to act like that just a few seconds ago when he said my name. But no, I wasn't letting him go.

"Kyle, please, I just want to talk to you."

"OK, but you can wait till lunch, I have to go to class." He turned around and started to walk away. I knew he was not going to talk to me during lunch because we don't even have lunch together! So I grabbed his hand, causing him to halt. But he still didn't turn around.

"Stan, please let me go."

"No, I am not letting go."

"People are watching."

"I don't care."

I started to walk towards the emergency exist, dragging him along with me.

"Stan! What the- now we have to walk all the way around to get back in! We are gonna be late for class!" He screamed hysterically once we got out of the school, white smoke coming out from his mouth due to the sudden drop of temperature. No one was here, even horny couples wouldn't go so far, because Kyle was right, you really need to walk all the way around to get back inside.

I didn't care what was going on with Kenny and Butters and what Kyle had to do with all that, I just knew I couldn't suppress my feelings anymore; Kyle was right in front of me...

I wrapped my arms around him, pressing his head against my throat, inhaling his scent... I missed him; I missed him so much, it hurts... And I wanted him to know, to know how regretful I had been; I wanted him to feel my heart beat, how it starts beating randomly out of order when I am close to him...

Kyle didn't struggle, he just stood there and let me hug him. Then I suddenly felt something wet was on my neck. I pulled away and found him crying.

"Kyle..."

He wiped his tears away using his gloved hands. He still kept silent, and the guilt surged through my mind again...

"I am sorry..."

He sniffed, looking distantly to his right, avoiding my gaze.

"It's not you Stan, I just-I missed you too." he looked at me again with watery eyes. I knew he was feeling the same pain I was feeling... Why do we have to put ourselves through this?

"I just wish those feelings would go away," he looked down at the snow-covered ground.

"Kyle, look at me." he shook his head, refusing to look. I lowered my head to press our foreheads together; he didn't move away, so I slowly closed in and kissed his nose.

"Don't make them go away." I pleaded in a whisper.

The moment he looked up our lips touched. His upper lip locked between my own; he was soft and moist. All the misery from these past few days began to melt away inside my chest. I could feel him leaning closer and I wanted to pull him into a tighter embrace... but then he abruptly pulled away, breaking the kiss, cold air penetrating the increasing space between us again. He looked up to me and said,

"Stan, I just need some more time to think."

Disappointment flushed back in and I could only nod mechanically. I felt sore and tired... With the first bell ringing, I could see his mouth forming the word "bye", then he turned around and left, leaving me in the cold, alone.

After entirely skipping Physics (I hate that douchebag teacher anyway, even though I like Physics) I decided I should go to second period. I needed something to get my mind off Kyle.

"I am sorry Mrs. Martinez. I was-"

"It's OK, Stanley. Take a seat please, we just barely started." She smiled at me warmly, motioning for me to sit down.

Mrs. Martinez was one of those US history teachers who teaches US history because she's patriotic and passionate about anything related to America. For God's sake, she named her twins Patrick and Henry. She's also exceptionally nice to those of us who eagerly celebrate the American tradition - football. She buys all the season tickets each year from us and the baseball team and take her entire family with her to every single one of our games. But she's not nice to everyone though. When other people are late, she would kick their asses to the office. And I always couldn't help but notice that sacarstic hint in her niceness.

"OK class, as we were saying yesterday, the last straw that led to the succession of the South was-?" she skimmed through the classroom, and Clyde Donovan shot up his hand.

"OK Clyde."

"Clouds."

Not again.

Everyone from Garrison's class started laughing, including me. It's the old joke.

…

"OK, let's pick someone who's not a complete retard. C'mon children don't be shy."

"I think I know the answer Mr. Garrison!"

"Mehmehmehmehmehmehmeh."

"Hey shut up fat boy!"

"Hey don't call me fat you fucking Jew!"

Good times...

Somehow I wished Kyle, Cartman and Kenny were here to reenact the whole scene, I didn't care if we got sent to the office again because of the f-word.

The laughter began to cease and all the other students who didn't understand the joke looked at us like we were crazy. I personally think they were just jealous of our bond.

"OK guys, calm down. I know it's funny to you guys but what is the answer, c'mon."

But Kyle wasn't here to answer the question, some bookworm with super thick glasses answered the whole question like he was reciting from the textbook or something. I stopped listening. I never really give a shit about history. Who cares what the fuck happened in the past anyway? I just want to know what's gonna happen in the future! Like if Kyle is going to-

"Stanley, can you please turn off the lights?" Martinez asked. She was about to show us a video about Abe Lincoln. I got out of the seat and flicked the switch.

The projector came on and Abe Lincoln's face appeared.

If the Lincoln's ghost was real and if ghosts were all-knowing and if Abe Lincoln really never lies; I wanted to ask him why could nothing get my mind off Kyle.

After the agonizingly boring and gross Biology lecture on fungi and yeasts, I was lucky that my stomach didn't turn over. Criag had fallen asleep long ago, so I woke him up and told him it's time to go. Surprisingly, I didn't get the middle finger from him.

It's finally sixth period.

I wanted to see Kyle, but I knew he was going to act cold again... I could still clearly remember the kiss from this morning. It made me happy thinking of the kiss, but at the same time the memory of it brings me the depressing coldness and uncertainty of it all... God, since when I sound like a complete faggot?

Oh well, I am in love with a dude.

People told me during lunch that Ms. Fonard was getting married next month because her boyfriend had proposed to her, and the name of her future husband was quite, well, lovely. Because his last name is Lovely. So starting from next month we have to call Ms. Fonard Mrs. Lovely. How suitable.

She stood at her door, greeting her students like usual, she did look extra lovely today, I guess it's true when they say a woman in love looks more beautiful.

I congratulated her and she smiled and thanked me. Then I got into the classroom and sat down in my usual seat. Kyle was digging in his backpack, apparently faking it so he didn't have to talk to me. So I turned my head to look at Butters, he looked really pale. I wonder if that had to do with this morning-

"I am sure all of you have heard the news already," After the bell rang and everyone was in their seats, Ms. Fonard looked at us and grinned.

"No need for further explanation I believe. And because of this, I decided that we should talk about love today." She tugged her hair back behind her ear. Some guys began to sigh and shook their heads, the girls just kept paying close attention. Ms. Fonard only kept going,

"Nothing in this world has any meaning unless our minds assign a definition for it. In other words, love is not love unless we experienced it and know what it means. Everyone has a different meaning in their head. Some people think that if you truly care about someone then you love them; some people think that you have to sacrifice in order to love; some people think that love is all about lust. It all depends on what experience you have had with love."

"So," she took a deep breath, as if to recover from that long speech she had just given us. "I want each and one of you to write an essay about what you think love is." she paused again, took a sip from her Starbucks thermos, then continued,

"But I don't want you to write a boring essay to just humor me. I want you to tell me why you love who you love. Now, don't tell me you don't love anyone, because you must love someone at least once in your life. I am not going to read it out loud, so…"

Kyle.

I looked across the room to stare at Kyle. I was sure he knew I was looking at him…

Why does everything make me think of him? Give me a break, God, please.

I looked forward again, Ms. Fonard was handing out a rubric for the essay, I took a glance at it. She said she's going to give us the rest of the class to work on the essay. I didn't want to write no essay, I just wanted to talk with Kyle. I wanted to know who he's going to write about… Was he going to write about me like how he did in that "hero project" back in eighth grade?

He stood up from his seat along with his backpack and started to walk toward the teacher's desk. I could faintly hear what he was saying over the girls' annoying gossips.

"Ms. Fonard, I think my blood sugar is low, since I didn't eat lunch today. I am sorry, but may I go to the nurse's office please?"

Ms. Fonard nicely nodded and handed him a pass. I watched as he stepped out of the classroom without even looking back. It was like as if we weren't in the same room and I was entirely invisible.

I felt angry. At myself or at Kyle, I don't know. But why did he always have to do something stupid that is bad for himself just to avoid me?

I leaned back in my seat, letting out frustrated sigh. Then I looked at Ms. Fonard again, and she looked back at me with a bitter-sweet smile.

OK things seem to take a turn here. And I think this story is going to end soon, with maybe three or less chapters I am going to finish it up. Since school is going to start on Monday for me here in Houston... Sucks! I think I will say good bye to fanfic for a while... Man, why did I chose to take all those killer classes? You won't believe it. I have freaking 7 AP classes this year! I have Calculus, Chemistry, Physics, Art, English, US government and economics... Because it's my senior year... man I feel so freaking old...

BTW, can someone go to my profile and vote for a poll I created 2 days ago?

Also I wrote another one shot that is about Stan, slight Style. Go check it out if you are interested, it's called "I am bored".