I honestly can't wait for the murder to happen

Aaaaaaanyways

Time for some non-existent character development because everyone here is a one-dimensional maniac

Note: Prickly won't say anything, so I've combined his event with someone else's. Last thing we need is a repeat of "..." and "..." courtesy of the legacy of Tomato.

Our favorite hawk with misplaced American values started yelling something about a bunny/bear/dinosaur stealing his job, so we decided to just run away. All of us. Even Prickly the cactus.

Because all of a sudden started hating each other, or maybe everyone just started hating me, (can't imagine why) we all explored the school by ourselves and then went to bed.

I woke up the next morning and walked to the dining hall.

Swagbot was eating Doritos and drinking Mountain Dew. Nakama had ramen. Ebooby was attempting to digest human blood. Elizabeth actually was digesting human blood. Young Rock was rapping, Ilagigigo was crashing into people, Annie had a raw fish, someone had given Prickly a drink of water, the bears were eating some sort of flesh I don't want to know together, and John plus Amy were eating name brand cereal. I didn't know where Era and Sidney were, nor did I care. Chare being the fucking hipster that she was, was drinking Starbucks somehow.

I sat down by John and Amy, because they seemed remotely sane. Neither of them offered me any cereal, despite having an extra bowl on the table, extra cereal in a box, and extra milk in a carton right beside them.

And they call me an asshat.

"Oh, I didn't notice you there, Oriaka. Want some cereal?" Amy smiled at me, pretending that I hadn't pissed her off yesterday or whatever. Honestly, optimistic people are stupid. They're almost always getting hurt and stuff.

"Judging by the way you're scarfing it down, I doubt there's any left for me." I gestured to all the fat at her stomach area.

Amy's smiled grew strained. "There's plenty left, because John is sponsored and gets free cereal."

At the mention of his name, John nodded his head at me and poured a bowl of cereal. Sure enough, there was hardly any left.

"Told ya." I smirked.

Amy's face turned slightly red, but John decided to back her up or some shit by pointing at Sidney, who had entered the dining hall and was laying in a giant pool of cereal. "Sidney is building a cereal beach. Brought to you by Eggo."

"WHEELCHAIRZ ND CEREL" Sidney yelled. "*INCOMPREHENSIBLE SCREAMING*"

Prickly joined Sidney in the beach of sugary marshmallows and bland oats. "*menacing glare*"

Era entered the dining hall, witnessed the scene in front of her, gave off a good round of "..." and turned around and walked away, muttering under her breath. "...All I wanted...was toast…"

After the fiasco that was breakfast, I sat in my room.

Okay, I hate everyone here, but I'm gonna bore myself to death if I don't talk to someone.

FREETIME

On my way out of my room, I ran straight into Sidney, who crashed his wheelchair right into me.

FREETIME EVENT BEGIN: SIDNEY

"What the fuck, man!"

"WHEEEEELCHAISRS"

"Is that all you can fucking say? Really?"

Sidney spun his wheelchair in circles. "ORIAKA'S A NOOOORMIE"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"ASSSSHAT!"

"Fuck you too!" I turned around to walk away.

Sidney then decided it would be a good time to ram his wheelchair into my back, using the full force of his unstable as shit engines on the wheelchair. He knocked me into the ground, laughing maniacally.

I roll over, groaning. "Shit, that hurt…"

Sidney, in his twisted state of mind, proceeded to roll me on the fucking ground with his wheelchair.

"Bastard! Stop rolling me!"

After a few minutes of rolling, where I could see nothing because we were moving so quickly, I found that Sidney had rolled me to the nurse's office.

"Oh...Thanks?"

"WHEELCHSIARS" Sidney blasted away.

…

What the fuck.

FREETIME END

I walked into the nurse's office to grab bandages for my sustained injuries and some pain meds too.

Inside was Chare, muttering under her breath as she looked through cabinets.

FREETIME EVENT BEGIN: CHARE

"What the hell are you doing in here" I asked, looking annoyed.

"Some goop decided to be a wisenheimer and give me fake Starbucks! I'm lookin' for an emetic to throw all of it out like a splifficated person who's had too much giggle juice."

"...The fuck?"

"Cook with gas for once in your life and help me look instead of just bumping your gums!"

"And what if I don't help you?"

"Then bone out, asshat."

"No can do. Looking for bandages and pain meds after a run-in with Sidney."

"Then get your stuff you scrub! And bag your face while you're at it." Chare threw an actual bag at me.

Inside the bag was an assortment of bandages.

"Thanks for the bandages."

"I didn't give them to you you motorized freckle! Stop dippin' in my Kool Aid."

"..." I didn't respond, going to the cabinets to look for meds.

While looking through, I found the bottle of emetic solution stuff. What Chare was looking for. I could give it to her…

With a shit-eating grin I stuffed it in my bag of bandages, along with the pain meds. Now she'll never find it. She doesn't deserve to throw up her bootleg Starbucks anyways. She'll just have to digest it.

FREETIME END

I needed some water to take the medicine down with, so I made my way over to the kitchen to get some.

Inside the kitchen, Nakama was giving Prickly a drink of water.

FREETIME EVENT BEGIN: NAKAMA AND PRICKLY

"Hello hello Nakama-Kun!" Nakama waved.

"My name is Oriaka."

"Sure thing Nakama-Kun Nakama!" She giggled, annoyingly.

"..." I went over to the sink and started to fill a glass.

"What's that Nakama? You think Nakama-Kun is an idiot?" I turned to look at Nakama, only to see her talking to Prickly.

"*Menacing glare*"

"And you hate...tomatoes Nakama? How can you hate tomatoes Nakama?" Nakama's hands dramatically shot to her mouth.

"..."

"Oh, I see Nakama! Too many fangirls and pineapple imposters Nakama!"

"What the fuck? There's no way he's saying any of that." I said, trying to wrestle open the bottle of medicine.

"Nakama-Kun has much to learn about the complicated processes of cactuses, Nakama." Nakama waved a finger in my face, those stupid Mary-Sue purple eyes practically burning holes in my soul.

"Shut up! Cactuses literally can't do shit! Why the hell is Prickly even a student anyways?"

All of a sudden a knife flew through the air and impaled the top of my hair. Nakama turned around and pouted at Prickly.

"Nakama! You shouldn't throw weapons like that Nakama! Nakama-Kun meant nothing by it, right Nakama-Kun?"

Now terrified, I forced a smile. "Sure, sure…"

Nakama went back to conversing with the cactus, so I took my bag of stuff and my glass of water, then ran out of the kitchen. I don't feel safe anymore.

FREETIME END

I went into the dining room to take my pain medicine, but Swagbot was there, monotonously yelling things to himself, blocking the doorway from the kitchen to the dining room.

FREETIME EVENT BEGIN: SWAGBOT

"KIIBO DA KIIBO DA KIIBO DA KIIBO DA KIIBO DA KIIBO DA KIIBO DA IM GONNA REPEAT THIS A COUPLE THOUSAND MORE TIMES!"

"...What?"

"ZETSUBOU DA ZETSUBOU DA ZETSUBOU DA ZETSUBOU DA ZETSUBOU DA ZETSUBOU DA AND THIS ONE TOO!"

I tried walking around him.

"#KAWAIIII SWAGG!"

Swagbot was wearing too much shit, so I couldn't walk around him.

"YOU'VE GAWT DAT RONG DESSSUUUUUUU #SWAG!"

"MOVE YOUR ASS!" I yelled.

"I DON'T HAVE A SENNPAIIIIII!"

"FUCK OFF!" I shouted in his face.

"#BLEHEHEHEHHEHEEELELELELELELLELELELE DESU-DESU SENPAI SAMA JAWN CENA DESSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! YOLO!"

I tried something else. "Look, I need to get out of here. Move."

"#ADASADFDI KEYBOARD CENA SMASH-DESU!"

"It's time to stop. Where are your parents?"

"#ITS TIME TO D-D-D-D-DDUDUDUDUHEFHEUUHDUIDIUHU DUEL! YOLO!" With those words, Swagbot ran away.

FREETIME END

I finally got into the dining room, but somehow all the tables had been covered with random food and objects covered with sponsoring and branding. John was sitting in the middle of it all.

FREETIME EVENT BEGIN: JOHN

"...What the hell is all this?"

"Sponsored foods and objects. Brought to you by greedy corporate advertisers."

"...Why?"

"It's my talent. I'm sponsored by everything so I get free objects, except for Starbucks, for some reason. Brought to you by not Starbucks."

As he said this, I heard Chare scream in agony some distance away.

"Isn't the school locked? How did you get all of it?"

"Monohawk brought it to me. Brought to you by...Monohawk."

"So what are you gonna do with this stuff?"

"Eat some of it. Brought to you by McDonalds."

"Can I help eat it so thee pain meds won't mess up my system?" Before John could deny, I took the meds.

"Sure. Brought to you by Dairy Queen." John held up a cup of ice cream.

John and I spent the next few minutes stuffing food in our faces. Man, so much better than the random instant shit everyone makes. Nothing like processed meats and fries that are more chemical than potato. Not to mention the good-old sugar filled sodas. And don't forget artificially sweetened ice cream!

I'd be a shitty advertiser.

Huh. I hung out with someone that I didn't end up hating by the end.

"By the way, don't touch the marshmallows, because I have to burn those. Brought to you by Akairo Arsoning Company."

"...Don't touch the marshmallows?"

John nodded.

"FUCK YOU!" I yelled, running out.

FREETIME END

For the second time today, someone ran into me.

It was Amy.

FREETIME EVENT BEGIN: AMY

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry Oriaka!" She stood up, then offered me a hand.

I pushed it away.

"...Anyways, are you okay?"

"I was. Then I ran into you."

Amy's smile grew strained and the air grew awkward, for some reason.

"By the way, John's got a shiton of food in there."

"Really?" Amy's eyes lit up, and she looked excited.

"But I ate it all."

Amy's eyes lost the cliche sparkly thing and she frowned. "Oh."

"Sucks to suck." I did the finger guns thing.

"Right." Amy forced a smile again, looking mildly annoyed though I don't know why. "Do you know any good spots where I can draw?"

"No, and I don't care."

"That's okay, I can find a place myself." Amy waved it off, now just looking outright irritated. "Is it safe to go into the kitchen? I hear Prickly knows how to throw knives."

"Wait, how did you know?"

"Well, I got to know everybody while we were exploring. Isn't he good? And he's a cactus too!" She laughed.

"Good?! He nearly impaled me!"

Amy's smile transitioned into surprise. "He did? Yikes. But I don't think I'll do anything to make him mad." She raised an eyebrow at me while saying this. What's she trying to imply? "Anyways, see you Oriaka."

"I'd rather not." I gestured to her rather overweight form.

"...Right then."

FREETIME END

Urgh, today was such a trainwreck. I just want to get some sleep-

"CAW! GO TO THE GYM, I HAVE FREE BURGERS FOR ALL YOU FAT LAZY AMERICANS! RIFLES! WOO!" Monohawk yelled over the intercom.

Dammit.

I walked to the gym, where there was a pile of envelopes. Shaped like burgers.

"CAW! NOBODY WILL KILL EACH OTHER LIKE AMERICA SHOULD! INSIDE THESE BURGER ENVELOPES, WILL BE SOMETHING YOU DEARLY LOVE THAT ISN'T IN HERE! IF YOU KILL ,YOU'LL BE ABLE TO GET IT BACK!"

Monohawk passed out envelopes with his beak. When I received mine, it smelled faintly of Monofish. I opened it.

Your dearest posession is:

Nothing, because you drove away all your friends, including someone that loved you, and you drove away your family with all your isolation. I can't even give you marshmallows, your only love, because Akairo Arson Company requested them all. You asshat.

"Well fuck you too, Monohawk!"

It mentally pained me to write this chapter, especially all of Oriaka's insults to Amy, AKA the only sane girl.

Okay okay, the first murder is going to happen next chapter. I hope y'all are ready.

Question of the chapter: Who have you started shipping?