Hello, pretties.

Here we go again, just a few more outtakes left for you. As you can see, this is much longer than the previous ones… you'll see why. Also, the mood is a bit different from those.

This outtake sort of goes along with Chapter 24: 'Rains'. I won't tell you what that one was about, you'll remember right away, lol.

Many, many thanks to my pretty beta Songster for her help with this one and all the rest. :-)

I don't own Twilight.

Now let's see what happened in Paris…

O~o~O~LBO~O~o~O

'Ties'

What have I done?

It's the question that keeps circling my head over and over ever since the moment Bella walked out of my apartment.

It's the moment I made the biggest mistake of my life by saying the words that I never meant but were in my head nonetheless.

How did I ever think that she had anything to do with James, at any level? Why didn't I keep my mouth shut? No, why didn't I keep those awful thoughts at bay? It's not like I really believe them.

I keep replaying the moment Bella left and the look on her face, so hurt and sad. It almost feels like a lifetime ago, when in reality she just left a couple of hours ago.

After she walked out the door, I just stood there, recounting the words I said to her and replaying the images of her and James in my mind over and over. Had I taken a little bit of time to just see what was going on in front of me this afternoon, I would've seen Bella's obvious disdain of James. I saw her tight and fake smile, but the second I saw him touching her and kissing her hand, I didn't want to see anything else.

I still feel angry that he even touched her in the first place.

I shake my head and let a breath out. I'm so, so tired. I sit on the couch once again, resting my head against the back of it. The urge to run after her is almost unbearable; I want to beg for her forgiveness and go back to how we were, forget or erase all that happened. But I know better, that's impossible and she's right, I need to set things straight once and for all with my past and, after my horrible words, she needs to think about us as well.

I shut my eyes tighter just thinking that after two weeks apart, she might decide that all of this is not worth it.

Fuck, I can barely think about that option without choking up or wanting to punch myself.

This is all my fault

Did we really rush into this? Feelings for her have always been so strong; it has been impossible not to let myself go with them. They have been foreign at the same time. I've never felt for anyone the way I feel for Bella: protectiveness after hearing about her past; pride at her accomplishments; love for her, for everything she is.

For months now, she's been everything in my world. How could she not be? Before Bella, work, Rose and Marie were the only truly important things in my life, filling my days. When Bella showed up, priorities shifted, things changed. All this time I've been thinking that they changed for the better, yet here I am, in almost the exact same situation I was two years ago.

I shake my head. No, things have been better since I met Bella; I refuse to think of her as a distraction to what was happening around me.

She was the best thing in my life; she is the best thing.

I get up from the couch and move to the kitchen, I need something to drink. When I reach the refrigerator, I have to stop and stare at the closed door.

It's filled with mementos of our times together: magnets from our time at the zoo; photos of that day and even a few with my family; a little note under a monkey magnet with her messy handwriting, letting me know that we needed to pick up some things from the market. The piece of paper even has a few doodles on the corners. She must have done those while she figured out what she needed to add to the list.

Fuck. I open the door forcefully and take the bottle of vodka, avoiding any more eye contact with those damn magnets.

Taking a glass, I head once again to the couch. I serve myself a drink and take it in one big gulp, feeling the mix of cold liquid and the burn from the alcohol. I wince and almost choke, not being used to drinking all that much, but I welcome it either way. Anything to drown this damn pressure in my chest.

I eye the bottle for a second. Maybe if I drink the whole thing, I might forget about today.

I pour myself another one and drink it the same way. Each gulp gets easier to stand and soon, it's like I can barely feel it at the back of my throat. My body starts to relax as well, and my mind starts to settle.

The problem is, the damn pressure in my chest doesn't go away. I even try to rub the spot around my heart, but it doesn't help.

That's when I realize that drinking myself stupid won't help. Nothing will until she's here with me once again.

I set the bottle and glass aside and simply stay there on the couch for the rest of the night. I ignore everything around me for the entire night, and every time I doze off, my dreams are filled with images of James taking Bella or Bella walking away from me.

It's a very restless night, and when morning comes, it's so different from the ones I've had in the past weeks. Today, I'm not wrapped up in Bella; we're not whispering in bed talking about our plans for the day; I'm not waking her up with my mouth and hands.

Instead, I look around and see the room filling with light, which only shows me more things that remind me of Bella: walls full of photos, surfaces with her drawings, silly knick knacks from around Paris.

I laugh without humor. I tease her often that those things don't go with the décor and now here I am, looking at them wistfully and wishing she would walk through the door with a new one to add to the collection.

What love does to you.

I check the clock on the wall, and widening my eyes, I realize that not only did I spend the entire night here on the couch but also that Bella must have already arrived in Seattle.

And she didn't text or call.

I move to retrieve my phone and ignore the headache that makes me wince. I didn't even drink that much last night, but the lack of sleep and what happened with Bella must have taken a greater toll on me than I realized.

I notice several missed calls. I remember turning it off, but I must've forgotten to turn it on again. Maybe I missed Bella's call? I check and there's nothing from her, just Tanya, Rose and Mom. By the look of things, I'm kind of lucky they didn't show up in the middle of the night. They must have thought I needed some time alone.

They're right. I'm not much company to anyone as it is.

I stare at the phone. Maybe I should take the first step and call her. I just want to hear her voice and know that she got to Seattle okay, but at the same time I don't want to intrude on her time with her family. She already left distraught last night, and I'm sure I'm not her Dad's favorite person right now. I don't even know the guy and I'm already screwing up in his eyes.

My thoughts are interrupted by an incoming text.

Bella.

I just landed; everything is okay. I love you and miss you already ~ B

I'm so relieved to see her words. I actually sink into the couch. She's okay; she loves me and misses me. I never thought such a short message could mean so much.

Thank God, you're okay. I love you and miss you too ~ E

I want to say so much more, but her message was short and to the point. This is obviously not the time to have this talk.

After reading her message again, I can finally breathe a little and head for the shower.

O~o~O~LBO~O~o~O

An hour later, there is a loud pounding on my door, and from the voice on the other side, I know it's Rose.

"Hello, Rose," I greet her when I open the door, and she walks right in.

"Edward, for fuck's sake! You have a phone, answer it." She puts her bag down and eyes the bottle and glass I left behind last night.

"As you can see, I didn't drink it all, Rose." Her expression softens a little when she looks back at me. I have to look away, one look at my face and she'll know right away how I'm feeling.

"Why are you here, Rose?" I ask her. As far as I know, she doesn't know Bella left alone for Seattle.

"I got a call from Tanya last night; she didn't say much except that you were not okay. Later on, Alice called, after she and Jasper took Bella to the airport. Alone." She sounds concerned when she says that last part.

Right, I had forgotten about Jasper and Alice.

"What did she say?" I'm curious, and at the same time I dread her answer.

She's quiet for a few moments, just looking at me, I guess, trying to read my face and determine how much to tell me.

This just makes anxiety go higher.

"She didn't say much." She sighs. "Besides the fact that you're an asshole for making her friend cry, she was very insistent about coming here last night, but I think Jasper stopped her. When I asked just what the hell she was talking about, I didn't understand what she was talking about. In the end, she just told me to ask you. I could've come here last night, but I didn't want to leave Marie alone. Since I know you very well, whatever happened, I knew you needed to be alone for a little bit." I nod; she does know me.

"That's over though, I gave you time, and now you need to tell just what the hell happened." Rose sits down and crosses her legs, waiting for me to explain.

I take a big breath, running my hands through my hair. This is the first time I'll be letting the words out, and it's getting more and more real. It hurts to even think about Bella's words and face, and now saying the words… it's gut wrenching. Looking at Rose, though, I know she won't leave until I tell her what happened.

So I tell her– everything. I know from her hard looks that she wants to say something, but instead she lets me tell the entire story without interruptions.

"God, what mess." She shakes her head after I'm finished. As hard as that was, I have to admit I do feel a little relieved.

"So, what? Did you two break up? No wonder Alice was so upset." I've been pacing next to the couch while told her the story, but when her eyes meet mine, I have to look away and out the window. There's too much sadness in them, for me and for Bella.

"No, we're taking a time out." I almost laugh at that. It sounds so simple, and with any other couple I would say it was for the best, but now being in that situation… I see nothing good about being apart from the one you love.

I hear Rose hum, and then we're both silent. I know she's thinking about what happened and what to say next.

"Well, enough is enough." I hear her getting up from the couch and then feel her hand on my shoulder.

"We're not letting that asshole James get away with this once again. I'm calling the lawyer and let's see what he has to say; there must be something. If not, we'll find something else then." I turn around to look at her.

My sister, my beautiful and so fucking strong sister.

"You're not alone in this, Edward. You never were, but this time, we're not backing down. Whether you like it or not, you're stuck with us." She smiles, as her eyes fill with tears.

'We'– she said 'we' so many times– each time took a little bit of the weight off my shoulders. How did I dismiss this two years ago?

I smile back at her, so relieved and thankful to have her here with me, to have my family with me. I never minded helping her when things with Royce happened; I was glad she let me help her. And with her words, she's letting me know that it's her turn to look out for me now. With a smile, I pull her to me and hug her.

"Thank you," I whisper against her hair.

"Shush." She sounds happy as her body sags against mine, showing her evident relief at my simple words. I close my eyes. She was probably afraid that I wouldn't accept her help once again.

"Okay, enough of this. We need to go." And just like that, she breaks the hug and wipes her cheeks as she goes to grab her bag.

"Where are we going?" I really don't feel like going out.

"Mom and Dad's. We're having a family meeting." And with that, she heads for the door. I have no choice but to follow her.

O~o~O~LBO~O~o~O

An hour later, Mom is pacing across her living room and muttering to herself. I don't remember seeing her like this since I was a child and decided to decorate my room… using crayons.

Dad is on the phone, talking to the lawyer and making arrangements for him to come in the afternoon.

Rose and I are sitting on the couch, watching them. Well, watching Mom, more like it. Had this situation not been so fucked up, I would've laughed.

"I can't believe that little piece of shit. If he thinks he's doing this to my boy again, he has another thing coming. The nerve of that guy." I look at Rose and see her smirking. Mom hardly ever curses.

"Mom, please, calm down." And the look Mom gives Rose shuts her up right away.

Esme Cullen is one scary woman.

"Never mind." Rose backs down and starts texting instead.

I sigh and rest my head against the back of the couch, closing my eyes. I never wanted this to happen in the first place. Who would, anyway? But at least it was my situation to handle, my responsibility. Now that I see how much this also affects others, especially my family, Bella; it makes me doubt the wisdom of ever letting them back in. At the same time, I'm selfish and thankful to have them with me, even as my life is spinning out of control again.

"Edward." I hear Mom and when I open my eyes, she's right there in front of me. She doesn't look that angry; she looks concerned instead.

"Hi, Mom." I smile at her. I want to assure her that I'm fine, but she'll see right through me and know immediately that I'm far from okay.

"I need a little bit of fresh air. Join me in the solarium?" I nod and stand up. Now that she seems calmer, she probably wants to say a few things.

We sit down, facing the yard and stay silent. I remember the afternoon that we sat in this exact same spot and talked about the last few years when I wasn't here with them. She was so understanding and forgiving, taking me back without a second thought. I grimace when I think that I'm once again making them go through something that hurts them, deeply..

"I'm sorry," I blurt.

"Why?" she asks. She's clearly surprised.

"For doing this again, for letting this happen again. After two years of silence, here I come, bringing more crap into your lives." I know it's not my fault, but what is it about me that makes James do this again?

Her answer is nothing like I expected it to be.

She laughs. Hard.

"Oh, my God, Edward. You can't possibly be serious about this? Right? You are not the one who should be sorry. If anything, after we're done with James, he'll be saying that to you." Another 'we' that lightens the weight.

I shrug.

"My dear boy. Come here." I rest my head on her shoulder as she hugs me. She feels so warm, and I feel so safe in her arms.

"This is not your fault, Edward. Not at all, it wasn't back then and it isn't now. So, stop it. Okay?" She shakes me a little and I grunt. "Now that we've cleared that up, I have to say that you're an idiot."

What?

"I mean about Bella, Edward. I understand your fears taking over at that moment, but telling her that? Actually believing, even for a split second that she could've been anything but honest with you all this time? That makes me doubt your sanity."

I sigh and close my eyes. She's right and there hasn't been a second since Bella left that I haven't thought about her: what she's doing, what she's thinking, what will happen when I see her again.

"I know, Mom. You have no idea how bad I feel about that. I hate myself for it, for not being able to take those words back. Because no matter what I say from now on, how sorry I tell her I am, those words will always be out there."

And that thought scares me shitless. What if it's too much for Bella and she can't get past it?

"That's true." I feel her nodding and my heart sinks. "This could be too much for her, but you're doing it again. You see? You're making assumptions about other people's reactions without even talking to them first. You thought we would hate you after what happened with Renata, and without even talking to us, you stepped back from us."

"I know."

"Have you talked to her since she left?"

"She texted that she got to Seattle safely. Nothing after that." I move one hand to my pocket, touching my phone, almost begging it to ring.

"Good. So she's not completely withdrawing from you. I have to say, I'm surprised that she left so fast after your fight." I move my head up and see her thinking about her words.

"What do you mean? She did what she needed to do, Mom. Of course she took off."

"So dramatic, Edward. What I mean is that even though she was right to feel hurt by your words, it doesn't sound like her to just take off like that. She has been patient with you for months, and now she didn't stay?"

I remove myself from her hug and sit back.

"She needed to go to Seattle, and I needed to stay here to deal with this mess, Mom."

"I know. What I mean is that there might be more to this than her being hurt. You two haven't talked yet, so I'm only assuming, but I think there's more."

More? What more could there be?

"Edward?"

I turn and see Mom looking a little worried.

"I also think that it's time for you to talk to someone about all of this. And I don't mean we won't be here to listen, but maybe someone impartial to this whole situation, someone who could give you a different perspective, perhaps?"

"You mean a shrink?" My voice raises a little.

"Yes. This was your first fight with Bella and look how it ended. There is obviously so much you haven't faced since Renata. Bella has helped you, it's true, and I'm beyond thankful to her for that. But at the same time, you can't expect her to carry all that on her own, right?"

I stare at Mom and think about her words. Bella has helped me deal with a few things; she listens and gives me advice, but Mom's right, I can't expect her to heal all the wounds from years of self-defeating behavior. Even now, when all this crap is obviously James' fault, I'm still finding ways to blame it on me, my stupidity.

"I'll- I'll think about it." I nod at Mom.

"Good." She pats my hand. "You know you can talk to us whenever you want, right? We're not going anywhere." She looks a little worried, as if I might actually walk away from them again. I hate that she still has that fear and that is my fault she feels this way.

"I know, Mom, I know." I smile and kiss her forehead, hugging her back

"Edward, the lawyers are here," Dad interrupts, and we turn his direction.

"Lawyers? How many did you call?" I'm fully expecting an army of lawyers in the living room right now.

"Well, I called a friend and then he offered to call another friend who might be able to help and then so on." He looks a little embarrassed. "Also, your lawyer, Alec, is here as well."

I stand up and go to him. He shouldn't feel embarrassed for helping me. I'm the idiot making him feel like this.

"Thanks, Dad." I hug him and after freezing in shock for a moment, he hugs me back.

"You're welcome, son." He sounds a little choked up. "We Cullens stick together and we're not letting him get away with this."

I laugh.

"Yeah, Mom made that clear earlier."

"Damn right, we're not," she says. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to feed an army of lawyers."

"Come on, son. Let's see what we can do to end this once and for all." Dad claps my back, and we enter the house.

We spend the rest of the day doing just that.

The next morning I'm awakened by a buzz. I haven't been able to really sleep much, only an hour or so at a time.

I open my eyes and take in my surroundings; I'm on my couch, a blanket covering me. I remember getting home last night, and just thinking about going to bed without Bella waiting for me almost made me go back to Mom and Dad's place. They offered me a room there, but I just needed to be alone after an afternoon of planning.

Next week will be hard enough as it is with all the meetings to deal with this mess. Any moment alone I can get, I'll take, even when all they do is remind me of Bella not being here.

I remember the buzz and realize that it's my phone next to the couch. I get up immediately and see a text from Bella.

I love you ~ B

It's simple and perfect, and lets me breathe easier. From the time on my phone, I can tell that it's nighttime in Seattle. I smile thinking that maybe she can't sleep without telling me this first.

I'll never stop loving you ~ E

I text her back. No matter what happens, those words are the absolute truth.

She doesn't text back, but I don't worry. I know she's thinking of me as much as I'm thinking of her.

O~o~O~LBO~O~o~O

I spend Saturday afternoon with Rose and Marie. I'm tired as hell; I keep going through everything over and over and even at night. I toss and turn, thinking about how things could've been different, where I went wrong, how I can change things now.

My head hurts and even with all of that, I still haven't been able to find a solution.

"Come on, Uncle," Marie whines. "Do the voices, please?"

I sigh; I'm not much of a playmate this afternoon.

"Leave your Uncle alone, Marie. He's tired," Rose says from the entrance of the kitchen.

"Okay." She sighs. "I'm gonna show Aimée my princess dress," she brightens up, and skips up the stairs.

"Aimée? As in Alice's daughter?" I ask Rose.

"Yeah, they're coming here in a little bit, for Marie's playdate." Rose shrugs like it's nothing, but she still eyes me with a little worry.

I haven't seen Alice for a couple of days and I know she took Bella to the airport. I honestly don't know what to think;,she saw her in a very bad state, and from her call to Rose that night, she was pissed as hell. She's probably still mad at me. Not that I blame her.

"Oh. I think I should go home then. I don't want things to get uncomfortable in front of the girls." I stand up and just as Rose is about to speak, the intercom buzzes.

Rose opens the door, and a happy Marie runs to both of them and takes Aimée's hand, hurrying upstairs once again.

It's just Alice, Rose and me in front of the door.

"Alice." I nod at her, a form of greeting. I'm so ashamed; I can't even look at her right now, and I'm waiting for her harsh words to come my way. They don't come though; she's actually very quiet.

"Edward, please–" Rose pleads from behind me.

"I have to go, Rose. I need to make some phone calls." I don't look at either of them as I say this and move to take my coat.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I turn and kiss her forehead and nod at Alice again.

Before anyone can say a word, I'm out of there.

O~o~O~LBO~O~o~O

On Sunday, I decide to just be alone at home. I receive a few calls from Mom and Rose asking me to come over, but I just wanted to be alone.

That night, I realize that my back can't take any more of the couch, so I go to sleep in my guestroom. I can't sleep on our bed.

Now it's Monday morning and I'm lying here on my bed, trying to decide if I should just skip work altogether or go in later. I haven't had a decent night of sleep since Bella left, and with everything that is happening, I can't let myself go to work in this state.

I hear the sound of my phone, and I roll my eyes. It's probably someone from work, asking me when I'll be there today.

However, when I see the screen, it's not work; it's Bella. She's calling, not just texting.

I hurry and answer, as I sit up on the bed.

"Hello? Bella?" I don't care how eager I sound; I just want to hear her voice.

"Hi" is her small reply. I close my eyes and imagine her in front of me, smiling and excited about whatever is happening in her life. Just like she looks every morning.

We're both silent after her greeting. I want to ask her so many things, but she called me. It's at her pace now, not mine.

Yet, she doesn't say anything else, making me think that maybe this is all she wanted: to hear my voice? I see the clock by the bed and realize that it's late in Seattle, yet here she is calling me.

I decide to just break the silence.

"Shouldn't you be asleep right now? Isn't it like the middle of the night in Seattle?"

"Yeah, it is. I just couldn't sleep," she answers shyly.

I hum and settle back in bed, already feeling myself relax even after the last couple of days. Just hearing her voice does that.

"Where are you?" she asks.

"At home, I skipped work today."

"Oh."

"Do you want me to hang up so you can go back to sleep?" I ask, maybe she wants to rest now that she heard my voice.

"No! I just… I couldn't sleep. I wanted to hear your voice, just to know that you're there." She sounds almost panicked.

"I'm here, Bella. I'll always be here." I reassure her, smiling as I arrange myself on the bed a little better.

"Are you in bed, Edward Cullen, in the middle of the morning?" Her voice sounds a little amused and I smile picturing her.

"Yeah, I am. I couldn't sleep last night either."

She hums and then silence falls again.

"Don't hang up," she suddenly says and her voice sounds a little tired. Maybe hearing my voice is having the same effect on her. We're both relaxing.

"I won't. Sleep, I'll be here."

We don't say anything else after that. I only hear her breathing through the line, and I close my eyes, picturing her in our bed, right next to me: her hair all tangled over the pillow, her hands under her cheek.

Slowly I start to fall asleep, but I can't let her go without telling her the most important thing: that I love her. Her reply is not very understandable, and it makes me chuckle that she's fighting sleep to say those words back.

Sleep comes and when I awake hours later, for the first time in almost a week, I'm able to truly smile and see a light at the end of the tunnel.

O~o~O~LBO~O~o~O

The next morning, I talk to Bella again. We don't say much and stay pretty much away from the main subject. We both know it's something we need to address in person, and at the same time, I don't want to have this talk and interrupt her time with her family. I just want her happy.

On Tuesday, I'm at work, and between working and dealing with the lawyers, it's a rough day. What makes it worth it is to know that things will be better if everything works as planned. James will no longer be a subject in my life, and I can finally let that go.

When I get home that night, I find something very unexpected waiting for me by my door.

Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rose waiting for me.

"What are you doing here?" I panic a little, why are the four of them here at my home? I feel the urge to get out, but where would I go?

"I think we need to have a little talk, dear Edward," Alice says. She looks a little pissed, but not as much as I was expecting.

I'm not sure if that's worse or not.

I let them in to the apartment, and they all settle around the living room. I offer them a drink, but they all decline.

"You're an ass." That's Emmett. I guess this is it.

"I know." I sigh and sit on the couch, next to Rose.

"Well, at least you're admitting it. I would've punched you if you didn't." He leans a little forward, his hands on his knees as he stares right at me.

"You're lucky I didn't see Bella before she left for Seattle, because four years ago, I promised myself to do everything in my power to never see the sad girl she was when she came here." I can tell this is hard for him. "She's amazing, and if I didn't see her as a little sister and I hadn't found Rose, I'd be a lucky bastard to call her my girlfriend.

"I haven't seen Bella this happy, ever, Edward. She's never been like this, and I know it's because of you. At the same time, you're the one who hurt her the most. I swear, it's taking everything in me not to punch you right now. And that's only because it would hurt Bella, and I can't bear do that to her."

He takes a big breath and closes his eyes. When he opens them, they're so clear; it's like the Emmett that just threatened me vanished.

"That being said. What the hell is up with you not calling us to come here and help you? I thought we were friends and all." He actually does look a little hurt and when I see Jasper and Alice, I see similar expressions.

"Uh?" What the hell is going on here?

"Did you really think we'd let you fight that asshole James alone? You're crazy, man. You're stuck with us." Emmett grins.

I'm not sure what to say. They are Bella's friends – no – they're her family. They'd have every right never speak to me again after the accusations I threw her way. No one is more ashamed than me, and if Emmett wanted to punch me, I'd let him.

"Please, Edward. Stop with the moping. Okay? We're here and we're not going anywhere. What kind of friends do you think we are? Yeah, what you said to Bella was crappy, but things are far from black and white here. You're both our friends, and that will stay that way, no matter what. You both need to get your shit together and move on," Alice says, and out of everyone here she was the one I least expected to hear this from.

"Alice would've said this last Saturday, but you just had to run, didn't you, little brother?" Rose smiles at me with glassy eyes.

I look around the room and see these people; these strangers only a few months back, now here supporting me. Me. We've spent time together, having fun and talking, but more than that, they're intertwined in my life and family. And now here they are, just because they care, no agendas or anything else.

They're amazing and just like it is for Bella, they're not just friends, they're family.

"Thank you," I whisper. I can't manage to say anything more than that.

"You're welcome." Emmett gets up from his seat and heads for the kitchen. How he knew where it was, I have no idea. "Now, I'm starving. What do you have?"

"I'll go check on him. This could end badly, since you probably don't have much food." Rose follows him. Alice gives Jasper a little squeeze to his hand and follows Rose.

Jasper just stares at me. He doesn't say anything, and his face doesn't show much either. I don't know what he'll say; maybe he disagrees with Alice and Emmett.

"Tell me the story." He doesn't demand; it's more like he knows getting the words out might help.

So I do, I tell him everything that happened. He listens and nods from time to time, never interrupting. It's no easier than the other times I've recounted the events aloud, but it does help a little.

"Emmett was right. You were an ass." He laughs without humor.

"I know, and all I want to do is go to her and beg for her forgiveness." I just want her in my life, in any capacity.

"Then why don't you?" he asks curiously.

"Because she needs time, with her family and away from me. I need to settle a few things here as well and think about my next steps." I know it's the best we can do, but the more I think about it, the more I think about her– I think 'fuck the plan, go to her.'

"If things were the other way around, how would you feel about her coming to you?"

I think about it for a second and picture her coming to me. I wouldn't care about her telling me she was sorry, because I would've gotten past that a long time ago. She wouldn't need to tell me she was sorry at all.

"Exactly," Jasper says suddenly. "That big smile on your face just answered the damn question." He claps my back and heads for the kitchen without saying anything else.

They're amazing friends indeed.

O~o~O~LBO~O~o~O

"Fuck, it's cold." I mutter and keep on walking. I have on a thick coat and a scarf, but December in Paris doesn't make it easy, even with warm clothes. The wind is freezing and it actually hurts a little to breathe.

People pass by me, all hurrying to get somewhere warm or heading for the subway behind me. They'd think I was crazy if they knew where I was heading, especially at this time of the night. All day long Jasper's words have been circling in my head.

"If things were the other way around, how would you feel about her coming to you?"

I've spent all day at work, and as things are, there is nothing more I can do, except let my lawyers do their work. They'll have an answer for me next week.

The word about Jane's actions spread around the studio, and everyone was talking about it, even though no one asked me outright. I knew the gossip. Most of them were surprised and disgusted by her actions. We considered ourselves almost a family now, and I came to realize that she not only betrayed me, but also the rest of her coworkers and friends.

Paul was furious; he felt so stupid for not seeing things before. He worked with her closely and was angry and embarrassed. I told him she fooled us all and that it was not his fault. She was a grown woman and knew what she was doing.

Funny how I can say and believe those words when they are directed to someone else, yet when it comes to me, I keep thinking that there was something I could've done to prevent all of this.

I keep walking, the cold wind hitting my face and I keep passing more people.

I see the lights from the city in the distance, but I will only stop once I get to my destination: Pont Neuf. I love that spot. I can see the city clearly, and when I stand there, it's just me, the river, and the city lights in the distance. I actually love all of Paris' bridges, but that one is a little special to me.

It was the place where, years ago, I decided to become a fashion designer. I knew I would; it was a dream for years, but after a hard critique from my art teacher in school, I thought that maybe I didn't have what it took to be any kind of artist.

I went to that bridge and saw the city before me, the endless possibilities. I knew life was simply too short not to do what I really wanted, whether I failed or not, at least I tried. That spot was where I finally decided on a direction.

I stop when I reach it: it's as beautiful as I remembered it. I can't believe I haven't brought Bella here yet. She'd love the sight from the bridge, more at night, as the lights illuminate the river, like little stars dancing in the water.

I shiver from the cold, but I don't care. It actually helps me to do what I came here to do, to keep my head clear.

With gloved hands, I retrieve the paper from my pocket: Renata's letter.

I finally grew a pair and decided to read it, to see what the hell she had to say to James and maybe find some sense in her actions. I knew that was a long shot, but I needed to try.

The first place I thought about was this spot. It was the place where I made a decision that changed my life. I felt it was fitting since this letter would help me decide what to do next.

I open it, holding it tight so as to not let the wind carry it away, and taking a big breath, I read it.

The words flow beautifully from line to line; putting onto paper such deep feelings that it's impossible to think these words came from the woman I married. She talks about love and a future, and fuck, it even hurts to think she won't have any of this.

She loved the bastard. She loved him.

I tighten my grip around the paper; this is so much different than I thought.

I can't think of anything else as I put the letter back in my pocket and place my hands in front of me, supporting myself on the stone railing for a few moments.

I breathe in and out, seeing the fog from the cold as I exhale. I actually welcome the burn from the freezing wind.

"Fuck!" I yell.

This changes how I see Renata, not just as a cold bitch, but someone who, in her mind, had a reason to do these things. As fucked up as that was.

Images of my time with her flood my mind: all the lies, the outings when she would go to him, all the moments she must've shared with him, all the while loving him.

Then I remember discovering what she did and throwing her away, refusing to listen to what she had to say. She died alone, for fuck's sake. She loved someone, and he wasn't there for her.

I lift my head and stare into the city.

He wasn't there.

I don't know if he loved her or not, but he should've said something to Renata. He clearly didn't if she ended up killing herself. Was it because of love? Did my actions have anything to do with her suicide after all?

Too many questions, but the only fact that keeps coming back to me is that, he wasn't there for her when she was hurting.

Like I'm not there for Bella now that she's hurting.

She won't kill herself, of course, but she shouldn't be hurting at all, now or ever. And from the calls we've had every day, and sensing the relief in her voice when she hears mine, I know I'm the one who can stop that pain.

What the hell am I doing here?

She's always the one taking the first steps: first kiss, first to say 'I love you', and she always waits for me to catch up. Well, enough is enough. It's time for me to show her the man she brought to the surface, not the one I am for her, but the man I am because of her.

I'm going to Seattle to get my girl back.

And there ya go, he went for his girl.

So, initially this was supposed to be in LB, however, at the time I debated a lot about doing this part from EPOV or BPOV… you know who won, lol. For many reasons, BPOV felt the best, however this side always stayed with me. As you can see, not much happens here plot-wise and you heard a lot in LB about this week as well. So, this is not that foreign.

In other news, I already wrote outtakes 8 and 9 and I'll post as soon as they are ready. I'm thinking about a 10th one, but I still have to work on some points. If you see clearly, all the outtakes are chronological, so you can guess what may come next. ;-)

Also, I completely forgot to thank twilover76 for recc'ing LB in her story 'No Ordinary Proposal' back in July, I think. I'm sooo lame, but at least I catch up, lol. She's super sweet and I totally blushed and smiled when I saw that. There might've been squealing. Might've.

Thank you.

Anyway, I might be forgetting something again, but nothing to do but to post it in the future, lol. This is why I write everything.

Thanks for reading (if you're still here) and I'll see ya around.