Hello! I'm back with an update and I know it's been too long! I apologize again for the same reasons as before :). I know some of you think it was stupid to put Rivergron sexy times but I was thinking, either way Naya was going to sleep with another girl and putting a familiar face, I thought, was even better than recreating a new character. I mean we all notice the connection they have. I am a die hard Heya/ Brittana shipper so don't fret; that was a diversion and an opening for more angst from both Naya and Heather. Okay, I will stop babbling and get on with it. This one's from Naya's POV. I hope you like it; and please please comments and reviews are very appreciated!
My head swirled in confused emotions. What was I supposed to do? I'm standing here gobsmacked by what just happened right before my eyes. Dianna is still waiting for me to say something but I genuinely have no idea what to say. I was not expecting this, at all. I had no intentions of telling Heather what I've been doing with Dianna because first of all, I don't even know what we're doing. I mean yes, we're sleeping together but there have been no talks about building a romantic relationship; neither of us want anything more than just the physical intimacy. Secondly, I'm still in love with Heather; there's no doubt about that, and maybe I was trying to move on, Dianna is helping me do just that, but seeing those blue eyes inflicted with pain, still broke my fucking heart. There was no way in hell I was close to being over her. I just made a cluster fuck of this whole situation and I have no idea where to begin picking up the pieces of my once uncomplicated life.
"I think you should go and talk to her." Dianna stated the obvious which made me glance at her with questioning eyes.
"But I, Di, we're—"the words just couldn't leave my tongue and I mentally face palmed myself for that.
"Naya, we're sleeping together. I know that and you're thinking you don't want to run after her because you might offend me." Dianna was once again working on her expert human psychology.
"Di, I like you. I like hanging out with you and you've helped me deal with this more than anyone else. I don't want you to think that I'm using you. You're one of my best friends and I just lost one recently, I don't want to make the same mistake twice just because, well…I couldn't keep it in my pants." I explained as politely as possible. I felt Dianna's lip curl in a supportive smile.
"Rivera, you really need to stop over thinking. Yes we had sex, it was great. You're great but we both know why we're in this situation. We're helping each other get over other people. I don't expect you to marry me tomorrow. I want you to know that if you want to run after Heather, you can do it. You're still in love with her and my awesome skills in bed would never change that fact." Dianna said as light heartedly as possible.
I had to smile at Dianna's reaction. I was seriously contemplating just running in front of a bus just to escape the torment I was going to get from her but clearly she was more chilled out than I thought. "I don't even know what to say right now Di. You're great."
"I know, I know." She said with a shoulder shrug. "Naya, if you ever need me I'll be here for you but I think you really should sort this out because frankly, I can't stand seeing you guys like this. It was great sleeping with you. Now let me get my bra before I forget."
I chuckled in amusement despite the heavy feeling in my heart as the pained expression in Heather's face replayed in my head over and over again. "Hey Di, I know you and Lea are not in the best of terms and if I can do anything… just tell me okay?"
She smiled at me once again, the smile that has lead me to believe that I can get over the other blonde in my life. "You've done enough, Nay. We're all good in the hood."
I stepped forward to give her a hug; it was the least I could do after this whole weird confrontation. She obliged by burying her face in the crook of my neck. I must admit that this past week has been more than bearable because of Dianna and I'm forever grateful at her for that. "If it's any consolation, you're a great catch. Anyone would be lucky to have you, Di."
She snorted and hit my arm playfully, "Naya, stop with the compliments, I'm blushing. Now, go get your woman and please do it successfully?"
"Heather?" I called out as I knocked softly on the thin door of her trailer. I could feel my head swirl with emotions; I don't know how I'll be able to explain myself in all honesty. "Are you in there?"
I've been standing out here for a mere five minutes and there's no sign of her being in the trailer. The door was locked and all the windows were sealed shut with the curtains closed. Yes, I have contemplated climbing through the windows in sheer desperation. Sweat was building up on my forehead from the scorching L.A. heat and the nervous anxiety I was currently experiencing. I've tried calling her but her phone went straight to voicemail.
"Heather, if you get this please call me back. I really need to explain myself. Please." I pushed the end call on my screen. Tenth message in five minutes, man I was desperate to reach her.
"Naya?" a familiar voice called out from behind, I froze on the spot for a few seconds before nervously turning around to face the owner of the voice, "Are you're looking for Heather?"
"Hey Lea, "I nervously chewed on the inside of my bottom lip. Shit, does she know anything? "Yeah, I am. Have you seen her?"
"Yeah, she went home. She said she needs to pick her dress up for tonight." Lea answered without a hint of coldness or anger so I assume she doesn't know anything about me and Dianna.
"Tonight?" I asked curiously; trying to think if I've missed something on my calendar.
"Yeah, it's the Fox party. You don't remember?" she raised her eyebrow in concern.
"Oh shit! I completely forgot. I need to go Lea! Thanks." I ran to my trailer as fast I could to pick my car keys up and head home quickly. I better get my shit together before tonight because I need to explain myself. I need to fix this once and for all.
As the limousine drove to the driveway of the event, I could hear the roar coming from the crowd. I looked out of my tinted window to see fans of all ages waving banners, screaming indecipherable words I take to be our names and taking photographs as if we were their heroes. All I ever wanted in life is right here surrounding me and yet, I couldn't even force a smile on my face. No, Naya. You don't have it all. You don't have what matters the most. I contemplated not going to this event because I'm not even sure I could handle all the press and interviews waiting for me outside this vehicle. Right now I feel secure, I feel protected from the harsh realities of the world outside waiting to devour me. If I step out of this car, I need to face the consequences. I need to face the complication I so happily built around me and that was not a thrilling thought.
My heart feels heavy with guilt every time I try to inhale; it really was a struggle to breathe knowing that somewhere out there, Heather is angry at me, for betraying her; for treating her like a fool. I know we weren't exclusively in a relationship but hell; I shouldn't have slept with Dianna, even though it felt like the right choice at that time. Heather deserves to be mad but I also deserve to explain myself.
The car came to a halt and I took one last breath before stepping out into the outside world, ready for everyone's admiration and criticism. I need to conduct myself properly and appear all put together even though inside I am a wreck. There's a lot to think about during a press party like this but I know I'll only be thinking about one thing.
As the door opened, the screaming became louder and the flash coming from the cameras intensifies, almost temporarily blinding me. I put on a smile just so no one suspects anything. It was a routine; I'm an actress. I do this for a living. I look around to see the familiar faces of my cast mates but she was nowhere to be seen. Maybe she's late or maybe she's already inside. I don't know. I just want to get past the interviews and get inside to look for her but it's seems impossible as the press surrounds me in no time.
"Look here Naya!"
"You look stunning! Who's your designer?"
"Naya do the twirl!"
The strangers called out my name, asking me to do things. Smile, turn around, show off your dress. I obliged. It's my job; I should be in love with every minute of it. This is the reward to all my hard work. I walked down the red carpet posing, smiling, and waving to the fans. The interviews were next and I plan to make them as quick as possible.
"Hi Naya, are you excited for tonight?" the young Access Hollywood correspondent asked me with enthusiasm.
"Yeah I am! I can't wait to see the other guys!" I put on an excited tone to my voice. I'm an actress, I got this.
"That's great. We've been hearing great things about season 3. What can we expect from your character?"
"You can expect Santana to be doing what she does best. There's lot of bitching, snide remarks and just pure Latina awesomeness and yes, singing of course." I answered light heartedly; trying not to brush on a specific subject.
"And what about you and Brittany? Any progress on that?" she asked eagerly.
"You just need to wait and see." I cryptically answered. We weren't allowed to give anything away.
"Back to the real world, how did you react when you heard about Heather's news?" She smiled, encouraging me to give a long answer.
"What news?" I asked, confused by the question.
"Aw, you don't have to cover this up Naya! She's your best friend, we all know it! She just told us that she recently got engaged to her long term boyfriend Taylor Hubbell and showed off her ring. Did you girls have a night in or out to celebrate?" she explained.
My throat felt dry all of a sudden and my jaw momentarily hung open as I tried to mask the impending outburst I felt was coming. I smiled forcefully, trying to gather the right words and not blurt out something like holy fuck, she's engaged.
"Well? Don't tell me she didn't tell you first?" the correspondent asked again.
"Oh yeah of course she did. Unfortunately we haven't had time to celebrate properly but I am so happy for her. She deserves to be happy." I answered with as much sincerity as I could muster. I smiled to let her know that it was going to be the last question.
"Aw, well you girls need to do something about that! Thank you for your time, Naya."
"Yeah, we will. Thank you for your questions." Oh you have no idea.
I continued walking down the red carpet, still completely dumbfounded by the bomb of a question the interviewer just dropped on me. I wasn't paying much attention to the people surrounding me until I caught the sight of a tall blonde posing for pictures near the entrance to the venue. Beside her was a tall lanky guy smiling like a mad dog. On her hand was a ring, glimmering brightly. On her face was a smile, but her eyes told a different story as they locked onto mine.
Now more complications! Damn it. More angst, sorry to happy people for doing this... I just love writing angst. x