Authors Note: I struggled with these next two chapters. I'm an accountant, not a writer. I don't mind reading smut, but I can't write it. I don't know how to write it well enough to keep the reader's attention. I figured I could gloss over it and leave much of it to the reader's imagination, but it didn't come out the way I liked. I hope you enjoy even though I know it sucks LOL.
(Barba's POF)
Rafael lay in bed, one arm tucked behind his head, the other wrapped around Liv as she slept on his chest. He could smell the perfume that lingered from the day before. He wasn't sure of the brand, but he wanted to commit the fragrance to memory. Light from the dawn of a new day slowly seeped in through the window. He had been awake for the past hour or so, staring at the ceiling, trying to recall how they ended up here. Well, he knew how they got there; he was trying really hard to remember how it all happened because it was something deep down he knew he'd never want to forget..
They had finished watching the movie and while Liv put her son to bed, Rafael began cleaning things up. He was looking forward to some alone time with Liv, although he hadn't quite expected it to go in the direction it had.
He glanced down at her and smiled as the memories began to come back to him.
He had finished pouring Liv a glass of wine, fully prepared to sit on the sofa and talk about "them." To find out if she felt the same? He was confident she did, but after years of working with SVU, he needed to be sure. Linda was right, he couldn't be afraid anymore. He was tired of being alone and he wanted to love someone and for them to love him back.
He had been absorbed in his own thoughts when Liv came into the kitchen and startled him. She had gently run her finger tips across his back as she moved to see what was left to clean. She had touched him many times before, but that time he felt a jolt of electricity shoot through him. It sounded so juvenile to say, but the butterflies he had been feeling were all too real.
Suddenly time had stopped. Their breathing had intensified as they stared at each other. Everything was in slow motion. Liv then stepped forward and took the glass of wine out of Rafael's hand and placed it on the counter. Rafael could feel her breath on his lips; he reveled in the feeling of her closeness.
Their kiss was tentative at first and then deepened with intensity as the emotional side of their brains took over. When she broke away from the kiss, he had begun to panic, what had gone wrong? Images from the past, those he had tried so hard to bury, began to unearth themselves. Tears welled up inside him; his eyes began to burn as he tried to suppress them. He searched her face and instead what he saw looking back at him was pure lust. Liv took his hand into hers and lead him to her bedroom. The only light came from a candle on her dresser. It cast shadows in the room and at times when the flame sputtered, the light danced on the walls.
He tried very hard to suppress a chuckle as he recalled how awkward it first was. It definitely had not been like the movies.
They had fumbled with each other's buttons, were sometimes not in the right position, and even once completely missed each other's lips when they went to kiss. Instead of dwelling on their missteps, they instead showed the other how they liked to be touched, or the tempo they preferred. So when the second time came, they were 100% in sync with each other.
Rafael beamed with pride; twice in one night was pretty good for a guy in his late 40's.
He cared deeply for Liv and he hoped he had showed her how much last night. Who was he kidding? He knew he was falling for her, but he wasn't ready to say he was "in love" with her, there was still so much to learn about her, and even though he had heard what Linda had said to him, he still needed to protect his heart, but as he looked down at her, he knew she had pretty much dismantled every stone in that wall he had built up, and it was only a matter of time until the inevitable happened.
His heart began to beat a little faster as he felt Liv stir. He knew she'd be awake shortly and he was anxious to see how she felt about all of this…
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