White Hibiscus ~ホワイトハイビスカス~

伍~Wide Open Liars~

I could close my eyes.
I could tell myself to see nothing.
I could feel it moving.
I could hear it breathing, but I saw nothing.
It could become nothing.

I sometimes question the point of having a meeting when the leaders are not present and the remaining members turn up late, showing very little interest in participation. The past few meetings after all were all headed by Aizen-sama, who insisted that the Espadas get together more often so that they see one another as comrades, and not contemplate to kill off one another all the time.

I will close my eyes.
I will see nothing.

Without Aizen-sama in Las Noches, it was almost equivalent to the absence of proper governance. I had to sit in the middle of the long table to watch the lower-leveled Espadas raise their voices and try to take over the meeting and get a glimpse of what it feels like to be on higher grounds. If it not for Aizen-sama, I would have stitched their lips together before prying a hole in their chests. The meeting was getting almost out of hand.

If all I see is nothing, then nothing becomes the absolute truth.
This darkness that lies ahead will lull me deeper and deeper.
The emptiness in a completely dark world is peaceful.

I stood up. The sound of dragging the white marble chair across the floor made the Espadas fall silent. The room was back to its peaceful state. "Do whatever you want, as long as Las Noches remains intact. The instructions given are that simple. Stay alive." With that, the Espada Meeting was finally over. There was no need to brainstorm too much with those rash imbeciles. After all, those who would offer intellectual tactics were all dispatched to Karakura Town.

I exhaled wearily and paced slowly as I watched the black lines that tiled the paths of the long gray corridors. I found myself dreading to enter the arched room even though my fingers are resting comfortably in the side pockets. Then again, there was something peculiar about that white room that would always make me want to enter time and time again. I was so accustomed to observing changes that when things become too stationary in the room, I would find it calming to watch. I could not offer an explanation to it, but I gradually found myself perceiving the back view of the standing orange-haired woman to be serene. There was no impending threat coming from the target, nor were there sudden movements.

When the white room became visible, I felt something was amiss today. The woman was not standing in her usual position. Her reiatsu was still around the vicinity of that place, so there was no need to comb through Las Noches to find her. I tried tracking the trail of her reiatsu, only to realize that she was lying right in the middle of the rug of … my room. All of a sudden, there was so much to process in my head – all the questions and analysis revolving this unintended change. I had no idea what this woman wants to try this time, but the fact that she infiltrated my room today was undoubtedly questionable.

"What are you doing, woman?" I stood behind her, my eyes peering down at her face. Even with her eyes closed, her features were defined. Her cheeks seemed more visible than before, which could only meant that she was not eating her meals again. Her orange hair stood out from the black rug easily was straighter than yesterday, which meant that she did move over to the rack to use the comb when I left the room. Her white outfit glowed under the pale light; the bold and black lines that traced her curves seemed to determine an apt decision in removing her civilian clothing.

There was no reply.

I knew by now, that she could hear me very well. She just refuses to reply, that's all. It was as if she wants to take control of the conversation. It is okay; I am totally fine with that. I do not like to converse with people over meaningless squabbles anyway. "You…" She breathed out; the singular syllable rang loudly in my ears. I was not expecting her to talk to me today. Her gray irises slowly looked up into mine.

"You are back," She closed her eyes once more, as if she was defiantly testing my patience.

"You are in the wrong room, woman," I had to put it across to her, lest she had not noticed it.

"I know," She smiled a little, as if she was enjoying the moment of intruding into my personal space. Her lips were turning paler – a sign of dehydration. As I moved towards the dark-colored jug by the window and poured a glass of water, I heard her speak again.

"How does it feel?"

How does it feel?
What are you talking about?

"Drink up, woman," I placed the glass of water right beside her fingers and sat down.

"Don't you ever feel unhappy?" She asked another question.

"Stop talking and drink that glass of water," I repeated my instruction, this time I rephrased in another manner. I was starting to wonder if my sentences were structured in a manner that comprehension was compromised under normal circumstances. The truth was, I was at a loss of words. After all, what does it feel like to be unhappy? Have I ever felt unhappy before?

I could not feel anything.
There is nothing to be felt anyway.

"If you answer my question, I will drink the glass of water," She pushed my limits again, like how she had done it before.

I looked over, and I saw her eyes looking back at mine. The dark rings that were hanging at the bottom of her eyes revealed her state of dehydration. Her irises were shaking, as if they were on the verge of insanity. Even so, her thin fingers were inching mischievously to the glass of water. Even at her current physical state, she showed no signs of backing down.

"No," I gave in reluctantly. She smiled once more and lifted the glass weakly. The glass wobbled and fell a few centimeters. Just as it was about to hit the rug, I barely pinched the tip of the glass with my fingers. Fortunately, not a single drop of water spilled out.

There was a very faint giggling sound coming out from her and I saw a thumbs-up.
"You really have excellent reflexes," She commented.

"And you can't feel unhappiness. Life must be… really boring here," She continued to comment away breathlessly as I loomed over her in the same fashion. The frequency of her voice was a lot lower than that night's, but it was echoing loudly in my head. I could tell that she was too weak to resist as long as I apply force to it. Without much hesitation, I grabbed the glass of water and I made sure that her right hand was firmly locked onto the rug. I stared hard at her eyes and I tried to inflict fear with a little reiatsu. I inhaled deeply and ignored her remarks.

"Get up. Finish this glass. Leave the room," I delivered my command and waited for her response. She looked at me, her lips slightly twitched at first, and then she looked away. I could feel her weak pulse from the veins on her wrist; it was a lot slower than before. She bit her lips and…

She said my name.

"Ulquiorra,"

I froze. My shoulders stiffened up.
There was a peculiar feeling to it.
I could not describe what it was.

"I…can't get up," Her eyes were fixed onto mine. She didn't seem to feel bothered about the fact that our faces were only ten centimeters apart. She knew she couldn't fight back, so she tries to reason with me in this stance.

"I… have no intention of lying here,"

Her voice…

"I wanted to see your room,"

Ulquiorra, close your eyes.
Filter the sound away.
Fall into the piece of darkness.

"So I walked over and I saw it was empty,"

I can't. The wavelengths projecting out from her body were filling up the entire room like violent vibrations. I could hear her breathing; I could hear her heart beat; I could pick out the sound of her blood flowing across the arteries; I could hear her lips shivering; I could hear…almost everything.

"I stood for a while. I saw your window, and then…"

"Everything went black,"

For a while, there was a period of silence.
There was nothing in absolute darkness.
It surely had become nothing.
Her existence was fading away.

"You need this," I tilted her head upwards and poured the glass of water into her slightly agape mouth. I released my grip on her wrist and watched her attempt to sit up.

"Thank you," She replied as she reached out her right hand to support herself to sit upright. I walked to the other side of the room to fetch the IV drips. She needed these bags to keep her alive before she decides to eat properly.

"Why do you want to see this room?" I asked her.

"I want to see what you see in this room," She replied, her eyes fixed on the ceiling of my room.

I found it hard to respond to that question. She was always giving very strange answers to everything, as if it was close to impossible to predicting her next move. She was functioning like a random permutation with infinite possibilities.

"And then…get to know you," Her eyes briefly watched my reaction to those words. I could sense her doing that, so I feigned ignorance.

"As an enemy?" I had to pop the question, even when I was fully aware of her reply. Then again, she was a tricky target to generate an accurate analysis of her somewhat erratic behavior.

"No, as one of you," She reached out her left arm and pointed her feeble trembling finger at me. My eyes widened at the sudden realization that she was declaring a change of allegiance. Did she mean that she was no longer standing on the same side with her so-called 'friends' anymore?

"You lie, woman," I sighed out loud and rested my body in the exact posture as she did. The black rug felt different when I was resting on it. I never knew it could be this soft for I had always trampled on it without noticing much. I glanced up and I saw the plain, dull-looking gray ceiling.

What was so interesting about this view anyway?

"There's nothing here at all," I remarked, my eyes continued to look up. I could feel her pushing her elbows towards the rug to turn her body sideways. She then leaned closer to where I was; her eyes were looking at my nose.

"I know," She nodded her head and drew an arc with her palm slowly in the air.

"This place..." She then took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

It feels like a peaceful swirling black hole, she said.
I could not see the hole like she claimed to have seen it.
Yet, I could somehow understand what she was trying to say.
Without seeing it. I could sense it.

"Maybe we should all stop fighting; and we could all learn to get along better," She commented.

"You lied again, woman. Our ideals are not even common. We could never get along," I refused her statement.

"Liar," She giggled and stretched her finger out towards my face. I stopped her wrist before she could progress any further. She smiled as she flashed her IV drip at me, like she was hinting to me that I should not maltreat her any further.

"Look, we are getting along now, aren't we," She poked my cheek the instant I let go of her hand. I flicked it away. For that brief second, I had thought that perhaps I deliberately allowed her to do that weird action.

"Liar," I replicated her words.
How could such conversations determine that we were getting along better?

I closed my eyes again.
When I opened those eyes, I saw hers.
My eyes could only be telling the truth.
Her existence seemed permanent.

The last words I heard that night before she went into a deep slumber was
"Good night, Ulquiorra-kun,"

There was no need to transport her back that quickly, I suppose.

yu-pon's note:

Hellooooo~~
It's been one year since I stopped writing, so I should seek for your kind forgiveness. I need some oiling for sure, lol.
I lost my account in such a way I forgot which was the email that I registered an account for...
Thank goodness I found it!
I am not too sure if anyone reads this anymore...but I ought to complete it anyway!

I love writing about Ulquiorra and Orihime in a ...not-so-romantic way, which is why I decided to write about a possible conversation going on between the two of them. Lalala.

I'll see everyone soon~ I am halfway done for the next one.
I am really going to throw Grimmjow in next chapter!

ほなおつ～
yu-pon deshita~