Installment 7: The Confession
Idiot.
That was probably the best word to describe himself right now.
"Idiot..." Roy looked up to see a stack of papers shoved in his face. "You really are an idiot."
"Shut your trap, Elric," he snorted.
Edward snickered and folded his arms across his chest.
"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me," the blond chanted.
"Midget."
"Don't call me a midget!" Edward shrieked.
Roy took a small amount of pleasure in the teen's rant. Picking on Edward was one of his favorite past times, and the only entertainment he got during the work week. He tuned out the hotheaded blond and absently flipped through the papers he was handed. It looked fine; his writing ususally was, and looked like it wouldn't need much improvement.
Once again, as it so often had in the past week since his stupid move, his mind drifted to Sharlen. He couldn't forget the look of shock on her face... or how she just turned and ran away from him. Had that... ever happened before? Now that he thought about it... this was the first time someone had run away from him after he had kissed them. Usually, they smiled and returned it and that more often than not led to...
"Roy! How goes?" Maes burst into the room, making the man jump. "Hm? Something wrong? Your face is turning bright red. You get a fever or something?"
"Hughes..." Roy mumbled, letting his head fall against his desk."Never mind, we've got a job to do, remember?"
"Job?" he asked stupidly.
"You're covering the grand opening of Ducourte tonight, remember?" Edward said snidely.
"How do you know that? I never told you," Roy mumbled.
"My school is making me go to write an article about it for the school paper," the blond grimaced. "I have to dress up and everything. I'm really dreading it."
"You sound like a girl," Roy snorted. "Are you going to curl your hair and wear a pretty dress and everything?"
"Why don't you just drop dead?" Edward asked tightly, forcing a grin.
Roy chuckled to himself as Edward stormed away. The boy could be so transparent... it was hilarious. That's right... the opening of Ducourte was tonight... was he ready for that? Certainly he could handle the business part of it, but Sharlen was going to be there. How would he act? How should he act? He had done something foolish and she hadn't spoken to him in a week. He just had to jump the gun... and now he was sitting in his office, dreading the evening and wishing he was dead. He let his head fall to his desk, the ashtray nearby clinking from the motion. What was he going to do?
"Hey, you sleeping on the job again?" Maes burst through the door.
"Get lost," Roy grumbled sharply.
"No can do, sorry 'bout that. Come on, get up and go get dressed! We've got important business tonight," Maes chattered like a silly monkey and tugged on Roy's arm, nearly succeeding in dragging the man to the floor.
"I can't."
"Because of your little girlfriend?"
Roy sat up straight and shot Maes and confused and angry look.
"Come on, I'm your best friend. You can't keep everything secret from me. I saw how you reacted when she showed up at Ducourte last week. Seriously..." he said, lowering his voice.
"Stop with the cradle robbing."
"Ugh, seriously?" Roy screeched, standing up so quickly what his chair fell over. It clattered against the floor, but now paid any attention to it.
"Please, it's bad enough that you're the personification of the word 'womanizer' and I don't think you'd want to be labeled a pedophile on top of that," Maes smirked.
"She's seventeen," he said lamely.
"That's still under the age of majority," Maes pointed out. "If you want my advice, keep the relationship platonic as long as possible, preferrably until she's eighteen. Then you two can canoodle all you want."
"Oh geez, shut up!" Roy barked, clutching his head in this hands. "It's not like I planned on falling in love with her! It just happened!"
"You love her?"
"I what?"
"You said you didn't plan on falling in love with her. Do you love her?" Maes inquired.
Roy stopped to think. Did he love her? Should he love her? It did seem like a possibility... and those fleeting feelings he had felt back then did seem to be making a comeback. It would be so easy to love her, actually. There was just the whole suicide issue to work out.
"If you want anything from me, you'll have to save me first... save me from myself."
Her words echoed in his head, mocking him, teasing him... challenging him. His mouth formed a firm line and he stormed for the door.
He would go to the opening tonight, come what may. He would face Sharlen... he would apologize for what he did. He wasn't entirely sure of what his heart was feeling, but that was okay with him. Right now... he had something important to do.
His past? His reputation? They could rot in hell for all he cared.
He hurt someone he cared about very much. Whether that 'care' was 'love' or merely 'fascination' didn't matter; he still cared. He may as well have stabbed himself in the chest for all he was hurting inside. But...
Tonight would change everything, be it for better or for worse.
"Of course, you'll have to bring a date to the wedding. I'm sure you've got address books full of available women, but I highly recommend your little girlfriend," Maes rambled.
"She is not my girlfriend," he replied firmly, grabbing Maes' camera bag and shoving it into his friend's chest.
"Childhood sweetheart, then?"
"Maes, stop talking."
The two went their separate ways and Roy had to be extra careful as he drove home, because for some reason or another he wanted to speed like it was The Fast and The Furious. He changed into something a bit more formal, putting on a clean dress shirt and black slacks. He managed to do something with his hair so it didn't look as messy as it usually did. As soon as he was ready to step out into Central's night life, he breezed out the door and made a beeline for his car.
Ducourte was already teeming with people, though it was only a quarter past six and the opening wasn't scheduled to start until seven. Now that he was here, ironically, Roy felt sick to his stomach. He hadn't seen the redhead yet, but knew he would eventually and that frightened him just a bit. What was he going to do? What should he say?
"You've got a lot of balls to show your face here tonight," a voice commented sourly.
"I'm sure most of it's just stupidity," he replied.
He looked to his left and saw Sharlen standing moodily next to him. She wore a deep purple dress with a plunging neckline and had her hair pinned out of her face. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and cocked an eyebrow. She expected him to say something.
"Look, I came because..."
"You needed to cover the opening, right, Mister Reporter? You didn't care about me, you just cared enough about your reputation to show up and do your job. I'm just one of your many back-up girls if something goes wrong, and the only reason you keep me around is because you get a kick out of the illegality of it, because I'm underage. Isn't that right?" she sneered and stormed off.
Ooh, that was it. That was the very last straw.
"Sharlen," he called, weaving through the crowds of people in the restaurant. "Sharlen, wait a minute."
"What?" she snapped, whirling around to glare at him.
"Can I explain?" he asked, though it was more of a sigh.
"Oh, you don't need to. I understand everything," she drawled. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some unfinished business to attend to."
"Hey, I'm trying to talk to you, damn it!" he snapped, still following her as she wandered aimlessly around the massive kitchen.
She folded her hands behind her head, but he knew she was covering her ears. He ground his teeth together and grabbed her wrist.
"Hey, what the hell?" she exclaimed.
"Since you insist on being stubborn, I have no choice but to make you listen."
"What are you doing? Let go of me!" she snapped.
He stormed out of the restaurant, dragging her along behind him. His job? His reputation? He'll be damned; compared to this, they meant little.
"Ow! Hey!" she whined as she was shoved inside his car. "There's a word for this, it's called kidnapping!"
"Sit down and buckle your seatbelt. I'm not going to leave you alone until you listen to me," he said nonchalantly.
Sharlen grumbled, but obliged and buckled her seatbelt. She glared moodily out the window as he drove through the city. Why? Why now? Why did he have to say he wanted to explain? She already understood everything...
"I thought I wasn't supposed to come over at night anymore," she commented when they were inside his apartment.
"Too late for that now, I suppose. Make yourself comfortable. If you're going to be this obstinate all night, we could be at this impasse all night and probably well into tomorrow," he shrugged out of his overcoat and tossed it over the back of the couch.
"Or what?" she demanded.
"I'll strap you down and make you listen to me."
"Now you're resorting to kinky domestic violence?"
"If that's what it takes to get you to listen to me."
"I told you, I already know," she said snottily.
"No, you don't," he snapped, turning around to face her.
"Horsefeathers," she snorted, making her way to the door.
"God damn it, Sharlen, can't you listen to me? I am trying to fix my mistake!" he sighed angrily, following her.
He reached out and grabbed her wrist, preventing her from walking any further. She whirled around and glared at him feircely, but it didn't affect him.
"What are you doing? Let go of me!" she cried as he backed her up against the wall and leaned over her, further preventing any movement.
"No... I won't," he said firmly, tightening his grip. "I won't let go, I won't leave you alone. If I can't fix you, I'll accept you as you are. If I can't save you, I'll go down with you. I'd do anything for you. I won't let you go, I won't leave. I'll always be here, even if it seems like you don't want me. I refuse to leave you alone. I've waited thirteen years to find you again, and I will not lose you again, Sharlen..."
He felt his cheeks heat up almost unbearably. He wanted to look away, but he didn't. Was it that he couldn't... or that he didn't want to? Either way, he just had to tell her...
"I love you."
Area 51 1/2 2-21-11: Almost done already! But... this story is only ten chapters long, so that makes sense. I'm so used to writing these big over-forty-five-chapter-long epics that something as small and concise as this is throwing me off a bit. I think... for my next under-fifteen-chapters-long story, I'll do a romantic comedy... maybe some boy's love? I already wrote a RoyXEd one (however crappy it may be), so maybe this time I'll try Elricest?
I spent the past few days lying in bed and doing nothing. Well, I have been a little ill lately (emotionally, not physically) so that might make sense. But it's mostly to stay warm!
Well, that's not entirely true. It snowed recently, and where I live (up a mountain... the Sierra Nevada's... I'm kinda close to dodge Ridge) when it snows a lot like it did recently, the power usually goes out! I've had no power for a few days now and I'm really, really cold! And I really want something warm in my stomach... but it's so cold that the food in the fridge isn't going bad, so that's a good thing? I've been living off chips, Pop-Tarts (unheated, unfortunately), and string cheese since the power outage (there's your Rin-chan's Food Recommendation for this chapter). Apparently, the entire town is out of power and it'll take a while to get power up near my house...
There was a lot of damage caused by the snow. Zillions (not really, but quite a few) trees fell over, and I'm assuming they've taken power lines down with them, which is why no one's had any power for the past few days. There's a big oak tree right next to my house and part of it, a really big branch, broke off and totally crushed our woodshed! And in the backyard, one tree was completely uprooted! I heard people using chainsaws all day, so hopefully we'll get poer back soon. I really miss the heat. I'm going to move somewhere where it never snows! Maybe... Brazil or something. Normally, I'd say Egypt, but considering what's been going on recently that might be just about the stupidest idea on the face of the planet.
My fingers are so cold, and typing is a bit of a chore. I can't even draw, which is really bugging me because I got an idea for a really cute picture of Al (I tried drawing the pencil sketch; it was an EPIC fail) and a shockingly shojo picture for Ed! I was reading Full Moon the past two days, and Tanemura-sensei's drawings always inspire something...
Ironically, this same exact thing happened back in November! Only two trees fell over onto our power lines, so we had no power for a few days longer than everyone else... I've been traumatized by the incident (they fell over right outside my window) and I now hate snow. I want it to be summer! Heat! Sunshine! I want to eat ice cream without freezing to death!But for some reason, I wear a sweater no matter what the weather is like (it can be a hundred degrees out or snowing, I'll wear a sweater) but I'd much prefer the heat right now! I condemn this crappy winter weather to Hell! And my hair is just a nuisance to deal with... it gets greasy and oily after one day, so it gets hard to manage (not to mention cold against bare skin!) and I can't fix it because there's no hot water with which I can shower! I'm sorry, but personal hygeine can take a vacation for a few days if pneumonia might be caught if I get my hair wet or something... the water still works, there's just no hot water.
I've never been so cold, hungry, and pissed off in my entire life! Not to mention unclean and smelly. I officially hate the cold weather. Spring is my new favorite season. I got cabin fever so bad... I was mad at everything! I was in a really rotten mood for most of the power outage.