Rising Phoenix

by HermanTumbleweed

A rollicking HHr story of 7th year, which PARODIES many of my favorite authors while telling a fun story of what COULD happen. An Azkaban story, sort of, with many surprises. Oh, and clench your buttocks, it is a sometimes bumpy ride. You've been warned..

7. Chapter 7 The Pigs with Two Faces

Rising Phoenix

By

Herman Tumbleweed

The author felt a something pointy press against the side of his neck and winced. "Not again," he complained. "How am I supposed to write this with people poking sticks at me all the time…" he looked up… and gulped.

"What you got against toads, Boy?" The woman was about five foot by four foot and looked for all the world like a toad, he didn't quite know what to say to her, at first.

Thinking not too quickly the author gulped a couple of more times and replied, "Er, ah, nothing, ma'am. I like toads."

"Then why you always sayin' I look like one?"

"Uhmmm, because it's funny?"

"To you maybe, but my pet toad doesn't like it, so knock it off!"

"Er, yes ma'am. Anything else?"

"You gonna remember the disclaimer this time?" She waved the stick menacingly.

"Oh yeah, got that part down to a science. No problem." He started typing furiously:

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter universe or most of the characters contained in this story. I'm not getting one red cent for this and no copyright infringement is intended. This work is for the enjoyment of the author and such warped, weird fiends, I mean my fan family, as may read it."

"How's'at, ma'am?"

"Not too bad, for a rookie. Now, are you going to do the other part, sonny?"

"Er, other part? Oh, you mean the":

A/N: Okay, yes I have creatively acquired some of the ideas for this story from other fanfic authors, and I thank them from the bottom of my black little thieving heart. Most of them have given me permission to abuse their wonderful ideas with my paltry attempts at humour. The victims, er, donors include, Kinsfire, Old Crow, Abraxan, Jeconais, Udder pd, Quillian, Rorschach's Blot, Bob and Alyx aka Bobmi356, and some folks I may have forgotten about, purely accidentally of course. If you want to read some really, truly fine work, check out these authors… after you read and review mine of course.

"How'sat," he looked up to find the Toad Woman gone, just like the others. "Weird…" he ingeminated… "I do wish they'd stop calling me a rookie though…"

Chapter Seven:

The Pigs with Two Faces

Hermione came slowly awake, snuggled up to Harry with his arm around her, but something was definitely wrong here. For one thing they were sitting up, for another they were on something which was moving, and to make matters worse she could hear soft voices nearby; and, unfortunately, or fortunately given the nearby others, they had clothes on. "Oh bugger, bugger, bugger," she thought. She knew where she was, but didn't want to open her eyes and confirm it. She did anyway, one of them at least, instantly confirming what she knew to be the truth. Opening the other eye to make sure the first one wasn't lying to her, she blinked a couple times, groaned, and stretched. Just then Luna realized she was awake, told her they were almost to London, and that the three of them were going to the loo.

As soon as the door closed behind the others, Hermione cast Colloportus on the door, and swished her wand at the windows to close all the blinds. Then she climbed carefully onto Harry's lap and kissed him awake. He smiled without opening his eyes, whispering, "I love waking up to your kisses m'love."

Hermione giggled, he'd said the same thing almost every morning for the past month, except when one of them had woken the other with some form of sex play. "Mmm, I love waking you that way love, but you might not be happy when you open your eyes."

He thought about that for a moment, and without opening his eyes, said, "We're back aren't we?" His voice was resigned but hopeful.

"Yup." She giggled again, "Ready to do it all again, dear?"

He opened his eyes then, to look lovingly at her, "As long as it's with you, my sweet Hermione."

She smiled brightly, "No other way to do it, my Harry." They kissed long enough to make them both a bit breathless.

To her chagrin he lifted her off his lap, and said, "It's good we talked about this possibility yesterday, babe. But now we have several things to do." She nodded, pulling out a notebook and scribbling madly. He called quietly, "Cuinn, we need you my friend," and with a flash the phoenix landed on the seat next to Hermione.

"I ask again, oh wise and profound Phoenix Companion, do I look like a beast of burden?"

Harry snickered, told Hermione what he'd said, then replied, "No, oh wise arse Human Companion, you look like and overgrown partridge."

"Humph, so that's the respect I can expect. Okay for you, mate, I'm outa here."

Harry laughed and again related the avian's comments to her. She smiled and asked kindly, "Can you take this note to Professor McGonagall and bring her to platform nine and three-quarters, Cuinn?" He nodded and took the note Hermione handed to him, accepting her brief stroking of his neck, then launched himself and flashed away again.

Harry heard in his head, "At least someone appreciates my beauty and intelligence." Then the avian added, "See, I told you things would change…" and laughed.

Harry related what Cuinn had said, and they both laughed at the phoenix's wit.

"Baby," she asked, "what else do you think we need to do before we get to King's Cross? Anything you can think of other than what we discussed last night?"

"No, we just need to confront Ron and Ginny as quickly as possible and hope for the best. If Neville comes in first I'll ask him to go find her. I'd wager he knows where she is," he grinned.

"Yes, I'm sure he does, dear." She grinned as well. "You think he still fancies her after all this time? We've never talked about that in the alternate realities."

"I'm almost sure of it" he said with a knowing smile. "I saw how he looked at Dean, and then at me when she was going out with each of us. He got kind of distant toward each of us when we were dating her. I was kind of surprised he sat with us today. He's a good bloke, and I want him on our team. He's smart, probably smarter than me, and nearly as smart as you." He grinned crookedly at her.

"Okay, wise arse Phoenix Companion, you know what I have to say about that." She looked fiercely at him for a moment until the lopsided grin got to her and she had to smile. She'd never been able to resist that grin. Crawling back onto his lap, she looked into his eyes and said, "I know you're having me on, Harry, but I want you to stop even joking about that," she said seriously. "Even when you joke about something, you tend to take it inside you. I know you are very intelligent, and I will keep reminding you. I love you, dear, enough to be mean and make you remember it."

He lost his grin as that thought struck home, "Er, you wouldn't stop…"

She laughed, "Oh, Merlin no! Goddess forbid! I couldn't stop making love with you if I wanted to, which I don't. But I will find other ways to remind you. Besides, Mum and Dad made it very clear that using sex as a weapon is a very bad thing in a relationship. I'd never punish or reward you that way, it's just not right. By the way," she snickered as she kissed him lightly, "you do realize this means we are both virgins again, don't you?"

"Oh!" He exclaimed, then smiled broadly. "It does, doesn't it. Think we might remember how to have a good time though?"

She caught the devilish twinkle in his eyes, and replied, "Oh, I don't know. I seem to have this huge gap in my memory. You think you can teach me a few things?"

"I think so, maybe," he bantered back. "I seem to recall this really good book in your bookcase which might help some." He chuckled as her eyes smouldered with passion. He turned serious for a moment then, "Are you sure you want to start making love again right away, Hermione? I love you with all my heart, so don't feel like you are depriving me of something, alright?"

"Oh Harry… how did you get so wonderful growing up with those… people. And yes, I want you tonight. I remember all the wonderful nights in your arms and I don't think I could sleep well without you, my love. And it is a foregone conclusion if we are in the same bed we are going to have sex," she smiled impishly.

"Too true, love," he chuckled. Just then the door rattled and Hermione waved her wand at it to remove the Colloportus charm.

Neville came in looking dumbfounded when he saw Hermione sitting on Harry's lap. The latter smiled up at his friend, and asked, "Neville mate, could I ask you a favour?" At the other young man's stiff nod, he continued. "We will explain what is going on as best we can, but we need Ginny here when we do, so we can get all of you lot involved and informed. We'd rather only go through it once though, mate. Can you go find her for us?"

Neville looked dubious but nodded, "Sure mate," he replied, "I know where Ginny is."

Hermione grinned at their friend, "I'm sure you do, also could you try to hurry Ron and Luna along as well, if you see them?"

He smiled self consciously at her, "Sure, I can do that." Then he turned and left shaking his head, still looking perplexed.

PPPPPPPPPPPPP

Headmistress Minerva McGonagall was sitting at her desk feeling a bit bemused. After calling a house elf for tea, she turned her chair to gaze at the new portrait. Albus was sleeping just now, after they'd talked, briefly, earlier. That wasn't what had her disturbed; rather it was that she'd actually fallen asleep for an hour or so. She almost never had a kip in the afternoon; "Must be the stress from the past few days," she concluded. The other thing troubling her was that she now seemed to have some memories which were impossible for her to have.

The elf brought the tea, bowed and smiled shyly, then popped away. Minerva greatly liked the unassuming little creatures and thought Hermione had the right of it. "Hermione?" she thought, "When did I start using her given name?" Then in a rush of memories she recalled the entire series of events: from spending that Sunday with the Grangers and Harry, to the travesty of a trial. She looked again at the clock on her desk to verify the date, as she had when she'd woken a bit ago. And yes, it still said 1st June. "Oh Merlin," she thought, "Now it's happened to me too! Do I need to prevent what occurred before? How would I do that?"

As she sipped her tea, contemplating possible actions and consequences, a familiar phoenix flashed into existence, flew once around the office singing softly, then landed on the desk. "Hello Cuinn," she laughed softly, as she got an impression of amusement from the beautiful avian. "Ah, you have a message from Harry and Hermione, I take it?" Cuinn bobbed his head as he gave her the note. She thought he looked decidedly pleased. Opening the note, and chuckling at the delightful creature, she read:

Dear Professor McGonagall,

Please meet Harry and me at Kings Cross, platform 9¾ when the train arrives. It is quite literally a matter of life and death. Everything is fine on the train, so don't worry there, but we need your help when we arrive. We shall explain as best we can when we see you. Cuinn, the phoenix, has said he will transport you, so please allow him to. We are in London now, and should be in the station shortly.

Hoping to see you soon,

Hermione and Harry

She chuckled again, knowing Hermione couldn't know she 'remembered' the 'alternate reality' also. "Ready to go, Cuinn?" she asked as she rose stiffly to her feet. Cuinn launched himself from the desk to hover in front of her until she grabbed his tail feathers. For a few moments she felt as light as she had when a young girl, then there was a double flash and he set her gently on the platform at King's Cross to gasps of awe from the assembled crowd. She looked down the tracks as she heard the distant sound of the train's whistle, and said to him, "Good timing." Cuinn trilled a brief laugh, which made her smile broadly and give a low chuckle, as he settled on her shoulder.

She was coming to admire the snarky creature and his rather unorthodox manner. She'd known Fawkes quite well after her forty year association with Albus, but he had been much more decorous than Cuinn. She thought Fawkes had been a good offset to the Headmaster, just as this creature seemed an excellent foil to the oddly shy Harry. That thought also brought a smile, as she thought about the comments the young man made at the end of the 'trial'. Despite the stern demeanour she displayed for her students, she quite enjoyed those in her life with a highly developed sense of humour and/or irony. It was one of the things which allowed her to survive, sanity intact, with students such as the marauders and the Weasley twins. Even though she kept it to herself, when disciplining such troublemakers, she'd often laughed uproariously with Albus or other staff members over students' antics and pranks. For that matter, Albus had been nearly as bad as their students with his jokes. That thought, of course, brought a lump to her throat and a sting to her eyes. She ruthlessly pushed that away for now, as Molly Weasley approached, looking surprised at her appearance here, and amazed at the presence of the phoenix. Arthur was just behind, also looking at her oddly.

PPPPPPPPPPPPP

As Minerva was ruminating over the differences between two phoenixes, a pair of dentists were making their way into King's Cross, sneaking bemused looks at each other. They had arrived at the station nearly an hour early after a fun day in London. Having done a bit of shopping, they'd then had lunch at a restaurant which had been a favourite since their teenage days. It was, in fact, where they'd gone on their first date, during the last year of secondary school, and where he'd proposed a few years later. It still had the same quiet ambience and charm from those long ago times, so they went there perhaps once a year or so. It gave them back a small taste of those young love days.

It had been their intention to wander the grand old station for awhile before meeting Hermione, but Dorothy had fallen asleep shortly before they got to the car park and Keith hadn't wanted to wake her. The week prior had been rather stressful, what with their busy surgery and news of the death of the school's headmaster. Keith had felt a bit sleepy himself so set an alarm on his watch and joined his wife for a short kip.

When he awoke and shut off the alarm, he was at first disoriented because he had these strange, impossible memories. He checked his watch for the date to make sure he wasn't going round the twist.

Dorothy had awoken then, yawned and stretched, and said, sleepily, "I really slept didn't I. What time is it, love?"

"Er, it's quarter past five, we should go in now. I let you sleep, dear, and had a kip myself as well."

Now as they walked into the station Keith couldn't help recalling the strange memories he had of picking up Hermione and Harry two months ago, and yet they were just now arriving. It was disconcerting to say the least. He had a good idea what had happened, but that didn't make it any easier.

Dorothy was having the same difficulty as her husband, though she didn't realize that was the case. She remembered they'd taken Harry home with them two months ago, learned to love the enigmatic young man, and then it got a bit fuzzy. Finally she could stand it no longer as they neared the entrance to platform 9¾. She saw Vernon Dursley waiting angrily nearby, and saw Keith noticed the man also.

"Dear," she said tentatively, pulling him out of the path of people hurrying to and fro and stopping against one of the columns, "do you feel like you have some odd memories you shouldn't have?"

His look of surprise told her all she needed to know, but he said, "Yes, two months worth; you too?"

"Yes," she chuckled, "and now it is all starting to come back to me. This is the same thing the kids experienced before. Bit disconcerting, don't you think, love?"

"Bit, is a bit of an understatement," he laughed. "Okay, we can safely assume, I hope, that the kids remember also, so all we have to do is wait for them to come out and tell us what to do. We have the plans from, er, last night," he flushed, "so we only need to confirm with them." He was looking a bit sheepish over the 'last night' comment which hadn't really happened to the rest of the world, only to a select few he reckoned.

Dorothy laughed, "Yes, love, I'm having the same problem thinking in tenses of what has happened and what hasn't, what might and might not, and all that. Mind bending, to say the least, sort of like some of our dental school classes." Then she leaned in closer to murmur, "Or a mutual orgasm," and chuckled throatily.

Keith took a deep breath; she knew what mentioning that subject, in that voice, did to him. His eyes crossed for a moment, then he took another deep breath. He murmured back, sounding almost serious, "You had to do that here, where I can't retaliate didn't you?" but he smiled as he leaned over and pecked her on the lips.

Keith knew his best friend was teasing him and would make it up to him tonight, especially if the 'kids' came home with them as they fully expected them both to do. Hermione was a given, of course, but he was sure Harry would as well; at least he sorely hoped so. They would have to wait and see how the next few hours played out.

PPPPPPPPPPPPP

Chief Inspector Jamie McGonagall woke with a start. He sat up from his recliner where he'd uncharacteristically dozed off, and blinking the sleep from his eyes he realized, after looking at his watch, it was for about an hour. He had the very odd sensation of déjà vu, and of intrusive, improbable memories. He got up and walked to his den where he looked at his desk calendar, which confirmed it was still 1 June. "Merlin, am I going barmy already?" He thought. "I haven't even retired yet. Is this what I have to look forward to? Long, afternoon kips and wondering what day it is?"

"Bah," he said out loud. Then muttered, "Wait a minute, now I recall… Oh heavens, those damn fools are still alive and somehow I have to prevent… Sweet Merlin, how the devil...?" He started pacing the small den as Janet stuck her head in.

"What were you saying love? Were you talking to me, or just mumbling to yourself?" She smiled at her obviously agitated husband. "Calm down, Jamie, why don't we go and have tea, and you can tell me what's troubling you."

"Yes love, the tea sound good, actually. And, ah, okay I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to laugh at me, or have me committed over this story," he laughed, albeit shakily.

She smirked, "I couldn't do that, now love. Who'd keep my feet warm at night… and mow the yard, come to think on it."

As he followed her to the kitchen he laughed at his wife's little joke, but was still worried over her reaction to what he needed to tell her. Once tea and a plate of her homemade biscuits were on the table and both had their tea fixed, she looked softly at him.

"Jamie, is this about you retiring, love? I know it is not what you want, you're a young and vibrant man. But dear, we all have to come to that sooner or later. Think of all the things we can do, the travelling we've always wanted to do and couldn't seem to find time for." He was shaking his head, but she went on, "And don't forget all those half finished projects out in the back shed." She smirked on the last, knowing he'd never finish some of the carpentry fiascos he had in the shed thinking he'd set them to rights one day.

Finally he was able to get a word in, "No, Janet, it's not about that at all. I'm coming to grips with that, slowly, but getting there. No, I need to tell you a fanciful tale, that happened, but it didn't," he flushed then, something he hadn't done in years. "Janet, love, we both grew up in magical families, so we know there's much more to the world than is readily seen, agreed?"

"Yes love, but what's this about?" She was a patient woman, had to be to live with a cop for a husband, but this was edging on bizarre, and he'd not even started yet.

"Love, I have lived the next two months already, and now know some of the things which will happen. Not the small details, like horse races and such, just some of the broad strokes, especially the ones concerning Harry Potter."

She gasped, and looked pleadingly into his eyes asking for the nice young lad three streets over to be okay. Everyone in the area knew the Dursleys and hated how they treated the lad, but even Jamie had never been able to do anything about it.

He went on then and told her what he could recall, the Dursley's deaths, of spending an hour or so the next day with Harry, his new family, and Minerva, his retiring, the sham of a trial, all of it. And when he was done she just looked at him, mouth agape, their cold tea still in the cups.

PPPPPPPPPPPPP

Harry and Hermione had spent a very restless few minutes waiting for the others. When at last Ron and Luna came in followed immediately by Ginny and Neville, they were still sitting close together, though not holding hands this time.

Harry spoke first, after Luna pulled Ron away from his trunk and onto a seat; she apparently sussed something was going on and reacted accordingly. "Look, guys we only have a few minutes to explain some things. I'm afraid you are going to have to take a lot on faith, but we need all of us together, the same team who went to the Ministry a year ago, the same group who fought the Eaters a few days ago. It is critical we all work together. I know a lot of this is going to sound crazy, but please listen until we finish, okay?"

Everyone nodded, and he launched into a much abbreviated tale of what had transpired in, subjectively, the past four months to him and Hermione. She interjected a few comments from time to time, but largely let him tell it.

When he was done and everyone was looking at them sceptically, she said, "Look, I know we can't prove any of this right now, except for the phoenix, but that is all we can show you for the moment.

In his head, Harry said to Cuinn, "Showtime, my friend," and chuckled.

Cuinn responded, "Gotta see the phoenix do they, oh bother. Minerva is giving me a very nice scratching just now."

Harry laughed as, with a flash, Cuinn landed on his outstretched arm, also laughing. All four of the others in the compartment were dumbstruck. Harry introduced them, "Cuinn, my friend, I would like you to meet my best mates, Ron Weasley, and Neville Longbottom, and my very close friends Ginny Weasley, Ron's her brother, and Luna Lovegood, whose father owns and runs the Quibbler magazine. Everyone, this is my friend Cuinn." Still they sat there looking gobsmacked at the large avian. Cuinn trilled a low song at them and everyone relaxed, but yet they said nothing for a few more seconds.

Hermione took over now. "Look, I know of no other way to do this, and it needs to be out in the open. For all of us to work together, you need to know that in that period of time, which is four months for us, Harry and I fell in love. We've been together for quite a while actually, at least for us. I know this seems sudden to you, but I assure you it is not. Ginny, Ron, this might affect the two of you the most, but it needs not to be a secret between the lot of us."

Harry looked fondly at Ginny who looked hurt and angry for a moment, then her face cleared and she softly gave nearly the same answer as she had in the last alternate reality, "I'm glad it's you Hermione; and Harry, I'm happy for you. I think you've both made the right choice." With that she got up and sat on Harry's lap to kiss him gently, then drew Hermione into a hug as well. The two girls kissed each other on the cheek and smiled fondly.

Hermione asked, "Still best friends?"

"Always," Ginny replied. Then she smirked and said, "You won't get rid of me that easy, Granger, he is just a boy, after all. Now something really important…" She was interrupted by Harry tickling her, to which she gave a laugh bordering on a scream. "Stop, Harry," she laughed. When he quit, she looked stern for a moment and said, "Harry James Potter, that was not very nice!"

He grinned and said, "Yeah, payback's tough sometimes, isn't it?"

Smiling, she quipped, "Two can play that game, Potter. Watch your back."

"Oh, I'm watching it, but I prefer to watch Hermione's, if you must know." He winked at each girl, getting groans for his efforts.

After Ginny returned to her seat, Harry looked across at Ron, who had remained quiet. "Ron, you going to be okay with this?"

Ron looked perplexed for a minute, as if he still hadn't quite wrapped his mind around the whole thing. He finally got something in gear though, and said, "Yeah, I think it's brilliant, really." He turned to Luna and said, somewhat formally, "Luna, will you be my girlfriend and let me be your boyfriend?"

Harry was very surprised, but let this play out. Hermione took his hand and when he looked at her, she smiled softly and winked. As always, they both knew more or less what the other was thinking. He smiled and winked back, a promise of things to come later that night passing between them. Their eyes smouldered with love and passion for a few moments.

Meanwhile, Luna took Ron's hand and said softly, "About time you asked, Weasley. You've been flirting with me for weeks, and almost constantly for the past few hours." She smiled softly then and added, "I'd love to have a strong, tall, redheaded boyfriend." After he smiled, she added, "So long as you promise two things. One, you will need to listen to me when I tell you something. And two, you are going to have to improve your study habits, love. I cannot go out with someone who lets a fine mind rot in his head. Got it, boyfriend?"

Ron looked flummoxed again briefly as he wrapped his mind around a few more difficult concepts, then smiled and leant down to gently kiss her. She threw her arms around his neck, and pulled him into a full blown snog.

Neville looked embarrassed as he watched that scene play out. Ginny, on the other hand, watched the two for a moment, and then got up to move over to Neville's lap. He squeaked in surprise. "So, Longbottom, since I've been thrown over," she winked at Harry and Hermione, who smiled at her daring, "do you think you could stand to have a girlfriend with red hair and a temper to match?"

Neville was the latest to be assaulted by the gobsmacked bug today, twice now actually. The poor man sat there imitating a goldfish for a few moments, until Ginny took the initiative and just kissed him, ending his misery and making up his mind for him. It had worked with Harry, why not with his other best mate.

While Neville was getting his first tonsil swabbing, Ron did his best to ignore that, Luna having let him up for air. Making the best of things he asked, "Harry, what was that you said about your cousin?"

"Oh, well in the first alternate reality, he set me up for the murder of his parents and Marge. In the second I was at Hermione's and he was drunk and tried to do it anyway, but the gun exploded and killed all of them. So this time, I need to prevent him from doing anything. I think he may have been influenced by someone, or by magic somehow, or something like that. He's just not that way, really. A bully, yes, but not a killer; he doesn't really have that much courage."

The train had stopped and all were gathering their things now. Ron thought over what Harry had said, then asked, "But why would someone influence him like that. To me it makes no sense when they could just wait until you are alone and get you directly."

"Ron, think tactically. What's the best way to take me out if you can't get close enough to kill me yourself? Remember, I've had guards near me most of the time for the past two years; and it's not as if the Death Eaters can just go strolling around Little Whinging. No, something changed in Dudley after that Dementor attack, and I'm wagering it is somehow connected to Voldemort, at least indirectly."

Cuinn told him then he'd meet him on the platform, "With all these youngsters I'll be torn wing from drumstick if I stay in here." Harry chuckled softly at his Companion's comment, who then flashed away, while still listening to his redheaded friend go on about things.

"Could very well be," Ron mused, as he and Hermione levitated trunks out of the compartment. "When did you get so smart, Harry? I don't recall you ever putting things together like this before, at least not without being hit in the face with it." He grinned at his friend, to let him know he was having him on.

"Ron!" Hermione chastised, not seeing his grin. "Harry is very intelligent, and don't you ever…"

"It's okay, love," Harry cut her off, "he was just taking the Mickey." He smiled at how protective she had become, realizing they both had, for that matter.

"Sorry, Ron," she said smiling sheepishly at their friend, "it's just that I'm working on Harry to make him realize he really is as smart as I am, just in a different way."

"Alright, Hermione, I get the picture." To Harry he said, "When did she get so defensive of you anyway."

Harry laughed, "Probably after a few months in jail, I think." That got him some strange looks from others in the corridor. He ignored them and told Ron quietly, "We have a very close relationship now, and look out for one another. It has become almost instinctive."

Ron laughed, and said with chagrin in his tone, "I noticed. Remind me not to get on her bad side about you, mate."

Hermione huffed at him, good naturedly, while Harry smiled warmly at them both. The other three had remained mostly quiet, Neville with a sappy grin on his face, and Luna with her eyes sparkling. Harry wasn't sure why she looked that way, at least nothing seemed to be obvious, other than her relationship with Ron. He decided that must be it. Ginny was overseeing poor, confused Neville, so he got all his things and made sure Trevor was contained. Slowly they all made their way through the crowded passage and to the exit.

PPPPPPPPPPPPP

As the train whistle sounded again, closer this time, Molly asked, "Minerva, Headmistress I mean, what brings you here? No trouble I hope. And where did you get that lovely phoenix? Is it yours, just as the Headmaster had Fawkes?"

Minerva smiled at her friend of many years, "Molly, please, I'm still Minerva to my friends. As for my lovely friend here, this is Cuinn and he is Harry's Companion. Cuinn, these nice people are Molly and Arthur Weasley, friends of Harry and Hermione."

Cuinn bobbed his head and trilled a soft greeting while the Weasleys gaped, seeming confused by her answer. At that point Cuinn flew up from Minerva's shoulder and flashed away, which brought more gasps of surprise from Molly, Arthur, and a great many others on the platform.

Molly seemed shocked into speechlessness, an unusual state for her, so Arthur asked, "What do you mean, the phoenix is Harry's companion? When did this happen?"

Minerva smiled, hoping to distract them from her faux pas about Harry and Hermione, and told them, "I'm sorry, but there isn't really time for explanations just now. There is a situation developing with Harry's relatives, which he and I need to discuss briefly. What I need for you to do, to help us out, is to take your children home directly and give us the time and space needed to deal with it. I assure you, it is nothing you need be involved in, despite your feelings for Harry."

Arthur looked perplexed for a moment, then his face cleared and he sighed, "There's always something with that young man. Can't seem to catch a break can he? We'll do as you ask, Minerva. We would, naturally, like some explanations at some time, but it will keep for now. We'll let you get on with your business, as you ask. Yes, we care very much for Harry and worry about his well-being as much as our own children, but with you involved I have no worries. I, for one, am well aware of your feelings for the students, certain ones in particular." He gave a small smile and a wink.

The Headmistress thought that was just about the longest speech she'd ever heard from the man, and was impressed with his grasp of the circumstances. "Of course, Arthur, you shall have your explanations. I think most of us in the Order feel the same way about some things. We should have a meeting next week to reorganize, and I can bring everyone up to date then." She smiled, self-deprecatingly, "And even though one is not supposed to in my position, one cannot help having their favourites, those special students whom you care just that little bit more for, I'm afraid. As I recall, you two fell into that category."

Arthur nodded, smiling, and replied, "Thank you, Minerva, I guess I should have realized that." He looked amused at her saying they had been favourites. "I think I understand how you can't help having students who are special to you. We do so look forward to hearing more about Harry's latest exploits. Ah, here's the train now, we should go find the children."

He pulled Molly off with him, who hadn't said a word since her initial questions. It was if she'd gotten stuck on Cuinn's presence, link to Harry, and subsequent departure, and couldn't get past that. Minerva was concerned for the woman. She hadn't been herself since before Bill was attacked which didn't bode well for the Weasley's continued involvement in the Order. That was a worry for another time though, so she set it aside as the train pulled slowly to the platform and stopped. Students immediately began spilling out and finding their parents. She was only slightly surprised when Cuinn flashed back into existence, and settled on her shoulder once more. She was sure the avian had done so in self-defence so he, and Harry by association, weren't mobbed getting off the train.

She stood back, watching the happy reunions and keeping an eye out for the distinctive, untidy, black hair and bushy, brown curls of her two young friends. They soon appeared in the company of two redheads, a short, thin, blonde slip of a girl, and a tall, handsome, sandy haired boy. Minerva wasn't in the least surprised to see them in a group. She didn't think Harry could have picked a finer bunch of friends to help him on his quest. The problem would come in separating two of them from their overly protective mother. It then occurred to her that all of them had been present at the battle when Albus was killed. She shuddered to realize these young adults, none of them were really children anymore, had faced battle twice in less than a year, and survived.

PPPPPPPPPPPPP

Janet got up slowly to make fresh tea while Jamie sat wondering how in the devil he could prevent what he was almost sure was coming to the house three streets over. When the tea was done and Janet had poured them each a new cup, she asked, "Jamie dear, what do you intend to do about it? Is there any way you can stop the Dursley boy? I don't know why I believe you experienced this, but I do. As you were telling it to me, it was almost as if I too remembered. None of it surprised me, even though I don't precisely recall the events. I believe your, Miss Granger, was it?" At his nod she went on, "Miss Granger must be an extraordinary young woman to have sussed such a simple explanation for such a complicated affair."

"You have no idea, love. The two of them are so amazing one can almost feel the power coming off them. I do sincerely hope to come up with a way to prevent a reoccurrence of events. I was, in fact, just mulling that over. I can't go to a judge and say I need a warrant because I remember this from an 'alternate reality'. I think I'll go send Brutus off to Minerva. We have a bit of time to work on this." Quickly he went to his den and scribbled a note to his sister, hoping she wouldn't think he'd gone barmy on her.

He kissed Janet's hair on his way back through the kitchen, left her mulling things over, and walked hastily out to the big aviary where his long-time pal, Brutus, stayed. The large Tawny owl didn't get much chance to deliver post, but Jamie visited the friendly creature at least once a day, always with a few owl treats. Opening the doorway, he asked, "So, big fella, you up for a trip to Scotland? I assume that's where Min is, but I know you'll find her." The owl bobbed his head, seeming happy to have a delivery and crunched up the owl treat Jamie gave him, while the latter tied the note to his leg.

He chuckled as the owl gave him a nudge on the cheek after it flew up to his shoulder for a moment. He gave the required scratch behind the head to his friend, and said, "Go on with ye now, need that to get to Min as soon as ye can old friend." As the owl took flight, he thought how surprised Harry would be to know that a certain Snowy Owl came to this back garden often, and visited with Brutus. He'd have to remember to tell the young man that, next time they visited. Then his brain started hurting as he realized that technically he'd never met the lad, but he had memories of doing so tomorrow morning.

He sighed and went back in to his Janet, who often helped him solve odd puzzles in his work. Maybe she'd have an idea for this one, he chuckled again. It had come to him long ago that the love of his life should have been a cop too. She was a better investigator than many of those who worked under him.

PPPPPPPPPPPPP

The Grangers talked in low tones about what they had experienced in those two subjective months, as they waited somewhat impatiently for their children. Harry was one of theirs now, neither had any doubt. He was in their hearts to stay, regardless of what came. A ways off, they could see the seething mass that was Vernon Dursley, the crowds splitting automatically to go around him as if to unconsciously avoid his anger.

Keith commented, "I wonder how that man's managed to have not had a coronary or a stroke, with that kind of pent-up rage."

Dorothy looked pityingly at the red faced behemoth and sighed, "Yes, real piece of work, that one. Makes you wonder how Harry got to be so warm and giving, doesn't it?"

"Too right you are, love. I'm just glad he has Hermione and us now. Which begs the question: how the blazes are we going to help him prevent their deaths? I know he'll want to and we made contingency plans, but… Goodness, I hope Minerva 'remembers' too, but I just don't know what could happen if someone tries to interfere in the Dursley home."

PPPPPPPPPPPPP

All six of the group climbed off the train into the arms of Molly and Arthur Weasley. The redheaded woman, even though she'd seen her children hours before, grabbed each of them, even Neville whom she hardly knew, in her customary rib-cracking hug. She got Harry at least twice, and she would hardly let go of her own two long enough to embrace the others. Harry thought she was getting a bit on the barmy side of things. But then Ron and Ginny had said she had got even more possessive of all of them over the year, especially since the battle last week, with Bill having been injured. Ron had said she didn't want them to take the train home, but he'd talked her and his dad into it by reminding them he was a prefect.

Neville and Harry got trolleys for everyone's things, so it didn't take too long to get semi-organized. Harry managed to put off Molly and Arthur and work his way over to Minerva.

Not surprisingly, given her status and Cuinn's presence, the Headmistress was standing in a relatively clear area. As soon as Harry and Hermione pushed their trolley up to her, Minerva smiled and said, "I remember, do you?"

Harry felt his shoulders relax and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, hearing his lover do the same beside him. He took her hand as he parked the trolley off to the side. Smiling back at the woman, he replied, "Thank Merlin, Minerva, that makes things a whole lot easier."

Hermione asked, "All of it? You recall the whole two months?"

"Yes, dear girl, every detail, right down to Harry's nicknames for our esteemed Minister."

They all laughed softly at that, then Harry said, "Alright, what we need is for you to get to Jamie and see if there is some way to get a search warrant for the Dursley house and meet us there. I'm going to send Vernon off, as I did last time. Do you think I should tell him I'll meet him there with the Grangers, or surprise him by just showing up?"

"Harry, you know him better than any of us could, which do you think is best?" Minerva replied. "I can get to Jamie easily enough, it will of course help if he 'remembers' too, but we shouldn't count on it."

"You're right of course, on both." He turned to his love, "Hermione, any opinion?"

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Minerva, dear, this is your call. We don't even know the man, really, just by what you've told us. I know you want us to help you decide, but we just can't, love."

Harry laughed softly, "Yeah, I want someone else to make the decision, don't I? Okay, I'll think on it while we go meet your parents."

At that moment, Remus, Tonks, Moody, and Kingsley all walked up, looking rather surprised to see Minerva. Remus asked, "Everything alright Headmistress? We weren't expecting to see you here. And where'd the phoenix come from?"

"Yes, Remus, everything is just fine, so far as the school and most of the students are concerned. We do have a small problem with Harry's relatives," she was interrupted by snorts from all four of the new arrivals. She laughed, as did Harry and Hermione, "Anyway, you can back us up, but please don't interfere. Actually I'd really like you, Kingsley, and you, Tonks, if you both wouldn't mind, to accompany me to Little Whinging for a visit with my brother and then to Harry's relatives' home. Remus, Moody, would the two of you make sure there is adequate security here until everyone has left?"

They all nodded or voiced agreement, and she told them, "I'll explain it all to you as soon as I can, but for now we are in a bit of a hurry. Cuinn, can you take these two and me," she indicated Tonks and Kingsley, "to Jamie's back yard. You know where it is?"

The phoenix nodded and Harry said, "He told me to tell you, he knows everything, just some things better than others." The three of them 'in the know', all laughed at the typical wise-arse comment, while the others looked on confusedly. Harry explained, "Cuinn is my Companion, just as Fawkes was for Dumbledore. I promise explanations soon," he added to their even more perplexed looks.

The group split up then as each went about their tasks. Harry noted the Weasleys were gone by the time he and Hermione got to the barrier. They supposed the family had either Apparated home, or gone though to the station already. Having been delayed, the usual scrum at the barrier was nearly gone, so they didn't have to wait very long. As soon as they were through, they spotted Keith and Dorothy right off. They could also see Vernon standing in the same place as before, like a rock in a stream. Ignoring him for the moment, they approached 'their' parents, a bit nervously, all things considered.

Both dentists smiled broadly as soon as they noticed the pair approaching. As they closed the gap, just as Minerva had, Dorothy said, "We remember, do you?"

Again, Harry let out the breath he was holding, Hermione too he noticed, as he moved into his 'mum's' arms for a hug and his love into her dad's. "Thank Merlin, Mum, that you remember. I'm very, very glad we don't have to get to know each other all over again." He heard a sniffle from the woman, who was holding him as tightly as ever Hermione did.

Pulling back a bit, she looked at him smiling, her eyes tinged red, "Thank you for that, Son, I just love hearing you call me that. And with that she released him into the arms of her husband, switching places and grabbing her daughter.

Harry found himself wrapped in a bear hug rivalling the best of Molly Weasley. "Thanks, Dad," he said thickly, "I can't tell you both how good this feels to me."

Keith said hoarsely, "I know what you mean, Son. It feels very good to us too." Stepping back, he asked, "What's the plan, then? We go see Puce Face and then drive you to Surrey like we planned?"

Harry glanced over to see Vernon glaring beadily at him, but didn't acknowledge the man yet. As he and Hermione put an arm around each other, and the women wiped their eyes, he smiled self-consciously. "Yes, but I still don't know what to say to him. I'm going to send him off; no way I will ride with him when I can be with you, but I just don't know if I should antagonize him by saying we'll meet him there. I guess it doesn't matter, really, he's going to be livid when everyone shows up at the house anyway. Okay, let's go talk to the walking time bomb and get that over with, at least."

The four of them made their way the dozen or so yards to Mr. Angry, Harry noticing that Moody and Remus were on an intersecting course. He grinned at the two, both of whom grinned back, all of them knowing the pair scared the devil out of Vernon. As he approached his uncle, he could see that the bully was glaring at all of them, though not as menacingly at the adult wizards.

As Harry stopped a few feet from Vernon, the man spat, "So what is this, Boy, you got a freak sweetheart now?"

"As a matter of fact, Vernon, I do have a girlfriend." He squeezed Hermione's hand gently, getting an answering squeeze in return.

"So, big whoop, I'm leaving, get your things and let's go. I've waited long enough for your sorry backside in this crowd of weirdoes," he sneered.

"Vernon," Harry asked, sighing, "would it really be such a bother for you to be pleasant to my friends for once?"

"Not bloody likely, Boy," he hissed back. "Now, for the last time, I'm leaving. Come now, or find your own way back, you and your freaky friends."

Keith had heard enough. "Excuse me Mr. Dursley, we haven't met," he moved up to stand beside Harry, "but I am Keith Granger, and this young woman is my daughter, Hermione," he indicated her. "This lovely lady," he pulled Dorothy forward, "is my wife, Dorothy. You might be interested to know that both my wife and I are usually addressed as Dr. Granger," he smiled slyly at Puce Face, who blanched when his voice turned hard then. "And I don't appreciate you referring to any of us as freaks or weirdoes, especially not this fine young man." He patted Harry on the shoulder, leaving his hand there. "For your information, sir, had you ever taken the opportunity to actually get to know Harry, you'd know that his character is totally above reproach, which I can sadly say, is a lot more than can be said of you."

Vernon turned a lovely shade of rose, then mauve, then paled some as Kingsley and Moody moved closer. He squeaked out a mouse-like mumble, cleared his throat and said, rather nervously, "Pleasure to meet you, Dr. Granger. Now if it is alright with all of you, I'd like to take my nephew home so we aren't late for supper." Harry was impressed; Vernon had managed all that without sneering or sounding angry.

But Keith gave the answer, "I think not, Mr. Dursley. As a matter of fact, Harry is going to be staying with us, living with us, from now on. We shall meet you at your home in a while to retrieve the few belongings Harry says he has there, and then you shan't see him again; probably ever."

Vernon, turned several interesting shades of red again, but finally seemed to get himself under control. "Fine," he ground out. "Could have at least let me know and saved me a trip here, Boy."

Harry said honestly, "I am sorry, Uncle Vernon, and had I known, I would have let you know. Some things have happened recently and since I had no way of contacting you before we left the school, I couldn't tell you not to come here. We'll see you in about an hour, is that alright?" He really only wanted to calm the git down, maybe that would keep someone from receiving the one finger salute between here and Little Whinging; or even keep someone from getting killed, come to think on it. Vernon was an angry driver at best, but when already apoplectic over something he got even worse.

Vernon glared at Harry for a moment, said, "Fine," again, turned on his heel and stormed off, once more scattering tourists and locals alike with his obvious rage.

Harry looked at Keith, who quipped, "Such a fine gentleman, wonderfully gracious and well mannered."

PPPPPPPPPPPPP

As Jamie and Janet finally finished their tea, there was a soft pop in the back garden accompanied by what he now recognized as phoenix song. They both got quickly to their feet so as to greet their visitor, or rather, as they saw through the window, visitors. Minerva was leading Kingsley Shacklebolt and Auror Tonks toward the door as Jamie pulled it open to smile grimly at his sister. Cuinn was perched on her shoulder and his smile warmed at the sight of the lovely avian.

"Am I glad to see you, Sis," he stated without preamble.

She looked shocked for a moment, "Do you 'remember' Jamie?"

"I do, and I take it you also?"

"Yes. Well thank Merlin for that. It certainly simplifies things for us. We need to decide what to do quickly and then clue in these two, who have no idea what we are talking about." The two Aurors were looking decidedly flummoxed at the conversation so far.

Chuckling, Jamie quipped, "This should be interesting." Looking at the avian then, he inquired, "And how are you keeping, Cuinn my friend?" The Phoenix bobbed his head a few times and trilled a greeting. Jamie suddenly felt a surge of warm friendship and contentment. He smiled almost involuntarily, as did everyone else, while he led them all inside.

Introductions were made, during which he had to stifle a laugh as he realized he already knew Tonks though she didn't know him. Janet made more tea while the rest took seats around the kitchen table.

Minerva said, "Kingsley, Tonks, we'll fill you in shortly, I promise, but we have a strict time limit on a couple of things." Both nodded, still seeming confused, but in the magical world, things were often confusing and Aurors always adapted well; they had to. She asked, "Jamie, have you decided how to go about heading this off? We only have about an hour before Harry gets back here with the Grangers. Dursley won't be too far ahead of them."

"We were just talking about that. I told Janet the story," was his reply, while his wife smiled and shook her head in consternation, "but I hadn't yet gotten any clear idea of how to proceed. I'm not entirely sure I can get a Magistrate…"

"Isn't there a handgun involved, dear?" Janet interrupted.

Jamie smacked his palm to his forehead and grinned sheepishly at his wife and the others. "Of course! I can get a warrant based on that alone!" To Minerva he said, "See why I'm such a brilliant investigator, Sis? I have the better half of the brains at home to keep me in line."

Everyone laughed, though the two Aurors were still looking quite confused. Minerva hadn't exactly followed the line of reasoning either, just that Janet had solved the dilemma. Jamie said, "I'll go ring up a couple of people, and be right back. Min, why don't you start filling in the gaps for our flummoxed friends here?" He smiled at the pair, who grimaced back.

While Jamie was in his den on the phone, Minerva started telling a condensed version of what had occurred in the next two months, everyone going cross-eyed over the tenses of what had happened, but in this reality hadn't happened yet. It reminded Minerva of explaining the time turner to Hermione back in the girl's third year. By the time Jamie got back, smiling a bit grimly again, she had the Aurors at least partially briefed on why they were here. "What I think we need from you two," she finished up, "is to make sure there is no one about who can foul this up. We just don't know if Dudley is being influenced by someone or what happened to him."

"Naturally we also don't know why those two have repeated this time twice now," Minerva continued, "let alone why some others of us are doing so now and not, erm, others such as yourselves who were involved last time. Miss Granger came up with references to something like this when researching phoenixes at Hogwarts in the previous 'alternate reality'. She theorizes it has something to do with the combination of a great wizard, or potentially great one anyway, and the phoenix's influence causing a time distortion of sorts. That's as much as I understood of what she told me. Now you know why Remus refers to her as the smartest witch of her age." She laughed, "She may be the smartest since Rowena Ravenclaw, if you ask me. Jamie, I take it you have good news?"

"Yes, as Janet so aptly pointed out, all I had to do was mention the handgun and Harry having seen it, and it was done. Magistrate Brillstone hates guns and was more than happy to interrupt his Saturday card game for this. He was even more pleased when I mentioned long-term child abuse and drugs. Bob and Alyx are working the forms as we speak, and will fax it all over to him. He'll sign it and fax it back; then we're good to go. Bob and Alyx will meet us here when they get it." To the Aurors he added, "They are my top two investigators, and happened to be on duty this evening."

Tonks started talking slowly then, "Let me get this straight: The first time Harry was framed by Dudley and convicted of murder, winding up in Azkaban. The second time Harry went to the Grangers' and Dudley did the thing anyway, only all of them were killed, then the Minister, lovely man that he is, passed a law which he made retroactive and had Harry arrested for. Without Albus to sway them, the idiot Wizengamot convicted him and sent him to Azkaban again. In both instances he spent only one night and woke up back on the train. That about right, Minerva?"

"Yes, in a nutshell. What I'm most concerned about is how the Dursleys are going to take all this tonight."

Tonks went on, "I'm concerned as well, Minerva. I spent a lot of time watching over Harry the last two summers, and that family is one piece of work, I can tell you. I know they will blame all this on Harry, and knowing him he'll, well, not exactly believe them, but certainly take some of the blame for wrecking their lives. He's learned that lesson only too well from the walrus."

"I agree," Minerva added. "I've gotten to know Harry fairly well in the last 'alternate reality, Tonks, and I believe you have the right of it."

Kingsley rumbled a question, "Can we get a message to Harry? Have them meet us here also."

Minerva beamed at her long time Auror friend, immediately understanding his thinking. "Yes, of course we can. Cuinn, would you ask Harry to ask the Grangers to meet us here rather than at the Dursleys?" The phoenix bobbed his head once, then a few seconds later trilled an unmistakable laugh and bobbed his head again. She got an image in her mind of a smiling Harry who winked, which caused her to laugh also. "I take it that means Harry agrees?" Cuinn bobbed his head a few times and trilled a few notes again.

She then explained to the Aurors and Janet, who were once more looking confused, about how Harry was 'joined' with Cuinn as Dumbledore had been with Fawkes and could communicate directly. They all voiced their understanding, smiling at the phoenix.

Jamie said, still grinning, "Good thinking you two. Now we can coordinate our effort and protect Harry from those fools as much as possible."

Tonks commented, "Cuinn is rather different from Fawkes, isn't he, besides the colouring I mean? He seems more… I don't know…" she trailed off.

"Snarky would be the word you are looking for, I believe," Minerva laughed.

Cuinn squawked a small protest and preened his feathers as if to say, "I'm a very smart being and proud of it." No one missed his meaning and they all laughed.

Jamie said, "You know, Harry told me it is nearly impossible for most humans to be unhappy around a phoenix. I believe that to be quite true." Cuinn chirped and preened some more and everyone laughed again catching his meaning that this was, without a doubt, true. They all voiced agreement that it certainly seemed to be the case, then, at Janet's suggestion, moved into the lounge to be more comfortable while they waited. They talked for a few minutes about how to handle the Dursleys, but without Harry they knew it was unfruitful, and so put it off until he arrived.

Jamie asked, "Cuinn, are you keeping Harry up on what we are talking about here?" He bobbed his head and chirped once. "Good, then he will know what we need to talk about when they arrive."

The conversation moved on to other topics and after a bit Tonks asked, "Janet, how'd you feel when Jamie told you?"

"Like it was a story I'd heard before and forgotten," she replied sounding a bit bemused.

"Yeah," Tonks said, "me too. I don't exactly remember, but when someone mentions something it's like it reminds me. Kings', how about you?"

The older Auror seemed to think on it for a moment, then said, "I think I'd have to say the same. It is almost like a memory charm where you hear something you know you should recall, but can't."

Jamie smacked his forehead again, grinning sheepishly, "That explains why Harry felt so familiar to me the last time. He and I met when he was arrested the first time. The interesting part, is that I didn't feel anything negative toward him, almost as if I'd known in the first reality that he was set up but couldn't prove otherwise." He rubbed his chin, mulling that over. They continued discussing the phenomenon as they waited, Minerva and Jamie adding more details as they occurred to them.

A short while later, there was a tapping at the window and Jamie looked over to see Brutus looking grumpily at him. He abashedly opened the window and the owl flew in, cuffing him over the head as he did. He flew to Minerva, who laughed as she relieved him of the message. The owl then flew over to Janet, as if looking for sympathy, who gently stroked him, cooing soft nonsense words to him.

Jamie said, "I am so sorry, Brutus, I had no way of knowing Minerva was coming here. I really needed to speak with her, and hoped you'd be able to find her quickly." Brutus seemed to think that over for a minute, before bobbing his head once and glaring indignantly again, obviously not ready to give up his snit that easily. Cuinn chirped a greeting which the owl returned, then the two seemed to carry on a brief conversation, chattering back and forth, after which Brutus closed his eyes and enjoyed the stroking he was getting from Janet. Everyone laughed at the owl's antics and at Jamie's predicament with him. He just shrugged and let his wife comfort their friend, knowing he'd be forgiven eventually.

PPPPPPPPPPPPP

Harry was happily riding back to Little Whinging for the first time he could recall; and for several reasons. First he was with people who loved him, one especially. Second, it was the last time he had to come here unless he really wanted to, something he doubted. For another, more serious thing, they were likely to break the cycle with their actions this evening. Mostly though, it was because of the soft, warm, loving woman beside him. He and Hermione had snuggled as close as they could in the back of the Granger's Range Rover, considering seat belts and all. They held on to one another tightly the whole way, taking comfort from the intimate contact.

The conversation during the hour's drive had ranged over many topics, and Harry related what Cuinn was sending. They all agreed it was a good idea to meet there first and coordinate. None was looking forward to the confrontation with the Dursleys, knowing it would be anything but pleasant, but they were still as happy as was possible under the circumstances. Their little family was together, and that was what counted to all of them.

Now Harry was guiding Keith through the hamlet where he'd spent most of the past sixteen years of his life, to park in front of 44 Lily Lane, Jamie and Janet's home. Exiting the car and approaching the front of the house, Jamie opened the door to smile at them all.

"Welcome, everyone," the tall thin man said graciously. "Please come in and let's make sure we have all our ducks lined up, shall we?"

As they entered the house, Cuinn flew to Harry's shoulder, nuzzling his cheek and chirping a soft greeting. Harry pulled Hermione close and Cuinn nuzzled her as well, being rewarded with a soft smile and a chuckle.

When most were seated, with a few still standing, in the rather crowded lounge, Hermione had happily taken a seat on Harry's lap, they talked over how to get the most from their efforts. Jamie told the newcomers, "I've just spoken with my investigators and they are gong to meet us at Privet Drive. They were delayed a bit, but no bother. They know to stay outside until I give the word. They'll bring a team of uniformed officers to perform a thorough search of the premises." All could tell he'd put on his cop hat; he was all business now.

The lot of them quickly came to a consensus, so Harry and the Grangers went back out to their car, leaving Cuinn to visit more with Brutus and Janet. They waited until Minerva, Kingsley, Tonks and Jamie were in his car, and drove the few blocks to number 4 Privet Drive. Hermione could feel Harry tense up as they approached the house and knew she and her parents would probably spend all evening, and the next day, getting Harry back to some semblance of the happy man they all loved.

Keith parked and they all got out the car. Jamie parked behind, the four of them getting out as well. Minerva must have transfigured her robes into the rather stylish business suit she now wore, in a dark green, which complimented the normally severe looking witch nicely. It was obvious she moved in the Muggle world more often than Hermione had realized. The two Aurors had done something similar, and looked like ordinary Muggles, more or less.

Hermione and Harry walked to the door, holding hands, the others following behind. She could feel his tension increase even more as they approached, but he rang the bell and waited patiently for someone to open it. The two Aurors disappeared under Disillusionment charms as soon as they were out of sight of the street, and seemed to be heading off round the sides of house.

As they had expected, Vernon opened the door and glared at them. "So," he sneered, "brought an army of freaks with you, did you? What you afraid of, Boy, think we might do something to you while you get your few pitiful pieces of rubbish? I shoulda binned the whole lot before you got here." To Hermione it sounded like the man had had a few drinks already.

"Good evening, Uncle Vernon," Harry said politely, "may we come in?" The behemoth looked like he wanted to say "no", but stood back and let them all enter. They could see the other residents of the house coming to glare at them. Dudley looked quite angry.

When they were all inside standing in the entry, Harry, again politely, said, "Uncle, I think you remember my friend Dr. Keith Granger from the station," he indicated his 'dad' and Vernon nodded curtly. For those not at the station he added, "Keith is a dentist as is his wife, Dorothy." He indicated his 'mum'. "This lovely lady," he squeezed her hand as he nodded to her, "is Hermione Granger." Hermione could see Dudley almost drooling as he gazed at her (she felt like she needed a shower), while Harry continued the introductions. "I don't believe you've met my Headmistress, Professor Minerva McGonagall," he indicated her also, and then gestured to Jamie, turning to smirk at the man, who gave him a nod with a neutral expression, and a twinkle in his eye. "And finally I'd like to introduce the professor's brother, who lives nearby, Chief Inspector Jamie McGonagall, of the Surrey Police." That brought gasps from Petunia and Marge, a narrowing of Dudley's eyes, and Vernon lost most of the red in his face as well as all of his bluster, seeming to deflate considerably.

Harry then introduced the Dursleys to everyone with him, though it really wasn't necessary since they all knew who they were, if only from descriptions. He indicated each Dursley as he said, "My friends, I'd like you to meet, my Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon, my cousin Dudley, and Vernon's sister Marge Dursley." All four of them nodded more or less politely, though Dudley's eyes hardly seemed to leave Jamie. He did glance at Hermione a few times, but otherwise his attention was riveted on the Chief Inspector and he seemed to be sweating as well. Hermione thought things would get very interesting soon.

Harry said, remaining as polite as she'd ever heard him, "If you don't mind, I think Hermione and I will go up to get my things. Jamie, I believe you said you thought it best to accompany me?"

Jamie smiled, a feral one he thought, and replied, "Yes, and just to ensure no shenanigans can be pulled later, I'd suggest Mr. Dursley accompany us as well." Jamie smiled once again at Vernon, who looked ready to reply snidely, but then seemed to think better of it. Marge also looked ready to say something scathing, but a hand on her arm by Petunia and she kept her thoughts to herself.

The four of them trooped up the stairs, Vernon bringing up the rear, huffing noisily and breathing just as loudly when he made it to the top. Hermione wondered, as she followed Harry into his room, what kept the man from having a heart attack as poor shape as he seemed to be in. In the room, Harry quickly gathered up the few books he'd left and some clothing from the dilapidated bureau.

"Hermione, love," Harry asked, "could you transfigure this into a bag to carry these things in?"

She smiled, as he smirked over her shoulder at Vernon, then pulled out her wand and waved it over the old sweatshirt Harry held out to her. The ragged garment turned into a nice carry bag instantly, and he smiled his appreciation at her.

Vernon started to bellow, "I'll not have any of the unnaturalness in my…" then trailed off at a stern look from Jamie. He stood there huffing his anger and glaring at them all, obviously seething at her having done magic. She smiled sweetly at him, knowing it would just make him angrier. She didn't really want to antagonize the man, but his mere presence brought out her worst, most vindictive thoughts. She would gladly have transfigured him into the walrus he so closely resembled.

PPPPPPPPPPPPP

Meanwhile, downstairs, Minerva said, looking about, "You have a very lovely home, Mrs. Dursley. Did you do the decorating yourself?"

Petunia looked taken aback for a moment, then through clenched teeth ground out, "Yes, I did, as a matter of fact."

"Well, I'm not surprised, really, having known Lily as well as I did. She also had excellent taste in decorating, and was quite the artist as well. Did she ever give you any of her drawings?"

"No. I didn't see her much after she went off to that school. I don't recall she was much of an artist before that." The effort of saying that seemed to exhaust the woman, as if speaking of her long-dead sister was very painful even now.

"She was such a lovely girl in school," Minerva ruminated softly. "Always had a kind word for people, and such a wonderful student as well. She was especially gifted in certain areas of study; did you know?"

"No. We never spoke much of her 'school'. I didn't like her freakish ways." She looked like she should apologize for that comment but would rather bite her tongue off than do so. She was radiating anger, as was Marge. Dudley, on the other hand looked extremely nervous and was sweating profusely now, as if the house had gotten very warm. Minerva heard several more cars pull up on the street, and decided it was best to keep the people distracted from that if she could. It was difficult to keep the conversation light with all the charged emotions in the room, but she was doing her best.

Keith seemed to pick up on her thoughts in that direction and chimed in, "You know, our daughter, Hermione, has been in classes with Harry ever since they started. They're in the same house and all, so have most of their classes together. They've been very close friends since their first year, along with Ron Weasly, of course. I believe you met him a few years ago?"

Petunia nodded, but didn't speak. Marge was glancing out the side window by the door, so he asked her. "Ms. Dursley, I understand you raise dogs? Bulldogs, as I recall Harry telling us."

She nodded once, her chins quivering as she did. "Yes," she said as though it pained her to speak to them. Her attitude fairly shouted: respectable or not, they were friends of the Boy. Keith noted that in his mind for future reference. She went on though, warming to the topic a bit as she did, "I've raised dogs for many years, make rather a tidy profit from it most times. One of my neighbours, Colonel Fubster minds the dogs for me when I take these short trips. Always bring along my oldest, Ripper, who just pines for me when I'm away." At that point a slobbering old bulldog waddled down the hall from the kitchen, as if hearing his name had brought him forth. "Such a good friend he is, always follows me about; excellent company don'cha know."

Keith and Dorothy both nodded, and she took up the conversation, "Always nice to have a loving long-time pet like that. We had a dog for many years that passed on a couple of years after Hermione started at Hogwarts," she saw Petunia wince at the name and wondered what that was about. "The whole family was just devastated by his passing, but old Skippy was very old, nearly eighteen, I believe. Anyway, now Hermione has a cat named Crookshanks who's just a dear animal. We all love him." She noticed Ripper's ears perked up at the mention of a cat.

Minerva noted the change in Petunia's demeanour now also. The woman had suddenly become nearly as nervous as her son, who looked like he was about to wet himself. It clicked then; that Harry had told them the Dursley claimed he went to some school for criminals, and Marge did not know about the Wizarding World.

Marge seemed to get lost in thought for a moment, which gave Petunia the opportunity to say something. "Well, it is good to know Harry has some quality people to spend his time with," she seemed to be prattling nervously. "It will do him good, I'm sure, having a nice pretty girlfriend. And your daughter is lovely, Dr. Granger. Where is it you folks live? Nearby? I don't recall, hearing the name of your practice mentioned around this area."

"No," Keith chuckled, knowing the woman was heading off the old bag next to her from concentrating on the name of Harry's school, "we live in Crawley and have our practice there as well. It's a nice area, and we even have a few patients come all the way down from London. I think Hermione would likely have joined the practice in a few years if she hadn't been invited to Hogwarts instead of the school we planned for her. I suppose she could still go to University and dental school if she wanted, but in her time at Hogwarts, she seems to have developed an interest in government. So I believe she will likely go in that direction with her advanced studies." He grinned at Petunia, knowing he was smirking slightly. She'd cringed both times he mentioned Hogwarts.

Marge opened her mouth to say something, but just then the group from upstairs returned, and she was unable to get the thought out. Ripper growled at Harry, who ignored him

PPPPPPPPPPPPP

As Harry was finished gathering up his few things, leaving all of Dudley's old, too large clothes in the bureau, he led Hermione out of the room and down the stairs, Jamie following and Vernon thumping down in the rear. Harry smiled over his shoulder and winked at Jamie, who winked back. The Chief Inspector had gotten a good look at the upstairs while waiting, and Harry knew the man would know what to look for and where. Harry had managed to surreptitiously point out to him, the loose floorboard under the bed.

As they came down he could hear Keith speaking and thought he heard him say Hogwarts at least once. He smirked to himself sussing the man had probably done it on purpose to rile Petunia. When he got to the bottom of the stairs and Keith winked at him, he knew he was right. Keith and he seemed to be on the same wavelength much of the time, just as he was with Hermione. He'd noticed that with Dorothy as well. It was like they were all meant to be together and it had just taken some extraordinary circumstances to bring it about. He was glad, despite all the time in jail, that it had.

As everyone rejoined those waiting, Harry said, "Well, Aunt Petunia, I guess this is the last time we shall see each other for a while. Is there anything you want to tell me before I go?" Petunia now looked almost as nervous as Dudley, like she was hiding something, and not meeting his eyes. Harry had learned a lot of Occlumency and some Legilimency from Cuinn, so he tried to get her to look at him. He squeezed Hermione's hand then hoping she'd understand what he was doing. "Aunt Petunia, I know it has been hard on all of you having me here, and for that I truly apologize." She looked directly into his eyes for a long moment then, and he could see she was hiding something, before she looked away again. In a hard edged voice he asked, "Petunia, what are you hiding from me? Is there something you are supposed to tell me or give me? What is it?"

Her mouth opened in shock and she stared right at him again, while Vernon was blustering in the background. Harry ignored the blabbering twit as he concentrated on his aunt, getting a momentary flash of a box as he silently and without a wand cast the spell. It was enough. "Aunt Petunia, I demand you give me that box now!" his voice as cold as it had been the 'day before' in the courtroom. She looked totally gobsmacked and her mouth worked a few times.

Marge decided then to intervene. "What are you blathering on about, Boy?" she demanded.

Harry turned his diamond hard gaze on the bloated, bearded woman, and replied just as icily, "Stay out of this, Marge, it does not concern you." She looked about as gobsmacked as Petunia, her mouth working like a goldfish. Ripper growled again, but when Harry glowered his fiercest at the dog, it cowered back against Marge.

Vernon tried to assert his authority again, saying, "Boy, you have your crap, now get the bloody hell out of my house."

"No, Vernon, not until I get the things she has hidden from me." His voice brooked no argument, and as he turned his gaze back to Petunia, he saw her eyes flicker to the cupboard under the stairs. "So," he said in just as hard a tone, "it's been in there the whole time and you never told me that was mine?"

She gulped and said, "I'm s… sorry Harry, Vernon wouldn't let me…"

She was cut off by Vernon bellowing, "I WOULDN'T LET YOU? YOU SWORE YOU'D NEVER GIVE HIM THAT BLOODY TRASH!" Calming slightly at the sight of Jamie moving forward, he went on, "I knew I should have tossed that in the bin as soon as she left it here."

Harry glared at the two of them with all the anger, frustration, fear, and heartache he'd pent up for sixteen years, and they cowered away from him. "You had things my mother left here and never told me? Not even after I went off to Hogwarts? How stupid and mean can you possibly be? You two really suck, you know that? You have to be the most idiotic pair of alleged parents in the world."

With that he stomped over to the cupboard, and threw the door open, bouncing it off the wall and leaving a scar in the wallpaper. He turned to the group and declared, "Anyone want to see my bedroom for the first ten years I was here? I wasn't good enough to have a room, Dudley needed two of them, and of course the other had to be kept for guests," he glared a moment at Marge. "This was my bedroom, until my Hogwarts letters came and they moved me to Dudley's second bedroom in case anyone came to get me. Anyone wonder why I hate these slimy gits now?"

Keith, Dorothy, Minerva and Hermione all looked ready to pop with anger and Jamie had that feral gleam in his eye again, while the Dursley all looked sick. Vernon was mumbling something about having to keep a brat who never appreciated what they did for him, and other such tripe. No one of Harry's party was paying him any mind, as they all moved closer and took turns looking in where Harry was crawling under the stairs and retrieving an unlabeled and dusty box.

Harry could hear Keith growl, "Chief Inspector, do you have the forms I asked you for all filled out?"

He then heard the smile in Jamie's voice as he replied, "I surely do Dr. Granger." There was a ruffle of papers and then Jamie said, his voice turning cold, "I'd suggest you sign these sight unseen, Mr and Mrs Dursleys, they emancipate Harry as soon as they are counter-signed by him and a magistrate, who happens to be a friend of mine. That is, unless you want to be investigated for child abuse."

Harry pushed the box out in the hall, crawling out of the cupboard just in time to see Vernon and Petunia go very pale, and Marge swell up like a bullfrog about to croak. Jamie cut her off at the knees, saying, "Ms Dursley, I would strongly suggest you keep your thoughts to yourself unless you wish to spend the evening as a guest of the Surrey Police."

She deflated, and Vernon grabbed the papers. In no time he and Petunia had scrawled their signatures and handed them back to Jamie, who smiled. "That wasn't so hard now, was it, Mr. Dursley? I believe you've done a very good thing tonight, giving Harry the right to make his own choices. I, for one know him to be a very mature and honourable young man, who will make great contributions to society one day." Harry thought the man was overdoing it a bit, but he did seem to be enjoying himself, so didn't interrupt. "Furthermore, I see that Harry seems to have grown up that way independent of the environment he was raised in, which speaks very highly for his character and explains much of what I know of him. Well, since the lad seems to have gathered all his belongings, we should be going now, and let you good people get on with your dinner."

He turned to the group of visitors, and Harry noticed Keith and Minerva were smirking rather openly, and was sure he knew why. Jamie went on though, "Shall we away, my friends and let the Dursleys get on with things?" He smirked too and winked at them. Harry and Hermione both had to choke back laughs.

Minerva and Dorothy were first out the door, the former looking back at the Dursleys with the sternest death glare he'd ever seen from her, followed by Hermione, and Harry, she carrying the sack, and he the dusty box. The were unsurprised to see a number of cops waiting on either side of the garden path, including the two inspectors who'd arrested Harry on the first go round. He smiled and winked at them, which they returned happily. He got the impression they had heard some of the conversation and were going to enjoy what they had to do. The two of them followed the women to the car, and Dorothy opened the rear gate. They stowed Harry's things in the back and turned to watch the show, as Keith walked quickly toward them.

PPPPPPPPPPPPP

Jamie thought he might be enjoying this a little more than he should, but after seeing the cupboard Harry'd used for a room, and the signs that what the lad said was definitely true, he felt he had the right to. He and Keith got to the door last, as planned, blocking the Dursley's view of the front garden and he pulled the door behind him as if to close it as he left. As Keith hurried up the path, Jamie winked at Bob and Alyx, gesturing them forward. He turned in the doorway, just as Vernon moved up behind him, probably to slam and lock the door. He give the man his best cop glare and said, "Oh, I do believe I've changed my mind, Dursley. We have more business with you tonight, I'm afraid." He withdrew another bundle of papers from an inside pocket and slapped them against the man's chest. "These are warrants to search the premises for illegal firearms, illicit drugs, and evidence of child abuse. Please, all of you move into the lounge, now!" It was definitely not a request.

Vernon gaped like a fish out of water, as Jamie pushed him back toward the other three, and aimed him at the living room. As he did so, Bob, Alyx, and several uniformed officers entered quickly behind him. The last had a drug sniffing dog with her. Ripper immediately challenged the large male Labrador as it entered, with a growl and a snorting bark. The Lab growled deeply, woofed once, and stared beadily at the bulldog. Ripper shook his head, his bladder letting go immediately all over the hall floor. Then he just suddenly fell over. It seemed that his bowels let go also, because a foul stench started coming off the animal next. Marge screeched as she fell to her knees, while everyone else covered their lower faces because of the smell. Jamie asked one of the officers to open some windows and the back door. It looked like Ripper had harassed someone for the last time.

Petunia looked ready to faint as she woodenly followed Vernon into the living room. Dudley looked like he was about to bolt, though, and Jamie indicated to one of the officers to restrain the boy if necessary. The large officer stepped over to Dudley and asked him to stand back against the wall and not move, while all the others fanned out and began searching the house. Jamie directed Bob and Alyx to the downstairs loo, and was rewarded with a "Hah" of glee from her, as she opened the gym bag she found in there. Jamie knew it was all over then for the Dursleys. She came out with a World War Two vintage automatic which belonged in a museum, and a bag of what looked to be crystal meth and another of pot. He smiled grimly at her and glared at Dursley senior.

The man started blustering then and Jamie let him go on, while Marge remained on the hall floor keening over her dead dog. Vernon challenged, face as red as any Jamie had ever seen, "I'll have your badge for this, Chief Inspector," the man sneered, then went on nearly shouting. "You can't come in my home on the pretext of accompanying a juvenile delinquent like that Boy out there. I won't have it, do you hear me? You've drawn your last freeloading pay check off the hard earned taxes I pay, you scummy… cop…" he trailed off as he pulled an odd face. Jamie was almost certain what was happening to the man. He called another officer to assist him and quickly moved to the obese man, making him sit on the sofa. He was in a cold sweat, his face turning grey, and seemed to be gasping for breath.

Jamie turned to the officer and said, "Call for an ambulance. Looks like a cardiac episode. Do we have anyone here who is a trained Medic?"

"Yes sir, I'll get Thompson, and have the ambulance on the way momentarily," she barked back at him. Stepping out into the hall, she shouted, "Thompson; Living room, medical emergency." Then she got on the radio and called for an ambulance, telling dispatch it was urgent.

Jamie loosened the fat man's tie and shirt collar, checking his pulse at his carotid artery. He thought it was a good sign he hadn't lost consciousness yet, but his pulse felt odd. He was glad Thompson was on-scene, at least they had one well trained medical person. Most teams did these days when they had an operation like this, it often saved lives.

Thompson rushed into the room, with Johnson behind him, still talking on her radio. Jamie looked at Mrs. Dursley who seemed frozen in shock as she looked back and forth from her husband to him.

Suddenly her face turned into a mask of rage. "YOU DID THIS YOU HORRIBLE MAN," she screeched at him, "YOU AND THAT POTTER BRAT."

Jamie was prepared for that, as Johnson moved up alongside him. They often had this type of reaction when searching a house. What they were surprised by though, was that she let out a screech of rage and flew at Jamie, trying to hit and claw him. She only landed one feeble punch on his shoulder before Johnson had her somewhat subdued. He said, calmly, "Mrs. Dursley, you need to calm down, now. Your being upset isn't going to help your husband, or the situation."

She screamed once more, and with surprising strength shook off Johnson and launched herself at Jamie again. He took a couple of punches and a small scratch on the side of his neck, but was finally able to grab her hands, while Johnson grabbed her from behind. "Now, Mrs. Dursley, you are just going to have to calm down and stop attacking me," Jamie explained patiently, while puffing a bit from the exertion. The woman was strong and wiry in her over-excited state. "Let me get someone else in here to speak with you, how about that, ma'am?" She just glared and garbled gibberish at him. He wasn't entirely sure she had both oars in the water at present. "Johnson, would you keep Mrs. Dursley company for a bit, I'll send Inspector Philpot in shortly."

Johnson acknowledged the order and Jamie turned his attention to Thompson who had a medic bag open and was examining Dursley, listening to his heart with a stethoscope. When he looked up, Jamie asked, "How's he doing?"

"Can't tell for sure, doesn't sound too bad, but I hope the ambulance gets here soon."

"Right, let me know if I need to put a fire under someone's backside, then. I'll be back before he's transported." Jamie stepped out to the hall where Ms. Dursley was still crying over her dead dog, petting him and cleaning up after him. She didn't seem much more rational than her sister-in-law. This could turn into a very long night, he sighed.

Officer Byrne, the largish man he'd asked to keep tabs on the Dursley kid was glowering at the boy, as if he'd tried to move one too many muscles. The kid looked like he was about to wet his knickers. Jamie left them to it for the moment, trying to get a semblance of control over the whole situation.

He asked the young officer watching the door, who had replaced Johnson at that post, "Lad, do you know where Inspector Philpot's got to?" He was a rookie, Jamie knew, and likely this was the first time he'd been in the middle of anything like this.

"Yes, sir. She went back to the kitchen a short time ago. Should I go get her for you, sir?"

"No, you stay at your post, son, I'll go track her down." Jamie walked to the kitchen, finding Alyx and another officer going through the cabinets, as per procedure. The house would be searched top to bottom after they had found the first weapon. Frequently it was the case that someone who owned a firearm had more than one. They always checked, and, as often as not, found additional weapons.

"Alyx," he asked quietly, "could I ask you to go and mind Mrs. Dursley for a bit. She's a tad angry with me because her husband seems to be having a heart attack." He said this evenly, and dryly, not really intending to be funny. Alyx looked around at him from the cupboard she was examining, and grinned for a moment, then broke out laughing. The officer with her, Bigglesworth, snorted once then folded up laughing as well.

Jamie looked at the two with a jaundiced eye for a moment, before he too grinned and chuckled. When he regained control, he said, "Really, Alyx, I need you to try to talk to her. She wasn't quite rational when I left her with Johnson restraining her. And Mr. Dursley does appear to be having a heart attack.

"Is that where the scratch came from, Chief," she grinned, or did you get fresh with Johnson."

"Very funny, Inspector," he said archly, but grinned despite himself. "No, I'm afraid she attacked me twice, so I'm hoping you and Johnson can calm her down."

"Sure, Jamie, glad to give it a shot. I always thought you were a studly one though, who could handle his women better than that." With a smirk, she flounced down the hall while Jamie stood growling at the woman who was his likely replacement.

He smirked to himself as he followed her toward the front of the hall leaving Bigglesworth chuckling in the kitchen. In fact, she had replaced him in the previous reality, and he was sure she would this time. She'd find out how tough it could be putting up with the likes of her, as Chief Inspector. He chuckled as he passed Byrne who was still staring down Dudley and the kid looked like he might dirty his drawers as he caught the Chief Inspector's eye while the man was chuckling. Obviously the lad saw nothing at all funny about things at present. Then again, suspects seldom found cop humour funny.

Peering into the living room, he saw Alyx talking quietly with the still enraged woman, shook his head, and turned to find another enraged woman staring daggers at him. "Oh shite," he thought, "not again."

Marge Dursley had cleaned up from her precious Ripper's death discharges, and was cradling the deceased dog against her as she glared ominously at Jamie. "This is entirely your damn fault, you meddling copper. You couldn't leave well enough alone could you? Had to bring that delinquent Boy here and stir up trouble. Now look at my poor Ripper; never hurt a flea and he's dead because your police dog scared him to death."

Jamie thought fast, and came up with zip. What could you say to someone whose treasured pet had heart failure and died because it was old and overweight, like its owner? "Oh bloody hell, what can I do with this woman?" he thought.Finally, he said, "Ms Dursley, you are free to file a claim against the department for the loss of your pet, but that is the best I can do for you." He didn't say it in a mean way, but he was firm.

As he turned to head upstairs and see what had been found there, he heard movement behind him and eyes of the lad on the door suddenly went wide. Jamie spun back to find himself facing a small revolver. It was anyone's guess where the stupid woman had had the thing hidden.

"Think you can just dismiss me like that, do you, copper? Well maybe this will convince you." He raised his hands slowly, but saw her finger tighten on the trigger. As the hammer went back and snapped forward with a loud click, he dodged to the side, but nothing happened. The weapon had misfired. Moving faster than most would have thought a man his age capable of, he stepped in, snatched the gun upward with his left hand, and slammed the heel of his right hand into her forearm, hearing a satisfying snap. She was driven to her knees as the gun came free of her hand, and she cradled her arm against her, tears of pain welling in her eyes.

Looking up with the same anger still etched into her countenance she ground out, "That's police brutality, that is. Gotcha by the balls, copper, and I will have your badge!"

"Madam," he replied, rather calmly he thought, "You are under arrest for attempted murder of a police officer, for assaulting a police officer, for possession of a handgun, for carrying a concealed weapon, for use of a firearm in commission of a felony, and anything else I can find to charge you with. I hope your solicitor is a very good one, because you are going to spend the next several lifetimes in jail!"

She cowered then and started crying, and whining about how her arm hurt, and she was a lonely old spinster and nobody wanted her, and Jamie didn't listen to the rest. He stomped back to the kitchen and told Bigglesworth to come watch the barmy old dame until the ambulance arrived.

He stormed back to the front hall, and into the living room. "Mrs. Petunia Dursley, you are under arrest for assault on a police officer, for knowingly allowing a firearm on the premises, and for allowing illegal drugs in your residence. Johnson, place this subject in handcuffs and remove her from the premises." He knew he was reacting in anger, but he'd had enough of these barmy arseholes. He was going to make sure none of them ever again saw the light of day without razor wire and bars blocking the view.

He turned to Thompson and added insult to injury, so to speak, "Officer Thompson, you are to place Mr. Dursley under arrest for possession of a handgun, for allowing illegal drugs in his residence and for verbally assaulting a police officer. If we come up with any further charges they can be added later."

"Alyx," he said to the surprised inspector, "come with me please." Out in the hall he told the kid on the door to call for two more officers on his authority, and to have them here ASAP. He was done playing games and being nice. Turning to Alyx, he asked, quietly, "Do we have enough to hold the prince of pigs over there?" He gestured over his shoulder to Dudley.

She looked down at Marge, back in at the Dursley parents, then over at the quivering mass being guarded by Byrne and nodded. "Sure, boss, we got plenty on the kid. You sure you want all of them in jail?"

"Very sure, Alyx. I'll explain later, and then you can be there when Harry Potter gives his statement concerning the abuse he took from them. See that cupboard over there? That was the boy's bedroom for ten years, from age fifteen months until eleven. What do you think?"

"'Book 'em Dano', sounds too good to me," she grinned humourlessly. "I'll take care of porky over there; in fact, Byrne looks like he'd enjoy it. Byrne, has the dog finished yet?"

"No, still upstairs, Inspector."

"Officer Byrne, I want you to place young Mr. Dursley there under arrest for possession of a handgun, possession of illegal drugs, plotting to commit murder, and anything else you can think of while you are searching him."

Jamie looked hard at the former bully who'd made Harry's life hell growing up, and watched grimly as a large stain spread down the front of his trousers and a puddle formed at his feet. Disgustedly he said, "Byrne, cuff that bit of slime and get it out of my sight. Make sure you search him carefully. And don't forget your rubber gloves since he just pissed his pants."

"Right-o, Chief Inspector," the man grinned looking as though he really would enjoy the task at hand. He spun the kid around, pulled his arm up behind his back and ordered, "Spread your legs, boy, other hand behind your head." When Dudley didn't react fast enough he twisted the arm a bit more eliciting a pig-like squeal of pain. Jamie didn't want to see this, as Alyx stepped up to Byrne and handed him a pair of rubber gloves smirking at the zealous officer. Now Jamie really didn't want to be present, so he headed upstairs to see what they'd found.

At the top of the stairs he paused to rein in his anger, taking a few deep breaths. He heard the distant wail of the ambulance and decided they would likely need two of them, but would let the first team call for another for Ms Dursley. He looked out the front window above the stairs and saw a large crowd gathering. "Shite," he grumbled, "now I need crowd control." Just then Officer Gall, the dog handler, came out of one of the bedrooms, the spare if he was correct. "All done up here, Gall?"

"Yes sir. We found what looks like meth or something along that line and some pot under the floor in the small bedroom. Bosco alerted in the other bedroom there, but we didn't find anything. Must have been residue on the floor, I think. Need forensics here to gather evidence for that. I was just going to come find you, sir, and report that. He also alerted in the bathroom, with the same result, and we found a large stash of pot in the attic. Looks like someone was planning to have a party soon."

"Very good, Gall. Why don't you go through the downstairs now? I don't have a radio, so would you be so kind as to call for the forensics team and also tell dispatch I said we need a pair of officers for crowd control. Tell them I'll be able to release some units soon, but this is turning into…" He paused and shook his head. "Sorry, Gall, but you'll see when you get downstairs. Go on now, you and Bosco do your work."

"Yes sir." She looked like she wanted to say something in sympathy to him, but held her tongue as she went on down.

He shook his head, and grinned, knowing they were lucky to have such excellent and caring officers on the force here, and especially lucky to have so many on duty tonight. Just then, Bob came out of the master bedroom, shaking his head as well. He looked a little green about the gills.

"What did you find that has you so disturbed, Bobby, me boy?"

"Oh, I was searching the closets in there, found the box the weapon was stored in, we think. But we also found some things to indicate the Dursleys had, er, unusual tastes in the bedroom." At Jamie's raised eyebrow, he added, "You don't want to know, boss, that is just not an image you want of them two."

Jamie took that on faith and let it drop. Then he told his friend what had occurred downstairs in the past tem minutes, less actually. He thought the man's eyes would pop when he told him of the old fat bitch having the balls to pull a gun on the Chief Inspector.

"Cor Blimey, Jamie; I'd need to go home and change my shorts after that."

Jamie laughed grimly, "I might if one more thing goes pear shaped with this lot. I kinda lost my temper a bit, and they are all under arrest, including the Misses. After the fat witch pulled a gun on me, I arrested her, then stormed in and arrested the horse faced one as well. I was going to let it go, since her husband was so sick, but she got to me, not to mention what they've done to the kid for so many years."

"I hear ya, Jamie. I don't think anyone will blame you. If the investigation turns up much more, she'd wind up in prison for neglect and abuse anyway." He was eyeing the locks on the door of the small bedroom, and the two men shared a grim knowing look.

PPPPPPPPPPPPP

Harry, the Grangers, and Minerva were standing out next to the Granger's Range Rover as Jamie served the warrants and a bevy of cops entered the house. They heard some shouts, one woof, then not much for a while. Someone opened the windows and they got a slight whiff of doggie doo, then little happened for some time, other than the sound of someone crying. It sounded like Marge, which didn't make sense. Dorothy broke out a bag of crisps, some granola bars, and sugar free fizzy drinks for everyone to share. Harry could tell she was very upset by what she'd witnessed in the house. He hugged her and reminded her that she was 'his mum' now, and all that was in the past. That got her over the worst of her anger and she smiled at her 'son' lovingly.

After a few minutes they heard Vernon yell something, then moments later a woman shout, followed by the sound of running feet, silence, then Petunia screeched something unintelligible a couple of times, and more quiet muttering from within. They could see people moving about, then there was suddenly a lot of activity and they heard Jamie's unmistakable burr shouting orders, and what sounded like him placing a couple of people under arrest.

All in all, it wasn't very exciting, until the ambulance showed up. That was when they noticed a lot of the neighbours were out on the street watching, mostly from in front of Number 3. Harry chuckled, knowing the tables had been turned on his 'family'. They would soon be thought of as the scourge of the neighbourhood. He doubted anyone would ever change their opinion of him, but since he never intended to live here again, it didn't bother him in the least.

Then Mrs. Figg showed up. Harry saw her hurrying toward them in her usual tartan carpet slippers, with her string shopping bag swaying to and fro on her arm. He stepped away from the group noticing Minerva was flanking him. That Hermione was glued to his side was a given.

As she got close she queried, "Harry, is that you? Are you okay, lad?"

"Yes, Mrs. Figg, I'm fine. No worries, well at least not for me, anyhow," He smirked.

"Oh, I was so worried when I heard the ambulance headed this way and then saw all the police vehicles about. What's going on?" Then she noticed Minerva and added, "Minerva? What brings you here?"

Minerva said dryly, "We seem to be watching Jamie arrest all of the Dursleys at the moment."

Arabella looked confused briefly, then asked, "Why would he be doin' that, Min?"

"Ah, now that's a bit complicated, Ari, I think the whole story would take a while to tell, so why don't you wait for the next order meeting and you'll get the whole thing. For now, dear, let's just say that young Mr. Dursley had plans to kill his relatives and frame Harry for it. We came here to get Harry's things and learned of the plot, so Jamie stepped in and cut him off, so to speak."

"Okay…" the woman looked back and forth from Harry to Minerva a few times, then seemed to notice, belatedly, the lovely young woman glued to Harry and her eyebrows rose. "Harry dear, who is this lovely creature?"

Harry laughed as Hermione blushed slightly, "Mrs. Figg, I'd like to introduce my girlfriend and love of my life, Hermione Granger. Hermione, this wonderful lady is Arabella Figg who was my minder in my younger years."

The two women exchanged greetings, shaking hands. Then Harry called Keith and Dorothy over and introduced them as well. "Mrs. Figg, I'm going to be living with the Grangers from now on. I've been emancipated in the Muggle world," he said quietly, adding, "I'll be seventeen in a couple of months, so an adult in the Wizarding one. I have a lot to learn about being an adult, and I hope the Grangers will put up with me until I get my legs under me." He grinned at Dorothy and Keith, who smiled lovingly at him.

Dorothy said, "We think very highly of Harry, Mrs. Figg, so trust me when I say that having him with us will never be a problem. We look forward to it, in fact."

Arabella broke out in a grin, "That's all very good to hear, Harry. I know Albus had his reasons for keeping you here every summer, but since he is gone, I think it is right for you to move on and take more control of your life. And dears," she said to Keith and Dorothy, "please call me Ari, as all the others do. I expect we'll be seeing quite a lot of one another from time to time."

"Thank you, Ari," Keith replied, "and we are Keith and Dorothy. Harry has told us quite a lot about you and we both look forward to getting to know you as well."

"Why, that's very kind of you, Keith. I believe I'd enjoy that as well. Harry's such a dear boy, I know that any friends of his are good people."

Harry noticed his batty old friend was speaking more formally than normal, and chalked it up to meeting the Grangers. He blushed slightly at her comments, and even more when Keith replied, "Right you are, Ari, Harry's one of the finest people I know. Wouldn't allow anyone less to become so close to my daughter." He winked in an over the top manner.

Hermione huffed good naturedly, "Dad! That was uncalled for."

Just then a female officer led a furiously fuming Petunia from the house in handcuffs. She looked angry enough to chew off the cuffs, or a least a hand to get free. Harry was rather surprised, and wondered what she could have done to get herself arrested. He'd only expected Dudley, and perhaps Vernon, to go to jail. As the two passed she glared large daggers at him and spat, "This is all your fault, you worthless brat."

The officer told her forcefully, "Tch, I'd be quiet if I were you, Mrs. Dursley, whatever you say can be used as evidence you know."

"Well you are not me, you slut copper, and you have no right to be doing this to me…" She was cut off as she was pushed into a police van, none too gently, and squawked her protest, which was cut off by the doors slamming.

Harry looked at everyone else and shrugged his shoulders as they looked enquiringly at him. "No idea," he said, shrugging again and looking back at the house in amazement.

Just then another person was brought from the house by a large male officer. Dudley looked to have shrunk several inches alongside the big man. He also had a stain down the front of his pants. Harry wondered… it sure looked like he had… as they drew nearer there was the strong odour of sweat and urine coming off the other teen, which confirmed Harry's suspicion. Dudley, for all his bullying over the years, had pissed his pants when confronted with real trouble. Harry was smiling hugely as the brute looked up and glared, though not as forcefully as had his mother.

Dudley croaked angrily, but sounding more like he was whinging, "You'll get yours for this, Potter, I know you and your freak friends set us up for this. You had to think you got the last laugh didn't you. I'll get you if it's the last thing I do." The officer with him didn't bother admonishing, just opened the door of a van and shoved him in roughly. It looked like the man enjoyed it.

Harry turned to his friends and said, "Well, that's two, wonder what's with the ambulance." At that moment they heard what sounded like another ambulance coming their way, and everyone turned in that direction. Sure enough, blue lights flashing, and headlights blinking an ambulance rolled down the street, stopping behind the first. A man and a woman climbed out, got the gurney from the back, and hurried up the walk. Harry looked again to his friends in disbelief. "I can't imagine…" he trailed off.

Keith chuckled and said, "I'd venture a guess that either Mr. Dursley had a heart attack and fell on someone, or Ms. Dursley did the same, or one had a heart attack and the other attacked someone, or some combination of those events."

Harry and everyone chuckled, although nervously, at the idea of either of the behemoths falling on someone. He really hoped none of the officers were injured, and that it was both the older Dursleys.

The first medical team in, came back out then, carefully hoisting the gurney off the front stoop, and moving it quickly to the street, assisted by an officer. They could all see Vernon, with lots of things strapped to him, looking grey and barely conscious. He was aware enough to glare at Harry though, but when he tried to gesture at him, the handcuff on his arm stopped him from doing so. He looked very angry, then, as he gave Harry the finger and croaked something unintelligible.

Hermione said, "Well, looks like you were at least partially right, Dad." She didn't know how to feel. It was her nature to feel badly for anyone who was sick, but knowing how those creatures had treated her Harry, it was difficult to do. She looked at her lover, who gave her a small smile and a gentle kiss.

He whispered, as he held her, "It's okay, love, I'm not sure how to feel either."

"Do you know me that well already, love?" Then she snorted, as she answered her own question. "Listen to me; already indeed. You've been my best friend for six years, for Merlin's sake." She smiled broadly and kissed him back, a much longer and deeper one this time.

They were pulled back to earth by a hand on each of their shoulders and Mum's voice, saying softly, "You might want to see this." They looked up to see Dorothy smiling lovingly at them, and nod her head at the house.

The second medical team was wheeling another person out, who was almost a large as the last, and she was putting up a considerable fuss. "Don't know why you have to put that thing on my wrist, the way they got me strapped to this thing, I couldn't get off if my life depended on it. You swine have arrested the wrong people this time, I'll tell you, and you watch where you put your hands, young man." The young ambulance medic snatched his hand away from her like he'd been burnt, or didn't want to be touching her. From the look on his face Hermione thought the latter most likely. The old bat went on with her rant as if uninterrupted. "You filthy coppers should be arresting that brat that caused all o' this, not good, decent, honest, hard working people who only want to make a life for themselves. And don't you try to tell me that Chief Inspector of yours is blameless, HE KILLED MY RIPPER, THE SCUM AND I WILL HAVE HIS BADGE. Arrest me! I'll have all o' you hooligans off the force for this outrage…" she trailed off for a moment as they got to the street and she noticed Harry and the rest. "So, you sodding little perverted scum of worthless reprobates, you've managed to turn your own worthless delinquencies about on my poor little nephy-poo, Dudley, and frame him have you? You won't get away with this, POTTER, MARK MY WORDS BOY! YOU'LL PAY…OUCH, you heathen spawn of the devil. My arms broke here. You be damn careful or I'll sue the whole lot of ya." Her further ranting was muffled as they loaded her in the ambulance, then cut off as the doors were closed.

Harry looked at Hermione and shrugged, still holding her tightly. She was still worried. He seemed very stiff in her arms and she was afraid it would take days to get the words of hate out of his mind. Suddenly he snickered, coughed, and snickered again. He pecked her on the lips, and then broke out in gales of laughter, while everyone else looked at him in varying shades of worry. But the laughter finally got to Hermione, who understood at last. She giggled a bit first, then chuckled, then she and Harry were holding each other up laughing, as tears ran down their faces. Eventually the whole lot of them were laughing, save Arabella who didn't get the joke at all.

Finally Ari could take no more of this and demanded, "What is so damn funny, you lot?"

Harry let go of Hermione and hugged his old minder, whispering, "We'll have to wait to explain the whole thing, but basically we just saved all their lives and they, typically I might say, just blamed me for it. It's the most ironic end to the twisted path we've all been on that could ever be."

She stepped back, pulling a face for a moment. "I can't wait to hear that story, Harry dear. It has to be a winner, that's all I can say."

Minerva wiped her eyes, finally having herself under control and asked, "we're going to plan on Tuesday evening, Ari, how's that sound? At headquarters alright with you, Harry?"

Harry nodded, thinking "I haven't been back there since he died. I guess it's about time, since I do own the thing."

Hermione saw the brief scowl cross Harry's face, and knew what he was thinking, she squeezed his waist with the arm still around him. He looked up to smile sadly at her, and she kissed his forehead. Verbal communication was unneeded for this exchange. She caught the soft smiles of the others and knew they all understood as well.

Harry said, "That's fine, Minerva. I think Hermione, as well as Keith and Dorothy, should be there too. Everything that the Order does now affects all of us. Directly or indirectly, everything to do with Voldemort now affects this family, and we need to be kept fully informed. I will not accept arguments otherwise from anyone, including Molly Weasley and Alistor Moody. If enough of them disagree I will ban them from that house and start my own order with the rest."

Minerva smiled fondly at him, and said, "You have my vote, Harry, with what I've witnessed recently, and with what I now know, you are the only one who can lead the Order. End of story, as far as I'm concerned."

Harry was shocked for a moment. Then he smiled back at her, although not fully confident. "I suppose you are right, although I hadn't planned on leading them. But I have to cut my teeth on being the Leader of the Light at some point; so what better group to start with?"

Behind him, Jamie said, "Good attitude, Lad. That kind of thinking will carry you far."

Harry turned, with Hermione, to see the poor man looking haggard and tired. Minerva asked, "Jamie, what the devil went on in there? You wound up arresting all of them?"

The man grinned, and said, "Yeah, we did. Seems Mrs. Dursley has a bit of a temper and attacked me twice after fatso, er, Mr. Dursley had a heart attack. To make matters worse, Ms. Dursley pulled out a handgun from God knows where, and tried to shoot me; misfired, thank goodness. I broke her arm taking it away from her." He grinned again, making it clear that it wasn't entirely accidental. "So, we are going to be here for hours now, cleaning round from this cock-up and finishing our initial investigation. Harry, Ms. Dursley's dog, er, croaked during the excitement, what should we do with it."

Harry was lost on that one. He looked to Hermione and her parents, with eyebrows raised. "Any suggestions anyone?"

Dorothy muttered, "I have several, but they are totally inappropriate." Everyone snickered softly, imagining what she was thinking.

Finally, Keith said, "Harry, what do you think she'd want done with it?"

He thought for a moment. "She was very attached to the foul thing, so I suppose she'd want it buried at her home. Jamie, could someone in your office contact a Colonel Fubster in Marlow? He lives near her, just off, erm, Lower Lancer Lane."

"Surely, lad, we can do that. You shouldn't have to deal with these things if you can avoid it. We'll put it on her tab," he quipped with a feral grin.

Harry wasn't sure if he was serious or not, but chuckled anyway. "Maybe the Colonel would be willing to come down and get it, or it could be sent up to him express or something."

"Not to worry, Harry me boy," the man's burr came out more strongly when he was being friendly, Harry noticed, "we'll be more'n glad to take care of it fer ye. She won't like the bill she gets, but with what she's charged with that'll be the least of her worries." Harry gulped, realizing he didn't know what all those charges were against everyone, and not entirely sure he wanted to. Jamie went on though, "Look all of you, I'm going to need statements on several things from Harry this week. Monday is not good; I'm gonna be knee deep to a tall giraffe in paperwork all day as it is. Would it be possible for you to come up on Tuesday, Harry? And could one of ye make sure he gets here alright?"

Dorothy spoke up, "I can bring him up then, Jamie, not a problem. I've taken a few days off to be with the kids anyways. What time do you want us here, or wherever it is we have to go?"

"Ah, the station's over in Greater Whinging, so why don't you ring me sometime Monday for directions." He handed her a card, and Keith pulled one of his out of his wallet, quickly scribbling their home phone number on it. He also handed the Chief Inspector the emancipation paperwork Harry had signed when they came outside. Jamie, grinned at the paperwork and at Harry as he stuck it in his jacket pocket.

They all wished the Chief Inspector a good night and a hope for him to get home soon. He got a pained expression at that. "Me Janet's gonna have me hide for bein' late on a Saturday night, but can't be helped," then he grinned. "Only a month more though, best take what I can get 'fore they gimme the boot."

Arabella spoke up then, "How's that, Jamie, boy. Yer not thinkin' o' retirin' aire ye?"

"Yeah, Ari, they sent me 'the letter' yesterday. 'Suggested' I might want to retire. I think Janet's looking forward to it, but me, I just don't know…" He looked a bit sad for a moment, then brightened up some. "Anyroad, it's gettin' on supper time, so I'd best let ye folks get on ye'r way. Have a safe drive home, now." With that he hugged Minerva and Ari, shook everyone else's hands and ambled back in the direction of the house, looking to be lost in thought.

Tonks and Kingsley came up then and he told Minerva, "We didn't see a bleeding thing of anyone about. We also ran some checks for recent magical signatures in the area, and got zip. I don't think there's been a magical person round here since Harry left last year, to be honest." Tonks nodded her agreement with all the man said.

"That is interesting, Kingsley," the Headmistress replied. "Why don't you two head off then. Tonks, are you going to go to the Grangers?"

"Yes'm," she replied. "I'm supposed to meet Remus back at headquarters, then we'll go there." She smirked, "Doesn't look like anyone's needed here now."

Harry told Tonks they would see her and Remus at the house later, and for them to get dinner before they came. She smiled at his thoughtfulness, before the two Aurors bid everyone a good evening and disappeared into the gathering twilight. In a moment they heard the two soft pops of Disapparition.

The rest all piled into the Range Rover, first driving Arabella home, and then heading toward Crawley. Minerva agreed to join them for dinner, and they stopped at a Pizza Hut in Greater Whinging, one which was just off the motorway. Minerva had never had pizza before and allowed that it was quite good. Everyone else enjoyed it as well, so there was not much left of the two large pies by the time all were sated.

Out in the car park, Minerva asked, "Harry, Hermione, could I come and visit with you tomorrow, like we did last time? I think we need to go over some things and make a few plans."

Hermione answered as Harry squeezed her hand, "That would be fine, Minerva, if it's okay with Mum and Dad, of course." She looked to her parents.

"Just fine with us," Dorothy replied. "Would you like to come for breakfast again, or would lunch be better for you?"

"Lunch, I think, would likely suit us all better, dear." Minerva answered. What say I come around eleven or so and we can talk a bit before lunch. I assume you normally eat a bit later on Sunday like the last time?"

"Yes," Dorothy said. "That would be lovely, Minerva; we shall see you then. Why don't you see if Jamie and Janet would like to come as well? We'd really like to get to know them better."

"Good idea," she replied thoughtfully. "I'll send them an owl as soon as I get back to Hogwarts." She got hugged by all of them, even Harry, which surprised both him and her. He thought he saw a tear in the corner of her eye as she looked carefully around to make sure no one was watching, then Disapparated.

The rest climbed in the car, rather tiredly, and talked all the way home, looking forward to a good night's sleep. Hermione and Harry were looking forward to some other things as well.

To be continued, the author winked slyly

A/N: The term ASAP is an acronym for As Soon As Possible, for those who don't know. Also, crystal meth is a form of the illegal drug methamphetamine, which is highly addictive. My thanks once again to my Betas Kinsfire and The Unknown Beta, and now Tommy my wonderful Brit picker/beta. Without you folks this would not be nearly as good.