Title: No Advanced Warning

Author: Darkstarspanky aka Carter

Summary: SG-1 gate to a planet with Ancient technology. With this technology, they get themselves into a rather...interesting situation.

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Anything that happened previous to "Heroes I & II"

Disclaimer: Not mine...yadda, yadda, yadda...I only own the SG-1 DVDs and a shipload of tapes...

Author's Note: Thanks to CapriceAnn Hedican-Kocur, Sci Fi Fan Gillian, blackiebrens, and Typically Head-Over-Heels for their reviews! I think for now I'll keep it in Sam's POV, unless everyone wants me to do some of Jack's as well. Coincidentally I was planning on giving them their powers in this chapter...now that I've given it away, I think I'll just start the chapter now...

Sam's POV

After Jack and I left the infirmary, or more accurately, I dragged him out, I decided I'd leave him to take a shower. I met up with him again fifteen minutes later. Then I got this weird feeling. I brushed it off, maybe it was something I ate. Wait a minute, did I even eat this morning? Uh...

"Oh! I have a great idea for another prank!" I said as I pulled him to the side.

"What?"

"Well, we can get Janet to tell Daniel she's pregnant...it would freak him out. Completely. Maybe she could even tell him that she doesn't think the child is his?"

"Good idea on the pregnant thing. But I'm not too sure about telling him the kid isn't his."

"Yeah, you're right. I may be mad at him, but that would just kill him if he thought Janet was cheating on him. Then I'd feel bad."

"Yeah...but let's go talk to Janet, shall we?"

We made our way back to the infirmary. I might as well move my stuff in there. I've practically taken up residence in that place. On our way, we ran into Daniel, who was covered in some very colorful globs of Jell-O. A very, ahem, strange conversation ensued,

"Hey, do you guys know anything about this colored Jell-O in my locker?"

We both looked at each other, fighting the laughter that was bubbling to the surface.

"Uh...no? I have no idea what you're talking about." I said

"Neither do I. Just go get someone to clean it up."

"Y—you don't understand! All my important papers, translations, everything was in there! It's all ruined!"

"I'm sorry, Daniel. Maybe you had some copies lying around somewhere?" I asked him, knowing that there were some. In a place he wouldn't dare venture into: Jack's office.

"No! I didn't! All that hard work! Months of translations, pictures of artifacts, everything! Gone!"

"Oh, Daniel, stop being so melodramatic. It'll be fine." I said

"Yeah, I'm sure if you have a cup of coffee everything will be fine!"Jack said

"Coffee!" as he said this, he was visibly drooling.

With that said, he walked off. It sucks for him now since all the coffee is decaf. The poor guy is going to be insane by the end of the day. Darn. Well, I guess we should continue our trek to Janet's office.

"Well...let's go."

"Yes, let us go." Jack said, not hiding his childish grin.

When we arrived at the infirmary, we were in for a big surprise.

"Oh, fu--"

"Carter! I would have expected that from myself...but not you. Potty mouth."

"Hello, Major Carter, Colonel O'Neill. So nice to see you again."

"You! Get out of here!"

"I'm here to inform you--"

I mock gasped, "No! Are you here to tell us that due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off?"

They all stared at me blankly. Well, except Jack. He thought it was funny.

"What? It's a valid question."

"No. I'm here to inform you that the NID--"

"You know, I'm getting really sick of those guys. They always want something from us. It's always Beta 'gate this, steal technology that, testing on aliens...don't you people ever take a break?!" Jack asked

"No, they don't take a break. What I mean is--"

"I know they don't take a break. What do you want?" Jack said

"Will you people let me talk?!"

"No. Well, yes. But that's the only sentence you get to finish." I told him, knowing full well that was an empty vow.

By now you're all probably wondering who this man is. Well, let's just say he's a very annoying and biased Senator. Know who it is yet? All right, I'll tell you. His name is Robert Kinsey. Shocker, isn't it? Yeah, I didn't think so.

"With no due respect, what the hell do you want from us?"

"You forgot the 'sir' part at the end." I whispered to Jack

"And your point is?"

"I don't really have one."

"You'll need to come with us."

When the hell did guards get here? I never noticed them before. We're screwed.

"I don't think so." Jack and I said in unison

But the guards came to grab us anyway. Well, they went to grab Jack. The sonofabitch came to grab me himself. Why was everyone just standing there? Janet and all the staff were just standing there.

I was pissed off. I threw out my hands to stop him when something amazing happened. A bright white-blue light shot out of my hands and stopped him dead in his tracks. He collapsed on the floor.

I stared at my hands in awe and horror. There is no possible way I won't get in trouble for this. I couldn't take it anymore. I started to fall, when I felt someone's arms around me, preventing me from hitting the floor. Then everything went black.

Ow...my head hurts so bad. I woke up on a bed in the infirmary. Surprise. I didn't open my eyes, but I could sense Jack and Janet standing beside my bed. They were talking in hushed voices. Probably thought I was still sleeping. Yeah, right. With this headache, who could sleep?

I opened my eyes to the bright infirmary lights, and steeled myself to keep them open. Their backs were facing me. I tried to open my mouth to speak, but I couldn't. Brilliant. I have a headache that would rival an eight point five earthquake, and now I can't even speak. God must really have it in for me.

I tried getting their attention, but I guess they were too oblivious to my efforts. It figures. I couldn't think of anything else to do, so I reached out my hand and slapped Jack on the butt. Needless to say, he was surprised. Well, at least it got them to turn around.

"Hey, Carter. Welcome back to the land of the conscious."

You've used that before. It's still not funny.

"Sam, how are you feeling?"

Like I've just been run over by a dump truck. Or hit by a Goa'uld mothership. How do you think I'm feeling?!

"That was one hell of a light show you put on earlier." Jack said

Yes, but I was too busy being distracted by the energy being emitted by my hands to notice it.

"Sam? What's wrong?"

I can't speak! That's what's wrong! I motioned for the clipboard and pen in Janet's hand. I think she figured out I wanted her pen and some paper. She went to get it for me. Jack was just standing there with an intense look on his face. I think he's genuinely worried about me.

I reached out to grab his hand, trying to tell him everything would be fine. I don't know why the hell I thought that, considering I'm in pain like you wouldn't believe and my vocal chords seemed to have failed me. But it got him to calm down a bit. Wahoo.

Janet came back with the paper. The first thing I wrote on it was,

'What the hell is going on?!'

"Well, after that...incident with Senator Kinsey, you passed out. You've been out for the last two days. We weren't sure you were going to wake up."

'Lovely, really. Am I getting court-martialed? 'Cause if I am, I might as well finish the deed.'

"Carter...as much as I know you want to, and as much as I want you to, you can't. But you know that."

'Why the hell can't I talk?!'

"We think it's because your body is in shock. That outburst took a lot from you."

'Oh, great. So how long am I in for?'

"You can go back to your quarters for some rest tomorrow, we'd like to keep an eye on you tonight. Though there isn't really much we can do for you here. Because of that, you can leave now if you'd like. Afterwards, if you have any problems though, make sure you come back and see me. That's a doctor's order."

'Okay. Don't worry about me. What happened to Kinsey?'

I can honestly say I'm getting tired of writing. I better get my voice back soon.

"Oh, he was unconscious for a few hours, but he's fine."

"Yeah, but he's pretty pissed right now."

'Excuse me if I don't feel bad about that.'

"I don't either."

'Ha. Alright, can I go now?'

"Of course. Just let me take out this IV and unplug you, and you'll be ready to go."

'Thank God. I just need some Extra-Extra Strength Tylenol and I'll be good to sleep.'

"Carter, I don't think they make Extra-Extra Strength Tylenol. Just one extra."

'Why the hell not?'

"Okay, we're done here. Colonel, if you'll stay here for a minute? I need you to do something for me." Janet said as I got off the bed.

I left the infirmary, desperately hoping I had some Tylenol in my quarters. Unfortunately on my way there, I met up with that pissed off Senator. I thought he left?

"Major."

I looked at him. I didn't like the look in his eye. What's going on?!

"Let's see how well you heal."

Uh...what? I didn't see the knife he pulled out of his jacket. Next thing I knew, I was on the floor with him looking down at me. Holy...I've never felt such pain before. He pulled the knife out of me, looking me over. I had closed my eyes, hoping he would think I was dead. Apparently it worked because he hurried in the opposite direction.

I opened one eye just enough to be sure he was gone. Why aren't I healing? The only thing running through my mind was 'I have to get help. Someone help me, damn it!'

Thank God Jack's quarters weren't too far from here. The door was unlocked and I stumbled in. He looked up at me in surprise, not noticing my blood covered hands. I found it hard to breathe, and it was coming in shallow, gasping breaths.

'Help' was the last thing I thought before my world went black for the second time that day.

It wasn't long before I awoke again, in the infirmary with people rushing around me. The pain was considerably lessened, but it was still there. They weren't stitching me up. Why weren't they stitching me up? I'm going to die right here and now. I knew I should have gone to confession before I went on that damn mission.

By this time they had all just stopped and were staring at me. It's been happening for days, but I still can't get used to it.

She just had to let me out of here a day early, didn't she? If she hadn't, I'd still be here, sans the stab wound.

I couldn't help but think, 'What the hell is going on?'

Right after that, Jack turned around and stared at me.

"What did you say?"

'What the hell is he talking about? I can't speak!'

"Stop that."

'Uh...what?'

"Carter..."

'Uh...holy mother of...he can hear me! Jack can hear me!'

"Of course I can hear you! You're practically screaming at me!"

'Telepathy? Oh...'

"Uh...Doc? Doc! Get over here!"

"What is it? Has she healed herself?"

They both stared at me. Duh. Of course I haven't healed myself.

"She's sending me messages."

"What?"

'Telepathy!'

"She says it's...telepathy."

"That's why Aiyana couldn't speak! She could only communicate with her kind through telepathy!"

'I already knew that.'

"She says she already knew that."

'I also figured out why I'm not healing.'

"She says she also knows why she isn't healing."

Janet was still staring. Enough already. Speak! Well, at least I can control what he hears...that would be so embarrassing if he heard some of the things I think about him.

"I can still hear you, you know." He was smiling

'Damn you.'

"That would be 'Damn you, Sir'."

All right, I guess I need to work on blocking him out.

"You said she told you she knows why she isn't healing?"

"Oh! Yeah. Why aren't you healing, Carter?"

'Lack of energy. You know what happened to Aiyana when she tried healing all of us.'

"Don't remind me. I was in hell for weeks because of that."

'Ahem, anyway. I can be healed if another Ancient helps.'

"Sorry, we're fresh out of those."

'I meant you, dumbass.'

"Don't forget the 'Sir' part. And what? Me?"

'Yes. Put your hand over my wound.'

The poor guy looked so startled by all of this. Janet was just standing there, looking between the two of us. So I grabbed his hand and put it on my stomach. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. I couldn't help but smile at that.

Janet was now watching us with interest. She probably thought I was trying to seduce him. Yeah, right. Well, at least not in a public place.

"What are you doing, Carter?"

'Just keep your hand there, concentrate on healing me, but be relaxed.'

"You aren't asking much, are you?"

I sighed, 'Just do it. Unless you want me to die...then you can never take me fishing. It'd be a real shame.'

That got him going. It's weird that I can be witty while I'm in excruciating pain, with a deep stab wound to my stomach.

'Just think about healing the wound, close your eyes, and it should just happen. If it doesn't, then I die and the world is screwed.'

"Trying to concentrate here, Carter. And those thoughts aren't helping any."

'Go for it. Heal me, baby.'

Now is not the time to be saying that. Or in my case, thinking that. Good thing it didn't distract him. It took less than one minute for him to heal me. I guess the fact that I had the ability helped out a little.

"Thanks."

"What?"

"Holy crap! I can speak again!"

"W—what? How?"

"Uh...I have no idea. Hi, Janet."

"Good to see you back to normal. We all thought we'd lost you when you collapsed again. I'll go tell the General you're awake and healed."

"It seems you've gotten your powers as well."

"Well I don't know about the cool electricity thing, but I can heal."

"Do you think we've still got the telepathy?"

"Let's try it."

'Can you hear me now?'

'Ha ha. Very funny, Carter.'

"Well, at least now you can do it, too."

"Lucky me."

'I meant to ask you earlier...what was with the slap on my ass?'

'Uh...nothing?'

'Sure it was. I know you think I'm deadly sexy, but you can't do that in public. What if someone saw?'

'When did I ever say that I thought you were deadly sexy?! You haven't been reading my mind have you?!'

'Actually, I was just making an inference. But now that you've confirmed it...'

'I hate you.'

'No you don't.'

'I slapped your ass because that was the only thing I could think of at the time.'

Janet came back just as Jack was about to send me a return message. Saved by the doctor.

"The General is glad to hear you're okay, he wants to know who did this to you."

"Don't we all?"

"I think you can take a wild guess as to who it was. By the way, where are Daniel and Teal'c?"

I was slightly hurt that they hadn't come to see me.

"I sent them out a little while ago. Once we had gotten you stable enough. I only let the colonel stay because I thought he might have been some help."

"You can let them in, if they're allowed to be here."

She told one of the nurses to get both of them. So they did come to see me. Now I don't feel so hurt. They do care about me.

"Hey, Sam. How are you feeling?" Daniel asked

"I still have that headache, but I don't have a gaping hole in my stomach."

"Major Carter, is there anything we may do for your comfort?"

Teal'c was always the sweet guy. Though not many people knew that.

"No, Teal'c, I'm fine. Though if you have any pain killers, that would be great."

"Sam, I can give you something to dull the pain through your IV if you want."

"Back to that thing again? I just got it taken out earlier today. But sure, just a little bit."

"So, who stabbed you?"

"Kinsey."

"I'll kill him! I will kill that man!" Jack said, anger filling his voice

"I don't think he's going to bother us anymore. He thinks I'm dead. He stabbed me to see my special healing powers. It didn't happen, I pretended to be dead, and he took the knife and ran."

"He'll be back. You know he won't think you're dead."

Daniel was right. We all knew how ruthless that man was. But we also knew he wasn't stupid. He may have left me to die, but I'm sure he knew I wasn't actually dead. Life sucks. Don't take that the wrong way, I don't want to die. I just want Kinsey to die.

"We can do nothing to prevent this. He cannot be charged for this crime."

Teal'c learned something about the justice system of this country. That man has immunity. He probably has half of the important people bribed. Maybe more. Damn him.

"You're right. At least we know it isn't Maybourne this time." Jack said

"If it were, I would have more reasons to dismember him."

Oh, yeah. I remember that day. I think Teal'c scared the crap out of him.

"Isn't this enough of a reason for you to dismember Kinsey?" Jack asked

"No. But it is enough of a reason for Major Carter to dismember him."

"If only I could do that without getting arrested and put on trial."

"Indeed."

Janet had injected the painkillers into the IV a few moments before, and I was getting sleepy. She came back to tell everyone to clear out and let me rest. I asked if Jack could stay for a minute. She of course let him stay.

"What'd you need?"

"I just wanted to thank you."

"You already thanked me. Once is enough. I mean, I don't know how many times you've saved my ass and I didn't say anything."

"Hmm...but I'm used to that. Though it would be nice..."

"Fine. Thank you for all the times you've saved my ass, Carter. Happy now?"

I laughed, "Very. Now get out. I need to sleep."

I reached out to take his hand. I just held it for a moment.

"I know I just said get out...but seriously, I would have died without you."

I knew we had seriously breached protocol a lot these past few days, but we were teenagers. Who cares?

"I know...that's why I did it. It wouldn't be the same around here if you were gone. Dead or otherwise."

I couldn't help but laugh. I knew I was making him uncomfortable. But what's life without doing that to him once in a while?

"Well...'night, Carter."

"Goodnight, Sir."

There's that word again. It ruins everything. But I guess it reminds us of what we have to do. For now, that's all we can have. But we can still flirt, right?

Yeah, we'll be okay. I would really like to be in my own body though. I think it would help a bit. I wonder what tomorrow holds?

A/N: Okay, that's chapter seven! I know it was a little too serious to be under the genre "humor" but...it had to happen that way. They got their powers! I wonder what'll happen next? I have a few ideas, but nothing definite. Please review and let me know what you think! I'll try and post on Friday, but it'll depend on my ortho. Damn braces. Right then...

Later,

Darkstarspanky aka Carter