Previous Chapter

"Don't you quit on me you hear?" Dean demanded as he caught Sam's hands before they threw off the blankets again. Sam's breathing was coming in short, hard, wheezing pants as the cravings twisted and merged in his body. Dean held on tight to his cold hands in fear that Sam would hurt himself. If Sam could see him through his trials, there was no way in hell Dean was letting him do this alone.

Chapter 7

A voice was working its way through the fog of Sam's mind as he tried to concentrate on the location. He knew that voice and knew he had to find its source, 'cause there he would be safe and comforted. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't seem to fight his way out of the waves of emotions and pain invading his thoughts.

Dean knew hallucinations would be starting, if they hadn't already. He wished he could keep Sam out for the length of the withdrawal, but knew that could be more harmful than good. Cas had come several times to check on him and brought a bowl of soup standing over him until he ate it. Dean had to admit, he did feel better after eating the soup.

The room had changed, Sam was not in the bunker anymore as he opened his eyes to look around. His eyes widened in fright as he realized where he was, he was back in the cage with Lucifer. He crab walked backwards until his back hit resistance.

"Well if it isn't my old roommate." Lucifer crooned stepping out of the shadows. "Did you come back to play?"

"No, this isn't real." Sam begged shaking his head no.

"Awe, come on Sam, we had such a good time, I'm sure you haven't forgotten the fun we had." Lucifer laughed as he strolled toward him.

"No! Please! I can't!" Sam moaned trying to curl into himself and make his body as small as possible.

With all of Sam's fighting the blankets and striking out at unknown monsters, Dean decided it would be easier to just lay down with him and hold him still. He had Sam pulled into his chest, with his head resting in the nap of his neck while talking soothingly into his ear.

"Sammy, I don't know where you are, but ya've gotta believe me when I tell you it's not real. You're safe bro, you did it, you cured me. You know ya've beat this before, several times, you can do it again." Dean assured him holding his body still as Sam tried to pull away for a few moments before burying his head into Dean's neck and sobbed. Dean did his best to soothe his baby brother wondering what torture he was reliving.

"Please, no more pain." Sam sobbed helplessly. He could feel each injury rip through his body doubling him over in pain. In the back of his mind he felt strong arms holding him, calm words trying to comfort him and a so familiar hand carding through his hair. He used all his energy to try to open his eyes, he knew if he could just see who it was, it would be better; he could win this inner battle he was fighting.

Sam's body felt so cold, even though he was still sweating. Dean had three blankets and a comforter pulled up over them and was sweating about much as Sam, but he didn't throw them off. He knew he had to keep Sam warm and if it meant sweating some himself, he would. He shifted as Sam tried to move even closer to him. He fisted Dean's shirt tightly in his hands like he did when they were young and Sam sought him out for comfort. Ever the big brother, Dean always made sure Sam was cared for and protected. No one hurt his baby brother and got away with it, but it was times like this where the solution wasn't black and white that made him feel useless. How could he fight something he couldn't even see.

Sam's breath hitched against Dean's neck as his sobbing slowed and he drifted off to sleep. Dean felt the change in Sam's body as it relaxed into him. He continued to rub small circles up and down Sam's back, encouraged that he finally seemed to be sleeping. He felt Cas standing in the doorway checking on them and glanced his way.

"Sam doing better?" Cas spoke quietly so as not to wake him.

"Finally sleeping." Dean answered softly.

"I will check on you two in the morning, good night Dean."

"Ok."

Dean felt his eyes lids growing heavy as Sam whimpered into his shirt. He tried to move his arm that had gone to sleep and found he couldn't. He winced in pain as he slipped Sam's head to the pillow and turned carefully to his side. Sam sensed the movement and wiggled closer into his back seeking the warmth of his brother.

"It's ok, I need to pee, I'll be right back." Dean told him pulling the cover up to Sam's chin.

Dean slipped out of bed and went across the hall to the bathroom. He sighed with relief as he emptied his bladder and stretched the kinks out of his back. Dean splashed water on his face and used a hand towel to dry it before looking at his reflection in the mirror. Noise from the bedroom drew his attention and he headed back that way.

"Sam?" Dean questioned finding an empty rumpled bed. He quickly walked around the bed and found Sam laying in the floor his foot still cuffed to the bed. "Sammy!"

"No...don't hurt me...no more." Sam begged still delirious from the withdrawals.

"It's me Sammy, I won't hurt you." Dean coaxed as he got him back into the bed.

"Dee, have to save him." Sam mumbled as his eyes fluttered shut.

"You did little brother, you did." Dean whispered to him. He started to get up when Sam grabbed his arm in a vise like grip.

"Don't leave me." he pleaded in desperation.

"Alright, think you can drink a little water?" he asked taking a water bottle and holding his head so he could sip some. Sam grabbed at the bottle trying to gulp more. "Whoa, not so fast, don't wanna make yourself sick."

Sam let his head fall back on the pillow as he let the cool water wet his dry throat. The pain had subsided some, but was trying to build back up and start again. It began in the pit of his stomach and worked upward causing his body to spasm and twitch.

"How could you do this to yourself son?" Bobby asked.

Sam looked up and saw Bobby standing by the bed looking down at him.

"I had to." he cried.

"Such a disappointment, I thought I taught you better."

"It was for Dean." he whispered.

Dean tried to make out what he was saying and looking in the direction Sam was looking.

"Sam, who you talking to?"

"Bobby." Sam mumbled sadly as he tried to curl up in a ball.

"No Sammy, it wasn't real, you're hallucinating."

"Are you real?" he asked looking up at him.

"Of course I'm real. Here, feel me." he replied taking Sam's hand in his. "Try to rest."

"It hurts."

"I know, but I think the worse is over. I'll be right here." Dean assured him as he got on the bed beside Sam and let him snuggle into his side. He made himself comfortable and began to card a hand through Sam's hair. That simple action seemed to calm Sam down enough to let him fitfully doze.

Cas came in the next morning with coffee to find both brothers asleep. Dean was still partly sitting up in bed and Sam was glued to his side. Dean shifted his position and moaned as he popped his neck before looking up at Cas.

"Coffee." Dean grunted as he pushed up in the bed to accept the cup. Sam groaned and feebly reached for the warm body that had shifted from his reach. "Hey little bro, think you can handle some coffee?"

"Can't move." he whined pulling at his leg.

"Hold on." Dean said reaching down to un-cuff his ankle. "Better?"

"Thanks." Sam sighed shifting his body so he could sit up.

"How you feeling?" Dean asked him giving him a once over.

"Washed out, tired, weak." Sam replied taking the offered cup in a shaky hand. Luckily, Cas had only filled his cup three-fourths full and it didn't spill. He steadied the cup with both hands and sipped the coffee.

"Think you can handle a shower?" Dean asked him.

"Maybe." he answered smelling the sweaty tee he was wearing and wrinkling his nose. He did smell disgusting, but that wasn't all that was on his mind. He began to calculate how to get alone and to the stash he had hidden in the bunker. If he had just a sip, it would take the edge off and he could taper himself off the blood.

"I'll change the sheets and Cas can get you something to eat." Dean continued watching him carefully, knowing there was more going on with Sam than he was saying. He knew his little brother and how he thought. "I'll get you some clean clothes and get you to the bathroom."

"Thanks." Sam said sitting up on the side of the bed waiting for the room to stop spinning and his stomach to stop rolling. He bit back the bile that was rising in his throat, trying to keep himself from throwing up. He slowly stood on wobbly legs as Dean hovered beside him.

"You ok there?"

"Yeah, just need to get my legs working." Sam responded as he took a step toward the door. Seeing he was able to move on his own accord, he slowly continued to the bathroom. Dean flipped on the light and heat as he stepped to the entry.

"I'll go get you some clean clothes." he told Sam pulling the door partly closed.

"Thanks." Sam said as he leaned against the sink for a moment gathering his strength. He could feel the craving gnawing in his gut, wanting to be satisfied. Could he resist the pull? Could he break the hold it had on him? Was he strong enough?

"Here's your clothes." Dean said pushing the door open enough to hand in his clothes. "Do you need me to stay with you?"

"No, I'll be ok."

"Alright, I'll check on you in a bit." he told him giving him a quick once over to be sure he seemed steady.

Sam waited a few minutes before going to the door and listening. He cracked it open and peeked out looking quickly down the hall for Dean or Cas. With no one in site, he slipped out the door and using the wall for support made his way down the hallway toward one of the storage rooms that was not really used.

He opened the door and looked behind him before entering the room. He flipped the lights and dim rays broke the darkness, but didn't reach all the corners of the room. Shadows loomed around him as he made his way to a shelf in the back and the box he had hidden there. He moved items around, frowning when what he was looking for wasn't there. Panic coursed through his body as he looked on another shelf, pushing things out-of-the-way. He knocked boxes off the shelf frantically searching for his stash.

"Looking for something?" a familiar voice asked from the doorway of the room.

"What, no...I-I- was...there..." Sam stuttered trying to gain control of his emotions.

"Sammy, did you not think I wouldn't have Cas find it and get rid of it?" Dean asked crossing his arms across his chest. He wasn't angry with his brother, he knew how hard it was to break an addiction. "Come on, you still need that shower." he said softly to his brother waiting on him to react.

Sam stood surrounded by the mess he had made trying to keep his body from shaking and showing how much he needed the blood. He looked into his brother's eyes and saw concern and caring, but no pity or anger or disappointment. He let his shoulders slump and head hang as he walked toward his brother.

Dean saw the defeat on Sam's face and in his body language. Ever the big brother, he put an arm around Sam's shoulders and guided him back toward the bathroom. Sam needed his support and help to kick this and that was what he was going to get. He wasn't letting him go through this alone.

"Come on bro, a shower will help and maybe some food, you can't give up now, you're almost there."

"I know, it's so hard..." he started barely whispering loud enough for Dean to hear.

"Together, you don't have to do this on your own. I'm right here for ya." Dean answered opening the bathroom door so Sam could go in. "I'll be out here waiting for you."

Sam nodded slightly before entering the room, letting Dean close the door behind him. He blinked back the tears as he turned on the water, waiting for it to heat up. As steam began to fill the room, Sam stripped of his smelly clothes and stepped under the hot spray. He stood there and let it beat on his head feeling tension and stress drip from his body and wash down the drain.


Sorry it took so long, hope you enjoy. Thanks to all for the wonderful support. Please review.

NC