A/N: Sorry about the wait! Now that school's started back I have more homework and less time. Here's a new chapter, and thanks for all the reviews/alerts/favourites!

January 3rd 2011

Georgetown

How Abby had convinced her to do this, she didn't know.

Ziva stood in her apartment, in front of her full-length mirror, bootleg jeans and a pretty top hugging her figure in a not-too-revealing way.

She admired the Goth for waiting at least 24 hours before deciding to plan a celebration of her and Tony's return, but was still reluctant to go out to a bar on a Saturday night.

She still hadn't told the team she was pregnant.

Tony was still the only one who knew, and even Tony wasn't completely enlightened on the subject. He didn't know that Jeanne was Ray's wife, now ex-wife.

That wasn't the only thing she hadn't told him either.

…

Tony, McGee, Abby and Ziva all met at the bar, smartly attired and at the agreed time. Gibbs, they knew, wasn't much of a weekend man, and they were sure there were other things he would probably rather do. Not only that, but it was far easier to have a proper conversation when he wasn't around, they would all admit that.

"Just one question, Abby," McGee asked as they all took a seat at the bar, Tony on the right, Ziva next to him, McGee to her left and Abby on the outside. "Why did we all have to dress nice? We have to dress like this for work; it would be nice to wear a T-shirt on my time off."

"Timmy, we are celebrating Tony and Ziva!" she told him sternly. "This is not about you. We didn't think they were alive, or that the only time we would ever see them again was in Autopsy, maybe."

"I know, I know," Tim backed off. "Let's have a drink."

"Uh-uh, Probie, I'm buying," Tony said, pulling out his wallet.

Tony ordered two regular beers and a light for McGee, knowing Ziva wouldn't be drinking while she was pregnant. She rarely drank anyway.

"Aren't you going to get one for Ziva?" McGee asked when three drinks appeared on the counter.

"I'm not drinking tonight, McGee," she said quickly. "Just…don't want to be hung over in the morning."

McGee eyed them suspiciously, wondering how Tony could have known that and why Ziva wasn't drinking, but he seemed to drop it when he took a sip of his beer.

"So, Tony," McGee said. "I heard neither of you said anything in your counselling sessions."

"Well, I didn't have that much to say about it," Tony replied casually. "All they guy did was lock me in a room for about eighteen hours. Ziva had it worse, she was hurt."

"So you knew you'd get out of it?" Abby asked.

"We were sceptical at first," Ziva explained. "Things looked bleak, to be honest."

"Then came the brilliant plan," Tony finished jokingly, with a grin. Ziva rolled her eyes.

"Will you please stop bringing that up, Tony?" the Israeli said through gritted teeth.

"I won't," he laughed. "You were so into it, you—"

She turned to him.

Her eyes. They pleaded for him to stop, so he did. And quite abruptly.

The others were a little stunned by the seemingly telepathic conversations that were going on between these two. Things had been weird ever since they were rescued. First the bathroom, now this. Abby was beginning to wonder just what went down while they were gone.

"So…can we hear the whole story?" she asked in a small voice, not wanting to make them upset.

Tony looked to his partner, who gave him a warning look, before beginning the story herself. The secrets she told Tony were for her and her only to tell.

"We were gassed when we got to Mason's house," she explained. "When we woke up, we were in this tile room. There were no windows, only a door that was, of course, locked."

"Then we..." Tony took over. "We kinda had a fight."

"About?" Abby asked, concerned.

"Stupid stuff," Tony replied. "We were just a little freaked out."

"So what was with the vomiting?" McGee questioned, remembering Tony's complaint about the smell.

"I just had a stomach bug," Ziva lied. "Nothing too serious."

As much as she was a magnificent liar, she couldn't help resting a gentle hand on where her baby was growing. It was almost an apologetic gesture, which made Tony tense in the fear they would notice and question her but at the same time he smiled at her unawareness of her obviously very strong maternal instincts. She wanted no more than for this child of hers to be happy and healthy and safe.

"Anyway, we are fine," Ziva said. "Can we talk about something else?"

Tony took a sip of his beer. "Anything interesting happen around the office while we were gone?"

"McGee stood up to Gibbs," Abby said, only just remembering it now.

Ziva raised her brows, shocked and almost impressed. "You what?"

"I told him to cut the crap," McGee explained slowly. "No more head slaps, no more staring. Respect."

"And that worked?" Tony asked, stunned that McGee would even have the guts to do that, let alone get a result.

"Yeah, well, so far so good. I don't know how he'll cope with you two back around the office," the younger agent laughed and Tony pouted and sipped his beer again.

The discussion went on for a good hour or so, and Ziva was unusually quiet. She wasn't a particularly loud person to begin with, but this was quiet even for her.

Abby finished her third beer and pulled her jacket onto her arms. "Will you take me home, Timmy?" she asked.

"Sorry, Abs, I gotta wait for Tony. I brought him here in my car," McGee said, a little sadly.

"It's OK, Probie, I'll get a cab," Tony shrugged.

McGee nodded and followed Abby out of the bar into the cold, snowy night, leaving the two partners in the bar.

"Well, I guess I better be heading home, too," Tony said, pulling out his cell phone.

"Do not be ridiculous, Tony, I will drive you," Ziva replied. "Traffic on a night like tonight when the roads are icy will be horrible. Better you have someone to talk to other than making small talk with the cab driver."

"Sounds good."

As they walked out of the cosy bar and into the street, the cold night air sent a chill up Ziva's spine, and she shivered. She only had a thin cardigan over her blouse, not exactly warm on a night like this.

Tony, who was warm inside his coat, offered her one of the hands that had previously been stuffed in his pocked. His larger hand wrapped around her slender fingers instantly warmed them.

"Ziva, you're freezing," he commented.

"I know," she said. "I wish I hadn't parked so far from the bar."

"Yeah, you're getting snowflakes in your hair." Tony gently plucked a small piece of white snow from her ponytail.

For a moment they were quiet. Everything was quiet.

There were no cars driving, only parked ones, there were no other people on the street. It was just them, in the snow.

Ziva parted her lips to say something, but her words were lost in the air, floating away into a little white cloud before disappearing completely. She decided the silence was better. It was peaceful. It was less scary.

They stopped in front of the parked Mini Cooper. Tony slid into the passenger's side and Ziva took the wheel.

"You're not going to kill me with your driving, are you?" Tony asked, breaking the silence.

"You think I would not go a little slower when the roads are so icy, and at night?" she asked in reply.

He silently agreed and leant back in his seat, turning up the heat in the car.

Then something caught his eye. It was a CD.

"I didn't know you liked the Backstreet Boys, Ziva," he said, supressing a laugh.

"I enjoy their music," she replied. "So what?"

He scoffed and put the disc into the car's player. She heard high piano notes and automatically knew what song it was—her favourite one on the album. Sometimes, when she felt sad, this was the perfect song to listen to. But around Tony? Maybe not such a brilliant idea. He probably didn't want to listen to it anyway. It was, after all, a love song.

She went to press "eject", but he stopped her. "Now I'm curious," he said evilly. "Why don't you want me to hear it?"

"You're cocky. Maybe I just didn't want to listen to it," she replied.

The song stopped him from saying anymore. Ziva gave up, knowing he would be his irritating self until he got whatever he wanted, however stupid it may seem.

"Remember when we never needed each other," the voice sang through the Mini Cooper's speakers.

"The best of friends, like sister and brother."

Tony's eyes flickered to Ziva's face, going in and out of darkness as they passed under street lamps, the concentration obvious as she tried to focus on the road.

"We understood we'd never be alone."

The Israeli began to hum gently to the song she loved, not daring to sing the lyrics.

"Those days are gone, now I want you so much.

"The night is long, and I need your touch."

A smile lit up his eyes and he could see that this song hit close to home for Ziva. He, too, decided to hum along, as he knew the song.

"Don't know what to say.

Never meant to feel this way."

Ziva threw a glance his way. "Guess I'm not the only fan, then?"

"Don't wanna be…"

"This happens to be the only song I know," he said, matter-of-factly.

She just raised her eyebrows.

"Alone tonight…"

"OK, so maybe I know a few."

She didn't move.

"What can I do, to make you mine?"

"OK, fine! I have all their CDs. Happy?"

"Falling so hard; so fast this time."

The ex-assassin still said nothing, just went along humming, but Tony sang along, quietly.

"What can I say? What did you do?"

In good spirit, Ziva joined in for the last line of the chorus:

"How did I fall in love with you?"

She laughed softly and turned to meet and match his smile, and even as the moment faded and Ziva hit the brakes when they approached a red light, they couldn't stop looking at each other.

It had happened before, and it was happening now. She almost wished she didn't have to, but Ziva pulled away to watch the road. Tony turned the volume down, so as not to get further distracted from what was really on his mind.

"Hey, uh…" he hesitated.

The Israeli bit her lip. "Yes?"

"When are you gonna tell the team?"

She sighed. "Soon," she promised. "I want to, but every time I try to form the words, I just can't help but think they will be disappointed in me."

"They won't be disappointed," Tony tried to reassure her.

"I got pregnant by a married man two days after I met him, Tony. Not exactly something to be proud of."

It was a terrible thing. At least it seemed like she had accepted it.

"It's not your fault," he said, even though it would have been a reflex.

"You keep saying that, Tony, but that does not change the fact that I am stuck with the consequences!" she replied loudly. "We cannot control what happens in our lives, I admit. And I know I am not the only person who has done something they are not proud of, but this is more than just an embarrassing memory, Tony. This is a human life!"

"I thought you were happy," he argued feebly.

"You think I needed this? Sure, I wanted to have a family someday but now, and not with someone who I don't love and doesn't love me."

"You could give it up if you wanted to, you know. We'd all understand."

She shook her head. "No. I couldn't. It may not be the most convenient child but it is mine, and I can't help but love it."

"I can tell," he whispered, smiling. "It's OK to love something, Ziva. A child is something you're gonna get attached to."

"My father always said getting too attached is a mistake. I'll tell you what was a mistake: listening to him."

"There you go."

"You know, Tony, I've been thinking. About your offer?"

He looked at her expectantly.

"A child needs a good father. You are, more or less, the kind of man I would want my child to look up to: brave, selfless, kind.

"More or less?" he questioned.

"Are you going to let me finish?"

He backed off.

"As I was saying, I am sure you would make a wonderful father. But like I said, a child needs a father. Not just a male role model that he sees some of the time. And asking you to do any more than that would not be right."

"Ziva, how many times do we have to go over this? Whatever you need, I got it. I understand this is a kid and you can't just have a trial period but, well…"

"Well what?" she asked, concerned.

"I'm afraid I'll never get kids of my own and I'd hate to see you struggle so much by yourself, even during the pregnancy, being your first time and all."

Kids of my own…

By yourself…

First time…

Ziva closed her eyes to stop suddenly present tears from falling. "Ori," she whispered. It was Hebrew, Tony knew. She pulled over, knowing it wasn't a good idea to be driving right now.

"Ziva, what's wrong?" he asked, alarmed by her tears. "What's 'Ori'?"

"Ori is a Hebrew name meaning, 'my light'," she explained.

"That's nice," he said, almost smiling. "But why are you—"

"It was my first choice of a name."

Tony still didn't understand.

"Last year, when I…when we…"

"Oh my God…" Tony whispered.

"I had a miscarriage," she sobbed. "It was yours."

…

A/N: Just when you thought things were getting boring! Reviews would be lovely, I'm so happy with the response on this story, it's great. Favourite line/part? Next chapter will hopefully be up some time in the next week. This is the longest chapter yet!