Wouldja look at that? Another chapter within the month! You guys had better be seriously proud of me.

Disclaimer: TT is no brainchild of mine.

Go For Broke

The days passed with lazy ease at Titans East. Starfire spent her time in the training room, meditating as Raven had taught her, and lounging in the pool to chat with the other team. Entertaining Mas y Menos burned her energy like nothing else could, Speed would train with her and they would talk of Tamaran, she and Bee shopped for casualwear of Starfire's own, and Aqualad taught her how to predict the weather with more reliability than meteorologists. Starfire was fascinated with the movements of fronts and cloud masses and what made lightning strike.

The first time it stormed hard at the Tower, she nearly keeled over in terror when Mas y Menos announced their desire to be lightning rods and tore upstairs to do just that. Aqualad took her up to the booth the team had set up on the roof that was guarded against the bolts and would allow the team to keep an eye on their young charges.

"It is very beautiful," Starfire said with a wistful sigh, trying to calm her pounding heart every time the deadly, gorgeous lightning would jag down from the sky to strike the boys.

"And very dangerous, as many things are," Aqualad replied. Starfire propped her chin in one hand and contented herself to watch the lightning dance with the boys like they were old friends. She smiled easily, forcing herself to relax. Mas y Menos were clearly enjoying themselves.

"The nightmares have ceased," she said spontaneously.

"Oh?" Aqualad replied noncommittally. She pondered this answer for a moment, but her usual rage did not appear, and rightly so. It was a good feeling, to be calm again.

"I think that I almost miss them. I am so tired from The Training that I do not dream," she explained. "I no longer see her face."

"Does it sadden you?" he inquired. Her mouth opened, but when she really thought about it, she was surprised to find herself unsure.

"It should, I believe, but perhaps not so much anymore," she finally conceded. "I feel guilty."

"Don't. Raven should be a positive force that drives you on, not a negative one that crushes you," he responded. "Take the boys, for instant. We could worry ourselves into the ground about them getting hurt, but rather, we use our desire for their safety to protect them and others. It accomplishes much more." Mas reached a hand as high as he could into the air, and the lightning struck, almost tenderly meeting the welcoming fingertips of the child. Menos held up his own hand, and the bolt leaped from Mas to Menos.

Starfire shivered as she watched the boys, the cold penetrating their haven, at which point Aqualad produced a blanket that he draped over both of their laps.

"It gets chilly up here," he said as he adjusted the corner over his feet. "But we can't leave them by themselves. Lord only knows what they'd do if they thought they could get away with it."

"I thank you for allowing me to watch. Though it may have taken some time for my heart to cease with its quick beating, I am finding it quite enjoyable," she said emphatically with a wide smile. Aqualad returned it.

"It's good to see your mood returning," he said. The two watched the boys until the storm moved on, with the children waving sadly to the cloud bank. After a few moments of wistful watching, they trooped downstairs without so much as a glance towards their overseers, completely consumed with misery of a good thing coming to an end, as children were wont to do. Starfire helped Aqualad fold the blanket and store it away. He opened the door for her to go back downstairs, gallantly holding out a hand.

"Do you need assistance, fine lady?" he teased. Starfire flushed as she took his hand.

"I thank you, good sir," she giggled shyly. He guided her down the first three steps before releasing her and following along, locking the door behind him. When they reached the base of the stairs, Starfire turned abruptly, causing the other man to run into her. She flushed and took a small step back to restore personal space before taking his hands.

"Truly, I thank you deeply for the beautiful experience, as well as everything else. I believe it is quite helpful," she said awkwardly. He squeezed her fingers in reassurance.

"I believe it is, too. You will be a new woman when you leave," he told her. He raised one of her hands to his mouth and ghosted a kiss across the back of her fingers. "But I shouldn't do that when you have a boyfriend," he amended thoughtfully. "I forgot." Starfire giggled.

"I am sure that Robin will not mind if it is only my hand," she told him with a pat on the hand that held hers. Suddenly, a large yawn overtook her, and she stretched. "But I must sleep. I am quite exhausted."

"You look it. See you in the morning," Aqualad said with a small wave as he eased past her and continued down the hall to his own quarters. Starfire smiled from ear to ear and went to her own room at a spry trot. She needed to take vacations more often. She let out a peal of laughter as she fondly remembered the time that she and Raven had first met Aqualad. They'd spent hours reiterating how attractive he was; the boys had had quite enough by the time they'd returned to their own Tower. He was charming, Star would definitely give him that. And he always knew what to say. Much like Robin used to, before he started blaming himself for everything. Her smile melted away, and she felt a pang of guilt; here she was, having fun while the rest of her team suffered. She sighed as she curled up in bed. Perhaps she should return home sooner than she'd envisioned. She had to learn how to cope while around her teammates. All the happiness in the world wouldn't help her if her friends couldn't be joyful with her.

"I will return home in a few days," she resolved. That would put her return at a week early. And they were surely worried. She could use her time to modify the weight room with one of Mas y Menos' reinforced designs. She fell asleep only after she stopped feeling guilty for her own healing.

The few days that Starfire had allotted to herself passed more quickly than she'd thought possible. It was with a twinge of regret that she packed her new clothes into a bag and slung it over her shoulder. The entire Titans East team had turned out to bid her farewell. Mas y Menos bawled for her to stay, but when that tactic was unsuccessful, they quieted to sniffles and hugged her before running out of the room to brood. Speedy supplied her with blueprints for some reinforced training equipment, and Bee swept her into a big hug.

"Visit us more often!" the woman admonished. Star smiled and nodded before Aqualad caught her hand up and kissed it; a joke he'd found great pleasure in continuing once he discovered that he could get a favorable response from her.

"I shall tell," Starfire teased. At first, his affection had been uncomfortable, but it quickly became clear that he was simply joking around to raise her spirits, and once she allowed it to do that, the teasing became mutual.

"You wouldn't," Aqualad retorted as he hugged her as well. "Bee is right. You should visit us more often. Everyone should. Titan vacation to Tahiti."

"I second!" Bee agreed heartily. Starfire pulled from Aqualad, thanking the entire team profusely again before, with a final wave and wail from the children, she took to the skies.

Returning to the Tower was depressing, to say the least. Star could physically feel the weight of the sorrow, but she fought it away. She'd felt so much lighter over the past couple of weeks that she simply couldn't feel so destroyed again. Getting so low again was too painful to consider.

"I'm hoooome!" she shouted as she entered to Tower. Cyborg and Beast Boy, who were furiously gaming on the couch, paused their game and rose. Upon seeing her smile, they visibly relaxed. Another pang of guilt hit Starfire; she'd put them through a lot. She resolved to cook them a meal later to apologize.

"Did you have a good vacation?" Beast Boy asked. "Did you get me a present?"

"Did you get me a present?" Cyborg cut in. Starfire laughed.

"I am home! Is that not present enough?" she asked gleefully. The boys visibly wilted, perked when they saw her set down her bag to rummage through it, and wilted again when she pulled out a sheaf of paper. She waved it at Cyborg.

"Here are some modifications to the weight room so that I may train, as well," she said. Cyborg took the sheet and looked at it thoughtfully as Beast Boy turned into a monkey and perched on the big man's shoulder to look at the plans.

"Starfire!"

The girl turned, a big smile on her face as opened her arms wide for a hug from Robin. Her arms drooped at the livid look on his face.

"What is the matter, my Robin?" she asked.

"What's the matter? What's the matter? You just up and vanished, didn't leave us any way to get hold of you, no warning, just fly the hell off to some galaxy in the middle of nowhere. What if we had needed you?" he demanded furiously.

"Robin, I was simply at Titans East. I just didn't want to be bothered," she said, surprised by his outburst. "If there had been an emergency, I would have been here very quickly to assist." She thought his eyes would pop out of his head, they got so wide.

"You were at Titans East? This whole time?" he asked, his voice filled with incredulous anger.

"Robin, chill. She's fine," Cyborg said. Robin glared at him, then glared at Starfire, his mouth working as though he had a great many things to say about the situation.

"Where is the book?" he finally demanded. Starfire frowned, hurt.

"What book?" she asked sullenly.

"Raven's book! The one she was reading the day she died!" he shouted at her, his words stabbing like hot knives.

"Dude, what is your deal?" Beast Boy asked irritably.

"It is in the hospital ward, tucked between the mattress and the bed of Raven's tomb!" Starfire snapped, her own anger catching up with her hurt. "It is so nice to have such a wonderful homecoming greeting from my boyfriend! I should have stayed at Titan's East!"

"No, you should have stayed here!" Robin snapped back. "You were needed here!"

"To tell you where one of Raven's numerous books is stashed away? You think that my obsession was unhealthy!"

"It was!"

"Who is obsessed now!"

"Look, I—" Robin started before waving an impatient hand at her and storming away. Starfire watched his back disappear before she allowed herself to tear up. She whirled to the other two.

"What is his problem?" she shouted angrily at them. Beast Boy quailed, but Cyborg merely shrugged, as though determined to weather this storm.

"No idea. He's been broodier than usual, lately," he said. "Spends a lot of time in Raven's room, rips apart the unused rooms and weeds out things we don't need." Starfire's brow furrowed in exasperated confusion and threw her hands in the air in defeat.

"And then he wonders why I leave without informing him! I am no tool of his!" she shrieked in annoyance before storming off to her own room.

As she slammed the door behind her, she found herself longing for Speed's easy conversations and Aqualad's flirting. She bit her lip; surely that wasn't good. But, Robin would be back to normal shortly, and then it wasn't going to matter. Stoicly reminding herself of why she loved Robin in the first place, she unpacked her bags.

She did some wardrobe rearrangements to put her comfy clothes near the top, and changed into them once she was finished. Her long, red hair went back into a braided ponytail that she curled around her head and pinned into place to keep out of her way, and then tied a bandanna over the whole knot. The Tower was trashed, and she was going to remedy it. Nobody had even kept up the pretense of cleaning since Raven's death, and it was time for everyone to move forward, Robin or no Robin. She wiped away the remnants of her rebellious tears, resolving to talk to Robin once he'd calmed down, and walked out of her room.

Raven sat stone still, endlessly recycling old and discarded ideas as she sat in bed. Perhaps Robin could take her mirror into the hospital ward, deadly watcher demons be damned? No go; she was bound to the mirror, whether she liked it or not. Perhaps another copy of the book, squirreled away? But no, she'd combed the palace and the outlying buildings. Constructing some kind of anti-spell to combat whatever had taken hold of her mind? Plausible, but it'd take too long to figure out. She numbered herself in hours, now.

Her mind was a finely honed tool of concentration, and nothing less would suffice, at this point. Even the slightest hint of a gap in her defenses, and everything would come crashing down. The poor mirror was on its last legs. A huge, spiderweb crack spread across the glass, and the handle felt as brittle as old bone. Her power wasn't faring much better; she kept forgetting how to wield it.

Suddenly, an almighty assault rolled over her mind. Her defenses shook under the force of the power, and grudgingly, she gave a little ground for the sake of keeping a lot of it. Her flexible shield held as she felt the last remnants of Starfire's glowing green eyes and brilliant red hair slip away…barely. She knew there were others before the alien; others she'd grown to love. But as Star's happy face faded into darkness, she knew that the next time she saw them, if she ever saw them, there would be no happy homecoming. Just a scared demoness with a rampant mistrust of all things mortal.

She pulled her shield back even farther, creating a strong, stable little bubble around the important things. The book, the love for Earth, the Azarian in her, hate for her father…and Robin.

"You are mine," the very real image of her hissed gleefully from across the room, staring at her with red, hungry eyes. Raven closed her eyes to the shade, willing herself to hold out.

When the time came, she pulled into her lap the fragile mirror that she knew belonged to someone she loved but couldn't remember, like a childhood friend you only vaguely recall. Fond fingers caressed the broken glass, and she cut herself on the sharp edges. She only had the juice for one more shot left in her.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, she thought grimly, flattening her hand against the glass as she forced herself into the mirror.

OHOHO. :D