Kiss Away My Sins - Chapter 7
Hey y'all. Sorry for the long wait. I have been incredibly busy with school work. I am also in a play, and I have been rehearsing every night. After school, I have to do chores at home (and I live on a farm so that means I have a shit ton of work to do) and then I go straight to play practice and I'm there from 6 to 9 Monday through Thursday. On Fridays it's from 6 to 10, and every now and then we have Saturday practices and on Sunday I have family get-togethers and church, so... yeah. Oh, and the play's opening night is 11 days from now. And we have not even gotten through Act 2 yet. Plus, in between all that, I have to do homework, which includes reading and writing like seven papers on every book I read for my English class, and also other homework for Trig and Anatomy.
So, saying I'm stressed is a bit of an understatement, but I promise that once all of this play business is done, I'll have much more time to write. I'll make it up to you, I promise.
I don't own The Walking Dead.
Chapter Seven
Carol stumbled back to camp in the dark. Her mind was whirling from her conversation with the redneck. A state of disbelief began to take over her; had Daryl Dixon really offered to kill her husband? She didn't know if that had actually been said or not. Her head was spinning, but that might have been from Ed's beating. Looking back on it, she found it hard to believe that he would ever do such a thing.
She was not going to lie: her head hurt like hell, her vision was blurry, and Daryl Dixon had looked like a knight in shining armor back there. It was perfectly possible and plausible that her unsound mind made the entire conversation up. For all she knew, Daryl hadn't even been there in the first place.
Yes he was, a small part of her insisted. She glanced down at the chamomile in her hands, as if seeing it for the first time. The white flower became focused and then unfocused while her head continued to pound. He was there. He gave me this flower… And he offered to kill Ed.
She wondered what her life would be like without Ed. Things would be so different... so much better. She and Sophia could actually be happy... They could have a normal life. They could be a family.
She met Ed Peletier in college. Carol was majoring in English, and had no classes with the tall, burly man. She didn't even see him until her friend introduced them. Back then, Carol was an entirely different person; vivacious, happy-go-lucky, optimistic, adventurous, and a hopeless romantic. She longed for a tan, muscular man to wrap his arms around her and kiss her over and over and whisper sweet nothings in her ear. She romanticized what love was, and had an outlandish, naïve expectation of it. All the movies she watched, all the books she read—none of them captured how things truly were; none of them prepared her for Ed.
In a way, she was desperate. It wasn't that she wasn't beautiful—in fact, Carol was a very beautiful woman. But, with three older sisters that always seemed to be better than her in every way possible, she never considered herself worth much. Even though there were many guys that looked at her with hungry, lustful eyes, and spent good amounts of time imagining what it would be like to have her in their bed for just one night, Carol never noticed. It wasn't that she was humble, she just had no self-esteem whatsoever, and that made it even easier for Ed to earn her trust.
Carol's friend, Melody, had introduced them at a party. Ed had seemed nice enough—relatively handsome, athletic, broad-shouldered, muscular but not overly so (his gut was a bit large, even then), and he seemed to be a relatively good guy. Carol had made small talk with him, mostly just asking him about school and what he was majoring in.
Ed rarely talked about himself, and always seemed to turn the conversation around so it would focus on Carol. The man seemed to want to know all he could about her. After about an hour and a few drinks, she was telling him her life story. To her surprise, Ed didn't seem to mind that she was blabbing on about silly stuff. In fact, he seemed to sympathize with her. Once she completed her long-winded story, he just gave her a gentle smile. "You deserve to get a little attention," he told her. His light blue eyes seemed to gleam in the dim light of the party.
Carol had just smiled at him. They talked for the rest of the night until they realized that they were virtually alone. There were a few couples passed out on the floor, some of them making out, but other than that, they were by themselves. Ed bid her goodnight and said he hoped that she would give him a call.
When she got home, she couldn't wait until the next night when she could call him up. If only she knew what her harmless little relationship would spiral into.
Despite all the mental and physical abuse that she had received, there was one thing that made it all worth the while: Sophia. Her darling daughter was her only reason to live; the only thing she cared about. As far as Carol was concerned, Ed could do whatever he wanted to her—beat her, rape her, call her every dirty and nasty name that he could think of—and she would willingly take it as long as it meant he would leave Sophia alone. Her biggest fear was that, as Sophia grew older, Ed may begin to look at her as a new victim. If Ed ever tried to beat Sophia, or touch her in any way, Carol would kill him. If he did that to her, it was alright-she had been stupid enough to marry him; she fell for his false charm and empty words, so, in her mind, she deserved it. But Sophia was innocent. Sophia did nothing wrong.
Carol was preparing dinner, and Sophia sat at the kitchen table doing homework. It was moments like these that Carol cherished—living her life with her daughter as if Ed didn't exist. While Ed was away at work, or out drinking, Carol and Sophia Peletier slipped into a blissful fantasy. They didn't have to deal with his yelling; they didn't have to worry about him beating them. They could just do their best to be happy and forget that even existed.
She knew that her husband would be working late tonight, which made it even better. By the time Ed got home, Sophia would be in bed and Carol would most likely be doing the same, or sitting up reading. She would make Ed a plate and leave it in the microwave for him. After he ate, he usually liked to watch TV for a bit. Carol might be asleep before he even got to bed. And, hopefully, he was too exhausted for sex.
That particular night, neither of them had been very lucky. What they thought would be a quiet, normal evening turned into a nightmare by the opening of a door.
Carol's heart stopped in her chest when she heard the lock on the front door turn. Sophia was too absorbed in her math homework to notice, but Carol heard it as clear as day. As her husband turned the doorknob, Carol spun around, looking at her daughter with wild eyes. "Sophia, upstairs!" she hissed, beginning to clean off the kitchen table.
The door opened, and she heard Ed's booming voice. "CAROL!" Her twelve-year-old daughter sprinted up the stairs at the sound. Carol's heart broke at the sight. Her daughter shouldn't have to be afraid in her own house.
Ed stormed into the kitchen in drunken rage. He stopped about three feet away from her, but even from that distance, she could smell the alcohol on him. There were so many things she wanted to tell that man, so many names she would have liked to call him in that moment. She wanted to tell him that he wasn't a man—if anything he was a coward. Someone who could beat his defenseless wife, but trembled when faced with an equally-matched opponent. Despite everything she wanted to say, she knew better than that. She kept her mouth shut.
Carol interlocked her fingers and stared at the stove while Ed watched her. A pot of water was steaming on the stove, bubbles just blooming on the bottom of the pan. Next to the stove was a box of unopened pasta that was supposed to be their dinner. She bit her lip, waiting for Ed's rage.
"Where the fuck is dinner?" he demanded.
She gulped. "You're… you're home early, dear," she replied. "I was just getting it ready…"
He slammed his fist down on the counter. Carol jumped, but stayed where she was. "YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB, WOMAN!" he roared. "YOU CAN'T EVEN DO ONE SIMPLE THING?! WHAT THE FUCK DID I MARRY YOUR SORRY ASS FOR?! OH, THAT'S RIGHT, BECAUSE YOU OPENED YOUR LEGS THE FIRST CHANCE YOU GOT AND NOW WE HAVE THAT LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT UPSTAIRS!"
Tears sprung to Carol's eyes. She squeezed her hands, trying to keep herself from murdering him. It was bad enough that she treated her like she was less than dirt, but when he spoke about Sophia like that, it made her physically hurt. Shortly after she had married Ed Peletier, she'd realized that her husband could never love her, or their daughter. In fact, she believed it was safe to say that he would never truly love anything. "I'm sor—"
Ed didn't let her finish, he stalked toward her, and grabbed her right shoulder with his massive hand. Carol closed her eyes and gritted her teeth as her husband's right fist collided with her face. Her knees gave out, and she collapsed onto the kitchen floor, seeing stars. The familiar metallic taste of blood flooded her mouth, making her gag. She stayed there on the floor, pulling her knees up to her chest. All she wanted was to disappear. She wanted the pain to be over. She didn't want to be beaten, or terrorized anymore. There had to be an end. There had to be an out.
The next thing Carol knew, her torso was drenched in scalding water. She threw back her head and screamed. Somewhere nearby, she heard Sophia screaming and crying at the top of her lungs. Ed was yelling, telling both his wife and daughter to shut up. The pain was excruciating, every part of Carol's torso felt like it was being incinerated. She began shouting for help, hoping that one of the neighbors would hear. Someone had to. Someone had to help. She couldn't do this on her own anymore. She couldn't stand it.
"I SAID SHUT UP, YOU WHORE!" Ed bellowed before kicking her in the face.
That was when Carol's world went black.
Ed had told the EMTs that she had slipped in the kitchen and had fallen into the stove, hit her head off the side, and the pan of water had fallen on her. Carol didn't know if they believed his story or not, but they didn't look any further into it. She wanted to tell them the truth. She wanted to get out of there and take her daughter away from the monster that was her father. Yet, she couldn't leave. Where on earth would she go?
Carol had been in the hospital for weeks recovering from her burns. When she finally went home, Ed made no effort to apologize. He hardly even spoke to her. Sophia, who had been alone with him while Carol was in the hospital, assured her mother that nothing had happened. She said that they mostly ignored each other, which was a great relief to Carol. But she knew that the day would come when Ed would strike her daughter. And when that day came, she had no idea what she was going to do.
As she walked back to camp, her mind was racing with thoughts of her finally getting her revenge, and how to prevent him from ever hurting their daughter. She knew that Ed was her husband, and she knew that, in the eyes of God, they were meant to be together for as long as they both lived. She had taken vows, and now she wore his ring. She looked down at the silver band, and tried not to grimace in disgust. Once, it had brought her such joy, but now it felt like an iron cuff connected to a chain that Ed held, keeping her bound to him. The notion of taking it off and leaving him had often crossed her mind, especially after her daughter was born, but where would she go?
By the time Carol got married, her sisters were spread out across the country. One was up in New York, the other in Nevada. Her parents had passed away in a car crash shortly after Sophia was born, so she really had nowhere to go. She wasn't brave enough to travel the country by herself, and she didn't have anyone in the entire state of Georgia that was would help her.
That changed after the world ended. She met Lori, Jacqui, Andrea, and Amy. The four of them had become her friends, and encouraged her to leave Ed's sorry ass. They wanted to help, and Carol was sure that they would if she asked them to. But again, the problem of where they would go afterwards hung over her like a dark storm cloud. They couldn't leave the camp—that would be suicide—but if they stayed, Ed would never let them go. The only way he would give them up is if someone put a bullet in his head.
Or an arrow in his ass, Carol thought with amusement. She remembered the younger Dixon brother's favorite warning. Her mind wandered back to her encounter with the normally loud, erratic redneck. There was something about him, something that made her heart leap into her throat. He was very easy on the eyes, and the way his arms flexed when he held his crossbow—
Carol shook her head, smiling to herself. She was acting like a teenage girl. She was over forty years old; she didn't need to be thinking about things like that. Yet, Daryl Dixon awoke something in her that she hadn't felt in decades.
When she reached the camp, she quietly walked over to her tent. But before she went inside, she looked down at the flower the younger Dixon brother had given her, and for the first time in a long time, Carol felt hope.
A/N: Well, what did you think? Worth the wait? Be sure to leave a review and tell me what you want to see next, or what you would like to see in the future.