DISCLAIMER: The plot belongs to me but all things Twilight belong to the lovely Stephenie Meyer

Chapter#6. The Word of the Day is Revenge

"What is going on with this phone?" Emmett demanded, looking at it as if it was the spawn of Satan.

I looked across the room at Edward, biting my lip against my smile. He winked slyly.

"What's wrong with it, Em?" He asked casually.

He was good.

"Yeah." I seconded. "What's it doing?"

My big bear of a brother looked down at the phone, actually shaking it slightly.

"My ring tone is stuck on the Barbie Girl song."

I snickered.

"I hope the ring-back tone didn't change too."

Edward raised an eyebrow at me. Yeah, that wasn't part of the original plan. I improvised.

"Why would you think that?" Emmett asked, looking at me accusingly.

I shrugged, flicking some hair behind my ear.

"I was just wondering." I said easily. "If the ring tone changed it only makes sense that the ring-back tone would too."

He wrinkled his brow, staring at the phone as if trying to pick out the ring tone people would hear when they called.

"You want me to check?" I asked helpfully.

He nodded.

I turned to get my phone, snickering to myself. I dialed Em's familiar number, putting my own phone on speaker.

An automated voice told us to enjoy the music while our party was reached and I looked at Emmett as the music came on, watching his expression. His eyes widened in what could only be considered fear as Promiscuous Girl blared through the room.

"What the crap?!" He roared.

We all burst into loud laughter. He lunged for my phone, trying to get me to hang up so the music would stop. As if that would make us forget it was his ring-back tone in the first place.

"What if someone from work calls?" He was aghast.

"Well, Em." I said straight faced, dodging his advances on my phone. "I suppose they'd think you were a... promiscuous girl." I couldn't contain the giggle that had been bubbling in my throat as I finished my sentence.

He gave up on the phone and tackled me. I laughed hysterically as he sat beside me, shutting my phone and keeping me pinned to the floor.

"I didn't even own that song." He promised. "How did that happen?"

"What ever you say, Em." Edward teased seriously.

He whipped his head to his friend, frowning.

"I don't know how-"

"It can't just set itself as your ring-back tone if you don't even own it." Rosalie joined in.

Jasper raised one eyebrow from where he was sitting on the couch with Alice.

"Well, Emmett," he began. "I had no idea."

We all burst into a fresh peal of laughter at that.

"How do I change it?" He asked frantically, looking at his new iPhone.

I wiggled around and he released me so that I could sit up now that he had my phone.

"Read the instructions." I said, a bit smug at the fact that he probably had no idea where the instructions were. Rose was always trying to get him to read the instructions but he never listened. I guess everyone was getting a little sweet revenge today.

He looked to me, fresh fear in his eyes.

"I- I don't know where they are." He exclaimed.

I shook my head gravely.

"I guess you're stuck then, Emily."

He scowled at me, punching me in the arm- not hard, just enough to knock me off balance. I felt like one of those Weebles, you know the playschool toys. Weebles wobble but they don't fall down! Except I definitely had no problem falling down.

"I will get you back for this, Bellie." He said ominously. "I don't know how yet but I know you had something to do with this."

I cracked up. He looked so serious.

"Who says it was Bella?"

Emmett and I looked at Edward who was leaning against the wall beside the sofa, one eyebrow raised smugly.

Emmett shot him a look.

"It was definitely Bella." He said without a doubt. "She's still pissed about her truck."

I nodded in agreement and Edward rolled his eyes at me.

"She's a grudge holder." Alice sang from beside Jasper. I shot her a look and she smiled at me, unapologetic.

I sighed.

"But would I really do that?" I asked, looking back to Emmett. "Would I really change your ring tones to girly songs? I mean your boss might call."

He narrowed his eyes at me.

"Yes." Everyone said at the same time.

I shrugged.

"I guess I might." I agreed, good natured. "You'd better get to looking for those instructions."

He looked at me for a moment as if in disbelief.

"I thought you loved me." He said finally.

I snickered.

"I do love you, Emily." I said, a taunting edge to my voice. "You're like my big brother. Well..."

He shot me a look and I held my hands out in surrender, laughing.

"But sometimes big brother needs a good swift kick in the rear."

He stood up, never breaking eye contact with me. He pointed to his own eyes and then at me in the universal signal of I'll be watching you.

"Watch your back, Swan." He said in warning as he walked backward out of the room- presumably to look for the missing instructions.

Everyone laughed out loud when he was out of sight, looking at me.

"Did you really change them?" Alice asked, practically giddy. She liked revenge a little more than could be considered healthy.

I nodded, catching Edward's eye. He saluted me behind Jasper's back and I giggled, euphoric with the feeling of a job well done.

Everyone went back to their previous activities after that. All except for Rose, who despite the good laugh she had decided to go help Emmett look.

Alice and Jasper were playing a very heated game of chess with three boards. I shook my head at them. I couldn't even watch them play chess without my ulcer acting up. They were so competitive. If you didn't know they loved each other desperately you would think they were the mortal enemies.

Edward came up behind me as I was picking a book from the limited selection Rose had on the bookshelf in their living room. She loved the car magazines and Emmett's reading material was limited to the TV guide and closed captioning.

"Good work." He whispered.

I spun around as his breath hit my neck, sending chills down my spin. I shook it off.

"Thanks." I grinned. "Do I get a promotion?"

He seemed to think about it.

"Well," he said after a moment. "It's still a horrible name but it did work out better than expected."

I nodded. It was hilarious if I do say so myself and it would only get better when the second phase came into play.

"Alright." He sighed, pretending to be put out. "You've got your promotion."

I clapped, feigning all encompassing joy.

"So, what's my title now?" I asked, looking back at the books.

"I was thinking of Deviously Beautiful Bella."

I wrinkled my nose.

"Sounds like a mouthful." I commented. "How about something more along the lines of... the master of all things devious?"

He laughed.

"That's longer than what I said!"

I smirked at him over my shoulder.

"But it has a nice ring to it- doesn't it?"

He just chuckled.

We both fell silent as Barbie Girl echoed from the other room. Emmett cursed loudly before picking up the phone, silencing Barbie and her Barbie world.

I put my hand over my mouth, stifling my laughter. Edward looked like he was having an equally hard time trying to keep his amusement to himself. I wanted to ask if he thought it was phase two beginning or if it was just someone calling Emmett but Alice broke in from the sofa across the room.

"Can you go shopping tomorrow for the center pieces, Bella?"

I made a face and Edward looked at me sympathetically. Alice looked over the top of the sofa, having to stretch a little to see me.

"I showed you the picture of what I wanted yesterday right?"

I nodded. Great. More wedding planning! We had been planning for what seemed like an eternity now. Thank god the wedding was only about three weeks away.

She frowned.

"Rose is helping me pick the flower girl dress tomorrow." She said. "You could help with that instead."

I held my hands out in front of me, whether I was signaling surrender or I was just trying to block the words I'm not sure yet. Probably a little of both.

"No, no." I said quickly. "Center pieces sound good."

She rolled her eyes but didn't say anything else, looking back to her chess boards.

"Jasper Witlock! Did you move my queen?!"

"What's with the look?" Edward asked.

I looked back at him.

"The look that says, god I wish I didn't have to pick out center pieces? Or the look that screams, shopping for clothes with Alice? Anything but that!"

He looked surprised by how passionate I spoke and I nodded.

"Yes, it's that bad." I answered his unspoken question.

He leaned in closer, his eyes shinning in that way people often look when they're telling scary campfire stories- wanting to know what happens next but fearing it all the same.

"What's she do?" he asked, his voice hushed.

I wrinkled my nose.

"She goes all Hitler on you." I spoke in the same stage whispered voice. "She goes in with an exact idea of what she wants and then she scourers the entire store for that specific dress, yelping orders at you the whole time. There's this vein on her forehead,"

I pointed to the spot on my own forehead and he nodded, his wide eyes trained to the spot I indicated.

"And it starts... like pulsing. And no other dress will work because she wants the replica to the one she's imagined which very rarely happens."

I leaned in closer, motioning for him to do the same. He did.

"She made the saleslady cry last time."

He blew out a breath.

"Yikes." he breathed.

I nodded ominously.

"And she made me cry too." I added. "Every. Time."

We looked at each other for a few moments and then we busted out laughing. Alice huffed.

"I am not that bad." She insisted. "And I have never made anyone cry."

I nodded to Edward when she turned her head away causing him to chuckle.

She shot us each a look.

"You don't have to help look for the dresses, Bella." She said snidely. "Just get the center pieces."

I shrugged.

"Alright, alright."

Edward stuck his tongue out at me and I narrowed my eyes at him.

Alice pointed to him, keeping one eye on the chess game.

"And you can help her, Edward."

It was my turn to stick my tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes.

"It would be my pleasure, Ali." He said, looking at her over his shoulder.

She nodded once.

"Besides, it's the least you can do Bella." She sniffed, looking hurt. I raised one eyebrow. What was that girl talking about now?

"After sneaking out on my bridal party."

My eyes widened and I looked at Edward quickly, praying he wouldn't say anything about who I was with when I had skipped out on the party. Rose had already given me crap about 'going on a date' with him, which I hadn't, when he saved me from Mike. If they got wind that I was with him again I'd never hear the end of it.

Jasper's eyes snapped up to meet mine, looking much more interested than he had been the entire conversation. One eyebrow raised as a smirk took over his face and he looked slowly from me to Edward. Yes, he had definitely realized that Edward had disappeared from his party.

"You didn't stick around for long, huh, Bells?" He asked, a sneaky grin on his face. "That's ironic."

"No it's not." I said quickly.

Alice frowned, looking between us with confusion.

"What's ironic?" She asked Jasper curiously.

He snickered.

"Well, you see Ed-"

"Because you ditched one of my parties that one time, remember?" I covered frantically.

I wish Edward would help me here but he was just standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, an amused look on his face- just enjoying the show.

"No." Alice shook her head slowly.

I nodded.

"Well, you did. A long time ago and then I cut out early for one of yours."

She frowned.

"I did?"

I nodded, without a doubt. Well, not without a doubt. There was some doubt but I was pretty sure she had ditched something once. Maybe.

She eyed me for a moment before shaking her head, crossing her arms over her chest.

"How is that ironic?" She asked, challenging.

"We were just talking about it earlier." I said nervously.

She frowned.

"We were not."

"Yes." I said quickly. "Well, not us." I corrected, pointing between me and Alice. "But me and Jasper were."

Lame. Lame. Lame. I know she wasn't going to fall for it. I wasn't even falling for it and I was the one spewing forth the crap.

"Fine, Ali." I sighed, waving her off. "I'll get the center pieces."

"White Calla Lillie's." She reminded me.

I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah."

I shot a look at Edward but he just grinned that little crooked grin at me. I wrinkled my nose. So there was only three weeks left of planning the wedding but now I had to do it with Edward. This was going to be... I couldn't even find a word for it. And I wasn't going to ask my shoulder angels either. I didn't even want to know what they thought about this situation.

"Isabella Marie Swan!" Emmett thundered, walking quickly into the living room. One could even go so far as to say he was storming into the room.

"Yes?" I said sweetly, looking at the red faced Emmett.

"Guess who just called me?" He demanded.

I looked at Edward and he shrugged. I looked back at Em.

"Uhm... your fairy god mother?"

He narrowed his eyes at me.

"No." he said stiffly. "Manuel."

I corked an eyebrow at him.

"He had seen my ad in the newspaper this morning and wondered if I was still looking for... a partner to share my life with."

"Do you mean a life partner?" Alice shrieked, wide eyed.

He nodded at her.

"You're gay?" I gasped.

He shook his head vehemently.

"That explains the ring tones." Edward said.

I nodded.

"You set the ring tones!"

"So, did he sound cute?" I asked in a giggly tone.

He was fuming.

"Rose, how do you feel about this new revaluation?" Edward asked.

She was looking between the three of us and finally her eyes landed on me. I raised one eyebrow, silently answering all her questions. She smirked, a truly frightening look for Rose.

"I thought you were bad." She said pointing to me. "But together you two are pure evil."

I put my hands to my chest, my eyes wide and innocent. She didn't look deceived.

"Next time I want in."

I chuckled, nodding. Add Rose and we could very possibly take over the world one day.

"Wait." Emmett said, confused. "Edward was in on this too?"

I waited to see what he'd say. Would he pin it all on me? Or would he want to take his share of the credit? I had him pegged as wanting Em to know he took part in it. He was in fact the master mind behind the plan.

"I placed the ad." He said in affirmation.

I grinned. I knew it.

Emmett lunged for him.

"Do you have any clue what it took to convince that guy I wasn't gay?" He demanded.

I snickered.

"Having him talk to your wife?" I guessed.

He stopped trying to choke Edward and his eyes slid back to me.

"Crap."

Rosalie laughed.

"He didn't have him talk to you did he?" I asked her. She shook her head, pressing her lips together tightly to keep from laughing harder.

"He named off the Forbes hottest models list alphabetically for the last three years."

I snickered.

"You need help." I told my slightly embarrassed friend.

He just shook his head.

"It is on." He said threateningly. "You and Eddie boy better watch your backs because it. is. on."

With him looking like that I found it hard not be just the slightest bit scared.

He grabbed Rosalie by the waist, pulling her to him.

"Dibs!" He called loudly. "Rosie is on my team."

She just rolled her eyes. Before anyone could say anything else Emmett's phone rang again, Barbie Girl going strong.

He looked down at the caller I.D before glaring at me and then Edward in turn.

"Hello?" He sounded scared to answer.

He listened to the caller for a moment before glaring at us again.

"No, there's been a mistake sir." He said calmly into the phone, his cheeks dusting pink.

"It is on!" he mouthed, walking to the other room where he could convince another applicant that he did in fact not like men... "like that." He sure had a way with words.

Edward and I looked at each other and laughed louder than I can remember laughing in a very long time.

"He's going to kill you both in your sleep." Rose warned us.

Probably. But it was all worth it to see Emmett blush.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I hope you liked it. I told you Emmett wasn't going to get off that easy. Now there's a prank war going on. And Edward has to help Bella with her maid of honor duties. Lots of bonding time for our 'not enemies.' lol. Let me know if you've got ideas for the pranks. It would be much appreciated.

Much love! Don't forget to review if you want the preview for the next chapter.