Thank you to my reviewers, Panckles, and all my previous ones. And also to the people on twitter who have shared with me their positive comments. They are so appreciated you have no idea! From now on I will be putting all my reviewers usernames before the chapters! You guys are my encouragement to write.
"Okay Katniss, this might be a little cold." My mother tells me as she rubs a clear gel onto my slightly protruding abdomen.
We are at the medical center to get my fifteen week ultrasound. It has been over a month since my mother has moved to 12. She settled in a mid-sized house a block from our home and has fit in quite nicely at the medical center. Ever since she was young, my mother had a pretty high status medically in district 12, and it became very clear that it had not faded. I lie in a white room that has many posters relating to pregnancy covering the bare walls. Some posters with tips and advice, others showing the baby at every stage up until birth. There are also multiple medical machines around the room. Peeta sits on a blue stool next to the ultrasound table that I lie on. He clutches my hand so tightly it almost hurts, however, I am nervous too so I let him hold on.
My mother begins to move a small silver wand on my stomach. Suddenly, a black and white image projects onto the wall in front of me. Since my last ultrasound, the baby has grown significantly. I can now make out a head and the beginnings of tiny arms and legs.
"And there's your baby." My mother says smiling down at me.
"How is the weight, and her fluid levels? Is the baby in the right position?" Peeta blurts out before I can even comment myself. I laugh a little and look up at him wondering how he knows all these things.
"What?" He questions. "I've been reading some baby books."
My mother smiles. "That's not a bad idea. Katniss, I'd encourage you to do the same."
At first, it seems kind of weird to me; reading a book with information about something my body is supposed to do naturally. But I agree because I trust my mothers opinion.
"Would you like to hear the heartbeat?" My mother asks.
"Yes!" Peeta hollers out.
Again, I can't help but smile at his eagerness, so I nod in agreement; excited about hearing my child's heart alive and beating inside me.
As my mother moves another wand on my abdomen, I can see that Peeta already has tears in his eyes. He gets emotional with anything involving our child. I squeeze his hand a little harder to let him know I am here.
After a few moments, I realize the room has gone silent as my mother continues to move the the wand.
"Where's the heart beat?" Peeta asks, concern washing over his face.
I turn to my mother in panic because I can tell Peeta believes we should have found the heart beat by now. My mother has the similar panicked look on her face but she is doing her best to hide it.
"What's wrong?" I demand.
Something comes over me and it takes everything in me not to run out of the room. The instinct to protect my unborn child at all costs sets in; to get away from all this medical equipment and doctors; to run to the woods, climb up to a tree perhaps, where nobody can hurt us.
"Sometimes...finding the heartbeat is difficult." My mother says. "However, it's rare it would take this long." She adds in a quiet tone, almost as to protect me from her words.
I can see the tears begin spilling over Peeta's cheeks. However, these are not happy tears. Peeta believes we have lost our baby. This clicks into my brain and I can feel my mind going dark. The idea of losing another child does not sit well in my mind. My chest becomes heavy and I think I might pass out. I know I can not do this again. I will not be able to bear losing a child who is dependent on me again. I turn to Peeta; for a moment, I try to stay strong for him. How could he lose his baby and wife all in one day?
"thump-thumpthump-thump-thumpthump."
The silent room fills with the sound of a strong and steady heart beat. I snap to reality at the beautiful sound.
By this point, my mother is smiling and wiping tears from her own cheeks. Usually, she never lets emotions interfere with her work, but I know she can not help the tears now. My lungs fill with air as I breath a huge sigh of relief. I turn to Peeta who has a steady stream of tears falling from his blue eyes; now these are happy tears. He clings to my hands with his and brings them to his lips and kisses them.
"You have a stubborn little one in there." My mother jokes continuing to move the wand.
"Just like their mother." Peeta says with a smile, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.
The relief of having a baby with a strong beating heart sets in. For a moment, I thought I lost it. However, it turns out this child in already showcasing traits it has inherited from me. I can't help but laugh through my tearing eyes.
"Thump-thumpthump-thump-thumpthump."
And now the tears fall onto my cheeks as the sound truly registers in my mind. I flash back to the cave, to the train, to the beach. I realize that I recognize this sound. It is a sound I learned to love many years ago.
"Peeta!" I blurt out. "It has your heartbeat."
I think back to all those times where that sound held to me the world; how it would soothe me to sleep on those nights where the nightmares seemed to threaten my rest; how I completely lost it in the jungle when I thought I would never hear that sound again; how grateful I was when it came back to me, or how lucky I am to listen to that sound every night. It is a sound that has given me hope for so many years, and here we are, hearing a sound that again, gives me so much hope. Such a strong and steady sound beats within me; a sound that could only resemble Peeta.
That night, Peeta sleeps soundly with his arm around my abdomen. I rest my head on top of his chest and listen to his heart beat; steady and strong.
"Thump-thumpthump-thump-thumpthump."
I rest my hand on my stomach as well, thinking of these two hearts beating in unison. It is clear that our child physically has a heart like Peeta's, but I can only hope it will have a heart emotionally like him as well.
When I wake the next morning, I realize that I didn't have one nightmare. I slept peacefully which has been rare ever since I became pregnant. I notice Peeta is not next to me, signifying he is already at the bakery. The new autumn sun is shining through our open bedroom window. I look at the clock and see that it is 8:39am. When I walk downstairs, I see Peeta has left me a plate of fresh fruit and breakfast cakes. He is making sure I am eating all of my recommended calories everyday. Sometimes I find it annoying, but I understand it is just another reminder of how much he loves me and our unborn child.
As I am finishing my breakfast, I realize that today is the day I want to tell many of my loved ones that we are expecting. I decide that after breakfast, I will walk down to the bakery to tell Peeta my idea. I change into some clothes, throw on my boots, and make my way towards the bakery.
At fifteen weeks pregnant, I am barely showing, however, this is the first time I notice that my pants do not fit quite right. I have on my favourite pair of pants that I often wear into the woods. They usually have plenty of room in them in order for me to move around while hunting, except right now, they are hugging my waist and upper thighs much tighter than usual. I realize that eventually, almost my entire wardrobe won't fit me.
When I reach the bakery door, I can tell it is buzzing with activity. People with happy faces greet me as they carry boxes of pastries and bread out the door.
"Good morning Katniss." Trinity hollers as she boxes up a customers order. Trinity has been working at the bakery for a couple months now. She's a young red-headed girl with bright green eyes; probably only eighteen or nineteen. Peeta hired her as summer help, but she seemed to fit right in, and he couldn't let her go. She is an aspiring baker, so Peeta has been giving her some baking tasks here and there to show her the ropes.
"Good morning." I reply. "Is Peeta around?"
"Yes! He's in the back with Thom.
"Perfect." I say as I make my way around to the baking room.
Thom was hired many years back when Peeta came to terms with the fact that he could not run the whole bakery on his own. Thom was one of Gale's good friends from the mines. He was one of the volunteers to carry Gale after he was whipped and one of the very few to make it to 13. His family was incredibly poor; much like mine was, but it turns out, Thom is a fantastic baker. He just never had the opportunities to display his skills.
"Katniss!" Peeta exclaims. "You're just in time." He races over to me and grabs my hand leading me to decorating table. It is cover with baking ingredients and different bowls of frosting.
"We are having a bit of a dilemma." Thom says.
"We can't seem to agree on an icing flavor for the new red velvet cupcakes." adds Peeta.
I had only had the red velvet cake twice because it was one of Peeta's brand new creations, but it had already become one of my favourites. Truthfully, I found them similar in tasting to chocolate cake, yet their deep red appearance makes them so much more attractive.
"So, its up to you to break the argument; cream cheese or butter-cream?"
Peeta feeds me a bite of red cake with white butter-cream frosting on it. I immediately fall in love with it; thinking that there could never be a better combination.
"How does the baby like that?" Peeta asks smiling.
"I think the baby will be quite happy with that one." I reply.
"Told you she'd like it!" Peeta says proudly to Thom.
"Okay, now the cream cheese." Thom interrupts handing me a spoon filled with red cake and a cream colored icing.
I take the bite and realize that I was wrong; there could be a better combination. My eyes widen in delight.
"This is the winner!" I say wiping the crumbs off of my face.
"HA!" Thom exclaims, clapping his hands near Peeta's face.
Peeta lets out a gasp. "My own wife!" He kids.
"Sorry, but you asked for my opinion." I reply wrapping my arms around his waist. Peeta places a light kiss on my temple.
"Okay, I'm out of here." Thom says awkwardly dashing to the store front with Trinity.
Peeta and I both laugh. I watch as he fills an icing bag with the cream cheese icing I loved. He pipes an ivory coloured rose on top of the red cupcake.
"So, what do you think?" He questions.
I stare at the cupcake for a moment "Honestly...it needs something."
Peeta chuckles to himself for a minute. "And what do you suppose that'd be?"
"Some colour maybe?" I reply.
Peeta sets the bag down on the counter and stares at the ceiling. I can tell he is thinking hard about this. Then suddenly, I watch as he scoots quickly around the room. He grabs more icing bags and a box filled with bright coloured liquids. He fills one bag with icing and grabs a bottle of blue liquid, carefully putting a few drops into the bag. He mixes it quickly and I watch the ivory icing turn into a light blue colour. Then, he grabs the second bag and does the same thing as before except with a red liquid. I watch again as he mixes the bag and it turns into a pretty soft pink. Finally he ices about a dozen baby-coloured red velvet cupcakes.
"Better?" He asks.
"Very cute." I respond "But what are we going to do with all these?"
"Why don't we sell them... I can call them Katniss' pregnancy craves." He says. "We can change the pastry for whatever you are craving at the time."
"I don't know about this Peeta." I say, hesitant about his idea.
"Why not?" He continues. "I always have expectant mothers coming into the bakery looking for a sweet treat. Now we could have something to recommend especially for them."
Peeta's words spin inside my head. I am not sure if I am ready for the whole district to know about my pregnancy. But then I remember, the reason that I came to see Peeta in the first place was to tell him I was planning on telling some of our friends I was pregnant. It also hits me that in a few weeks, people will be speculating anyways due to my growing abdomen if they haven't been already. I suppose that telling people in this cute, fun way would be better then all the speculation.
"Well, I was planning to come here to tell you that I am going to call some of our friends to tell them I am pregnant anyways." I say.
"Perfect!" Peeta replies
"You promise to bring me home a ton of samples so I can choose the new cravings?" I say wrapping my arms around Peeta's neck.
I feel Peeta's hands grip my waste and he brings his body closer to mine, pressing his lips to my ear. My body shivers as I feel his warm breath against my skin.
"Absolutely." He whispers.
Peeta gently kisses the line of my jaw leading to my lips. His lips capture mine and I allow my body to rest against his, his strong arms stabling me. We stand there kissing each other. I run my fingers through his blond hair then down his arms and back.
I start to feel that thing again; that hunger that only Peeta can bring out of me. Peeta lifts me up and I am sitting on the counter not parting his lips from my own, and then, just like the time on the beach, we are interrupted.
"Peeta!" Trinity hollers. "We need your help out here."
Peeta sighs as he pulls his mouth away from mine. I can tell he is annoyed and does not have any desire to leave me and this oven room.
"It's okay." I tell him. "I have calls to make...and you have pregnancy cupcakes to sell."
I hop off the counter and place a gentle kiss on his cheek. Then, I grab his hand and lead him out to the front. The line of customers is out the door, so I get the signal that this is my time to go. I say a quick goodbye to Thom and Trinity and make my way through the line of people.
When I round the corner for home, I see Haymitch in his front yard. He is throwing feed into the air attempting to feed the geese. When I get closer, I see he is nursing a bottle of liquor, so I don't bother stopping to talk to a drunken Haymitch. Instead, I walk inside and head for the phone.
When I sit down and dial the telephone, I surprise myself when I dial Gale's number first. I think it is because Gale and his wife Lila already have four children. Alton, who is the oldest and only boy is ten, Luna is seven, Chessa five, and Willow two. I think about how Gale will understand my fear and excitement about this because he has already done this four times.
"Hello?" Says a perky female voice on the other line.
"Lila! Hi, it's Katniss." I reply
"Katniss! How weird, we were just about to call you." she says. "We have some great news."
"So do we." I add smiling to myself.
"Oh that's wonderful, but I'll let you talk to Gale, he's right here."
"Thanks Lila!"
I am grateful for Lila; she understands my relationship with Gale. She see's how we are only friends, but that we still need each other. If we lived closer, I imagine Lila and I would be great friends, but even on our yearly trip to two, it's almost like we were never apart. After a moment, I hear Lila pass the phone to Gale.
"Hey Catnip."
Even after all these years he still insists on calling me that. I tried to convince him that perhaps we are a little too old for such nicknames, but I guess old habits die hard. Plus, if I am honest with myself, I don't really mind it. It takes me back in time, to a period that seemed much simpler; back to the world where I would spend hours of my day, concealed in the trees; just Gale and I. I think about how during my games, I would have done just about anything to have that life back, and now I would never want to live in a world like that ever again; how horrific it all truly was.
"Hey Gale...how are you?" I ask.
"Oh you know, pretty good, but I hear you have some news?" asks Gale.
I take a deep breath and lean against the wall, preparing to tell my childhood best friend, that I am pregnant.
"Yeah I do actually." I begin to say. I think about when I told Haymitch I was pregnant and how long it took me to get over my fear. But I don't have anything to be afraid of, so I decide not to let my fears control me again.
"I'm pregnant; Peeta and I are expecting." I say, smiling to myself because it feels so good to be able to say that.
For a while, there is silence as Gale must be processing what he just heard.
"Katniss I am so happy for you; for you and Peeta" He begins. "I know this might be hard for you, but I am telling you nothing in this world is better than holding your newborn child. I can't wait for you to feel that."
I smile again at his words.
"So...how'd he do it?" Gale asks.
"Excuse me?" I reply, rather confused and appalled by his question.
"How'd he convince you I mean?" Gale chuckles.
"Oh!" I laugh as well. "I don't know to be honest, he just.."
"Has an outstanding way with words? It'd be really hard to tell him no, I imagine." Gale says, filling in my sentence.
"You have no idea...but after awhile, I realized I wanted this too." I tell him.
There is another pause in our conversation. I can hear Gale breathing on the other line.
"You really love him." He says in a steady tone.
I am confused at first because Gale and I don't usually discuss our present love lives. But despite everything, I trust Gale; I always have and always will.
"Yeah." I reply. "I really do."
For some odd reason, right at this moment, Finnick Odair pops into my mind. "No, she crept up on me." He once told me this, many year ago when I asked him if he loved Annie right away. Back then, it didn't mean as much to me, but now I realize just how much I understand his words. I realize how similar our relationships are. Two broken people slowly coming together simply because they love each other; how they have a bond that no two others have. I learned that from my friend Finnick Odair. So now, when someone asks if I love Peeta I can tell them; I really do.
I snap myself back to reality when I realize I still have Gale on the phone.
"Peeta and I have some catching up to do if we want to compete with you and Lila though." I say in a joking manner.
"Yeah, about that..." Gale begins. "Lila's pregnant again too. I was just about to call you when the phone rang...so it looks like you guys have a ways to go."
I laugh because despite how happy I am, I know Peeta and I will never have five children. But Gale comes from a family with four children and Lila had six in her family, so I am really not surprised.
"No, I think you got us beat." I say. "Congratulations Gale, and tell Lila I said congrats too."
"Will do!" He tells me. "But I have to go to work. I'll talk to you soon Catnip.
"Sounds good. Bye Gale."
I hang up the phone and breath a sign of relief. Not only are Gale and Lila happy for us, they will be tackling this journey while we are. Even though they have done it multiple times before, I am thankful to have Lila to call if I feel the need to talk to another female who is going through exactly what I am.
The next two people I call are Effie and Annie. Effie breaks down into tears the moment I tell her. She immediately begins to tell me how thrilled she is for us, making sure to tell me she will be coming to twelve as soon as she can. When I tell Annie, she too cries at the news. Not as hard as Effie, but I can tell it chokes her up.
"Finnick would be so happy for you two." She tells me.
At the thought of Finnick Odair for the second time today, I begin crying now too. I find myself wishing he was here to see my child; here to see his own child. Annie and I stay on the phone together until we are both calmed down. We promise each other to visit soon because after this conversation, all I really want to do is hug Annie and Finn.
I call Johanna next. She too lives in district 4 now. She moved there maybe ten years ago to help Annie in raising Finn. Johanna has managed to find herself a lover now too. His name is Ren and they have been together for a few years now. A marriage may be a long shot for Johanna Mason, but I am happy she found someone. He is a lot like her, perhaps not as intense, but she needed someone to match her fierce attitude. Ren is also incredibly tall; about the same height and width as Gale, which isn't surprising because I know she always had her eye on him. However, Ren has the sandy blonde hair that Finnick had; a popular trait for people from 4. Her reaction may have not been as emotional, but I could tell she was happy for us.
I make a few more calls and then hang up the phone. I don't bother telling anyone in the district because Peeta's cupcakes will do that on their own. So instead, I walk over to the fireplace and cuddle up with a warm blanket. Then I pick up a 500 page baby book, and begin my reading.
I really hope you guys enjoyed this one because I got emotional just writing it! Anyways I am back to school now so I do not have as much time to write so bare with me during this time! I did pre-write A LOT in the summer so I think we will be okay. Please take the time to review this and tell me what you are hoping to see next! Follow me on twitter for updates- TributeGirlEmma I post sneak peeks to upcoming chapters on twitter! and as always thanks to my friend Carlie who stepped up to be my beta!