A few months ago all I wanted was for you to notice me standing by your side. Your eyes had turned into a dark shade of blue and I could no longer read them. Every time I tried to talk to you I felt like I was skating on thin ice. Your eyes were like daggers stabbing me in the chest and your words were cold and filled with anger.

I was there because I loved you. I still love you. You really are the love of my life. And even after you cheated on me I don't know if I would give up on that. I found you when I least expected. I wasn't ready to love again but I found myself falling in love with you.

I'm afraid I might forgive you someday. I should never forgive you. But I love you and I felt the need to tell you that. I wanted nothing more than hug you when you told me about everything that happened in those woods. Why now? Why did you have to cheat on me to realize you could've trusted me?

I remember all those times I used to look at you after the plane crash. I was so glad you were home with me and Sofia. I wanted to fix you so bad; not only your leg but also your soul. You're still broken. You're not the girl who kissed me in a dirty bathroom. You're not even the girl who broke up with me in the middle of an airport.

The human being is complicated but I can live with that. And love is like a bridge; you need to take a leap of faith. But you're not crossing that bridge to find somebody waiting for you on the other side. You're crossing it while holding someone's hand. That's the meaning of true love, you're never alone anymore. You'll always have someone by your side, someone with whom you can talk about everything. We used to be like that.

You're still the most stunning woman I've ever met. Not because of your eyes, your dimples or even your blonde hair. You made me feel better about myself every day we spent together. Not everybody can do that. I couldn't do that and maybe that's why you cheated on me. But the more I think about it, the more I know it wasn't my fault at all. It wasn't my fault that I was a newborn, it wasn't my fault that you didn't believe I was willing to leave everything behind to go with you to Africa. That's how much I loved you.

I would still trade places with you. If I had the chance I would go in that plane instead of you. I don't know how I would've reacted to losing a limb but I would've never cheated on you. You've never been on this side; you don't know how it hurts. You knew this had happened to me before, you knew this would hurt me like hell but you still did it. You're not a bad person, you just made a mistake. But it wasn't any mistake. You lied to yourself by saying everything was okay and that you were fine. I didn't push you. I just waited for you.

"Please don't run. It's all been awful and I've been awful, but I'm starting to feel like myself again."

I never thought about you as anything other than "awesome". You were mad at everything but I understood that. But now you really were awful and if this is your new self, I can't even begin to think about the possibility of forgiving you.