She told herself that she shouldn't think of the man, shouldn't pay it any attention after she left his cell. He'd told her not to come back for good reason and she should honor his request. But it wasn't as easy as that. She couldn't stand the sounds of the screams that came from the dungeon. Cleaning the blood off the leather aprons he brought her made her stomach churn. And she couldn't live with his painful groaning night after night even when he was in rest. It only made her think of her small cell as comfortable and kind. And she refused to ever give in to such a crazy notion! He wasn't kind to give her a cell, it was terrible.
And it only made thinking about what he was doing to the thief even worse. From somewhere deep down she wondered if it was all part of another plan to scare her, to give her a taste of her own future. Because every time she heard him now, she couldn't help but wonder if her imprisonment would eventually include torture as well, if it would have had the thief not sent her out of the cell when he did and asked her not to return. Would it have been her screams echoing through these halls? Was he really this bloodthirsty?
She shook her head, upset with herself. A man was suffering and all she could do was be glad that it wasn't her! To make matters worse, she realized that she had possibly for the first time since she arrived here slept soundly through the night, her head placed upon the pillow he had given her. The only good thing that came from that the next morning was that she felt rested and clear-headed. She felt stronger, more capable of fighting rather than rolling over and just letting him walk all over her, or the man downstairs even. The windows were still open, his precious wheel still out of place, the chaise she'd found still in the corner. Frankly, with the way he was acting, the way that he was treating the man, she wasn't in a hurry to put things back the way that he wanted. Although she couldn't say that it wasn't on her list of things to do in the next couple of days.
He hadn't noticed yet, but she knew it was only a matter of time until he lost interest and let the man go. She might not have known how violent he was before, what he was capable of, but now that she knew it wasn't outside the realm of possibility, she didn't want to be the next victim on his list once the thief was gone, just because she hadn't moved the wheel and closed the curtains to the outside world. She had come to the conclusion, that on the day that he decided he would torture her this way she wouldn't go down without a fight. She'd run, she'd kick, she'd scream, she would do anything to get away, knowing full well that at the end of the day it was useless. Her protests would display her detestation just fine. But for now he was occupied, for now she was safe. And that thought alone induced more guilt in her than anything else she'd ever done. Including the day she let Anna die.
Another scream echoed up from the dungeons.
She kept sweeping, trying not to focus too much on it. Her entire life she had believed that no one was truly evil. Everyone, she firmly believed, had a little bit of good and a little bit of bad in them. But as another scream rose to her ears she found herself doubting that assumption. She wished it would end. Whatever he was trying to find out, obviously the man wasn't going to tell him or he didn't know. He should have let him go ages ago, not prolonged his release like this!
Suddenly he appeared in the door and she felt her grip tighten on the broom in anger as she tried to look busy, like what was going on didn't affect her. She hadn't prompted the man to steal, she hadn't ordered him to be tortured. She should worry about her own health, the way the thief wanted her to, and the best way to do that was to do her job. "I'm going to need another apron," he said sounding tired. Good, maybe he would give the man a break. He tossed gloves upon the table she had just cleaned and would now have to clean again and she cleared her throat pretending that she wasn't thinking about how terrible and inconsiderate he was.
"They're, uh..." she winced to see the wet red blood smears on the leather apron he was wearing now, "they're on the line." What exactly was he doing to him down there? "Drying," she added. "It'll be some time." Maybe time enough for the man to recover, or for his rage to cool. Maybe enough time for him to realize how useless and cruel this was. Enough time for him to come to his senses, assuming he had any.
"Fine, fine," he said quickly removing the blood stained apron. "Get to cleaning this one as well," he said tossing it on the table next to the gloves and rubbing salt into her wounds. So much for a clean table. "I'll be back later," she grit her teeth together as he strode away looking to leave the room. Something in her broke. She could handle a lot. She could take orders, deal with his inconsiderateness, but when they were coupled by the screams of a good person locked away in a dungeon being tortured every time she managed to clean an apron her temper flared.
"All this," she called after him in a stern voice, "because he tried to steal a magic wand?" she asked, hoping against hope that he would see senselessness in it all.
"No, because he tried to steal from me!" he yelled, turning on his heel and finally looking her in the eye. "The Dark One. You try that you get skinned alive. Everyone knows that," he stated. She should feel disgusted, her stomach should be turning, but knowing that was what was happening in that dungeon she felt more than her anger burst to life once more sparked by the little bit of courage she felt she had.
"Actually," she told him clearly and confidently, the smallest hint of defiance in her voice, "no, they don't." She wouldn't appear weak. Not to him. If he was going to torture her as well, then so be it, but someone had to stand up for this man.
He stared at her for a while. There was a look of shock on his face, like no one had ever dared to speak back to him in that way before. It looked like the surprise from that small fact had thrown him for a loop, he hadn't been expecting that at all. Maybe it was the first time someone had yelled back at him. Nevertheless he seemed to recover quickly enough. "Well they will after they discover the body!" And with a final giggle he left the room.
This time her stomach knotted into a ball so tight it hurt. She'd been blind, stupid. She'd let her assumptions get in the way of seeing reality. She wasn't afraid of him, and although the thought that he might hurt her was now in her head, she hadn't always thought that way. She'd never thought that he would murder her and because of that she'd been simply assuming that he would treat the man the same way. That he would torture him until he had his fill and then release him however maimed and scarred he might be. But she was wrong. He wasn't going to stop. He wasn't going to set him free. He was going to kill him. That was the only way that this would end in his mind.
Here she was again. Standing on that cliff, the choice then had been her, her memories, or Anna's life. Now it was her again, her life, her health, her sanity...or the thief's life. How would this end? It wasn't a choice, not this time. She wouldn't make the same mistake twice. The desire for justice, proper justice, stirred within her. She was done with this, with sitting idly aside and waiting for it to happen. She couldn't bear it. She wouldn't! She already felt too guilty about how long she'd allowed it to go on in the first place. There was no way that he was going to let the man pay for this attempted slight with his life. And if he was going to torture her, if he was going to kill her, then at least one of them would have the chance to make it out alive.
Before her courage or her determination fled she ran down to the kitchen, happy that she appeared to at least have her common sense. After everything that he'd been through, she knew, he wouldn't make it very far if he was weak. Rumpelstiltskin provided all of the food she cooked last minute, but she could at least give the man a little bit of water to strengthen him. She just hoped he had the sense not to stay anywhere near here after this. He would have to get as far away as he possible could, as fast as he could.
She opened the door and glanced in, her jaw dropping at the sight. It appeared that Rumpelstiltskin hadn't found that chain that changed his appearance and the dark haired version of his face caught her eye right away. He was worse than she'd last seen him. He was suspended by chains bound to his wrists in the middle of the room, he looked exhausted and broken, and there was blood pouring from his mouth into his beard. His skin looked intact but she wasn't positive if that had been a joke or not. The man managed to swing his body over expertly so that he could look at her. He laughed weakly while she followed the chains and the rope attached to them over to the wall. She could do this. It would be easy enough. She could free him. "Did he send you to finish the job?" he asked with a laugh in his voice.
"Ah, no!" she cried, realizing that she'd been staring. She wasn't sure what that statement meant, or why he'd think it. Delirium maybe? But she suddenly remembered that she was here for a reason, and there was no time to lose...or think about what he was saying. "No!" she insisted moving toward him, hoping he remembered her a little bit, that she'd brought him food before and was a good person. She hoped the drink would help. "Here," she held the cup up to his bloody lips "drink this." He lunged forward as much as he could graciously taking the gift she was offering him. Once he pulled back she looked over her shoulder at the device on the wall holding him up. She hoped it was as simple as it looked. "I couldn't let this continue," she explained, setting the cup down and giving the wheel her full attention. "It's inhuman," she commented more to herself than to him but he gave a grateful laugh at her.
"I couldn't agree more," he said with a smile as she began untangling his bonds. "But I fear now he'll turn his rage upon you," he pointed out. Maybe he hadn't forgotten their conversation then, maybe he wasn't as delirious as she thought.
"If he does I'll stand up to the beast that he is," she said confidently, knowing that the words were true. She wouldn't go without a fight, and she wasn't going to let him die without a fighting chance as well. They were alike the two of them, one of them deserved to be out in the world, and if she couldn't leave, then he could. "Because no one..." the bonds slipped from her grasp finally lose enough to let him free. He fell to the floor, too weak to catch himself, and she rushed to his aid. "No one deserves to be tortured!" Not him. Not her. Not when they hadn't committed any evil crime.
"Well, he may beg to differ," he commented as she worked on freeing his wrists from the shackles.
"Well, I don't care," she muttered finding that too was true. She hated the things that he did, what he had done to this man, and the magic that he used. She'd let her tired mind and the sounds of torture cloud her instincts, but underneath it all she found that the original thought was still there. He wouldn't hurt her. She just had to trust her original instinct and not her fear. "He doesn't frighten me," she explained, making sure that she had managed to free him completely. She only hoped he was strong enough to go on from here without her. "Hurry up," she ordered "he'll be back soon." Or later. She had no idea when he would return but she knew that he needed time to be on his way, time to put distance between them. She'd clean up the mess here but this would all be useless if he reentered the castle only to find her escorting him out. "Hurry," she insisted harshly, helping him to his feet. He ran for the door, stumbling and limping, but sturdy enough to get to safety.
He stopped and supported his weight against the door, then unexpectedly turned back to face her. "But he will," he warned feverishly. "He will kill you," he said clearly even through his labored breathing. "Unless..." he took a deep gulping breath and she looked around him nervously. Why wasn't he going? Why was he wasting time? Who knew when Rumpelstiltskin would get back? He needed to go now! "Unless you run away with me," her heart fell. He was a good man. She had known it all along. He was simply looking out for her. Looking out for the woman who had kept his secret and brought him food, who had freed him. Did that make her his hero? Is that how he would remember her?
The offer was tempting, but impossible. Besides the fact that she was trapped in the castle, if she left, what would become of her village then? The greatest revenge he could take back on her would be to undo the deal they had made. Their safety for her compliance. She didn't want to think about what he might be willing to do if she left. "I can't run," she answered shaking her head at the man, telling him what she should have the first time they'd talked, when he'd stated that he knew there was more to her. "I made a deal to serve him in exchange for him protecting my kingdom and my family from the ogres," she explained, "if I were to leave I may survive but my family surely won't."
His eyes widened like he was overwhelmed with the information. She'd already given him her name and mentioned Avonlea and now the ogres, for all she knew he might have just put together who she really was. But he appeared to understand. There was no way out for her, no option, no hope. In his mind, her fate was sealed and he was leaving her behind to die. "Well then, all I can do is wish you luck," he muttered, and she could see that he was truly sorry that he could do nothing to help her out of this situation.
"Thank you," she said, feeling like she didn't need the luck. After all she had seen, all she'd heard, all he'd done, she still had a feeling deep down in her gut that he wouldn't hurt her. She just needed to remember that, to be confident in that feeling. But she knew that he wouldn't hesitate to harm this man. He had to leave, and he had to go now before it was too late. "Now go," she pushed him onward, "go!" He raced from the room and she peered around the corner watching him go. This time she'd made the right choice. This time she'd done all she could, the rest was up to him now. It wasn't much but at least she had given him a fighting chance at making it out alive.
Another wonderful and splendid chapter that I didn't need to do much for! It pretty much is exactly what we get on the show and I love it when that happens!
Thank you for your reviews Alarda, Katido, BreathingintheSun, and Skitzoeinhoven I'm always happy to know that the chapters I add in are liked and that they make sense to the rest of the world and not just to me. Of ourse I always especially love to hear that my theories have more weight than A&E's story lines. That's just icing on the cake if you ask me! Peace and Happy Reading friends!