Damaged

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

The sound of the heart monitor was uncommonly loud in hospital room in which the Tracy family was gathered in the presence of their unconscious loved one. Alan's question had caught Jeff slightly off guard. He tried his best to make eye-contact with his sons, but his chest felt like it was going to explode and his throat was so thick he didn't think he could speak.

"She's," his voice cracked, he wasn't ready to say this out loud but they needed to know the truth. Eyes stinging, Jeff cleared his throat continued, "She… didn't make it."

Looking up to gauge the expressions of his sons he was met with confused faces, and this broke his heart.

"What do you mean, father?" Asked Scott, "I don't understand."

Taking a deep breath, Jeff tried to make it clear once and for all how their lives had now changed forever, "She's dead, Scott; she died in the avalanche, only Virgil survived." He couldn't stop it, tears dripped down his face and all of a sudden the situation became very real for the brothers. Scott took a deep breath and covered his mouth while tears began to brim in his eyes. How could it have happened so fast? They had only last seen her a few days ago and even then she was alive and well. They had always believed both her and Virgil had survived together, but now it was apparent that it wasn't the case. Every single one of them in that room felt absolute despair as the news sunk in.

They would never see their mother again.

They would never see her smile or her laugh, or even the way she always used to tie her hair up when she painted.

And then they realised, "Oh God," Scott managed to choke out, "Virgil."

He couldn't believe they had forgotten about Virgil.

"Where was he?" Scott whispered, he desperately wanted his theory to be false but the look on their father's face said volumes.

"He was found with her," Jeff could still feel the tightness in chest that he now recognised as a painful absence, "He was there where she died. He couldn't get out. The rescue team had to dig a hole in the side of the cabin to get him out."

Now everyone looked silently at the still unconscious Virgil as they all moved closer to his bedside. They all tried to see any trace of this incredible suffering in his gaunt face, but it was still while he breathed through the oxygen mask the doctors had put on him. Every brother could hear the laboured breathing that their father had been listening to for the last couple of hours and it shook them to the core. Now, all of them were reluctantly trying to imagine what it was like for him during the span of those three terrible days.

All of a sudden, they all noticed the fluttering of Virgil's eyelids as he tried to open them. Sharing an anxious look with each other, they didn't dare say a word, hoping that he wouldn't go back to sleep.

…

The first thing Virgil heard was a steady beep, beep, beep, beep. What could that be? His sense of smell then started to process a strong smell of disinfectant. That was strange, the cabin usually smelled of hard wood and good cooking. When he tried to open his eyes, he observed a glimpse of something blurry and white. Wait. He wasn't in the cabin. Suddenly everything came flooding back to him; the cold, the traumatic death of his mother and the strange conversation with his doppelganger. He sat up abruptly, immediately regretful when his head felt like it had imploded. He hissed in pain, vaguely hearing the beeping go haywire. His eyes could barely bring anything into focus but he felt compelled to try and escape; he frantically fumbled to remove the oxygen mask and wires that he was attached to and leave. He wanted to leave all of this behind and not have to deal with any of this pain. It tore away at his chest and pounded at his skull. He could vaguely recognise some people standing around him.

"Virgil?" Someone asked; it was clear that they were concerned. When Virgil's eyes came into focus he saw that it was Scott. Oh no. If Scott was there, then… He looked around wildly and saw the rest of his family. His breathing became faster as he thought about the torment they were going through because of him. All because of him. He tried to run away, but his legs failed him and he fell into Scott's arms. No; he didn't deserve anyone's help. It was all his fault. It was all his fault. It was all his fault.

He gradually sunk to the floor in despair, and he could still feel Scott's warm presence beside him as he touched the cold white floor. Curling into a ball and touching his head to the surface he began to cry. He hated this, he didn't want to cry. A mumbling of voices made its way to his ears, but he couldn't bring himself to understand what they were saying. Then he was aware he was being carefully lifted up and was set back down on the soft hospital bed almost like a child. When he opened his eyes, he could see a blurry ceiling through his tears, as if he was looking through a window on a rainy day; he was physically in the hospital room, but he was mentally locked away within the confines of his mind. The self-inflicted verbal abuse in his mind floated around him: Stupid. Idiot. Senseless. Irresponsible. Appalling. Despicable. Dirty.

A failure.

…

Gordon didn't know what to think. He had never seen anyone, let alone Virgil act that way; he must have been remembering the time when he saw mother… He couldn't think the word without crying. It was just impossible, their amazing and funny mum was… He still couldn't think it. No matter how hard he tried, even now couldn't help but feel a hole in his chest where he felt joy and happiness should be. They were all ushered out of the room when the doctors arrived; they had apparently seen the heart monitor warning go off. They were now with a female doctor in one of the family rooms at the hospital, and she was trying to explain to them what Virgil would be be going through.

"Due to the amount of psychological trauma he has experienced during these three days, we must assume that it will take a while for him to get back to normal. That is assuming that he can, or course."

"What do you mean 'assuming he can get back to normal'?" Jeff questioned, a subtle hostility in his voice.

"Well," the doctor began slowly, "victims of psychological trauma, especially those that have survived natural disasters, experience that trauma for a long period of time, perhaps even years after the actual incident."

The family stared at her with open mouths. Years? Gordon thought, that's really scary. How was he supposed to play or even talk with Virgil, when every time he would try, he would be afraid he would break him.

"Because of this we really need to get him into therapy as soon as possible, I'm sure you understand."

Jeff was taken aback only for a moment, "Y-yes. Of course. I understand completely."

The doctor made a move to make her way to wherever it was she needed to be, but then she stopped, "I'm… I'm sorry for your loss. All of you." She gave a small smile and walked away. The Tracy family stood there staring at the floor while lost in their thoughts.

…

AN: I hope your heart didn't break too much T-T

Edit: Unfortunately, due to upcoming exams that I have to make time to study for, this story will be on hiatus until late June early July 2017. In the mean time, if you want to read more Thunderbirds fan fiction, I suggest you read tenjounotora's stories, especially what they have for their 'Even the Strongest Fall' series, as well as the Butterflies trilogy written by the amazing ArtistcRainey.

Please leave a review telling me what you think. Thanks :)