Author's Note: [Looks around] Yeah, so I can't believe it's been two months. I am so sorry to leave y'all hanging like that. Some of you might know that I needed a little break from this story so we parted ways for awhile, but I have been working in earnest to give you something. And here it is! Life has gotten a little hectic lately so it might be a little while before I update again, but this story is on the front burner for now. Enjoy :)
"Hey, what are you doing here?" It had been quite some time since Sookie had seen Jessica this close up. Sure, they worked in the same restaurant, but it was very rare that they worked the same shift. If she knew Jessica was working the shift after hers she made sure that she was gone before sunset. It wasn't as if she didn't like Jessica, to a degree they had even become friends, but she was a constant, painful reminder of Bill and it just hurt too badly to have to look her in the eyes and pretend everything was all right.
The effusive redhead held her hand up sharply, much quicker than the human eye could follow, to display a diamond on her ring finger. "Hoyt proposed!" She squealed in delight and reached out to embrace Sookie. Young still, Jessica had not yet acclimated to the ways of vampires, clinging to her human impulses such as hugs. Sookie supposed that this was part of the reason she liked Jessica so much.
"Congratulations," Sookie said. She was slightly confused, but felt genuinely happy for Jessica. "Shouldn't you go tell Bill?" It wasn't that she was trying to get rid of her, but Pam was paying her good money to keep Eric's location under wraps and inviting Jessica in to witness his current state would hardly be earning her a bonus. She was all too painfully aware that she had no idea where Eric was lurking at that exact point in time and she only hoped he had the good sense not to be discovered.
Jessica pulled back and gave her a puzzled look. Slowly that look turned to one of pity and she reached out one of her thin, cold hands and placed it on Sookie's arm. "Bill has been gone for months. I thought you knew."
"Gone?" Everything around Sookie slowly faded into haze. She couldn't focus on Jessica or where Eric might be hidden. She knew that part of her shouldn't care, but she couldn't help herself. Had she driven Bill off so easily? Was he all right? "Do you know where he is?"
"Um, not really. He came home one night and said you had ended things and he needed to get away. He was in a hurry. It was all very strange because I had just told him I was not ready to be alone, I thought we had come to some child-maker understanding, but all of a sudden he was just leaving."
Sookie felt the color drain out of her face and she stumbled backwards blindly to the couch. Her couch, her fortress of safety where she had, for so many months, sought the solace of its soft confines. She liked the way it seemed to embrace her body, as if it knew she needed to be nestled, almost swallowed, by its cushions to escape the horrors of real life. For days now that feeling of needing her place of refuge had been gone, but now it was back, roaring through her ears blocking out all the sharp corners of reality.
It occurred to her that perhaps the queen had not taken kindly to Bill's failure to procure her. She wasn't certain why she suddenly felt so very cold, but she couldn't help shake the feeling that Bill's absence was the sign of something horrible to come. Or someone. A dull ache drew her attention towards her hands and she looked down to see what was causing the sensation. With a detached fascination she saw that she had pierced through her own skin with her nails while clenching her hands into fists. Small, half moon impressions dotted along her palms. The tiny beads of blood forming at the wounds just hung there, heavy and thick, almost fake looking and perhaps if she had not had such extensive first hand experience of blood she would have doubted that it was real at all. Unfortunately she knew all too well that it looked exactly as it should, though that didn't prompt her to do anything about it as she continued to weave in and out of the present.
"Maybe you could come by tomorrow, Jessica? I'm not feeling so good right now." Her voice was shaking and distant. She knew Jessica was aware of the blood before she had even been and she wondered if she was gaining control over herself since she had not heard the click of fangs running out.
"Are you sure you are okay, Sookie? I could stay or something." Though Jessica did not sound as if she wanted to stay. Actually, at that moment, she sounded as if she could not get away fast enough. Whether it was the emotions or the blood Sookie was unsure, but really it didn't matter. She wanted to be alone to process the information she had just received and that wasn't going to happen with Jessica standing in her doorway lusting over her blood.
"No, I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Okay. Goodnight." Jessica smiled sadly and gently shut the door behind her.
The second the lock clicked in the door Eric was kneeling by her side, gathering her up in his arms. Neither of them spoke as he gently rocked her back and forth, rubbing small soothing circles on her back. Slowly she came to and put a stop to their constant rocking with a hand on Eric's face. Her small fingers tentatively traced lines across his jaw, his cheekbones, his lips. She memorized his face with tiny, feather-light strokes as he stared stone-faced into her eyes. Before she could register her actions she leaned forward and captured Eric's lips with her own. He didn't react as she slowly urged her mouth against his, her fingers weaving themselves into his hair pulling his face closer, trying to incite a reaction. As her actions grew more desperate her eyes snapped open and she pulled away abruptly.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled as she scooted back on the couch away from Eric's advancements.
"Don't be," he growled and grabbed her hips firmly trapping her in place.
"I don't know what came over me," she whispered and tried to hide her face with her hands. A fierce blush was blazing down her neck and she could feel the warmth through her own hands. Eric reached up removing her hands from her face, guiding them down to the couch and holding them down behind her so that she was leaning back and fully exposed to him.
He bent down to her neck and inhaled deeply causing Sookie to shiver under him. She gasped sharply as his teeth grazed her neck.
"You are afraid of me," he mused into her neck.
She swallowed hard unsure of what was the right answer. It wasn't really that she was afraid of Eric, it was more she was surprised at her own actions and while she may have been able to predict how the old Eric would have reacted to her rash actions she really had no gauge on the man before her. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words just caught in her throat.
"Uh. No, I, uh…"
He pulled back from her at that moment and took her tiny hands in his. He spread her fingers apart and without hesitation began licking at her wounds. His tongue lapped lazily at the mostly closed cuts sending shivers down her spine. He moaned almost imperceptibly and she momentarily lost herself in the feel of his slightly rough tongue tasting her skin. It was an unexpected, though not entirely unwelcome gesture. A breathy sigh escaped her lips and she rubbed her thighs together to distract herself from the feelings that were overtaking her body. Though it was useless, she knew he could tell she was aroused.
She thought back to the dream she had had just before she had last seen Eric with his memories intact. Always dreams, that seemed the extent of the experience she had with Eric. It was a wonder she knew what was real and what wasn't between them.
She had fallen asleep on Jason's couch and he had appeared beside her. He had leaned over her, much in the way he had just now and had told her that she should just give in to her desires—that he knew that she knew she liked it. And she had. Though his motives were questionable, and with Eric they most certainly always were, and she trusted him about as far as she could throw him (ha, ha) she had felt that desire to be something real. The problem with Eric was that he was always manipulating someone or something to get what he wanted, and she couldn't let him have that over her. He had been so ominous and though his appearances in her dreams were hardly ever easily explained there was just something more she remembered feeling. It was urgency and desperation, but muddled and hazy. She wasn't sure why she was feeling those things. At the time she had attributed the feelings to Bill, but sitting here she was beginning to reevaluate that assessment. But right now in the safety of her home she was allowing herself to forget who Eric was. Right now she needed him to be someone who didn't know her, without the fear that he would suddenly remember who he was and hold everything she had done over her.
He placed her hand back in her lap and rocked back on his heels so that they there was a considerable distance between them. "Who was she?"
The change of subject jolted Sookie back to reality. "Jessica. She's Bill's child."
She knew without asking that he had heard the whole exchange, but for whatever reason she felt it necessary to highlight the comment that had sent her reeling.
"Bill is gone."
"I heard." He said it with such calm authority. In that moment she recognized him as Eric, the one she knew. It would seem that he was a natural born leader, the voice of reason even when he did not know himself.
He got up to sit beside her on the couch, casually taking her hand in his. It was a gesture of comfort, one that she greatly needed at that moment. They were touching so often lately, something she would have found overwhelming had she been her normal neurotic self. "I'm not really sure if he's missing. Maybe he left? But what if something happened to him, I mean, he was supposed to bring me back and he didn't. Maybe the queen punished him. Maybe he will be coming for me." She rattled off her concerns to no one in particular, only half focusing on the words as they were coming out of her mouth. "Maybe she will be coming for me," she added.
"I will not let anything harm you." His words startled her. They were so fierce. Despite her better judgment she wanted to believe that Eric would protect her. In fact, this whole thing was just a giant exercise in doing everything against what it was in her nature to do. It was remarkably easy.
"Thank you." She sat on the couch unsure of what else to say. She shivered slightly in the damp night and pulled her arms around herself seeking warmth. Eric's arms wrapped themselves around her drawing him close to her as he reclined on the couch and covered them both with the afghan.
"Tell me about yourself," he said abruptly as he pulled her back into her arms and buried his face in the hair bunched at the nape of her neck.
She laughed softly and stretched her neck up so that he had better access to it. It felt natural and comfortable, as if it were perfectly normal for Eric to nuzzle her in such a familiar manner. She liked it though, it felt good and he felt good. She relaxed against him and pulled the blanket tight around her arms.
"What do you want to know?"
"The details. The stuff no one else knows. Tell me your secrets, Sookie Stackhouse."
"I don't have any secrets."
"Tell me about us, then."
"There is no us, Eric."
"We know each other, surely we have some history. How did we meet?"
"Your bar. Bill took me there to ask about some murders that my brother was being accused of committing. You were…you. A little intimidating, I guess, but then again not so much."
"Were you attracted to me?"
She playfully nudged him in the ribs. The easy laugh that Eric let out sent tremors down her spine as his whole chest rumbled. She began telling him about their past. The time that he rescued her from the church in Dallas. How he had tricked her into taking his blood. She wanted to sugarcoat some of the less flattering stories of him, but he knew when she was hiding things from him. He did not even pretend to look remorseful when she told him how she had naively believed that she had to suck the bullet from his chest. He looked proud and pleased, much the same as he had that very night. They laughed and talked until just before dawn when Eric placed a chaste kiss upon her lips and asked if he would see her when he awoke that evening.
"No," she yawned, interrupting herself. "Sorry. I actually switched shifts with one of the girls so I'll be gone when you wake up, but I'll be home about two. Feel free to come in and make yourself comfortable. There's blood in the fridge. You can watch a movie or something."
"I will see you then," he said with a smile and then he was gone.
Sookie gathered her blanket around her and stood up. The whole night had passed in a blink of an eye as she had opened up to Eric more than she had with anyone probably ever. He was so easy to talk to, didn't judge her or expect anything from her. He was playful and teasing, quick to laugh and so very unlike Eric that she found herself completely charmed by him. It was not as though he would be around forever, but she had kept a lot worse company. She yawned again as she padded up the stairs to her room. When she reached the bed she collapsed, face down into the mattress, grateful that she could sleep away the whole day. She optimistically thought towards the next night when she would have a day off. Only working two days in a row and already she needed the rest.
Work came without any great catastrophes and though the night started out slow business grew steadily into the full swing of a typical night. Endless parades of couples and families, most familiar faces, came and went until eleven when it began to die down. She saw Sam leaning against the bar and came up to stand beside him.
"You okay? You look a little tired."
"Yeah, I'm fine," he said with a boyish grin. "You?"
She was about to answer when she suddenly had an inexplicable feeling that something was off. She thought back on the day but nothing struck her as particularly odd. It was as though it was there, just below her consciousness, but in a place she couldn't grasp it.
"Sookie?" The slight edge of hysteria in Sam's voice brought her back to the present. He must have been calling her name for quite some time because several patrons at the bar were looking at her as though she had really gone off the deep end for good this time.
She gave a sharp, self-deprecating laugh and apologized to Sam. "Guess I'm a little more tired than I thought."
"Maybe you should go home and rest. It's pretty slow, I think we're probably gonna pack it in early tonight. I'll finish for you." Normally she wouldn't have dreamed of cutting out early, but something in her was propelling her towards her home. Though she had no idea what it might be something was definitely wrong.
"Okay. Thanks, Sam." He gently squeezed her hand as she made her way into the office to collect her things. As she got into her car the panic began to gradually build in her chest until she was on the verge of all out hyperventilating. She pressed harder on the gas, doing everything in her power to close the distance between her and Eric. She didn't know why; all she knew was that she needed to see him immediately.