Chapter 7

Hey guys. Again thx for the reviews, you guys are the best. So sorry for all the angst but it has to be there. You will get it in the end, just stay with me here. So here's another one. Don't hate me.

Nobody wants to be the only one left standing
Nobody wants to be the only one to understand
And now I'm seeing the way that you're leaving
Without me

Now go on and drift away
The tide can hold you out
Go quiet now
Go sound go safe
Open hands are hard to hold on to anyway
Anyway

- Ingrid Michaelson - Open Hands

Donna wakes up in the infirmary, her whole body hurts. She has a collection of where she is and how she came to be here and for the first time she is actually glad she is hurt, it's peaceful here. She has developed some phobia of her prison holdings; the thought of her little bed in that very crowded prison makes her gag. And now she has enemies, she really was trying to play nice, to fit in and all. Now she has to face 5years of this. She can't trust anyone, not the guards, not the inmates and not even the warden. For some reason everyone seems to have it in for her. The warden had asked her what had happened. She had wanted to tell but wisdom told her not to. The worst thing to be in these walls is a snitch. She would never live to finish her sentence in this prison if she does tell. Hell, at this rate she is not quite sure she'll live that long anyway. She's skipped prison yard today, thank God for small mercies. She turns on her side to face the door, carefully adjusting her arm which is in a sling, groaning as every movement causes her pain. At that moment a guard walks in, she's wearing that face. Maybe she had counted her chicks too soon before they hatched after all. What is it this time? She should fake sleep more.

"Paulsen, you have a visitor." the guard says.

Her first reaction is excitement, it must be Harvey. This is the first day after his three day ban from seeing her. She had been missing him something fierce. He must be weighed down with guilt after what happened. Knowing him, he thinks this is his fault and she has to take care of him again. Somehow assure him that this is not his fault, but of course he won't believe her. She could always try though. She gets up from her bed but freezes when she catches her face in the mirror. Oh my God, she can't see him like this. Her cheek is bruised; she has a black eye plus the sling that's on her arm. She can't see him like this. She can't let him see her like this. She takes some steps back to her bed, sitting there dejected. What is she going to do now? If she refuses to see him he will probably think that she blames him and is angry at him or something. But she can't see him like this. If anything he will feel worst. And how is she going to face him like this? She really looks like a prison mate now, totally fits in. She's not the Donna he's used to. He has never seen her less than perfect and even when she was in her PJs she'd always been perfect.

"Please tell him that I can't see him today." She says to the guard.

The guard just shrugs, "suit yourself missy." She says walking away then she pauses. "How the hell did you know it was a he anyway? Only get male visitors up in here princess?" she asks sarcastically.

Donna ignores the implied insult, "I know its Harvey Specter, and I don't want to see him today." She says cordially.

The guard just looks at her disdainfully and walks away.

...

Harvey is pacing nervously in the waiting room. He is anxious to see her but he dreads it at the same time, now that he's actually here. His palms are sweating and he can't sit still. He looks up to see a guard strolling towards him, but there is no Donna behind her. He waits for it.

"Donna Paulsen won't be able to see you today." The guard says curtly

His heart hurts,why? Is she angry with him? She blames him doesn't she? Or is she ok? Is she hurt? All these questions run rampage in his brain.

"Why the hell not?" he asks the guard who just shrugs and strolls back out of the room, clearly dismissing him. Oh hell no! No one dismisses Harvey Specter like that. He makes his way in quick belligerent strides towards the warden's office. He waits outside her office as the secretary makes a call to announce him. After a while he is let in. The Warden is sitting in her power chair, her guard fully on, prepared to say no to whatever he has to say.

"Mr Specter what can I do for you?" she asks

"Donna Paulsen. I need to see her." He says

"Well that's too bad Mr Specter because she has refused to see you." she says

"There is no way that Donna will refuse to see me . If anything has happened to her I will hold you responsible. And believe me I will make your life miserable." He says menacingly.

She looks at his face and she sees that he's not playing. She knows his reputation and lawyers in general are a pain in the ass. She doesn't want to be tied up in some legal mambo jumbo for the next five years so she decides to play ball. Maybe if she did he'll not be a pain about Donna's injuries sustained on her watch, so to speak. Though whatever happens in this prison between inmates and or guards is anything but on her watch. Still she will be held accountable and Mr Pit-bull here won't rest until he has her head on a platter. Donna is a good girl though; she has picked up on the systems of this prisnyland in only a few days. She won't snitch; if she wanted to she would have rated out her inmates that day. She'll be good. Feeling reassured the warden calls in the guard outside her office.

"Call Donna Paulsen to my office. Tell her I want to see her" she says to the guard who nods and leaves the room. Harvey sits down in the chair opposite the warden's desk. He is not going to make small talk with this woman so he just stares outside the window. The Warden doesn't try either obviously reading his mood correctly.

"I am going to need some privacy when I meet up with Donna. Would you mind giving us your office? He asks

"No Mr Specter you will not have my office. I am only doing you a favor here. Now you will go to another holding room where you can meet with Ms Paulsen but be rest assured, you're not allowed any special treatment. You will be supervised in your meeting and the usual rules apply. Now if you don't mind, please follow me."

Harvey concedes that one; as far as he is concerned he won. He gets to see Donna and that's all he cares about. He is led into a holding room; it's more private than the usual visiting room. It's got a glass on the wall which he assumes is a surveillance glass. There will be people on the other side of that glass looking in, seeing and hearing everything he says. He won't be able to see who would be on the other side of the glass though but he has a very well idea. He paces the room, anxiously waiting for Dona. He is so nervous he can't remember ever being this sweaty palm, heart racing nervous.

...

Donna is led hand cuffed by the guard to the Warden's office, or so the guard had told her that that's where they were going. She has never been to the Warden's office before so she wouldn't know if that was true or not. Why would the Warden suddenly want to see her anyway?She had been surprised when the guard had come back after about 30 mins and she was fully prepared to say no to her again. But its past visit hour, Harvey wouldn't still be there right? As stubborn as he was, visit hour was over. Did Harvey perhaps make some waves after she had refused to see him? Maybe he had threatened the Warden or something and again they are going to take it out on her. She is scared at that thought. Or maybe they wan't to interrogate her about her injuries again. She walks on with the guard propelling her forward non too gently. It's difficult to walk as fast with cuffs on and a sling on top of that, not to mention the pain in her body. Then they meet up with the Warden in the hallway. Donna is confused, why are they meeting in a hallway? Then the Warden looks at the handcuffs and orders the guard to take them off her. "No hand cuffs, we don't want any trouble." She says to the guard. The hand cuffs are taken off and Donna keeps herself from rubbing the sting off. She is then led into a small room,mentally preparing herself for some sort of torture. She looks up and her heart stops. He's right there and God she had missed him. She stops breathing for a moment, how the hell is he here? She traces his face with her eyes, almost like she is touching him. She would like to touch that face, feel his skin against her palm one more time. She is so absorbed in her fantasy that she takes a while to notice the look on his face, his eyes. He looks outraged. He looks like he's seen a ghost. She suddenly remembers how she looks, the black eye, and the bruises. She is torn between fleeing the scene and running into his arms. She feels ashamed; she should have never let him see her like this.

"Oh my God! Oh my God Donna!" he says outraged. "Who the hell did this to you?"

She just stands there, not knowing what to say. He walks towards her, his hand stretching to touch the bruised check. Harvey cannot believe what he's seeing. For goodness's sake it has only been three days. Three freaking days! His mind is screaming in recoil. How could they? Who would do something like this to Donna?

The look in his eyes is her undoing. She feels tears threatening but she can't cry now or Harvey will feel worst. She can't help it though; his presence here is like fresh air. He takes her into his arms and she just breaths in deep. Its so good being in his arms like this.

"No touching!" someone yells from the glass wall but Harvey doesn't let her go.

"Go screw yourself." he whispers defiantly.

"No touching", the guard says again and Donna reluctantly disentangles herself from Harvey's embrace. She moves to take a seat on a small chair on a small table in the room and Harvey takes the one opposite. "Donna tell me right now who did this to you?"He asks her

She just looks away, not wanting to lie to him but knowing that she couldn't tell him. "I caught an elbow playing basketball Harvey, just let it go."

"Let it go? Really Donna? Someone does this to you and I should just let it go?"He asks incredulously

"That's what I just said. Let it go Harvey." She says firmly

"I will turn this prison upside down until I payback whoever did this to you. The warden has got a lot to answer for and by God I am going to make her pay!" He is so furious he doesn't care who's hearing him anymore. He doesn't understand why Donna is sitting there covering for this person.

"No you won't." She says calmly.

"Donna..."

"Harvey this is my life now!" she cuts him off, her voice suddenly raised. "Ok? I am the one who has to live with these same people for the next 5 goddamn years. So don't go and make waves in this prison for me. I have to live with the consequences." She sees understanding in his eyes and continues. He has to get this or she will be in a lot of trouble. "So I caught an elbow playing basketball Harvey. That's all there is to it." She says firmly. "None of this is your fault Harvey. But you've got to let me go. I have a different life now."

"Time's up." The guard says stepping inside the room to take Donna away.

Harvey watches her go; she doesn't look back at him this time. He can't have this. He can't have this. He just can't.