dandandandan~
"I'll really miss you Alfred. I really will."
Those were the last words he had said to me, and the last time he had said my name. It keeps repeating on my mind, over and over again like a broken CD. I could still remember very well how his voice sounds like, and how his accent makes every word, no matter how short or simple it is, sound so endearing to the ears.
It has been months already, six months to be exact! Yes, I know I'm such a baby for counting the days not getting over everything completely but it can't be helped. My mind won't listen.
I've tried once actually, to ask permission to be transferred to New York, to base me somewhere near New York, or anywhere in America. I even tried to have me switch places with someone there, but the permission wasn't granted. I know very well why. To be permitted, you must have a very good reason, a valid and acceptable one. Acceptable. Of course I didn't know what to tell them. I can't just speak so casually like, 'Hey my darling love of my life is there, so let me go dude.' It's like sentencing myself to death. So the reason they got from me was, 'I'm bored here. I want something new!' Which is a very natural and unsusceptible reason knowing me and how my mind works. But it is not valid. So I got thrown a big 'NO'. I didn't attempt to ask again.
Everyone has noticed the slight change in me too which I've noticed as well. For the first weeks, all my smiles were forced, fake, not real. And I don't laugh at jokes, I just smile. Gilbert is the very first one to notice that since he's my closes buddy, the one whose silliness always makes me laugh. He noticed my lack of happiness the moment he threw a shoe at my head and he didn't get any reaction. Well he did but it was just a simple, 'Oh it's you.' My recovery was kinda slow, and it took me 3 months I think, before I find myself laughing like crazy again. Though up till now, every now and then I'll isolate myself just to think about and remember everything.
Like now, I'm sitting alone at the top of the White tower, Tower of London. People believe it's haunted, but hell no. The problem had been taken care of years and years and years ago. People are merely imagining things right now. I see some tourists below pass by, exchanging stories about ghosts from history. They say a white lady roams around the area, carrying her head in her arms. I know nothing about London's history, so I don't really know who that lady is.
The sound of an airplane gets my attention and I look up, watching it slowly move and hide itself in the clouds. Arthur, why must everything make me remember you?
It was raining that day but I ignored it and let myself get drenched in the rain. It was very early, the sun was just peeking from the mountains but fortunately I was just right on time. The three were still at home. Scott was on the phone as he walked around the house, checking everything just in case he forgot something. Peter was busy drawing something on a paper. Arthur, well Arthur at first I didn't see him. He wasn't in the living room. The huge sliding windows were closed, but hopefully they weren't locked, so when no one was looking I opened it very slowly, careful not produce a sound. I didn't open it entirely, just a little until I think my body would fit.
The moment I stepped on the carpeted floor, my feet directed me straight to Arthur's bedroom. That's where I found him. There was a luggage sitting on the edge of his bed, the closet was still open but I found not a single dress hanging. There were shoes, or any other items. On his bed side table, there were no more books. The room was empty, only Arthur and me, and well his luggage and his bed were what's left on the room.
Arthur sat on his bed facing the window; he seemed to be in deep thought. His eyes seemed sleepy but I know they weren't. He actually looked sad, like heaven and earth was against him. I could feel the same way, I completely understand. I was tempted to show myself, but no I can't. I shouldn't, because everything would just feel worse. Everything would also be very complicated.
He's hugging a pillow just like the last time, hiding his nose and mouth. The room was dark, the lightning illuminating it every once in a while. The thunder comes after, disturbing the silence.
I walk quietly and took a sit behind him, leaning gently on his back. His body, I felt it flinch with the contact. His head swings slightly to the side but he doesn't say anything. After a while he buries his head on the pillow again and relaxes. I hug my knees with a sigh.
I wanted to talk to him but I know I'm not supposed to that. I was forced to bear with the silence. This heavy silence.
After a loud crash of thunder, I heard him whispering something to himself. At first I wasn't able to understand anything, but as I listened more carefully, I was able to hear only his voice and the noise of the rain outside seemed to have faded away.
"…I see the day and happy summer die,
If you could hear my heart in answer cry.
Its pain to your sad tune, you'd swiftly wing,
Into my bosom you would bring.
And we would weep together you and I."
He was about to speak more, but a knock on the door disturbed him along with his brother's voice.
"Art! I called a cab already, coming in a few minutes."
"Yeah, I'll be there shortly." He stands up, and my back feels so cold again. He searches for his luggage with his hands, and smiled when he finally had his hands on it. I watch him walked towards the door, and he seemed to hesitate on opening it. He just stood there with the cold knob in his hand.
Then he turned to my direction and our eyes met. I froze, but then he couldn't see me. His eyes didn't move away and so did mine. I just wanted to look at him as much as I can, before he finally vanish for good.
"Art! Ready yet?" That cut him out of his trance.
"Ah, yeah." He opens the door without glancing back at me. It seemed like it took him forever to step out. Everything seemed to have moved in a slow motion. My eyes never left the door, as long as I could still see a part of Arthur, my eyes never blinked.
That was the last time I saw him. I didn't chase him at the airport anymore. Just seeing him leaving, closing the door behind was painful enough. What more seeing him fly away somewhere I know I can't come?
The sun is high up in the sky as I walk on the shore. The waves hit the sand, wetting my feet. I smile as I feel them, the lower part of my pants are wet now and the stick to my skin which I find kind of irritating. But I don't care for now. I'm enjoying the water.
I'm not the only one though; a lot of other people are enjoying it too. There are families everywhere, group of friends throwing sand at each other, and lovers chasing each other on the shore. Some went pass through me actually. Add a love song as background music and they would look like those being displayed in the karaoke. I laugh at myself, I'm funny.
"The hell are you laughing at?" I turn my head at the very familiar voice.
Brown hair, brown eyes, a long rebelling curl that looks like a butterfly's antennae (Of course I don't tell him that.), another angel that doesn't seem like one with the never-fading frown on his face. I smile and wave my hand as he walk beside me. "Sup Lovi?"
"Sup? Idiot I have work here."
"Oh. Me too." I say with glee but I only got a roll of his eyes.
"I know that." I shrug my shoulders and chuckle but he doesn't find anything worth even a giggle. If there's one thing that could make him laugh, that is watching people and their idiotic actions. Just like the couple in front of us now. His eyes are on them as they throw balls of sand at each other, hitting each other in the faces that it didn't take long for the girl to cry, complaining that her eyes got sand on them. "Hah! Idiotic freaks never fail to amuse me." He laughs and I try to force a low chuckle too just to get over the uneasiness.
"Uh, anyway-"
"Boo Alfred, stop ruining the fun." I blink several times, thinking about what I could have possibly done. I didn't even get to say a whole sentence. I just sigh and scratch my head as he continue searching for something idiotic to laugh at.
He is enjoying himself as of the moment, pointing at different people and their funny-for-him acts, nudging my arm with his elbow saying. "See that? See that! Oh how stupid—OH! Hahahaha!"
And I laugh an obviously fake one too but he doesn't seem to notice.
The time passes quickly and soon we the hear shouts of people, our cue that work is finally starting.
We start walking briskly to see what everyone is gasping at. Our eyes follow the pointing hands and we see the reason. A yacht, meters and meters from the shore is puffing thick black smoke in the air. It is on fire.
"Somebody call for help! Please!"
"Call the ambulance! Call the rescue team!"
"Bloody hell how many people are there! Can they swim?"
The crowd us getting a lot more frantic and the sudden, loud explosion made the people's fears worse. Kids are crying, the adults are praying. I look at them with sad eyes because whatever it is they're wishing for, it wouldn't come true. The people in there are destined to die today.
I feel sudden pain in my ear, Lovi pulls my left ear hard that I needed to pinch his own ears in order for him to let go. "What was that for?"
"For you, you idiot!"
"Me?"
"Yeah! I'm not explaining why okay? Just…" He sighs as he looks away. "Just don't look at them, ignore them if you please." He speaks softer. He's talking about the people, he's telling me not to look at their faces, faces the shows fear. I know exactly why.
I pull his arm and my wings open. "I think, we better go there now." He nods his head and we both flap our wings, ready to finish things as quick as possible to get rid of the horrible sight.
The smoke is thick, pitch black and very unpleasant to the nose; we had to cover half of our face with both hands. On mid-air, we wait for souls to float up in the air with us. The cries inside, they're much worse than the cries of the people on the shore. These are real cries of pain, feeling their skin burn slowly, be consumed by fire. I look at Lovi his back turned against the burning water vehicle.
"I guess we came too soon." I hear him say in a very soft voice. I didn't say anything anymore and simply wait for any signs of the souls.
It didn't take much longer for the fire to cool down and the rescuers to arrive. Floating pieces of the yacht are slowly being collected and sorted away on a separate container. Lovi flies beside me as we watch them search for the bodies of the victims. One by one, they show up on the surface of the water, lifeless, their bodies are not a sight to be seen. They look a lot more horrible than over roasted meat. You can't identify who is who anymore.
As the bodies float up, their souls rise in the air and their faces filled with shock and disbelief as they see their own bodies look like human coal. "No…" One lady whispers and she covers her mouth as she looks at herself be carried away by the team of rescuers. "This can't be! I'm dead? I can't die yet!" She tries to rush back to her body, she meant to return back and try to live again but Lovi grabs her arm. That is the only time she had noticed our presence. "Who are you!" She looks behind Lovi then at me and notices our wings. She begins pleading instantly. "Please don't take me yet! Please don't!"
I shake my head. "We're sorry miss." I fly nearer and she struggles to break free from Lovi's grip, pleading and crying not to take her away yet. Saying something about his sick husband and waiting children. Before she could even say anything more, I place my palm on her forehead and watch her slowly turn into a small faint orb of light.
"Alfred." I turn to look at him and read his eyes; he's telling me we should end things faster now. I nod my head and we proceed to collect the surprised, horror-filled souls. Saying apologies and short explanations, and answering some of their questions before they finally depart from this world.
Each of us got 4 floating lights in our hands, all has a faint glow on them, and some actually seem not to glow at all unless you stare at them fully. They all have died with regrets, with unfinished business, with someone they left untimely. I watch the rescuers double check their bodies, having hopes that they would feel the slightest beat of their hearts of pulse, that they would feel even the faintest breathe from their noses.
I turn my back and look at the other angel I'm with, he has no intention of even glancing at the scene. As much as possible, if he doesn't need to look, he will not. "Hey, let's g-."
"Someone's alive! He's breathing for the love of the queen!" I was cut off by the sudden shout of the people below. The medics rush from boat to boat just to give the rightful equipment, the first-aid that will make sure of his surviving chances. Both our eyes now look at the scene; we watch the people let their lips curve into a smile, thanking everything and everyone they could. They thank God, the lord, their Queen, the waters, the victim's heart, and the victim itself for surviving. Some eyes are beginning to water but decide to keep their tears to be shed later. Right now, the unknown man's survival is their top priority. Among the 9 that boarded, his heart is the only beating one.
"At least there's one good thing that happened." Lovi whispers. I smile.
"Yeah."
They quickly look for the injuries and remove some of his clothing so it wouldn't get glued to his burns. The man is completely knocked-out, his whole face black with soot, but at least it is recognizable he is blonde since the water manage to wash some of the dirt away.
We stay there as we watch the whole scene. We want to know, to make sure this man survives. It's not like we didn't review our assignment. I actually checked my list a few times before we got here. 3 souls for me, 5 for Lovi, but a little help with one won't hurt. A lady begins to check his heart-rate; another person is busy checking his injuries as they speed off for land where the ambulances are waiting. One guy begins to cleanse some of his wounds with a clean cloth. He wipes off any dirt that would probably hide his burns, his cuts and any other damaged skin. Slowly, the dirt on his face is carefully being wiped off and we could see details of what he looks like little by little.
His lips are almost white, so as his skin. He's extremely pale which is of course, because of the accident. His nose, not overly pointed like some Europeans. It's actually seems like a perfect bridged nose. I settle lower, Lovi stops me though but I pretend not to hear anything. I want to take a closer look at this man. Something at the back of brain tells me to, there's also this feeling that I have seen this face before.
His eyes, of course they are closed. I notice his long thin lashes which would closely resemble a girl's.
I move my hands to touch his face. I hear Lovi shout again but I completely ignore it.
Because I already know why my body is all tensed up.
"Damn it Alfred! What are you trying to do!" My hair is pulled back in pain making me gasp. Lovi has a deep frown on his face. "He's going to live, okay? We know that already besides he's not on the list! Now let's go!"
I look at him, and then I look back at the body beside me. And then my eyes land on Lovi again and I nod my head. "Let's go." I whisper and immediately I open my wings and speed up surprising my friend who now showers me with the words: 'Damn idiot!'
I accelerate more, I know Lovi is having a hard time catching me but I didn't stop until I reach a fairly high place up in the clouds, almost a little close to where these souls are supposed to be delivered. In a matter of seconds Lovi reaches me and his hand finds its way to my face giving it a hard smack. "The hell Alfred! What are-"
"I need to go now!" I pass him the small faint orbs and they float along with the others already in his hands. He looks at them and then at me with disbelief.
"What! You're not gonna-"
I grip his shoulders and look at him in the eyes, and then the words come out very fast like meteors from my mouth. "Too much sea watching, another work on the other side, running late, I'm sorry bye!" I fly quickly downwards once again in a faster speed than when I was flying up.
Slowly, the view below is becoming clear, the familiar police tapes and medical teams are clear on my sight now. My eyes quickly roam around looking for any signs of the man from a while ago but I couldn't find any traces. I land on the sand, almost tripping but I quickly regain my balance. My neck stretches, trying to locate him as I pass through different people. But still no traces of him. No, no Alfred you can't lose him! Not this time, not again!
The sound of the ambulance siren shoots right on my ears and without any other thoughts, my wings open and I am soaring on the air again. My eyes are like an eagle's now, sharp and alert as I look for the ambulance. Some police cars had confused me with their sirens but fortunately, soon I am able to spot the speeding vehicle on the highway. I lower myself down and match my speed with it. The driver is surely hitting the gas hard. I stay on top of it, sometimes I try to lower myself at the sides to peak but I couldn't see anything. I just settle on top.
The ambulance hits the breaks as it reaches the hospital. The back door opens, doctors and nurses rush to his side as he is transferred into a bed with wheels. He is immediately rolled inside the emergency room, selected medics on his side as the others rush for equipment. I run to his side and hold his hand as I pray for his survival. I know he's not meant to die yet, but I need to make sure. Who knows? Someone else might actually be assigned for him. His death might only be a couple of minutes or hours ahead. Life is full of unnecessary surprises.
I couldn't understand any word the doctors say. I hear them use 'Internal bleeding', 'blood clot', 2nd degree burn on this side', and it sounds really bad to me. They even said he has water on his lungs still!
My hand grips his own tighter. I am letting him feel my touch; I am hoping he can feel it despite being asleep. There are liquids injected on his veins and it makes me feel worse. I can't attain to look at his hands with a needle inserted in it, connecting to some kind of water that hangs on his bed. I have no idea what is happening, I don't want to understand any of what they're doing. As long as they make sure he is safe and he will live, I have no problem with that.
The past 2 hours seemed like eternity to me. Those 2 hours that took just to conclude that he is now at least hundred percent away from death. If it's possible for me to die from a heart attack I think I would've already just because of extreme worry.
He is now in placed on his own room. I sit beside him on his bed, one arm supporting my weight as the other holds his hand, my fingers caressing it on my touch. I already am calm, and now I am able to think about everything that had just happened. I can't believe everything went by so fast and now here I am sitting and thinking about it all. Starting from recognizing his face, then passing half of my work to Lovi and telling him a lie. I really owe that guy! One day I'll do his work for him, but for now I'll just stay here, sit here and wait for him to open his eyes again.
I sigh as I look at his sleeping face. So calm, and so angelic.
Then I remember the very first time I saw him. That unforgettable day, when he had seized me with just the way his eyes land on my own. Come to think of it, it was in a hospital too when I first met him. And now we meet again, after such a long time, in a hospital somewhere in London.
I can't help but think like a high school girl like now. This is fate; this is what you call destiny. I am meant to see him again right? Because we are made for each other right?
He stirs in his sleep, shifts, and finally, his eyes open.
Another chappie done... sleep sweet sleep awaits...
Forgive me for my grammatical errors and misspelled words and..uh yeah... I love you all.
sweet bed come to meee!