1 CHAPTER 7
Zell wakes in a prison cell along with Squall, Barret and Pikachu
ZELL: Where am I?
BARRET: Don't worry, you're with me!
ZELL: Oh shit
SQUALL: We were captured and token to Dildo INC's headquarters.
ZELL: Huh? Didn't we put up a fight?
SQUALL: Yeah, but they beat the crap out of us like always.
BARRET: Oh oh! Can we explain it more by doing one of those flashbacks?
SQUALL: No they make me dizzy when everything goes all wavy.
BARRET: Oh please?
SQUALL: Fine
Everything goes all wavy as the scene changes.
ZELL: Hey, kinda like an LSD trip
The scene changes Back to the super market at night.
SQUALL: Hey, Zells fallen behind!
They walked back to find Zell reading Pornos at the mag section
SQUALL: Zell! Common!
ZELL: Damn!
ZELL: (Present voice over lapping) Hey I remember this part! I didn't need reminding thank you! Get to the bit with Mario
SQUALL: Oh okay
Everything goes all wavy again and the scene is in the Super market's basement, Squall, Zell, Barret and Pikachu were surrounded by workers armed with shovels and hammers along with Quina. And Mario just appeared.
MARIO: Yes I own Dildo INC!
Squall was hugging Zell in fear so tightly Zell passed out.
SQUALL: Whoopsie
BARRET: What's with all the Machinery fatty?
MARIO: As if I am going to tell you…..Well anyway this factory is producing lamps!
SQUALL: Lamps? What kind of evil scheme is that?
MARIO: Everyone knows Lamps hold great power!
SQUALL: Everyone does?
MARIO: This supermarket was just a cover for this factory so I can produce Lamps and rule the world! Ga hahahahahaha!
QUINA: Fat head President betray Quina! Fat head President told Quina he was only interested in sharing food with world!
MARIO: Well you were a fool Quina
Workers surrounded Quina threatening him with their hammers and shovels
BARRET: Enough crap!
Barret fired his arm gun at Mario, but cause Mario is so fat the bullets just bounced off him.
MARIO: Aha! Quad helpings of Pizza has saved me again!
Squall summoned the Guardian force Bilbo baggins. Bilbo appeared on a flash of green light and flew about the place sending light, explosions and stuff all over the place.
SQUALL: Guardian forces always have to make an entrance don't they?
BILBO: Okay I am here, Prepare to face my wrath evil forces!
Mario gave Bilbo's foot a small slight kick
BILBO: Aggggghhhh!!!
Bilbo flew away
SQUALL: I didn't know it was possible to be anti-climatic and pathetic at the same time!
MARIO: Prepare to be kicked shit less
BARRET: Oh what you gonna do? Jump on me?
Mario jumped and flattened Barret
BARRET: Ugh! He jumped on me
A worker approached Squall and hit him over the head with an shovel and knocked him out.
MARIO: Take them away! And that Pokemon too!
Everything goes all wavy yet again an we are back to the present in the prison cell.
SQUALL: And here we are! In a cell!
Suddenly the cell door opened an a prison warden Zell knew very well entered
ZELL: Oh no not you!
MEAN MAN: Yes me!
Mean man kicks Zell between the legs, then repeatingly kicks him when he is down
MEAN MAN: That was fun…erm…what was I here for again? Oh yeah, is there a Pikachu here?
PIKACHU: Pikachu!
MEAN MAN: That's right, where is he?
PIKACHU: Pikachu!
MEAN MAN: Yeah I know, but Where?
PIKACHU: Pika pika!
MEAN MAN: Huh?
SQUALL: That is Pikachu!
MEAN MAN: Oh right, come along now.
Mean man grabs Pikachu and carry's him off
ZELL: Pikachu! Nooooooo!
Crappy sad Pokemon music starts, tears flooding from Pikachu's eyes and Zell was crying too.
SQUALL: Man, hope this doesn't lead to one of those Pokemon songs
Zell opens his mouth; Squall hastily puts his hand over it
SQUALL: Don't even think of it!
Meanwhile at the protest Head quarters Reeves was hastily packing his equipment.
REEVES: With the others captured it be a matter of time before Dildo INC finds out the location of this Headquarters…Hey, why I am I talking to myself?
He heard footsteps and hid under the table, two Dildo INC Construction workers came in and started searching the place.
WORKER 1: Hey check this sign out.
The two Workers look at Zell's protest sign with the nude woman on. While they were distracted by the sign Reeves got out from under the table and escaped out of the Headquarters' entrance.
Mean while Mario was flying the heavens with his Wings on his back (Mario 3) and was collecting coins.
MARIO: Ah yes! Ah yes! Come to me my pretties!
Suddenly Mario was awakened from his dream by a knocking on his Office door. His office being on the top floor of the Dildo INC headquarters
MARIO: Huh? Oh…. come in!
A worker entered.
WORKER: Sir, We have produced enough Lamps from our…Securt Factories…. around the world. Where are we taking them from now on?
MARIO: To the Test site! There we will surround the place with the Lamps and turn them all on at the same time!
WORKER: Cool, that will bring all the hippies round!
MARIO: shut up and get all the Lamps ready!
WORKER: Yes sir!
Mean while back at the Prison cell the gang was discussing escape plans.
SQUALL: I don't think that would work Zell,
ZELL: Why not?
SQUALL: Cause the chance of success if we used spoons to dig ourselves out of this cell is just as big as your manly hood.
ZELL: Hey, No one disses my manly hood and lives!
SQUALL: Then why is half of the Garden's cadets still alive?
ZELL: Why you little…
BARRET: Stop fighting damn it!
SQUALL: Sorry, this cell is depressing me
ZELL: Squall…. Depressed?….Barret doesn't want violence? Who are you two, and what have you done with the real Squall and Barret?
Suddenly the cell door was opened.
SQUALL: Hey, the doors open!
ZELL: Who opened it?
A shadowy person stood in the doorway.
BARRET: I bet its Reeves, Hes come to rescue us!
SQUALL: Nah, I bet its Yuffie who has escaped the Super marchet clan and come back for us!
ZELL: And I say its Superman!
Squall slaps Zell. The person at the door walks forward but before they saw who it was, Squall and Zell passed out again.
Zell wakes in a prison cell along with Squall, Barret and Pikachu
ZELL: Where am I?
BARRET: Don't worry, you're with me!
ZELL: Oh shit
SQUALL: We were captured and token to Dildo INC's headquarters.
ZELL: Huh? Didn't we put up a fight?
SQUALL: Yeah, but they beat the crap out of us like always.
BARRET: Oh oh! Can we explain it more by doing one of those flashbacks?
SQUALL: No they make me dizzy when everything goes all wavy.
BARRET: Oh please?
SQUALL: Fine
Everything goes all wavy as the scene changes.
ZELL: Hey, kinda like an LSD trip
The scene changes Back to the super market at night.
SQUALL: Hey, Zells fallen behind!
They walked back to find Zell reading Pornos at the mag section
SQUALL: Zell! Common!
ZELL: Damn!
ZELL: (Present voice over lapping) Hey I remember this part! I didn't need reminding thank you! Get to the bit with Mario
SQUALL: Oh okay
Everything goes all wavy again and the scene is in the Super market's basement, Squall, Zell, Barret and Pikachu were surrounded by workers armed with shovels and hammers along with Quina. And Mario just appeared.
MARIO: Yes I own Dildo INC!
Squall was hugging Zell in fear so tightly Zell passed out.
SQUALL: Whoopsie
BARRET: What's with all the Machinery fatty?
MARIO: As if I am going to tell you…..Well anyway this factory is producing lamps!
SQUALL: Lamps? What kind of evil scheme is that?
MARIO: Everyone knows Lamps hold great power!
SQUALL: Everyone does?
MARIO: This supermarket was just a cover for this factory so I can produce Lamps and rule the world! Ga hahahahahaha!
QUINA: Fat head President betray Quina! Fat head President told Quina he was only interested in sharing food with world!
MARIO: Well you were a fool Quina
Workers surrounded Quina threatening him with their hammers and shovels
BARRET: Enough crap!
Barret fired his arm gun at Mario, but cause Mario is so fat the bullets just bounced off him.
MARIO: Aha! Quad helpings of Pizza has saved me again!
Squall summoned the Guardian force Bilbo baggins. Bilbo appeared on a flash of green light and flew about the place sending light, explosions and stuff all over the place.
SQUALL: Guardian forces always have to make an entrance don't they?
BILBO: Okay I am here, Prepare to face my wrath evil forces!
Mario gave Bilbo's foot a small slight kick
BILBO: Aggggghhhh!!!
Bilbo flew away
SQUALL: I didn't know it was possible to be anti-climatic and pathetic at the same time!
MARIO: Prepare to be kicked shit less
BARRET: Oh what you gonna do? Jump on me?
Mario jumped and flattened Barret
BARRET: Ugh! He jumped on me
A worker approached Squall and hit him over the head with an shovel and knocked him out.
MARIO: Take them away! And that Pokemon too!
Everything goes all wavy yet again an we are back to the present in the prison cell.
SQUALL: And here we are! In a cell!
Suddenly the cell door opened an a prison warden Zell knew very well entered
ZELL: Oh no not you!
MEAN MAN: Yes me!
Mean man kicks Zell between the legs, then repeatingly kicks him when he is down
MEAN MAN: That was fun…erm…what was I here for again? Oh yeah, is there a Pikachu here?
PIKACHU: Pikachu!
MEAN MAN: That's right, where is he?
PIKACHU: Pikachu!
MEAN MAN: Yeah I know, but Where?
PIKACHU: Pika pika!
MEAN MAN: Huh?
SQUALL: That is Pikachu!
MEAN MAN: Oh right, come along now.
Mean man grabs Pikachu and carry's him off
ZELL: Pikachu! Nooooooo!
Crappy sad Pokemon music starts, tears flooding from Pikachu's eyes and Zell was crying too.
SQUALL: Man, hope this doesn't lead to one of those Pokemon songs
Zell opens his mouth; Squall hastily puts his hand over it
SQUALL: Don't even think of it!
Meanwhile at the protest Head quarters Reeves was hastily packing his equipment.
REEVES: With the others captured it be a matter of time before Dildo INC finds out the location of this Headquarters…Hey, why I am I talking to myself?
He heard footsteps and hid under the table, two Dildo INC Construction workers came in and started searching the place.
WORKER 1: Hey check this sign out.
The two Workers look at Zell's protest sign with the nude woman on. While they were distracted by the sign Reeves got out from under the table and escaped out of the Headquarters' entrance.
Mean while Mario was flying the heavens with his Wings on his back (Mario 3) and was collecting coins.
MARIO: Ah yes! Ah yes! Come to me my pretties!
Suddenly Mario was awakened from his dream by a knocking on his Office door. His office being on the top floor of the Dildo INC headquarters
MARIO: Huh? Oh…. come in!
A worker entered.
WORKER: Sir, We have produced enough Lamps from our…Securt Factories…. around the world. Where are we taking them from now on?
MARIO: To the Test site! There we will surround the place with the Lamps and turn them all on at the same time!
WORKER: Cool, that will bring all the hippies round!
MARIO: shut up and get all the Lamps ready!
WORKER: Yes sir!
Mean while back at the Prison cell the gang was discussing escape plans.
SQUALL: I don't think that would work Zell,
ZELL: Why not?
SQUALL: Cause the chance of success if we used spoons to dig ourselves out of this cell is just as big as your manly hood.
ZELL: Hey, No one disses my manly hood and lives!
SQUALL: Then why is half of the Garden's cadets still alive?
ZELL: Why you little…
BARRET: Stop fighting damn it!
SQUALL: Sorry, this cell is depressing me
ZELL: Squall…. Depressed?….Barret doesn't want violence? Who are you two, and what have you done with the real Squall and Barret?
Suddenly the cell door was opened.
SQUALL: Hey, the doors open!
ZELL: Who opened it?
A shadowy person stood in the doorway.
BARRET: I bet its Reeves, Hes come to rescue us!
SQUALL: Nah, I bet its Yuffie who has escaped the Super marchet clan and come back for us!
ZELL: And I say its Superman!
Squall slaps Zell. The person at the door walks forward but before they saw who it was, Squall and Zell passed out again.