I was bored, so I kept going. Last one was really long so this isn't quite as lengthy. I really hope you enjoy this one- a little less RaiN, a little more Molly/Ryan, just because realistically he can't just forget about her… that would be both out of character and cruel… so I won't go for either. Plus… more Molly/Ryan means more angst for our friend Nat, so I think that's the plan for a little while longer =). Let me know what you'd like to read. Enjoy this for now!

Behind These Hazel Eyes- Chapter 7

It was a calm morning. Natalia had slept reasonably well once she had quelled her nerves about saying the three fateful words she'd been keeping inside for so long. Ryan had slept like an angel, and Natalia knew that her confession had taken a huge load off of his chest. Truthfully, although her admission should have removed a burden, it instead added the responsibility of keeping their relationship afloat. Mind you, Natalia had always been trying to keep the relationship alive, but now it was even more important. She very rarely uttered those words. Had she said them too soon, it would send Ryan running back to Molly. Had she said them too late, he would have become discouraged and lost all interest in the game of pursuit. Ryan, she knew, was not the kind of guy that left a girl after she gives him her heart, but Natalia had dated kinds like those. It was a balance- a challenge of knowing where the line was, the game of playing hard-to-get. Natalia knew Ryan all too well, and he had been extremely hurt by her decision to play it cool, but in the long run it would help their relationship. On top of this, Natalia had always been afraid to give a man her heart since Nick and the abusive relationship that had scarred her since then. Ryan knew this too and he incredibly willing to wait… unfortunately that willingness only convinced Natalia that it was okay to keep him guessing for a while longer. Natalia admitted this about herself… in no way was she perfect, and those imperfections kept her from living a free life.

What Natalia had yet to disclose was that she had told Calleigh about Molly's pregnancy, and broke down in the smaller woman's arms. Natalia knew that Ryan would never trust her again if Calleigh broke the news to Horatio or anyone on the team, and that scared her to pieces. It was the fear that she had left out of her monologue to Ryan last night; as perfect as Ryan was, one day he would find someone that completed him, not one that tore him back two steps every time he tried to move forward. Natalia hadn't wanted to take that chance- it was an all-too-real fear, and Natalia had anticipated its prominence in their relationship. Whereas she was happy moving at a slow pace, inch-by-inch, he preferred to take things by the horns. It was one of the many differences that tore them apart. The old saying that opposites attract was not applicable here; they were simply incompatible at times. Where Ryan was neat, organized and tidy, Natalia was both physically and emotionally a mess. Where Ryan was compulsive and acted on instinct, Natalia was fearful and reserved, waiting for the right moment. Where Ryan was willing to give his all to every relationship despite the setbacks, Natalia was too damn scared to give her heart. It was just too real for Natalia to take in: Ryan was not hers to keep. He was free and he knew it- she was just not letting him fly, cliché as it sounds. Where Ryan slept peacefully beside her early in the morning, with the birds singing an eager concerto in his ears, Natalia contemplated the rationality of their relationship and how she would manage to tell him the truth. It was the huge difference between the two- Ryan was at peace with himself but angry at the people around him, whereas Natalia resented herself and respected the people in her life for putting up with her. It was something that neither of them would come to terms with. Natalia was afraid to give it her all, and Ryan could remain forever held down by her fears and inhibitions.

As she considered this, Ryan awoke from his dreams and found Natalia sitting up straight as a board, wiping stale tears from the side of her face. He looked concernedly at her, and spoke first. "Are you alright, sweetheart?" He asked groggily, his voice exhausted from the night and stale from morning voice.

"I'm great." She whispered. "I'm just… really, really happy."

Unsure of whether or not to believe her but happy that it might be the case, Ryan grinned stupidly at her and whispered, "Would that happiness have anything to do with me?"

Natalia whispered, "Oh love, it has everything to do with you."

Ryan laughed and pulled the covers off of him. "Time to go to work."

Natalia sighed happily, relieved. "Thank you."

Ryan looked at her, surprised, but did not pursue the subject. Truthfully, Ryan did not believe her when she had told him she loved him. Of course he was pleased that she would say it, but somehow the whole night fell flat. They had gotten serious, but somehow even the love that they had shared was not strong enough to keep the inklings of rejection from creeping into his mind.

When Natalia made it to work, she caught the eye of Molly, who was calmly sorting through rubble from the arson this morning. Natalia realized that sooner or later they'd have to talk about it woman-to-woman, and she chose this moment to grasp the opportunity. Natalia marched into the room and looked at Molly sternly. "We need to talk about this."

"Talk about what, Natalia? I'm really hormonal, I don't need to deal with you."

"Molly, come on. Don't play dumb," Natalia snapped. Molly conceded.

"I'm sorry. I'm just having…issues," Molly apologized and wiped her eyes.

"It's okay. I shouldn't have been so harsh with you."

"I don't think we have much to talk about, to be honest Natalia. Ryan's with you now, there's nothing I can do and frankly nothing I want to do," Molly replied.

"I want to talk about your baby," Natalia answered.

"Natalia, I'll make sure to keep him or her out of your life," Molly snapped. "Are we done now?"

"You're hormonal, so I guess I'll forgive that."

Molly laughed bitterly. Natalia continued. "Look, Molly, that's the thing. I don't want that baby out of my life. It's a part of Ryan's life, and I think I'm a part of his life too. I'm not going to let him abandon you or your child, and I promise I'll be a good… friend to your child. I could be like your kid's aunt or something. I don't want to be the reason you're a single parent."

"But you are," Molly laughed. "And that's okay. I just don't want my child to grow up in an environment where he or she's not wanted."

"He or she is wanted!" Natalia insisted.

"Natalia, I appreciate all you're doing to support me, and frankly I think you're being more willing than even Ryan, so let's just get this straight. I love that you're not being jealous and holding my child against me… but it's not your responsibility. It's Ryan's problem to deal with. I really respect that you think this is your job, but it isn't. If you can convince Ryan to work out his problems, then I'll see where that takes us."

Natalia nodded, defeated. "Okay. I'll try."

"Thank you. It'd be also great if you took care of this evidence."

"Yes ma'am," Natalia laughed. "God, all this burnt stuff. Looks like a barbecue gone wrong."

"OH GOD, DON'T MENTION FOOD!" Molly screamed and ran into the bathroom. Morning sickness, Natalia thought to herself and laughed silently. The consequence of being with Ryan is puking your guts out every morning.

That night, while eating a small dinner by the TV, Natalia realized that once again Ryan had forgotten the special, romantic dinner plan that she had requested. "Hey Ry," Natalia began, "are you forgetting something?"

"Don't think so," Ryan mumbled as he watched the movie.

"Well, I thought we were going to do something romantic."

Ryan looked at her, and his eyes softened. "I forgot. I'm sorry."

"That's okay, you can choose when you want to do it." Natalia looked at him closely. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, honey, there's nothing wrong."

"Because if there were, you'd tell me, right?"

"I guess," Ryan laughed. "Why are you asking?"

"Because you forgot our romantic dinner, and you're usually into that kind of stuff. You've said like three words to me for the past four hours since you've been home and you haven't even touched the fresh fudge brownies I made for you. What is going on?"

"I'm just concerned about Molly. She hasn't called once today."

"I talked to her today," Natalia admitted. "She sounded fine, but she did throw up a few times. She seemed happy enough."

"Okay, I'm glad," Ryan replied, and turned back to the movie.

"Ry?" Natalia asked, and suddenly she found the courage to ask what she knew was bugging her all day. "Ry, would you be happier if it was Molly in your arms right now?"

"What?" Ryan asked, surprised by her straightforwardness.

"You heard me, Ry," she whispered.

"Natalia, that's not fair…"

"Ryan, answer the question, no lying allowed."

"I…"

Had Natalia needed to hear his answer, she would have waited before storming out. Instead, Natalia heard the words off of his lips before he spoke them. She didn't give him a chance for explanation because she knew it would only hurt her more. Ryan, shocked, did little to stop her from leaving, and Natalia took this laziness as carelessness. As Natalia slammed the door, she realized the weight of the truth- he loved Molly more than her. It was no longer a question, and Natalia had no doubts on how she would proceed. She would go straight to Calleigh's house and cry in her arms until she fell asleep, with Calleigh humming soft lullabies into her soft brown hair. Natalia would go to work the next day and avoid both Ryan and Molly, even though the latter had done nothing wrong. Ryan would try to talk to her, but she would refuse, saying that there was nothing to be said. Natalia would return to her house after work and cry her eyes dry over a gallon of chocolate chunk ice cream.

But Ryan stopped her before she reached her car. He was wearing a t-shirt and flannel blue pajama pants, but he still ran out in the RaiN, grabbing her in a tight embrace in the pouring weather. As lightning flashed like a claw of white fire and the thunder boomed overhead, the light illuminated their heads as their lips met in a passionate embrace. Natalia had always been afraid to love- she had seen the signs of a falling relationship and attempted to run from it, but she knew it was inevitable. Instead of going to Calleigh's house to cry her eyes out until she fell asleep, avoiding Molly and Ryan, refusing an explanation, and eating a gallon of ice cream, Natalia would stand in the rain for hours, her arms wrapped around Ryan as the sky fell. But she didn't care.

Awww, happy ending… not for long… R&R