**A/N: Some more from Sookie's POV, a little of her background. I apologize in advance for the lack of lemons, but they're coming and it will be worth the wait. Oh yeah, and Charlaine Harris owns the characters, not me. I'm just responsible for their current actions.

Chapter 7

Eric let himself into Sookie's kitchen late the next morning. He started brewing a pot of coffee and tapped out a couple of Excedrin Migraine from the bottle Sookie kept by her microwave. If Sookie drank more then a beer or two with a meal or any alcohol at all on an empty stomach, she would have a raging headache the entire next day if she didn't nip it first thing.

As the coffee maker hissed steam signaling that the pot was done, heavy steps made their way down the staircase. Sookie came into the kitchen rubbing her eyes and looking miserable. Eric handed her a mug with one hand and the pills with the other. She took the medicine and headed toward the couch. She put the mug on the coffee table after taking a few sips and curled into a ball in the corner of the sectional, moaning and covering her eyes.

Eric stifled a chuckle. Sookie didn't drink recreationly often, but he had seen the resulting misery often enough to know what she needed and to find it humorous rather then alarming.

Sookie smelled coffee and willed herself downstairs. She felt like shit and it had nothing... well, almost nothing... to do with the alcohol from the previous night. She had laid awake until almost sunrise, fighting the urge to go to Eric. When sleep had finally come, it was uneasy. She was conflicted and didn't know how to handle it.

She know what her conflict was. She felt like she was losing her best friend. She also knew that she would be the world's shittiest friend ever if she didn't applaud him trying to find love.

But what was so wrong with her? Didn't she know him better then anyone? Didn't he know her better then anyone? Was that the problem? She knew better then anyone that she was damaged.

She had been only seven years old when her parents had died and Gran and taken her and Jason in. She struggled with separation anxiety for years afterward, forcing either Jason or Gran to let her sleep with them. She hadn't wanted to leave the security of home for school each day, so Gran had home schooled her.

The anxiety eventually lessened. She struggled to make herself self-reliant so she wouldn't be dependent on anyone else for anything. She had been doing a good job of it too, but she had been lonely. She didn't make friends easily. She dealt with it on her own until the quiet quarterback offered to tutor her.

She had been surprised by him. Anyone else with the "super jock" status that he had would have been cocky and arrogant. But he had been shy and focused on his goal of law school. She had admired him.

He had stood by her and helped her through the aftermath of her first (and only) prom. She had been so terrible to him during her time with Quinn. She had taken him for granted and swore she would never would again.

She had been so lonely when he left for New Orleans after he graduated. She lived for the breaks when he would come back to town and into her life again.

She could have kicked herself for allowing herself to become so dependent on Eric. Part of her had wanted to rip him away from Pam last night like a two year old with a toy, saying "He's MINE!"

She loved him being there to share her day with. She liked having meals with him. She liked being with him. He knew her well enough to wait out her temper tantrums for the squalls they were. He knew how to make her feel better when she was down. He gave her courage when she was scared.

She loved having sex with him. He was so in tune to her that everything was always perfect. He knew when she wanted things hard and fast for a quick release and when she wanted him to take his time. She had no basis for comparison, but he was an amazing partner in bed. She loved waking up in his arms. The thought of him sharing himself with anyone but her hurt like a physical blow.

She relaxed the ball that she was curled into and sighed. Eric, thinking her asleep, smoothed the hair off her face and left to work on his project. When she was sure he was deeply occupied, she slipped into his kitchen. She could hear faint Tchaikovsky coming from the upstairs. He always put his wallet, keys, and cell phone in the same place on the counter. She scrolled through his phone contacts until she found the name she was looking for. She scribbled the number on a napkin and crept back to her side to make a call.

She changed into jeans, flip flops, and Eric's Tulane practice jersey that she had claimed as a nightgown when they first moved in. She put on some dark sunglasses and drove off.

She walked into a sidewalk cafe and ordered a salad and sweet tea and waited, scanning the sidewalk. Finally, the person she'd been looking for appeared.

Pam looked cool and calm, and Sookie hated her a little for it. She knew that she had circles under her eyes behind the sunglasses and her hair was in a messy ponytail. Pam joined her at the table and ordered a Perrier and lime. "Darling, I didn't expect to hear from you. Did Eric ask you to meet me?"

"No, I didn't tell him I was calling you. I stole your number off his phone. I have to ask. I hope you won't tell him that I'm asking you this, but I don't have any other way to find out and I need to know. Did you sleep with Eric last night?"

Pam leaned back in her chair and evaluated Sookie. She took in her bedraggled appearance and monotone voice. "Would you care if I did?" she asked calmly.

Sookie rolled her eyes, although they were hidden by the sunglasses. "No, Pam, I faked being asleep, stole your phone number, called you, got dressed, came here, and asked because I don't give a shit. What do you think?"

Unmoved by the sarcasm, Pam asked, "Why?"

"Because he's my best friend," was Sookie's automatic response.

"And what makes you care who he has sex with? Why can't you ask him if it's a matter of friendship? Would you stop being his friend if he had sex with me?" Pam asked, her voice still as calm as a breeze.

Sookie was getting annoyed. "You haven't answered the question."

"I know," Pam responded. "I want to know what answer to give you."

"The truth, damn it!"

"My dear, for fear of sounding cliche, I don't know if you can handle the truth. I am beginning to consider you a friend, but Eric has become dear to me. If you want to know the answer, you need to ask him." She finished her drink and laid some bills on the table. "But you need to figure out what makes you want to know so badly." Pam stood to leave.

"Because I don't want to lose him!" Sookie blurted.

Pam sat back down. "Now, that is interesting. Lose him, how?"

Sookie sighed. "He's all I have. I have a brother, Jason, but he's starting his own little family, separate from me. And, to be honest, I don't really like him all that much. My grandmother died a few years ago. My parents died when I was little. Eric has been there for me, for years, when I had no one else. I can't handle losing someone else I love."

Pam smiled. "Ah, love. One can love in so many ways. Parental love, fraternal love, romantic love. How do you love Eric, Sookie? Like a brother? The way you're acting, I don't think so. How would you lose him if he had sex with me? Would you be interrogating me if I had had sex with, what's his name, Jason? And don't give me bullshit about him being married, because you know damn well what I mean," she said with her eyes narrowed.

"Eric is not the kind of guy who sleeps around. He wants to be with someone he loves," Sookie said sadly. "He had some one night stands in college, but he doesn't count those, so neither do I. If he falls in love with someone, I won't have him anymore."

Pam stood again. "Sookie, I want you to think very carefully about what you just said. Very carefully. Then go to Eric and ask him your questions. He will be able to give you far more satisfactory answers than I can right now." And she left.

Sookie sipped her tea, thinking, "What the hell did Pam mean, think about what I said? I know what I said." She speared her salad with force. "Why the fuck couldn't she just answer my fucking question? All I wanted was a simple yes or no."

She continued to think while she ate. "Okay, Eric's not a player. Otherwise, there'd be one of those number tickers like they have at the DMV on his door and a line in our parking lot." She smiled bitterly at the thought. "He hasn't had any girlfriends that I can remember. And I would know. So why would a guy as amazing as Eric not try to find someone?

"Because I've always been in the way. He's been holding my hand and protecting me for years, that's why. He's been sacrificing his own happiness to take care of me." She thought of Sophie's warning when they moved in and the reality of her words hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Well, I'm not going to hold him back anymore. I'm going to remove myself from the equation. It's going to hurt like hell, but Eric deserves a chance to be happy." She steeled her resolve and started making plans in her mind. She would travel; see places she had dreamed about when she was younger. She had unlimited funds at her disposal. She would pack and leave within the week. She paid her check and went shopping.

A few hours later, she pulled into her parking lot and saw the green BMW parked next to Eric's sturdy, red Toyota. "Well, she certainly didn't waste any time," thought Sookie, throwing a sour look at the cars.

She went into her office and booted up her laptop. All the information she had collected about Montessori training came up on the screen. She closed it, figuring she'd some back to it... sometime. She pulled up searches for The Bahamas, Ireland, Greece, Russia, Japan. All the places she had read about, but wanted to see in reality. She was so involved in planning her itinerary, she hadn't heard Eric come in.

"Whatcha doing, Sook?" he asked quietly. He wasn't smiling; it was clear he's seen her plans over her shoulder.

"Well," she said, forcing her voice to sound light, "I thought I might do some traveling. Get out of Louisiana for awhile."

"For how long?"

"Umm... probably four to six months. Maybe longer. I'm not sure right now."

"When are you leaving?" His voice was flat, belying no emotion. But his hands were clenched in tight fists.

"By the end of the week."

She watched as Eric silently turned and walked down her steps. A few moments later, she jumped as her door slammed. She closed her eyes. She hadn't felt this scared in a long time.

"What the fuck did you say to her, Pam?" Eric was trembling with fury and Pam's eyes widened at the profanity. Eric didn't swear often and it was unexpected. Pam had come over to tell Eric about her meeting with Sookie. She had left the cafe feeling satisfied that, while she had not lied or broken confidences, she had left Sookie looking in the right direction. "She's leaving! For months! SHIT!" He ran his hands though his hair and looked at her, his blue eyes crazed.

"Have you thought that this may be for the best? To give you distance to live without her in your life?" Pam asked. "What is that saying... if you love something, set it free?"

"And if it comes back, it's yours forever. Yeah, I know it." Eric stopped his pacing and collapsed in his recliner. "But I don't want distance! I've tried distance. I had it for a year and a half after high school while I was at Tulane. I was fucking miserable. I lived for the breaks when I would come back home to her. I don't know how to life my life without her in it."

Pam tilted her head while she thought. "How do you know she doesn't want you too? For God's sake, you two are practically married already. The only thing keeping it from being a marriage is the wall between your houses and a fucking ring. Hell, your relationship is better than some marriages. Longer lasting too. What the hell has stopped you from telling her what you want?"

"I told you: I push, she runs. But apparently, if I pull away, she runs too. I shouldn't have involved you. Things could have just stayed the same. But I trusted you, because you "know women'." He rolled his eyes and flicked her an irritated look.

Pam looked annoyed too, but at herself. "I do know women. But Sookie is a very strange woman. She doesn't react the way a normal woman would."

Eric smirked. "She never has. She is utterly unpredictable. I've always loved that about her." Pam rolled her eyes back at him and Eric glared. "So you think I should let her go?"

"Nope. Uh-uh, buddy. I'm through trying to help you with her, except for one final suggestion," she said, rising to leave. "Man the fuck up and and tell her what you want."

**A/N: Everyone who wants to smack Sookie upside her head, raise your hand. The writer's block is tightening it's grip, so please bear with me during delays. As always, please please please review. You guys can help drive the demon away. I will beg, if necessary.