Chapter 7

Sam was feeling better even though his throat was still raspy. He called Fiona since she was the only doctor he would tolerate at this point and she gave her diagnosis of post nasal drip. She said that the concoction he was taking would clear it up. That was a relief and she recommended the same thing for Dean. It was good to hear but in truth, Sam wanted to hear something different and from someone he missed.

He was sitting at the table in the kitchen nursing a glass of orange juice. He was saving that other juice that he figured was a better mixture than V8, for later. He also was nursing a bowl of soup that was warm but not scalding. It felt good on his throat. It also helped to try and steer his thoughts away from the fact that he missed Angela and was worried that she hadn't called to say anything.

He knew that he was turning into a big worry wart. He was making mountains out of molehills including the reason why she left for this place out in the middle of a European mountain range. Mostly he thought it was his fault since he did kiss her before she left. But she seemed to like it too. She responded and…

Sam's cell phone rang and he answered it, "Hello?"

Hi Sam. It's me.

"Hi Angie," Sam replied, aware that a large grin was starting to form on his face. "How's the research?" As much as he wanted to get into a conversation, he figured to take it slow and he didn't want to badger her with suppositions that could ruin any chance he had.

Slow… not productive at all. I forgot how annoying riddles can be.

Sam gave a slight chuckle at that. He understood fairly well since he had to look through obscure texts himself and they were hardly helpful at times. He replied, "Those old texts do like to through you for a spin."

But I like that old flowery language. It's like reading poetry.

Sam couldn't help but smile since it sounded like she was pouting and she actually was. She did like the language of the old writers. She would make literary analysis fun for kids if given the chance. He wished that when he was in school in Stanford. One of his guilty pleasures was watching her do her research and actually talk out what she discovered. She became animated about it and she looked… beautiful. That and he liked watching her knit. He would sit and keep her company while she worked on what she was doing.

Her injuries and recovery were an excuse to be near her and he learned to not pester how she was feeling. She didn't end up throwing a book at him and he got to be in her company. He remembered that was when she knitted the beanie that she hadn't given to Dean yet. He figured she was waiting for a moment to embarrass his older brother and he knew Dean would wear it though knowing his brother, he would keep it because he liked it.

Knowing that she was waiting, he replied, "I know. You sound nice when you recite it." His cheeks went red at what he just said. He closed his eyes thinking that he had said something that would embarrass her.

You're sweet, Sam. Thank you.

"Honest truth," Sam replied with honest feeling in his voice. He hoped she heard his feelings in his voice.

You're still sweet.

Sam felt his ears heat up. He heard the smile in her voice and it dared to raise his hopes up just a little. He tried to keep a calm conversation, "So… uh… how are things?"

Like I said. The riddles and stuff. And… I want to come home. I miss you.

"I miss you too," Sam replied before thinking out a response. It was the most honest response that was closest to revealing his feelings to her. Fiona made it sound so easy when she told him to tell Angela about how he felt. Then again she never had being the cause of the Apocalypse hanging over her head. "It's not the same without you and… I want… you… here."

That was lame to Sam's ears and it made him sound desperate. He had talked to girls before but Angela was not just any girl. She was different. She was special to him. And he just made a fool of himself on the phone in a conversation with her. That definitely was going to make things fucked up between them. He just hoped that he didn't make her embarrassed and think he was not worth her time.

I want to be there with you too. And I think I just might come home. As much as there is stuff here… I think what you and Dean came up with is a good idea and… there are some things I have to tell you…

Sam heard the longing in her voice. He wasn't sure by what she meant since it could mean she just wanted to be at home but… Then he heard her tone change, like there was something she wanted to tell them but it wasn't going to be good or she feared that it would change their opinion of her. He didn't blame her for that. He knew she wasn't proud of the things she did during her darker years and she knew they didn't really agree with her even talking to the other side, like Cary. Then there were the things she thought were her fault and… "It's okay Angie," he said softly. "We'll… we'll work it out but…" He paused to think about what he wanted to say and then added, "We may need a backup plan. And you know the people you are talking to. You'll find a way."

Are we that desperate?

Maybe. If only it is a way for you not to be hurt by this, Sam thought to himself. He replied, "I don't know. Maybe. Maybe your way… having a backup plan will be what makes sure we… gank the devil."

Maybe… just… I feel like I'm being ambushed. I forgot how… nosy they are.

Sam let out a bark of a chuckle. It sounded funny but he stifled it to not hurt her feelings. He couldn't help but smile and it grew when he heard her laugh with him. He said, "You have a way with words."

I was being polite.

"I know. Sometimes you just have to call it like it is."

Sam listened as he heard the gentle hum from her throat. He was still smiling at the sound of her voice. He recognized it as her being thoughtful. "It's okay to not be polite, Angie. But it is you."

Just a product of upbringing.

Sam heard the pleased tone in her voice. He reaffirmed with feeling, "It is you and… I wouldn't want you to change it." He swallowed a bit at that last statement since it sounded like he was being demanding.

You're always honest with me and… I appreciate it. It means a lot to know that there are some things about me that are not that bad. Thank you.

"Always," Sam replied, "You are a good person, Angie. That hasn't changed. Not for me."

Always persistent and gentle… it's you.

Sam was surprised at the statement and yet he felt warmth coming from it. He felt it hit him in the chest and it did more than all the chicken soup and her concoctions ever could. While the persistent part sounded almost like a bad thing and it had been made to seem like that by his brother, from her… it felt like it was a good thing. The gentle part made him seem girly but she made it seem like a positive quality and it was her opinion… that was an important part. It was also the same opinion about her. "I could say the same about you. You are a good person and… I mean it."

I know you do. You know the most honest of statements comes from the heart. Somehow one can always tell. And when you hear it… Nothing else matters.

"Which is why I know you'll find something. I know you don't like to quit especially when you feel there is a chance. Took me long enough to see that."

Don't beat yourself up Sam. We're not perfect. I don't expect it and I'm not one to judge. I'm the last person to do that. And I've been around awhile.

"I know." Sam didn't want the conversation to turn into a conversation about redirecting blame and all that. They had done that plenty and he knew she still beat herself up when she felt that things seemed hopeless. "So… are you going to come home?"

I want to. There are some things I think… no… I know you and your brother should know. I just…

"Angie, we won't throw you out." Sam knew she was very timid about telling them about things she had done. Some of them were worse than what he and Dean had done and she had done them with the best intentions in mind and always so that she would suffer for it. "I won't do that. I know that you have done things and put into gory detail would make people scream for the nuthouse but I know you and even if those were your dark days… if you truly were gone you would have done worse. I don't know how else to say it…" Sam gave a cough and took a sip of his drink. He hadn't realized how emotional he started to get.

You're right.

Sam wasn't sure if he heard right since she had spoken so softly. "What?"

You're right. I've told myself and others the same thing. Living with the things you've done is the hard part but knowing that you made the best choice possible… it makes it easier to swallow. Maybe it's why I liked being around Mac and his team so much. The things we saw in Russia and the Middle East… a soldier or warrior thing…

Sam sat up in his seat. His soup was now long forgotten having been caught up in his conversation. "Sounds like you learned a lot from your friends."

Life's an experience Sam. I see the world differently because I've seen what I've seen. Though I think I learned more hanging around you and Dean than I have the past few centuries. And I rather like it. Well… I guess I'll try again in the morning and if I don't find anything, I'll come home.

"Sounds good," Sam replied, pleased that she wanted to come home. "But do what you have to do and take your time. I mean it."

I've been away from my boys long enough. I dread facing Dean's dirty socks.

"It's a system," Sam teased, pleased to hear her teasing laugh on the other end. "Do what you have to do Angie. It's okay."

Okay. Thank you, Sam. Oh by the way, I like that Lilah is getting practice with you and Dean. And we know Cerebus likes you anyway.

Sam said his good bye after getting in a few laughs at his expense once he figured out Dean must have sent her some pictures or something. He hung up after she did and sat there thinking about their conversation. Some of the things she said made him a little hopeful though they could easily suggest nothing more than a familial bond. It would be cruel to his heart if that was so but he was willing to risk it and take it that it was a little more. He would like to have more of an opportunity to talk with her and made a note to try for when she came home.

He went back to eating his soup since he wasn't about to waste good food and he could hear Angela scolding him about not eating enough and he was sick. His lip twitched at the thought since he would tease her back. He never thought it would be this difficult to talk to a woman and he usually didn't have a problem when he wasn't caught off guard. Angela was different and he wanted it to be right.

Angela hung up her phone and sighed in contentment as she rested her chin on her arms. She was lying on her bed where she had retreated after a not to appealing dinner. She took that back since Giovanni was the best chef she had ever met though he loudly proclaimed she was better. She just didn't have any appetite since her discussion with Master Ru.

Normally she would have just gone to bed stating she wasn't hungry but she remembered Sam's persistent and gentle request about not hurting herself. While she wasn't physically around them, she still felt the need to honor that simple request. Sam never asked much from her but that he did and it touched her in a way that if the same request had been made by someone else, she would have disregarded it even if she felt a kinship with them.

As it were, she shared the table with Roman and Odin, finding good company with the young werewolves, much to the surprise and disdain of a couple of vampires that had stopped there. They couldn't believe that she, a Halfling would shun her own kind to sit with the dogs. She knew that was their thoughts having been around the aristocrats long enough to know a few things. And she did know a few things too. She ended up telling them that she preferred the company of people who weren't aristocratic assholes.

Her declaration did shock a few of the Alchemists who remembered her as a sweet little girl and the truth was she never talked like that back then. She really didn't. She actually had a flair for being insulting while carrying on polite conversation to the point where the intended victim didn't know whether or not they had been insulted or they knew it and she set the situation to the point where to lash out violently would have been in poor taste. It was what fed her disdain of the elitists who thought they were better simply because of their bloodline.

Angela made no apologies for her behavior and simply stated that sometimes politeness was overrated and that Lady Godiva had the right idea. Roman and Odin ended up snorting with laughter since they knew why she used that exampled. Giovanni was also laughing since he rarely heard his beautiful bella make references like that and in good taste. Angela simply sat back down, picked up her fork and continued to eat like nothing happened.

Looking back on it, she wished the Winchesters were there. At least Dean would have appreciated it. He would have at least understood the Lady Godiva reference though she had the sneaking suspicion that it would have had more to do with the porno variety. Sam… he would get that little smile of his like he was trying to hide his shock but also blush like a school boy. She thought it rather funny and adorable since he had heard Dean's even cruder sexual references almost all his life. Though he did have a genuine laugh when he surprised Dean by being equally crude.

Adjusting her position and grabbing a pillow to rest her chin on, Angela thought more about what had happened in the past year down to the last few months. Except for the few months she couldn't remember, Sam's demeanor towards her had changed. Not in the bad way. He still got overprotective when they went into bars and the men decided she was worth it to hit on and he was the first to defend her.

Dean told her that it was bad when she had been taken by Carter. He filled in the blanks where Sam left them out and probably because he was concerned about her since she had experienced that. Yet it warmed her heart to know that they were looking for her. She wasn't sure about what to think about Sam's behavior and determination and the one man army bit since she had seen the same sort of thing from Dean when Sam got hurt. Hell she was guilty of it with both of them since she tore apart those Lupei that beat the crap out of them and her showdown with Joseph. It was hardly a good indicator of feelings.

The compliments had her nervous. Sam had always given them when he thought it merited it but after her stint of being a four year old… he offered them much more freely. The general overall being nice was enough to make her nervous and she actually considered that she might have done something despicable as her four year old self and it was basically what Dean did when he wanted to preserve the lie… like when he didn't give the whole truth about what he did to bring Sam back and then keeping her involvement to almost nonexistent.

Then there was the very close proximity of sleeping in the same space. She said that it was sharing sleeping space more to put Sam at ease. Yet when he held her after Fiona patched her up… she felt safe. It was a feeling she knew she had felt before but couldn't recall it. And she liked being close to Sam but it horrified her that it was his scent that made it hard to stay away. She worked to keep things normal but there were those times that his scent drove her crazy and Jo had to go and tell her the reason why for it and make her feel more embarrassed.

Then their first kiss. True Sam had kissed her before but it was always that brotherly peck on the cheek; polite salutes given depending on the situation like when he and Dean separated. That time after taking care of Alû… that was different. The kiss was a hard press to the lips but she could feel the emotion behind it and when he released her, it left a pleasant buzz even though he surprised her with it. And she liked it. And she made it seem like she understood Sam's reasoning for it; that it was relief but she got the feeling that was not what he wanted to hear when they had their walk and talk.

She liked it so much that it surprised herself when she responded to the second time Sam kissed her. It wasn't the sudden one like the first time. Maybe it was the heat of the moment since she did ask him to try and ambush her and then they sort of got into a fist fight. It was hardly that since the strikes were halfhearted at best… until they locked limbs. The vague memory of when she taught Sam to be a better swordsman entered her mind but washed away by the way he looked at her.

Maybe it was the close proximity or maybe the embarrassing thought that she was aroused by the heat of battle did the trick… either way, the way that he looked at her… The second time was better than the first and she didn't resist. She let him in and she went with her own instincts and feelings and returned it. And it felt good even when Sam pulled her on her hips and they were really close. The whole experience had her heady and she had wondered what would have happened if Dean hadn't come out looking for them and told them about a job. Perhaps it was best she didn't know since the experience made her want to blush.

It made her blush now because if she really wanted to be honest with herself, she wanted Sam to kiss her like that again and see where it went. She wasn't into loose relationships or that friends with benefits thing she had heard. She wasn't into one night stands like Dean. She valued her relationships and she suspected that Sam did too even though the life he led didn't leave much room for that. The more time she spent with Sam was making it harder to hide her feelings. Not that she did a good job in the first place.

Dean knew from day one when she realized her feelings and thinking about it now, he was the one that subtly and not so subtly pushed them together. She got the sneaking suspicion that some of Dean's flirting was more to annoy Sam and do that, if she were to do it, seemed petty and she wasn't going to do that. She would fight yes and probably with more violence than necessary. She did want to dismember Becky the last two times she saw the girl and it made feel ashamed and very uncomfortable that she felt that strongly and with a human.

A knock at her door caught her attention. She turned to look at the door but didn't move from her position. Her nose told her who it was as well as the shuffling outside. She smiled slightly and called out, "It's open. Come in, Orin."

The door opened and Orin walked in with a nervous look on his face mingled with a grin. "I'm not going to ask how you even knew it was me. You'll just say that it was your nose."

"You're right," Angela replied with a chuckled. She hadn't moved from her bed but she propped herself up on her elbows. "So… what has you stopping by?"

Orin shuffled a bit uneasily on his feet. He was more nervous at the fact that she was a respected knowledgeable person and he was only a boy and he was in her room. He did manage to find his voice and gave his answer, "To thank you. For standing up for me and Roman."

Angela made a slight sound that almost rude and replied in her more devil may care tone, "I can stand those pure blooded hypocritical assholes." She saw the look of shock on Orin's face and chuckled, "You've heard me say worse this past week when training. What's with the schoolboy look?"

"That you are a well-respected person and I'm here in your room… alone." He stared at her wondering if she was going to see his point anytime soon. "Alone."

"Yes and I've had men older than you alone in my room and not in the capacity you're thinking of." Angela moved to a sitting position on her bed and crossed her legs. "And I've shared sleeping space with men too. My line of work… can't always afford to be picky."

Orin blinked at her response. After a week, he still wasn't used to her lofty bluntness she used to put people at ease. He had time believing what she said when she uttered it in that manner and yet others told him it was true. "But you are respected," he finally allowed.

Angela nodded, "Which is why I am sitting instead of lying down." She put her hands in her lap and sighed. "So… any reason other than thanking me you came in here for?"

Orin shifted on his feet. He did have a reason for coming in but he didn't actually think that she would be that willing to answer any questions he had. Well he should have known since she was willing to help him out and she didn't have to. He considered the possibility that his line of questioning might make her uncomfortable. And he had to let Roman goad him into this telling him that if he wanted to know, he had to ask her directly.

"I'm waiting Orin," Angela offered softly.

Taking the bull by the horns, Orin sighed and began, "Just that… I want to know why you are here?" He gulped a little and strove to clarify, "I mean that you came here and you've done nothing but help me out. Most people who come here are here for training or searching for something. Not teaching." He fell silent since he was certain he was going to get the look that made him want to sit.

"I am searching… and running."

Orin frowned at that. "Searching and running?"

Angela looked at Orin, not sure about how to go about saying it. She took a breath and sighed, "Well I'm trying to find a way to kill the devil."

"Kill the devil?"

"Yep. Because the Apocalypse is on our doorstep and nasty things coming," she offered in her glib way. She sobered though and continued, "I am looking for a way to kill the devil because I don't like where the 'written' way is going."

"Why question what is written and known?"

"Because it doesn't always have to be that way." Angela arched her back as she stretched. "And because I like spitting in the face of dicks with wings." She looked off to the side and softly added, "And because I don't like things taken from me… even when the things I do are enough to drive them away. And I know plenty that would drive him away."

A/N: Sam is feeling better now that he talked to Angie and it seems she feels the same but still has reservations. Sigh for Angie... so stubborn. This and more on Asked and Answered...