Chapter Seven: Piece of Happiness

I ran my tongue over my teeth again and again, almost afraid that I would feel the slight prick of sharpened fangs as I stared blankly at the ceiling. It was Monday I think, two days after my life was turned into a living nightmare. I was lying in bed, drilling myself into insanity with the thought of what I had become. No—what I always was.

"I'm a Jinchūriki." I murmured, voice haggard from disuse. "I'm a walking prison for a demon that wants to kill everyone I know and love." I continued. "And apparently, I'm not a very good prison at all."

Tsunade made it very clear that I was different. Somehow I always knew. I mean, why else would everyone avoid me? It all made sense. No one wants their child hanging around a ticking time bomb. Yes, and that's exactly what I was.

Tsunade's voice rang in my head, clear as it was two days ago as I sat in her office, wide-eyed and destroyed.

"Naruto, the village was attacked the very day you were born. The nine-tails was released when your mother was in labor. You see, a Jinchūriki's power weakens when they give birth. Madara took advantage of this and regained control over the Kyūbi. In the process she died. The Fourth Hokage had no choice but to seal the demon inside of you, the last Uzumaki of your clan. It was tragic…the Hokage also died that day…he was your father and hero."

My heart skipped a beat. "My-my father was the—" I couldn't even comprehend it. My nails dug into the armrest, stripping back small peels of wood.

"Yes, your father was the infamous Fourth Hokage. He wanted you to be known as a hero, but, Naruto, he had too many enemies. If anyone where to find out, you would surely have been in danger and—"

I stood up with my arms flattened to my sides. Every part of me was quivering, even the very depths of my soul. "All my life," I began. "All my fucking life, I've never known a damn thing about who I am or what I am. I've lived alone and hated. People would whisper about me and shun me. One time, a full grown man started throwing rocks at me. I was only six, damn it. I was treated like I had some fucking disease. But that wasn't the worst part. No. No." My teeth clenched as the words seeped out of my mouth like acid. "The worst part was not knowing why! And now I know it's because my father decided to turn me into a monster! Thanks, Tsunade, for telling me now! Thanks for keeping me guessing! It made life interesting! It did!" My knees gave out as I collapsed to the floor. My strength left me as the fury dulled into a crushing sadness. Tears burned at the corner of my eyes as I gazed into the hard wood floor. "And let me guess, the reason why I hear Kurama—the reason I can feel him inside me only now is because—"

"The seal is breaking." Tsunade whispered what I already knew like it was a death sentence. But hey, it kind of was. "There's a reason why demons are invading the Land of Fire. We didn't realize this but over the years the Kyūbi has been releasing small amounts of chakra. He's been attracting all sorts of lower rank demons straight to Konoha. Now that the demons are close enough, he managed to control one. He made it kidnap you during the last mission. When Kiba reported to me, he said he found you tied up and everyone couldn't help but notice that your chakra felt different ever since. The Kyūbi made the demon that captured you, weaken the seal. That's why the demon fox is so much stronger now."

"Why-why didn't you just kill me?" My voice didn't sound right. But then again, nothing did. I was literally just told that I'm the reason why demons are destroying my home. How many people died because of me? How many people have suffered? Wouldn't have been easier to just kill me?

"Honestly, the council has considered taking your life."

My heart ached. Despite that being the best decision they could make, it still didn't change the fact that it hurt.

"But, we don't know if the Kyūbi would die with you or be released. A Jinchūriki has never been killed before while still containing the Kyūbi. It would be too risky for us. Although, the Kyūbi has had many chances to take your life, it has refrained from doing so."

'Killing you would be as pointless as killing a fly. I will escape with my own strength and then I will consider taking your life.'

"Ah…" My eyes widened. The Kyūbi was keeping me alive simply out of pride—on a goddamn whim.

"Now that the seal is weakening, we must find someone who is capable of fixing it."

"That should be easy." My head popped up, suddenly filled with hope. "We have hundreds of great shinobi who specialize in seals."

Tsunade looked down and shook her head. "No. The Kyūbi requires a special form of seal that was passed down from Hokage to Hokage. Sadly, the Fourth died before he could pass on the technique."

Great. So it was hopeless…

"The only one still left alive that knows the technique is a powerful sage name Jiraiya." Tsunade's eyes narrowed into a sizzling glare. "But he disappeared a few years ago. No one knows where he is now."

"So, we're screwed. Is that what you're saying?"

"No, we are going to find him no matter what it takes." Tsunade announced as a matter of fact.

Finding Jiraiya…a man that has been missing for years is my only hope? Great. Fucking dandy.

The past two days have been a blur ever since Tsunade's little confession. I left after that and wobbled my way home, running in to people without a damn bit of reserve.

Now, here I am, rotting in bed. I tried to sleep, but every time I close my eyes I can see a night bathed in a crimson glow. I also tried to eat, but my stomach won't hold anything down. I can feel myself transforming into nothing but a walking husk. My body is fading into the shadows that stick to the corners of my room.

Nothing. I'm nothing.

'Stop being such a pathetic whelp.'

"Leave me alone." I hissed. The fox spoke for the first time since I talked to Tsunade. All it has been doing for the past two days is chuckling randomly and somehow I can feel it thinking, plotting. I'm so afraid, but I'm too tired to care. I speak to it brazenly and low.

'I wish I could.'

"Then kill me. It would be easy." I sat up in bed and slumped off onto the floor. That was my worthless attempt at trying to get on my feet.

'Fool. I have no body. How do you expect me to kill you like this?'

My eyes widened ever so slightly.

"But you controlled that demon. You could have—"

'Don't make me say unnecessary things! I used too much chakra controlling that worthless excuse for a demon. I almost drove myself back into unconsciousness…I will not risk that again. At least not until I've gathered enough strength.'

"Oh…uh. You're pretty honest for a supposed monster." I didn't know what to think. If I wasn't so sure this creature hated me, I would swear it was trying to cheer me up.

'I'm patient. I will wait till I am powerful enough to escape on my own. Regretfully, I'm not sure how long that will take, so in the meantime, I prefer my host to stop acting so absolutely pathetic…'

"Ah…"

'It's extremely irritating.'

"Fine. You don't have to—" I was interrupted by a knock at the door. "So, we have a visitor. Great." I waited a moment, yet the Kyūbi didn't comment. I sighed and dragged myself up off the floor and walked to the door.

When I opened the door I was greeted by the person I wanted to avoid the most. "S-Sakura, what are you doing here?" Her beautiful, light eyes darkened as she looked me over. Her pink hair was tied back into a high ponytail which was so different. She always wore it down and in her arms were several paper bags.

"Naruto, you look horrible." She shook her head and pushed past me, walking straight into my living room and then into the kitchen.

"Ah, hey!" I began. "I didn't say you could come in." She glanced back at me as she placed the bags onto the counter next to the stove and toaster.

"I didn't ask for permission." She sighed and began to unload pasta cases, vegetables and a bunch of other groceries from the bags. "Iruka-sensei said that you've been coped up in your apartment for two days. And since I know you're incapable of cooking or providing yourself with any amount of sustenance, I assumed you have yet to eat anything other than toast."

Honestly, I haven't even had that…But she didn't have to know. I grumbled to myself and sat on the little island counter in the middle of the kitchen.

"Look, I don't know what happened the other day and frankly it's none of my business, but—" Sakura turned to me and placed a warm, gentle hand on my shoulder. "I've been worried sick about you."

My heart shuddered as life came back into my body in the form of heat, spreading from the very center of myself and then to my fingers. I was alive again and all it took was her touch.

"S-Sakura, you don't have to—" I looked down and found myself at a loss for words.

She smiled lightly, that kind of smile that always makes my chest ache in a horribly sweet way. Sakura turned away and continued to produce more groceries from the bags.

"So," I began awkwardly, "What's for dinner?" My stomach churned and bubbled with hunger at the very thought of eating Sakura's homemade cooking.

She chuckled and said, "Ramen of course. I thought you're favorite food would cheer you up."

My very soul lit up. Oh, god….Don't flail. Don't—Sakura is standing in my kitchen, cooking me ramen. Oh, please tell me I have a cute apron somewhere. Ah, that would make this picture perfect.

I could feel that my face probably looked absolutely goofy as my entire body filled with the purest kind of joy. Sakura, with her sparkling eyes, suddenly asked, "Naruto, do you have a cooking apron?"

I flailed off the counter and landed straight on my back, but shot up off the floor as if gun powder flowed through my veins instead of blood. Every part of me was tingling with excitement and utter glee. "I'll go look!" I said with a huge grin and sped out of the kitchen to rummage around in my storage closet. As I rifled through old boxes and dusty shelves, I could hear Sakura humming a gentle song under her breath as she turned on the stove top. I paused my panicked search and floated in the rhythm of her voice. "Ah, this must be what happiness means." A soft, bubbling laugh escaped my lips.

"Naruto, did you find an apron?" Sakura called from the kitchen.

"Ah," I snapped out of my little happy place and grabbed the dusty, unused apron that Iruka-sensei gave me when I first moved in. "Yeah! I found it!" With that, I ran to Sakura and handed it to her. "Sorry," I muttered as I scratched the back of my head in embarrassment. "It's kind of old."

"No," she smiled. "It's perfect."

Ah, my heart can't take much more of her smile.

"I'm glad to see you're back to your old self, Naruto." I didn't notice how tense Sakura's was until she just relaxed. It was as if a great weight had been lifted.

"Ah, yeah. Sorry I looked so uh—"

"Scary?" Sakura chuckled and turned back to the stove. I stared at her in shock. Scary? I looked…scary…

My heart sank. Sakura was afraid of me….

"You know, Naruto, Sasuke got into a fight with Kakashi-sensei."

"W-what? Why?" I asked. The shock of hearing that sort of outweighed the previous surprise.

"I'm not sure exactly. Sasuke went to see Kakashi-sensei. I tagged along, worried, you know?"

Yeah. Yeah. Always concerned about Sasuke. Meh.

"Well, he asked what happened to you, why you looked so upset, but Kakashi-sensei wouldn't say anything. He said it was none of our business. After that, Sasuke got angry and demanded that he tell the truth. Well, things just escalated from there. Now, Sasuke is under house arrest after putting a huge hole in the side of Kakashi-sensei's house."

Ah…idiot. "That sounds like something he would do." I sighed.

"Naruto, I'm scared. Things are happening around us that I don't understand. Everyone is so worked up. Most of the shinobi have been sent out on a wild goose chase, looking for some old sage that I don't think is even alive anymore."

"Jiraiya…" I murmured.

"Eh, yeah, actually, yes. That's his name, but how did you know? Please don't tell me they're trying to send you off too?" Sakura walked over to me and grabbed my hands in hers. "You're not fit enough right now. Please tell me you won't go—"

My hands tingled under her touch. "Uh, um. No, no, I'm wasn't told to go. Um, Kakashi-sensei mentioned it to me, so heh."

"Oh thank goodness." Sakura breathed a sigh of relief and released my hands. I was tempted to reach for them again. "No one even knows why we're looking for this man. We don't even know where to start."

It's because of me. My lips parted, so eager to tell her everything, but every iota of my being told me not to. What if Sakura found out that I was a monster? She would never talk to me again, never come near me…

And she would especially never love me…not like how I so desperately love her.

Next Chapter: I held him close, my body quivering with an unimaginable amount of anguish. His blood soaked through my clothes and warmed my ice cold skin. Oh god…What had I done?

Author notes: Review and tell me what you guys think. Thanks for reading.