This chapter focuses on the past, only. Also, warning: this chapter contains a sexual scene and dub-con themes. You know the drill: if you don't like, don't read.

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Just To Say We Still Remember

Chapter 7: VII

Korra had surely made up her mind about her betrothal; she kept telling herself it was purely political and Amon assured her of that. Never in a million years had she imagined that coming to Republic City would lead to that. How strange this destiny thing is, surely.

…

Korra assembled everyone to tell them the news: Mako, Bolin, Asami, Tenzin and Tarrlok, who she'll use to arrange a press conference. She sat at the head of the table as she waited for everyone to arrive. She kept fidgeting with her hands and she trembled like mad at the anticipation of their reactions; will it be anger, confusion, or will she be congratulated for her sacrifice?

When everyone sat down, Korra cleared her throat and stood up shakily. She began, "Everyone, I have a big announcement, and I don't want you to freak out: I-I have made a deal…with Amon." Her announcement has already sparked protests and shock, and she hasn't even gotten to the best part. "He's made a suggestion and…I had no choice but to agree…he suggested that…we…the two of us…marry, for political reasons."

The roar of protests and disbelief could not compare to the previous ones. Tenzin managed to calm everyone down just enough to speak, "Korra, have you thought this through?"

"Yes, I have. I-"

"Are you insane?! You can't do this, you can't trust that psycho!" Mako yelled.

"It's a trick, Korra!" Bolin added.

Korra's brows knitted at Mako. She continued, "It's purely for show, don't worry. We'll work together to stabilize the situation in the City."

"That's a tad extreme, Korra," Tarrlok spoke up.

"I know, but…" Korra put her face in her hand and sighed, "…I don't know what else to do. Amon's lost control just as much as we have."

After about an hour of bickering, arguing, pleading, they agreed to be by her side no matter what, but they'll keep an eye on Amon just in case. Tarrlok agreed to arrange a speech for the two of them to announce their engagement and to help with the wedding that will, no doubt, be a big event.

After the crowd dispersed, Korra felt the need to make things clear… with Mako. Luckily, she found him at her usual look-out cliff, alone. Grinning at her luck, she moved to sit beside him. "Hey, Mako."

He turned his head and bumped his shoulder with hers, a smile on his lips. "Hey."

A long moment of silence followed, then Mako spoke up, "Korra, are you sure you know what you're doing? You're throwing your life away."

Korra bowed her head, but then looked at him with a reassuring smile and put a hand on his shoulder. "I know what I'm doing; don't worry, Mako. It won't be a real marriage. I'll be able to be with anyone I want." Korra assured him, hoping that he'd pick up on the hint.

Mako sighed in relief of her confidence and replied, "That's good to know. I'm glad."

Mako left soon after to catch his ferry. Korra, for some reason, felt more confident that he did, in fact, have feelings for her. Korra thought that later that night, she should pay Mako a surprise visit.

…

Korra snuck out of her room just before midnight and waterbended her way to the City and walked towards the Arena, knowing that Mako would be alone that night. She put on a disguise due to the situation in the City which included a long, brown trench coat with a big hood that covered her eyes perfectly and matching leather gloves.

As she entered the Arena through a back entrance, she found the stairs that led to the apartment and quietly ascended them.

Korra couldn't help but feel a bit giddy and optimistic as she slowly approached Mako – she allowed herself to think only of positive outcomes and a 'happily ever after' with Mako because she deserves that much, right?

When she reached the top of the stairs, she took a deep, calm breath to center herself, and, off she goes…but, there was a sound – a voice. Korra knows that voice. With her heart in her throat and ears ringing, Korra peeked into the room and saw the source of the voice: Asami – that is, she saw her back and her black hair flowing down it and Mako – Mako, the person she came to see, was looking at his girlfriend oh so lovingly as his hand caressed her face – he looked happy. With Asami – not with Korra.

Korra recoiled roughly, but didn't make a sound. She turned around and took a seat on the step as she covered her mouth with her hands to prevent a squeak from coming out. Her eyes stung. She did not see that coming. All her excitement had caused her to forget about Asami and maybe the fact that Bolin wasn't home was because Mako asked him to leave him alone with his girlfriend. With Asami – not her.

Korra carefully but quickly got out of there as fast as she could and as soon as she got out on the empty street, she burst out in tears and a panic attack and clutched her chest, simply feeling the heartbreak. Still in tears, Korra began to walk aimlessly, sorting out her thoughts.

Korra realized that Mako didn't, in fact, have feelings for her whatsoever; how could she have allowed herself to think he did? She read too much into their conversations because she needed him to feel the same about her. Why would he want to be with Korra if he looks at Asami like that? She was stupid. She shouldn't have come.

Korra leaned up against an alley wall to catch her breath. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her pants to warm her hands up. Her eyebrow cocked up when she felt something small in her hand. She pulled it out and unfolded it to reveal an address. She gasped as she realized who it belonged to. She started to think; that's not far from here, and she didn't feel like going home, anyway.

She slowly went in her chosen direction with her mind set, but still not completely sure what to say or do once she reached said destination.

She got to a rural part of the City with half the street lights dead, the pavement littered with trash and rats scurrying around the place. It kind-of suits Amon, as she thinks about it.

She stood in front of the door, which faced the street, and studied the piece of paper over and over thinking, how, just how will she enter: knock? It's not like he ever knocks, and it's not like she's coming over for freaking tea-

"What are you doing?" Korra yelped and jumped back as the man in question opened the door unexpectedly, wearing a thin, white, short sleeved shirt, black cotton pants and, unsurprisingly, his mask. Does he ever take the thing off?

"Amon! I…uh-"He shook his head and roughly pulled her inside by the arm, looking both ways before closing the door.

He turned to her and crossed his arms, his voice annoyed, "What are you doing here at this hour?"

Korra swallowed back the urge to point out his hypocrisy. Really, she didn't know how to answer that question; why did she come, exactly? She slid back her hood. "I, um…told everyone the news and…wanted to…tell you?"

"I don't think that is so important that you need to show up this late." He blankly stated, but his face and stance softened.

Korra looked away with her brows knitted and her lower lip between her teeth.

"Are you…crying?" Korra's head snapped up; she didn't realize she was.

She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and sniffled. "It doesn't matter…I…" Her voice almost cracked, so she stopped right there.

Amon sighed; 'it must be a teenage thing.' In a heartbeat, he was behind her, taking her coat off. Korra's heartbeat registered the contact, but she immediately realized what he was doing and followed his lead by taking off her gloves. "Take your shoes off," handed her his old house shoes, "I'll go make tea." How…nice of him.

Korra nodded and bit her lip. She put her feet into said shoes –big, but comfy- and followed him into the kitchen. She sat at the table and took in the surroundings while he busied himself with the kettle; his whole place was small and rustic and falling apart, the colours all brown and a sickly yellow which gave the place a dull but somehow homey atmosphere.

Korra found herself staring at Amon's back as he was rummaging through his shabby cupboard; she noted his slightly darker complexion, his silky-looking, short dark hair and his well-defined build as the shirt hugged every muscle of his back.

Korra shivered and started scratching her sweaty palms. Why was she still looking?

Her mind was still in a blur after her recent semi-mental-breakdown and the feeling of hollowness that still resided in her body. "How did you know I was coming?" She blurted out.

"I didn't."

"Then why'd you put the mask on?"

He didn't answer and Korra didn't press the issue any further.

Amon came over to the table, presumably to pick up the dirty dishes off it that Korra didn't even notice were there, but before that could happen though, Korra acted on impulse and jumped out of her seat and stood in front of him, looking him in the eye. Amon stared back just as intensively as she did.

Confused, he was about to say something before Korra threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against the lips of his mask and started to desperately garb on to him, pressing her body against his. Amon was too stunned to react immediately.

He eventually grabbed her wrists and pulled her off him. He shook her as he spoke: "What in the world are you doing?"

She didn't answer him; the tips of her fingers were on his shoulders and she hung her head in shame – she honestly didn't know what she was doing. Amon shoved her back as gently as he could so she wouldn't fall back. "Don't embarrass yourself."

Korra recoiled, feeling so pathetic and berating herself for looking like an idiot in front of him – his rejection was similar to Mako's, but she wasn't sure which was worse. "I – I'm sorry. I thought…" Korra turned her head to the side and bit her lip roughly to keep herself from crying. He's not supposed to see her so weak and pathetic.

Amon took a seat across from her and so did she. "What made you believe I would-"

"I just…had a bad night. Let's drop it." Amon didn't care much, but he did feel a bit sorry for her, which was unacceptable. He didn't say a word and neither did she for a long time.

He poured their teas and they went on in silence. Amon studied her with a raised eyebrow the whole time while she looked away. Why, just why did she have to go and do that? Not once has Amon imagined Korra as a sexual presence – with her being a teenager and the Avatar – he never allowed himself to think such thoughts, and now he can't stop undressing her with his eyes. Not even proposing marriage to the girl has caused any fantasies to pop into his thoughts. He shook his head.

Rain had started to fall and beat furiously against the roof and windows, which eliminated any chance of Korra leaving any time soon. The power went out soon after and Amon had to stand up to find a candle. They already drank their tea so: "You can stay here; you'll sleep on the couch in my bedroom."

Korra nodded; she still felt incredibly stupid about herself, but his politeness made it easier to deal with.

She stood up to follow him through the dark and into his room. As he set the candle down, Korra quickly surveyed the room; it was small, humble and from what she could see, the same bland colour as the kitchen. The bed was in the center and the couch in front of it. It'll do.

Amon turned around to say something but quickly forgot. Due to the small size of the room, he bumped right into Korra and felt everything; her heat, her heartbeat, her breasts…Korra felt it too. She inhaled sharply as he lifted his hand and brushed away an unnoticed tear from her cheek with his thumb. He doesn't know why he did that.

That did it – that moment right there; Korra stood on her toes and slowly reached up with her hands to trace the edges of his mask, both of them swallowing each other's hot, desperate breaths the whole time. Amon grabbed her wrists to stop her again, but it merely seemed as though he was urging her. Their eyes met, which caused an intense electric current to shoot through the space between them, and they both succumbed. He let go of one of her wrists and shifted his mask upwards, revealing his lips to her and pressed them against hers.

Korra's whole body was in a state of shock; she kept telling herself she wanted it, over and over again, so she reciprocated the best way she could.

She never imagined her first kiss would be with this man, under these circumstances – it was hardly romantic, but…she couldn't pull away.

Amon's hands started to run up and down her sides, memorizing every curve and muscle in her hard yet soft body, and his body was responding significantly – this moment made him recall every encounter he had with her, but in a different perspective. He viewed her in a different perspective.

Korra had no idea of his age but, unlike him, has thought of Amon in that way – she was just young and curious – but never, ever has she actually considered being in this predicament…but after she convinced herself that Mako would never be with her – the only person Korra considered having intimate relations with – she started to see other possibilities in a desperate attempt to cope with the heartbreak. She was starting to rethink her choice.

Amon dragged the both of them closer to the bed and gently laid Korra on her back. He leaned back on his knees in between her legs to take off his mask and shirt. Due to the single lit candle, Korra could only make out faint contours of his face and chest.

Amon proceeded to slowly take off her clothes and throw them beside the bed, followed soon by the rest of his clothes. Korra looked away biting her lip and started to shake uncontrollably at the anticipation. Amon noticed this and started getting nervous himself – surely an attractive and likable girl like her has done this before, right? Amon cupped her cheek tenderly and turned her gaze to his in an attempt to calm her. She sighed.

Korra kept reminding herself that she asked for this, that she wanted it, but she was too terrified, despite everything – still, she refused to show Amon weakness, so she didn't make a sound.

Amon leaned in slowly gingerly placing his lips right under her jaw and trailing them down, between her bare breasts and above her navel, all of which made Korra involuntarily shiver and grip the sheets tightly to prevent any indication of arousal from slipping off her lips.

His hand moved up her right thigh to the only article of clothing she had left, and slipped of her lower binding with ease. The room grew incredibly hot and stuffy, despite the pounding rain just outside, which made them both sweat. The sight of a barely-illuminated, glistening Korra was incredibly alluring to Amon, and it made every doubt fly out the window for him – it was officially the point of no return, and Korra knew it from the way he paused to look at her. She gulped and squeezed her eyes shut.

He gently caressed her from the outside, and looked for any indication of pleasure from her – nothing. He then pressed his thumb to the nub above her entrance which only made her inhale sharply. He slipped a finger inside, followed by another, and began to scissor inside of her.

Korra gripped the sheets even harder and squirmed; she couldn't deny the pleasure he was giving her, but it felt so, so wrong. She wanted it to stop feeling so good, because she didn't know how much longer she could stay silent and how much more her body could take.

He withdrew his fingers and positioned himself on top of her. Korra tossed her head back and her eyes rolled back as he entered her so agonizingly slowly, causing her only pain…the sting and the stretch was unbearable. 'How can anyone like this?! This is torture! I think I'm dying…I think I…-'

Her mind kept screaming but she absolutely refused to show a single emotion or response whatsoever, and all the while she kept furiously regretting her decision to come, to kiss him, to do…this…but the pain was quickly replaced with pleasure, but it didn't mentally make her feel better.

Amon thought she had passed out because she was just so, damn quiet, but her labored breathing proved otherwise. He put his lips against hers to console her, reassure her, anything, but she only faintly reciprocated, still making no sound.

Korra enjoyed it – more accurately, her body did, but it was mentally killing her; the more he tried to be tender, the worse it was for her. Tears were streaming down her face but again, nothing came out.

Amon picked up his pace and hooked her legs around his waist, driving her back into the wall behind her. He cupped her face and pressed his forehead and nose against hers, breathing out, "Let go."

Korra couldn't take anymore, anyway, and she released a pained breath that she's been holding in – a gurgling noise as if she was drowning for a long time and she was struggling to breathe. Her body went numb as she climaxed and finally screamed out. Amon followed soon after.

He collapsed on top of her, but pressed a quick kiss to her neck before rolling off of her. They laid beside each other panting, not saying a word, but they were far from the expected afterglow. Korra turned her back to him and pulled the sheets around her body, squeezing tight. Amon placed the tips of his fingers against her back, but she flinched away. He let her be.

Korra's silent weeping resumed; she was trying to recall the reason why she was her, why she slept with him, but not one reason she came up with was good enough. She felt horrible, and felt like she could never feel happy again.

When she was young, she's been trained to be the Avatar; no one ever let her think about relationships and such, but when puberty hit, Katara had took it upon herself to explain the facts of life to Korra – she failed to mention how emotionally and physically damaging it would be.

Amon felt horrible for different reasons; he smelled blood in the air and knew what he had done. She wasn't just the Avatar in his mind anymore, but a girl like any other – a girl he just defiled. He felt sick.

"I'm sorry," He whispered into the darkness.

Korra sniffled and turned her head back to look at him from the corner of her eye, "It's not your fault."

He didn't believe her.

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Sorry if it was too dark -or not enough, if you're into that – it's just what's logical in my mind that their first time would be like if they weren't in love or anything.

Sorry for any mistakes or weirdness; I was reluctant to proof-read the whole thing – like when you have your picture taken but don't want to see it? I-is that just me?

ALSO: I want to apologize in advance, because the next chapter won't be posted in a while, due to the fact that I'm going to a music festival next Wednesday – it's called EXIT – so, I'll basically be gone for a week and unconscious for the next. In the meantime, you can leave me more comments, cause they make me giddy : )

Thank you for reading!

p.s. Oh, about the electricity thing: I don't know what it was like then or in a city, but I live in a small town, and even a small poof of wind causes the electrici