Chapter 7: How to Disappear Completely.

"So your just going to block me out again?! After everything…" He was driving down an abandoned road, paying no attention as Allie spoke. They had taken a drive, just the two of them so they could talk. She should have known better than to think Dean would actually talk about his feelings. "I swear to God Dean-"

"You'll do what?" She stared at him, her hands resting in fists upon her thighs. "Your such a pig-headed asshole, you know that? Do all you think about is yourself? I mean, for once you were talking to me, letting me understand what goes on in the thick skull of yours and now we're back to square one!" No matter how hard they tried to have a conversation, to just talk things over, it all resulted in their screaming. She hadn't ever had a calm conversation with him without it ending in her fury forcing her to say something she didn't regret. "For a man who doesn't have long to live, you sure as hell know how to waste it." And that's when she wanted to disappear, to vanish completely from the horrible depths of the world. She had said something that haunted her dreams, or had for the last few days and she regretted it the moment the words left her mouth. How could she have thrown his deal at him like that? He was going to die and here she was, screaming at him and criticizing him when she barely had any time left with him. "I-I'm sorry. Dean, I swear I didn't-" But the car was already being pulled to a stop in an abandoned area, a gap in the trees where the car seemed to blend in. "You think I don't know that? That I don't spend every day thinking that each moment gets me closer to the end? Why do you think I put the two of you before anything else? It's not because I don't care about what happens to me, because I already know my fate. It's because I have to keep you two safe while I still can. You mean as much to me as Sam does and as I long as I can help it I'm going to make damn sure that nothing happens to either of you."

It's harder than I thought,

to be so far away.

So I thought I'd write this letter to you and explain.

For me it wasn't easy to raise the flag and leave.

But I thought that you should know how

much you mean to me.

She kept her gaze on her hands, the tears slowly falling down her cheeks as she leaned towards him, hesitant at first. Her lips were only inches from his, too afraid to close the distance and Dean wasn't moving. It was as if they were drinking in the presence of the other, neither having the will to take the final step, to be the one to admit what they had been holding back since their first night in Tombstone. She'd know him for no more than three weeks and still, she couldn't keep lying to herself. She loved him, and as cliché as it sounded, she had loved him from when she first met him. Waking up in his arms was her favorite thing and each more she awoke with the feeling of abandonment. With the chance at everything she wanted only a few inches from her, she wanted nothing more than to crash her lips into his, forgetting every problem that face them, but the haunting thought that he'd see it just as another one night stand, something for enjoyment and not for love, kept her stationary. "How do you want to spend the rest of it Dean? The time? Am I good enough? Can I be enough?" And she never got her answer, or, she did but the words were never spoken for Dean's lips were upon hers, slowly forcing her to lean back in the seat. She knew they couldn't stay in the front, the steering wheel causing too much of an obstacle. She wanted his complete attention and didn't want the distractions of car to get in the way. Quickly she pushed the seat forward, maneuvering her way around so that they were both in the back. Well, at least the backseat comes in handy. She smiled as she felt the tug on her shirt, the hand reaching for the button on her jeans and she let herself get lost in the man who had captured the only part of her heart she had left.

I wake up every night.

I check the front porch light,

making sure it's shining bright.

And I'll be there to shine the light

So you can find your way to me.

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His screams were what woke her, sending her screaming as well, Dean lying beside her with wondering eyes. The same nightmare that had continually plagued her dreams, the same on that showed each tear the hell hounds made into Dean. She didn't know what to do. No matter what she did, when she closed her eyes, there he'd be, bleeding and dead before her. "Als?" He was sitting up with her, their legs intertwined from the lack of space the backseat of the Impala provided. She shook her head, placing a smile on her face before looking back to him. "I'm fine. We should probably head back, Sam will be wondering where we are-"

"It happened again, didn't it? The dreams?" She slowly nodded, staring at the ground rather than at him. She couldn't see the guilt that would fill his eyes or the realization of what it was doing to her. She knew that if he had found out just how much the dreams effected her, how she could already feel the emptiness that would consume her once he was gone, then he'd return to keeping his distance, at least emotionally. Dean didn't shut her out, he just built the wall up around him, forcing every emotion deeper and deeper until she wasn't sure he was human at all and now, after she'd finally gotten to the bottom of everything that was Dean Winchester, she wasn't going to let him start to rebuild that barrier. "Allie.."

"Please? Let's just get back before Sam starts calling for us." He nodded, helping her get dressed and get into the front seat.

The ride back to the motel was in silence but as they turned into the parking lot Dean took her hand, smiling to her before putting the car in park, shutting it off, and going in to face Sam.

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So, I don't know why, but I like this chapter : ) IMPALA SEX! YES! And, I was kind of depressed since I found out that Supernatural doesn't have more than two seasons, if this season isn't the ending. So, leave reviews please?

--Rae.