HAPTER EIGHT

AN: sorry for the wait. My muse was absolutely gone this week. But ive got some great ideas and im finally writing again. I know you all most likely want to read so I will talk more later.

Do you know how if you keep hearing a sound over and over again, it eventually starts to fade until you can't hear it anymore?

That's how I felt about the constant monotone beep of Damon's heart monitor. It was slowly fading away, just like him. I still had my hope, but a more logical part of me was saying I need to accept it. But that continuous beep became my favorite sound. It was soothing in a way.

It told me he was still here.

Comatose. God. The only two men I have ever loved were spared from death by a coma. Times like these, I felt like my life was a Lifetime movie. He had been like this for two days. The swelling of his brain had caused the doctors to put him into a medically induced coma. Saying he would wake up when his body was ready.

"Damon? I just want to tell you something."

"Our first date. You said you loved Katherine just because you wanted to feel important- to feel loved. Well when you wake up I'm gonna show you that love. Because I love you. God it feels so good to say it. I love you so much it hurts. And if I lose you, I won't be able to live. You bring me joy in sorrow filled days. You're my rock. And if I only had one more hour to live, I would use those 3600 seconds to list of everything I love about you. I know we are going to fight. But even when we are screaming at each other I won't stop loving you. I thought I loved Elijah, but it's nothing compared to what I feel for you. I don't want to sleep at night because reality is better than my dreams. And god, I don't deserve you. But im gonna be selfish. Because you make my days better. You are the best things that has happened. To tell you the truth I never wanted to fall in love with you. But to put it simply; there's never a time or place for true love, it happens accidently. You can't deny it. You accept it and you divulge in it. And I know you were just engaged. But I'll wait for you. My dad used to say we are only guaranteed two things in life. Birth and death, but the few lucky people get love. And when they find this love you learn not to let go of it until your death. And right now I really wish I was in a lifetime movie because you would wake up as I was confessing my love to you." I sobbed. Clutching onto his hand as if it was my lifeline. I sat like that for hours. Willing him to wake up so I could tell him I love him. I sat looking at a blank wall thinking about what I would do if I lost him. But I couldn't think of anything. Because I honestly could not imagine life without Damon. Opening the door I walked out of his room, dragging my feet to the cafeteria for coffee.

I was sitting in my chair next to Damon's bed, when I heard a knock on the door. Assuming it was a doctor or a friend, I told them to come in. Though it wasn't Alaric or Dr. Fell. It was a tall, broad shouldered man, with blonde hair and green eyes. "Oh, Im sorry, are you lost?" I asked politely. He may have just gotten the wrong room number.

"No. Sorry I'm forgetting my manners, Im Stefan Salvatore." Oh shit. Okay im pretty sure my jaw hit the floor. This was Damon's brother. "Who are you?" he asked sounding a little impatient.

"Elena Gilbert, Damon's girlfriend." I replied in a meek voice, still shocked at who was standing in front of me.

"Really?" he asked, clearly not filtering his words. "I…uh…I just mean, Damon's last relationship ended badly and I didn't think he would be in another relationship so soon." He fixed himself, but obviously still dumbfounded. Because I had slept around 6 hours in the last to day, I wasn't filtering my words either.

"Oh the relationship where his fiancée cheated on him with…well, you." Im not even that sorry I said it.

"I broke up with Katherine a week after Damon left." He said. Hold on, did he have a hint of pride in his voice? Was he seriously proud that he broke up with his 'girlfriend' that also happened to be his brother's fiancée.

"Why would you break up with her? Did all of the guilt finally break you?"

"Yes. And I want my brother to be happy. He is happy with Katherine which is why once he wakes up he is coming home." Stefan replied rather smugly.

"He is home. For once in his life he is surrounded by friends who love him. He is happy. He's overjoyed!" He seriously didn't think he was going to take Damon, right? I almost lost him once, im never letting him go.

"Sweetie, I get it. You love him. But frankly, I don't care." I couldn't take this bullshit anymore. I stormed out of the room. Running down the hallway, I turned a corner. Slamming into a hard a chest. That was just the piece if hay I needed to tip the scale. I dropped to my knees, and I let the tears spill. The person who I ran into sat down next to me and held me. I put my head against the wall, and stared at the ceiling. I looked to my right to see Ric sitting next to me.

"I can't lose him Ric. Not again." I said, barely above a whisper.

"Len, he loves you. He won't leave. But sometimes he is a dumbass. Im not gonna sugar-coat this. He might hurt you. Because that's what Damon does. He thinks he's doing something for you, but it just hurts you more. And he's gonna realize he screwed up because I'll be there yelling at him for it. Elena, he may be a fuck up sometimes, but he has the biggest heart. And his heart is yours. He didn't look at Katherine the way he looks at you. Im not saying I can see the future, and I see you and Damon married, with three kids, a dog, and a white picket fence. Because you might not make it. But take a lesson from Caroline. Oh god. Well, this is the only lesson you should take from Caroline; take a risk. Let yourself fall." Fuck Ric. Why do you have to be so right?

"When did you become fucking Yoda?" I said sniffling back tears. As much as I wanted to deny it, he was right. I had let myself feel, now I need to let myself fall.

"Not Yoda. Oprah." He said chuckling. "Jenna makes me sit through it with her." I just had to laugh at that. Ric stood up, and offered me his hand. I took it, and he pulled me to my feet and into a hug. "Just let yourself feel. And do not pull that bullshit with me about how you do feel. Elena just take down your walls and open your eyes for half a second, and then maybe you'll realize how great this could be for you, for him." I sniffled and pulled out of the embrace. "Come on, let's go draw a dick on his face while he is still unconscious."

After the entire Stefan ordeal, I couldn't stay in the hospital room. So Bonnie called a mandatory girls night.

"im thinking two pints of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food, Sixteen Candles, and 4 duvets." Caroline said. Walking into the living room of my house, with all of the previously listed items spilling out of her arms.

"No. Well, yes to the blankets and icecream but no movie. I want to talk about it. Ric gave me a heart to heart and it really opened my eyes." I told them.

"Well then let's talk. Where should we start?"

"I love Damon." I blurted out without even thinking. Then the tears came. "I can't imagine life without him. I used to think I loved Eli but it is nothing compared to what I feel for Damon. God. I just don't want to lose him." I was instantly enveloped in hugs.

"We know Len, we know."

"No, you don't! YOU GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND. God, I feel like a fucking piece of me is dying. If I lose him I won't be able to survive. It would be like losing my parents all over again. I CANT HANDLE THAT. You guys act like I'm so fucking strong, like I'm unbreakable. NEWSFLASH. I'm already cracked, and if I lose ANYONE else I will fucking shatter. I have pushed my limits off of a cliff. So stop acting like you fucking understand. Bonnie, what would you do if Jer died, and you're Grams, and your mom, and your dad? Care what would you do if you lost your mom, and Klaus, and me and Bonnie? God. I can't fucking do this right now! This isn't a fucking John Hughes movie! We can't eat icecream and watch rom-coms and I will magically be cured. THERE IS NO CURE. I KNOW IM FUCKING BROKEN. IM FUCKING UNFIXABLE. IM A BROKEN TOY. A SCRATCHED RECORD. IM IMPERFECT. I KNOW. BUT YOU GUYS HAVE LEARNED TO LOVE ME DESPITE IT. I FOUND SOMEONE WHO I LOVE DESPITE NOT DESERVING HIM." By the end of my rant I was sobbing uncontrollably. I didn't mean to be so harsh, I just have everything bottled up, and it's bound to blow up.

"I'm sorry guys. It's just life sucks right now." That's one thing they do understand. My life is a living hell.

"Len, it's okay. We still love you." Bonnie puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder, and Caroline cups my cheek, nodding.

After another boring day of sitting at Damon's bedside and sobbing, I walked down the bland hallways as I heard the slapping shoes of someone running. I turned around to see Dr. Fell, the ER doctor.

"ELENA!" oh god this was it. He was up. She had a wide grin on her face, and I knew it.

"Really?" I asked her, without even waiting for her to reply I sprung into tears. Her smile was answer enough. She pulled me into a tight hug and we walked down the corridors. Stopping in front of his room, she raised her hand to gesture for me to go inside. I turned the handle and saw him sitting up in bed. His eyes snapped to mine and his mouth broke out in a grin. And then, a single tear rolled down his cheek, which caused ten to roll down mine. I ran to him and climbed on the bed into his arms.

"Damon-" I said in a broken whisper. "I thought you were gone. I thought I had lost you. You would have been the third person I loved that I lost. Damon." I was rambling on and on.

"You love me?"

"Is that honestly a question? You must have brain damage. I love you so much that I feel like I could die any day, and I would die happy. And they say love is the emotion that can break you, or heal you. It broke me once. And you healed me. I know you can't love me back. I know you still lov-"the next thing I knew his lips were on mine.

"If you would shut your self-depreciating mouth, I would like to say a few things. I love you. I fell in love with you the day you denied me of having a shot with you. Then I fell in love the day after that at Amanda's breakfast. Then the next day, and the day after that, and they day after that, etc. Every time you smile, I know everything is going to be okay. When you cry, my entire world shatters beneath me and nothing else matters; I just want to make you smile again. You give me strength, you give me courage. You give me a reason to exist in the fucked up world. You're my rock and my bestfriend. When I crashed, the last thing that flashed through my mind was a constant reel of your face. Believing I wouldn't be able to tell you I loved you was more painful than the actual crash." I was sobbing. I burrowed my head into his chest. A few more tears slipped down his face as he wrapped his arms around me a kissed the top of my head. As we laid on that uncomfortable hospital bed, basking in our love, Ric walked in. "Thank God you're awake, I couldn't listen to this one wallow for one more day," he said, pointing at me, "and Klaus was driving me up a wall, 'ello mate', 'let's go get a drink, mate', 'bloody hell, mate' , 'mate, mate.' I was probably going to ship him back to Afghanistan in a big box with no holes." Ric laughed but I could also see the relief in his eyes, he had his best friend, his brother, his drinking buddy, back.

Then, without even knocking, the door opened to reveal a man. I felt Damon's entire body go rigid.

"Hello brother." Stefan greeted, in a cool tone.

AN:I suck at speeches. But I loved writing ric's speech and when elena went off on bon and care. we all hate Stefan. I know, I know. I understand how impossibly cliché this chapter was, but with