TODAY...
ON THE GREATEST STORY EVER WRITTEN...

CUTSTUFF
HIGHSCHOOl

Everyone was studying in Ms. Study's classroom when suddenly the TV in the classroom switched to the Mega Man Cartoon. "All right, who changed the channel? I demand an answer!" Nobody spoke up, so Ms. Study got up from her desk and went to switch the TV channel. but insteaf of switching the TV channel, Gutsman popped out of the TV just to punch Ms. Study in her stupid face. "now that's what I call 3dee" laughed Thunder and everyone else laughed with him.

Guts Man laughed a stupid laugh, "I just punched the shit out of your teacher see you latesr losers." and then ehe didi a black flip into the tv and everyoen was happy except Ms. Study who was in a coma. Suddenly, Princple Cutman Mike flew through the ceiling, "Sup assholes and fuckers. We're having a Kart Tournametns today. Be there or be a dickweed." he then jumped out of the door and the class was happy. "Man i'm so excited for this I almost forgot about the death thraet I got the other day!" gumball said with the happiness of a dog eating butts. Thunder played his harmonica, "Yeah I agree totally". Everyone walked out of the classroom to get ready. Nurse TGOT was directing people where to go, "You losers go outside to the cars we bought with Mr. Fitness's lunch money. Everyone went outside except gumball who wanted to take a piss and so he walked into the bathroom to wash his dirty ass face.

Spikeboy, Watzup, and Thunder went outside. Because Thunder was the coolest he took the swaggiest car which said, "eat shit losers" on it. Watzup jumped into the pussmobile and winked at Ness who was driving a giant steak.

Meanwhile Gumball stopped taking a shit, "Oh no! I forgot I had stuff to do" he began to get off the bathroom as fast as an idiot eating salad while he was naked watching Cartoon Network. But what he didn't know is that a mysterious cloaked figure shoved a giant ice cream bar in front of the door and gumball was locked in! "My this is a fine pickle I can't open the stupid door." gumball said. suddenly, Coconut Mall's theme began to blare over the sink speaker and gumball began to scream like a total asshole

MEANWHILE...

Tengu McWangu was walking through the streets because his house got letterbombed by someone. "Man I really fucking hate that Watzup kid, oh my god! He breaks ibto my house and then fucks my mom! That's my mom! Nobody fucks my mom except for my dad!" Then some other guy on the street heard him and told him to "fuck off nobody wants to hear all about your fetishes or something". Tengu got really mad and took out a bowl of Blaze McP's Burnt Mac & Cheese (tm) and shoved it in the other guy's face, nearly melting it off. "OH M YUFCKING GOD THIS REALLY HURTS OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD" and then Tengu broke the bowl over the guy's head, knocking him out.

Even later, Tengu ran away from the police that were trying to arrest him for grand theft mac & cheese and he got away. He got away and ran off to the Lincoln Memorial, his favorite place to hang out. Of course it was a ripoff Lincoln Memorial because it was right next to CUTSTUFF HIGHSCHOOl, so it looked like a piece of shit if pieces of shit looked like Abraham Lincoln. He sat on Lincoln's lap and went to sleep. When he woke up, he saw some really fat fucker on a motor scooter with a red gun. Tengu said, "Who the fuck are you, you fat fucker?" "I'm Sonix, WSonix the NMh, and the NMH stands for NaMeHameha!"

"Wow that's a really fucking lame name" said Tengu, but then Sonix aimed his red gun at the Lincoln statue with the preocision of a pineapple. "Oh no, he's going to blast President Lincoln!" Tengu tried to tackle Sonix, but he was too far away and he fell down all the steps. Sonix shot Mr. Lincoln but he missed because he's way too fat so he tried running away on his motorscoote.r. "Oh no you don't you dumb dicksuerker!" Tengu dashed towards Sonix and his 6 mile-per-hour scooter, but Sonix used his fatness to toss a hotdog cart towards Tengu, and Tengu got struck and flipped over and laneded on his face.
Sonix laughed evilly but then he coughed evilly because he was evil and fat. "Now, the great Tengu McWangu is defeated!" He took out his cellphone and tried calling someone but his fat fingers were too thick to dial any numbers. good thing he had speeddial! "Yes, this is Sonix. Phase 2 is complete. Commence phase 3!"

Meanwhile outside, everyone was getting ready to race their hearts out. Except if they did they'd all be haertless so they'd just race. All the cars were filled up except one. The toidmobile. "Where the fuck is gumball i swear if he's late i'm gonna punch his face" Lunch Lady Daveris said. Caprice just shrugged, "I don't know why we're even racing in the first place..."

"Who even cares about Gumball let's race!" Thunder said. Whiel Gumball and him were bestest buds, he needed to prove how awesome he was. But suddenly, Thunder's bowels wrote him a very long essay on how he needed to take a piss. "Hold on! The bathroom wants me to release my urine stream into it's toilet!" and thunder drove his car through the doors of the school until he reahced the bathroom. He hopped out of hsi car and pulled on the door only to realize he couldn't open it! Thunder put a hand to hsi chin in the deepest thought he's been since he beat up that old man because he flipped him off, "...Now why would somebody bar the outside of the bathroom door...? OH NO!" Thunder then bashed his head against the door and it opened. When it did, Gumball fell out and ran away screaming something about how Coconut Mall needed to ben nukked or something. Thunder thought he was a silly fat head and just took a nice refreshing piss like a cooler filled with coca cola being spilled on your naked grandmother.

But now it was time..FOR DA CUTSTUFF RACE1!1

DA CUTSTUFF RACE1!1 began and everyone zoomed off in their karts on the school's track and field except for Gumball and Thunder, who were only just getting to the track. "Oh shit we're late" said Gumball and Thunder and they hopped in their karts. Gumball tried to start up his keys but he forgot to switch off his POWER OF LEARNING so he accidentally read a manual on how to start up a kart. "Fuck why don't I ever turn this power off" the loser said as Thunder drove way ahead of him, catching up to everyone else. Gumball stopped reading the manual and started up the Toidmobile, trailing behind Thunder.

A few miles ahead... A top hatted maniac with a really curly mustache walked onto the track. He laughed maniaacaly as he took out a giant envelope with a goomy stamp on it. "Ah, thanks my fine friend for providing this most elegant explosive." He tossed it on the ground and ducked behind a rock, waiting for the Cutstuff Racers to drive over it and probably die. He rubbed his hands together evilly as he took out his phone. "Yes, this is the supreme overlord Doctor Freeman! You are in the race, correct? Yes, jump out of your kart. I don't care if you're in first place, get out of the way! Your bomb will destroy all of the racers and hopefully that little weakling, Gumball!"

Gumball and Thunder were head to head as they passed Mr. Fitness and Lifeup. From the sideliens they could see Sam questioning what was going on. Suddenly, from in front of them they saw Caprice hop out of his car and the veicles crashed into a nearby wall. "Wow, that Caprice guy is so swell he's probably buying a pop tart for the whole schol." thunder said. Gumball slapped him with his mind "who cares racing is fun. And look at that Ness kid in front!" suddenly, thunder found a blue shell and threw it. as it was flying through the sky suddenly they saw watzup jump uot of his car and into Ness's "NO NOT NESS!" he screamed as he shieded ness. but the blue shell never came. beacuse the race track suddenlye xploded! all the cars were sent flying like tornaods on crack and all the racers lay sprawled across teh track. Ness, Spikeboy, gumbal, thunder, and watzup lay on one end while a bunch of random students lay on the other. and suddenly, a ginat net came out of the sky and took away a group of 10 students including Lucnh Lady Dvarei! "OH NO WHO WILL COOK LUNCH" spikeboy ssaid as he didn't care

"Phase 3 is complte. Beacuse gumball is a fucking idiot who didn't die we'll just kidnap some random people and kill him later! This is a fine warning of things to come loser..." Freeman said on his goomy phone as he ran away from teh school like a loser.

Dictator Birfdbot began to fly around trying to pick up damage shit while Nurse tgot ran around trying to get people not to die. Gumball and thunder looked at eachotehr. Things were sure getting worse at CUTSTUFF HIGHSCHOOl and if thigns odn't get better, tehy won't get better.

WHAT WILL AHPPEND NEX? WHO WAS KIDANPPED? WHY WOULD PEOPLE DO SHIT FOR NO REASON?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON CUSTUFSS hIGHSCHOLS