...and yeah, in the week he'd had to plan for this little riding lesson he'd never once stopped to think of how awkward it was going to be for them...
He'd decided, as with the day he'd taught Jeb all those years ago, that for the first lesson she wouldn't be using a saddle.
It was important to learn how to read the way the animal gave signs with the twitching of its muscles, to learn to move with it so neither the animal nor the new rider became uncomfortable.
But...
...when teaching a quirky little Princess how to ride bare-back in the middle of nowhere...how do you put that into words that don't sound bad?
Wyatt was trying his best though, ignoring the way innocent statements such as, "he's smart but he's not a mind reader, DG...you need to show him with your body what you want him to do..." earned an arched brow and rosy cheeks from her as she complied.
His stomach was back to forming that ulcer simply contemplating how she knew there was an alternate meaning to such words.
"Just dig in with your heel...give him a good squeeze with your legs if you want him to move faster." He called out to her without thought and rolled his eyes the instant the words had left his mouth, his jaw snapping shut and fist clenching in front of him as if desperately trying to snatch the words back from mid-air before they reached her ears.
Thankfully DG was far too involved in the task of trying to stay upright on her horse to look over at him.
She was grunting in a manner thoroughly unbecoming of a Princess at this point as Wyatt watched from atop Wrath, her hair was dangling wildly in her face despite her occasionally blowing at it to push it away from her eyes.
"He's all sweaty...and he's too big...it's tough to hold on!" She called back.
Cain squinted his eyes suspiciously, wondering if that statement had really been necessary. Right on cue Wrath let out a sound a bit too reminiscent of a laugh and tossed his head as if mocking the Tin Man on his back.
Cain's suspicious glare fell to the horse wondering whether the animal truly understood how far in over his head he was.
"Whoa, boy...whoa!" DG squealed as Seraph started to gallop and when she screamed "What about if I want him to go really slow again, Cain? I like it better when he goes slow!" he had to look up at the sky and pray for the strength.
And there weren't any reigns on that damned horse, either...he didn't have a choice...he'd have to say it...
Cain decided she was definitely doing this on purpose as (in a voice strained ever so slightly by the need to laugh) the words, "just pull back on his hair gently and soothe him with your voice" left his mouth. He shook his head, closing his eyes and trying to hold it together as he added, "good - now stroke his shoulder and let him know he got it right..."
None of these statements had ever seemed so provocative in the past.
"You gonna come with me, Cain?"
His head spun at her shouted question, only catching her intended meaning when he spotted Seraph carrying her farther away. This time it was Wyatt arching a brow as his cheeks darkened.
"Yeah..." He called back and cleared his throat in an attempt to shake the strained laughter that was forming there. "I'm coming." He added as he fought to keep his smile at bay, guiding Wrath to follow her.
DG turned and faced frontward again so that she could laugh silently to herself until he reached her. This was too freaking priceless despite her best efforts to behave herself.
But, "stroke his shoulder and let him know he got it right" o.0 ?! Come on! She was only human!
Wyatt fell in along side of her and they were each containing their own private amusement.
"Sooooo...how do you think I'm doing?" She asked innocently.
Or at least that's how she was trying to make it sound.
He cast her another suspicious sidelong glance and shifted in his saddle, desperately trying to keep any hint of a smile from his lips.
Oh yes, DG was evil, it was decided.
What was she fishing for with that question, anyway?
He could just imagine if he'd answered without thinking it through: You're a natural, Princess...you ride beautifully for a beginner...you'll need plenty of practice, of course, and devotion to our weekly lessons...but I have every confidence that by the time I'm through with you, you'll be riding like a champion.
Wicked DG. Wicked, wicked DG.
"Not bad for a first lesson." He responded as coolly as a bucket of ice-water and DG pouted privately that he hadn't taken the bait.
After a moment of silence, and without so much as a hint of emotion, he added...
"I doubt you're gonna sit right for a week, though."
DG's eyes nearly popped from her head and it was all she could do not to burst out laughing. Cain's head spun on her the instant she started to lose it.
"I knew it! You're doing that on purpose!" He laughed as he pointed at the guilt in her red face and she finally launched into a fit of giggles. "Well cut it out, would you? You're not supposed to be thinking like that, you know! And if you don't behave yourself I'm not going to teach you anything else."
She tried (really, really hard, mind you) to stop laughing at that point, managing "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I won't..." along with gasps for air between her laughter and Wyatt couldn't help but crack up watching her failed attempts to act serious.
"How did I get stuck with 'Princess Perversion' over here?" He asked the suns above them and DG nearly fell from her horse she was laughing so hard now, holding onto Seraph for dear life as she cackled.
One (obnoxiously loud) snort and honk from her was all it took to break the remaining bit of control Wyatt had over his own laughter and the horses stopped, casting one another annoyed glances regarding the jostling riders clinging to their backs.
"Oh God...Oh God...alright, alright...I'll stop..." She choked out past her laughter as she wiped tears from her eyes and tried to sit up straight again. "But you weren't helping matters, I hope you realize that!"
His jaw dropped in innocence. "Me?? I was being serious! You're the one who had your mind in the gutter!" He said as he caught his breath.
"Oh please! 'Pull his hair gently'? Just 'give him a good squeeze with your legs'? You are every bit as guilty as me, buster!" She said as he shook his head.
"What?! That's how you do it! I didn't make the rules!" He shot back, a hand on his tired stomach from the unfamiliar workout of all out laughter.
Screw sit-ups, a conversation with this little spitfire was ab exercise enough.
He held up a hand after she had worked through another round of giggles, staring at her and trying to appear serious. "Alright, that's it. I'm just going to pretend that this conversation never took place, Missy. And you? You are just an innocent, sweet-minded Princess...who just so happens to have an affinity for climbing trees and wearing pants...but has never, ever had a perverse thought cross her pure little mind. Got it?"
DG let out a 'pfftt' to that, waiving him off dismissively. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Cain. And while we're at it, I suppose I'm still a virgin, too?"
Wyatt's jaw nearly clubbed Wrath in the back of the head it dropped so fast.
He instantly closed his eyes and started muttering, "Ohhhkay I didn't hear that...I did not just hear that...PLEASE tell me I didn't just hear that..."
"Denial, party of one!" DG snorted and had to laugh at how desperately Cain was clinging to the belief that she was still some innocent little Princess...
But immediately afterward she started to feel bad.
What if she really was upsetting him and he was just being nice pretending it didn't bother him that badly?
What if he thoroughly intended for this to be their last lesson or walk or ANYTHING because she'd gone too far?
Insecurity crept in and she felt a shock of fear that she had just effectively scared away the only person who accepted her.
"You know what...you're right. I'm sorry, Cain. I'll behave myself, I promise." She said quickly, all hint of amusement gone from her voice.
The jarring difference in tone made Cain open one eye slowly, taking in the expression on her face and scowling the second he saw the worry lining her features. He could see the direction her train of thoughts had just taken as if it had been drawn out on a map for him.
"DG..." He sighed.
"I'm serious. I didn't mean it, I was just kidding." She said, now wishing she could take her words back.
Maybe she could...maybe she could just tell him she'd been lying...
"DG..." He started again, his face serious and she couldn't help the way her bottom lip stuck out a little.
She'd really done it. She'd screwed up the only thing she had to look forward to any more, upset the only person she was able to be herself around just because she was a motor-mouthed, pervy princess.
She could have toned it down at least a little. Christ, what had she been thinking? She'd probably just traumatized the man...
"Cut it out!" He said, and to her complete shock he let Wrath bump into Seraph and jostle her as if they were in bumper-cars. Her jaw dropped open and Cain started in on her. "It's fine, okay? I'm not mad, I'm not offended, you didn't scare me off - so pull that little bottom lip of yours back in and get that look off your face."
She was staring at him with wide eyes now, her lips instantly tucking back into a straight line upon the command they'd just been given.
He sighed as he continued. "I kinda figured as much, anyway...given what I've heard about the Other Side...though I can tell you for DAMNED sure that if I'd been there a 'difference in customs' wouldn't have meant shit." He said with an arched brow and DG's eyes widened again.
He'd just said 'damned' AND 'shit'! In the same sentence!
Wyatt Cain cursed!
In front of her...
TO her...
And it hadn't even been muttered under his breath or said in surprise!
Was it odd that she found that so utterly adorable?
She couldn't help but smile at his words.
It was hard not to laugh imagining what Prom night would have been like if he'd been sent with her to the Other Side instead of Hank and Emily. It was effortless to see him on the dance floor in the middle of the high school, totally ignoring every other person in the room - still rocking his fedora and duster with his hand on his gun, eyeing up her date and arching that scarred brow any time he got closer than two feet from her. The boy would have likely insisted on calling it an early night, stammering that a headache or some other malady had struck him without warning. She would have been hard pressed to so much as sneak a kiss from a guy in all that time.
The thought was oddly...comforting.
She gave him a tight-lipped smile, her blue eyes sparkling happily again and he laughed.
"Now, if you're all finished with your little mood swing I'd like to get moving." He said, his eyes telling her very clearly: 'Think about that one for a second...'
DG's brows drew together in thought...
The instant she scanned her mental calendar and realized what he was insinuating she let out an indignant squeak the likes of which Kelso from 'That 70s Show' would have been proud of and punched his arm.
Wyatt was laughing at her, rubbing the place where her angry little fist had just connected. "Hey! Don't be mad at me for being right, Princess." He teased. "So do you feel better now? Or are you gonna take a couple more cheap shots first?" He asked and DG grinned.
"I think a few more cheap shots are in order." She said and cracked up when he shook his head and bolted with Wrath.
"Then you're gonna have to work for it!" He yelled over his shoulder, forcing her to test out what she'd learned so far by following after him on Seraph.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:Alright, if I messed up something about the horseback riding I'm sorry in advance, just went with what I've heard/seen/done in the past and keep in mind, for the love of all that is holy, this is for comedy's sake ;)
Thank you. LOL
AND...
In case you couldn't hear Kelso in your mind for the "That 70s Show" reference, go to YouTube and punch in "Kelso scream", it should be the first vid in the results ;) haha