Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.

Memory

Chapter 7 – Out in the open.

Jade's POV

I suddenly felt dizzy and my leg's seemed to just give out, so I sat down.

"I was in love with Tori and I was leaving Beck."

The problem is that while I'm more and more sure I don't love Beck, I don't remember loving Tori. I have only two tiny memory fragments. But only other than a strange growing sense of desperation, I feel nothing. It's enough to drive me nuts.

Tori never got my message; she never knew I was coming to her. But again, it comes back to what did I do to her.

I tried to call Tori, to explain my text. What I was doing. Maybe that would get her to open up to me. I know next to nothing about this relationship. But much to my despair, I soon discovered that my number had been blocked by Tori's phone. She blocked me so I couldn't text or call her. I tried the diner but told she had quit a week previous. They told me she got a new job but didn't say where.

I tried lastly at her apartment, but no one answered the door. She may have been home and didn't answer. Eventually after several days of trying, I gave up in despair. She just didn't want to have anything to do with me.

I came home from Tori's, sat on the couch and waited for Beck. He came home a half an hour after I did. I looked at his face, he's handsome and kind and I know now that my feelings for him aren't real. Somewhere along the line I fell out of love with him and into love with Tori. I couldn't put things off any more.

"Beck." I said

"Yes Babe." He answered as he sat down on the couch.

He must have seen the serious look on my face and sat up. "What is it?"

With a heavy heart I pulled off my engagement ring and placed it in his hand. "I'm sorry. I can't do this."

The color seemed to drain from his face as he looked at the ring then me. "Why? Is it something I did?"

I shook my head. Maybe there was something and I couldn't remember. No point in making him feel any worse. "No Beck. I just can't go through with this. It's not fair to you."

His mouth parted slightly. "But I love you. If it's your memory, it will return. You'll remember loving me. Please. He pleaded."

I felt like a shit, but I knew I needed to do this. "It's not that. I think I felt this way before the accident. I am sorry. But I can't marry you. You deserve someone who loves you. I don't, at least not anymore. I'm sorry."

He looked devastated and there was nothing else I could do about it. Though I didn't feel love for him, I felt a terrible sense of regret. In the long run, it was the best course of action.

"I'll find a new place as soon as I can." I said quietly as I left the room. Leaving him alone, with my engagement ring and his grief for company.

I drove straight to my spot, the only spot where I felt safe. I was alone and now felt truly alone. I looked out over the bluff overlooking the ocean. I half thought of throwing myself off it. Quick and relatively painless. After a few minutes I thought back to that dream I had in the hospital. Me on that bench facing my doppleganger.

"That Bench!" I said as I sprung out off the bench and turned around.

The bench, this bench is the same one as in my dream. But I had the dream before I came here.

"Unless."

I looked at the tree and remembered that was in the dream too. I've been here before. The thought was rather unsettling. Looking at the tree I had a strange feeling it wasn't just a tree anymore. Needing to see, I got up and walked around.

Much to my shock, carved to the tree was.

"J.W. + T.V 4 ever."

It didn't take me two guesses to figure out that I carved it with a pair of scissors. I recognized my own handiwork. I could feel my head hurt again as I suddenly had a flash of memory. Me carving this into the tree.

What did it mean? Why is this place so calming for me. I've been here before and somehow I came back here, even though I didn't consciously remember it.

As I walked back around the tree to sit down and think it over, I suddenly noticed someone sitting on the bench.

My heart leapt as I realized it was Tori. She was here.

"Tori?" I said as I cautiously walked up behind her.

Tori immediately jumped up from the bench and spun around. "What are you doing here?" hissed Tori.

I put out my hands. "Please don't leave. I keep coming here. I didn't know why. Almost every single day since I got out of the hospital. I just came here. It was the only place I felt right. The only place I could think. I didn't even know about the carving until a few seconds ago. I've been here before."

Tori stood firm with a guarded look as she carefully scrutinized me. For a second her features seemed to soften and a hopeful look came to her eye, but it quickly vanished.

"You have no idea what this place means Jade." Tori said with a note of resignation.

"Why are you here?" I asked cautiously.

"I'm taking a job for 6 months on a cruise ship as part of one of their musical shows. I'll be gone until you and Beck have moved to New York. I just wanted to come her one last time before I leave."

I took a step forward. "I broke off my engagement with Beck today. I'm going to move out."

Much to my disappointment, she shook her head and looked very unmoved. "It doesn't matter. After today, you won't ever see me again. Goodbye Jade." I could hear sadness creep into her voice as she said it.

Tori turned and began to walk away. Something in me didn't want her to leave. I suddenly felt a panic course up inside of me. I still didn't remember anything, but I needed her to stay.

"I know what I was doing that night. I was…."

Tori interrupted me. "Jade, you remember nothing. Not loving me or even what you did to me. It's over, Good bye."

I tried to think, really think as my head began to hurt. Soon I felt like someone buried an axe in my skull.

I had another flash as she got near the end of the clearing.

"Ice Cream." I shouted. The first time I saw you at the hospital all I could think about was Ice cream. It has something to do with…"

I didn't finish my sentence as a memory hit me hard, along with a flood of emotions.

"I told you I loved you here. You were so surprised that you dropped it on the ground. This was our spot. We'd watch the sunset's together here."

I was happy to remember that, but that was the only memory that was present. I didn't want Tori to leave.

Tori paused and looked at me. My headache suddenly became intense, feeling like a migraine. It was so painful I sank to my knees.

"Please Tori tell me what I did." I cried in agony as a flash of memory from the party hit me. It was Tori slapping me in the face.

"You made your bed with Beck, now sleep in it." Tori yelled at me through the tears before storming out of the party.

I felt her help me off the ground and set me on the bench. Then Tori began to tell the tale in a sad voice.

"I had been asking you to leave Beck, to be with me. You kept stalling me. I began to think you were ashamed of me. Finally the party came and you accepted the proposal. I took that to mean you chose him over me. As I was about to leave the party you pulled me into a closet of all places."

No One's POV – Flashback

In a scene remeniscant of the old days at Hollywood Arts Tori and Jade found themselves face to face in a closet. Tori stood there with a incredibly hurt look on her face.

"I get it Jade. You chose him. Why do you have to pull me in here? Just let me go." Tori said as a tear came to her eye.

Jade attempted to touch Tori, but she moved back. "We can still be together."

"Even if I still am willing to be a secret, and I'm not. You're moving to New York?"

"It doesn't have to end Tori. You can visit New York and I can visit LA.

Tori backed up to the wall as a horrified look came to her face. "No….No Jade. I want to be you're girlfriend not your god dam mistress. I asked you to make your decision and you made it 20 minutes ago when you said Yes."

"No Tori, I didn't mean it like that." Jade said quickly.

Tori slapped Jade across the face as tears flooded her eyes. "You made your bed with Beck, Now sleep in it. We're done."

Tori fled the broom closet and ran out the back door of the bar in tears.

It was then Jade remembered everything. All the blocks on her memory suddenly vanished.

Jade then remembered the rest. After Tori stormed out, Jade returned to the party and spent the rest of the night being congratulated by all the well-wishers. That and Beck stuck by her like glue. She hadn't a moment alone to think.

Beck had to get up early the next morning and left before Jade awoke. It was Beck's phone call around 8:30 that woke Jade up. It was merely to tell her that he had arrived at the set alright. That was it. Only when Beck hung up and once again Jade found herself alone, did she realize that she had made the most terrible mistake in her life.

Bursting into tears she knew she had to be with Tori, she knew that she had fallen out of love with Beck a long time ago. Only now could she admit it. She had just been too afraid to end it. It was easier to just have Tori as a lover than to face the music of breaking up with Beck. When Beck popped the question she said yes in a panic.

But the next morning Jade was sobbing to know she had hurt Tori. The woman she was in love with. She quickly dressed and though it was pouring rain drove to Tori's house. She had to reach the love of her life. But she never made it.

"You chose Beck, That's why we can't be together. In any case you don't remember." Tori said sounding extremely sad.

Jade moved off the bench on to her knees in front of Tori as tears burst from her eyes. The emotions which were once absent came back with a vengeance. Love, grief, fear, loneliness, longing, desire, all Jade's emotions hit her and hit her hard.

"No, Tori. I do. I remember. I was so lonely. Beck being gone all the time on film sets. You were such a good friend then we became lovers. Our first real date was at that Thai place. I was so nervous we would be seen. About the party. You don't understand. I was scared and stupid and selfish. I love you. That morning I had the accident I was leaving Beck. I had the accident as I was sending a text to you and didn't see the truck."

Jade pulled out her phone and held it up. "Please, I beg of you Tori read it. I love you. You're my only one. I'm so sorry I was terrible. I called you a whore for something I did. Please." Jade at this point was sobbing intensely with her head on Tori's leg.

Tori picked up the text and read it. Saying how stupid and selfish she was and how she was coming to her.

"Please Tori. Please. I'm so sorry. I love you. Please." Jade pleaded tearfully. "Don't leave me. I'll face the music, please don't leave me."

"You were really leaving Beck when you had your accident?" Tori said with a hint of hope in her voice.

"Yes Tori, I was. I love you. Please don't leave me. I can't believe I ever forgot our love. Please forgive me. I'll do anything. Please."

Tori seeing Jade, her memory restored and so broken, quickly found herself unable to leave Jade.

"Promise me, we'll be together forever."

Jade suddenly looked up, her eyes filled with both grief and tears. "Yes, Yes, anything. I'll marry you today. Anything just don't leave me. I was so empty without you without our love. When my memory was gone there was this hole in me. It was here, our place, that was the only place I felt whole."

Tears suddenly sprang from Tori's eyes. Not being able to restrain herself, she pulled Jade up and into her arms, beyond thankful that she had her jade back.

"Is that you Jade? Is that really you?"

"Yes. Yes. Please. I'm sorry don't leave me." A still sobbing Jade said. "I forgot you. I forgot our love. How could I…"

Jade just seemed to completly break down under the crushing weight of all the emotions that had suddenly been thrust back upon her. Too grief stricken and guilt ridden to speak, she just cried uncontrollably.

"It's going to be ok, Baby. It's going to be ok." Tori said as she rubbed slow circles on Jade's back.

Jade just continued to cry.

"You were coming to me. We'll it took a several weeks, but you finally made it."

Jade, thought she didn't speak, just held on tighter.

"Come on Jade. You're too upset. Let's get you home." Tori said as she helped Jade up.

Jade shook her head in fear.

Realizing what Jade was thinking, Tori wiped a tear from Jade's face. "When I said home. I meant my apartment or actually now. Our home."

Tori took Jade's arm and put it over her shoulder, so she could help the totally broken Jade back to the car and home.

Home to their new life together.

I never meant this to be a very long story. Just a short little emotion packed Jori story. I will have one, possibly 2 more chapters after this to wrap this up.