A/N Chapter 7, finally! My longest and most difficult chapter to write, so far. Chapters 8 and 9 may also, prove to be troublesome and I would like to please ask for your patience if my postings become less frequent than they have been in the past.
So, everyone thought that the last chapter marked the end of the evening, but not quite. I thought you might like to get the perspective of someone else at the session. I warn you, however, he's feeling a bit disturbed over the events of the night. In fact, I'll bet he doesn't get a wink of sleep for thinking about what happened. After he tells his side, the story will revert to 3rd person narrative. I hope this doesn't confuse anyone, since it will be clearly marked.
Thank you to all those who read and reviewed. Thank you, as well, to all who have listed the story as a favorite or have requested they be alerted to updates. To the last two groups, though, I really wish I could hear from you. I have met some wonderful people through the review process and am always eager to meet more.
A special thanks to VAVikingGirl for her assistance, her support and her friendship. And a wink to BookwormBaby2580 for all the fun messages that have helped keep me interested in this endeavor. These ladies have some great stories posted. Do yourself a favor and check them out.
Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I borrowed the names and likenesses of some of her favorite people, but this story is my own.
One by one I listened to the erotic sounds of my friends coming. I was able to watch each of their faces as they found release. It was spectacular, and I felt privileged to witness the glorious scene before me.
Chapter 7
Time to Decide
Obsession EPOV
Everyone had settled back on the sofas after our last game. The guys were keeping Carlisle occupied with their questions and endless chatter. This was good.
I needed to get away for at least a moment. I had to clear my head and think about what happened tonight.
James and Emmett both gave me curious looks when, after dressing quickly, I excused myself from the room with the ruse of needing to speak with the bartender, but neither of them pursued the issue.
Walking past the bar, I stopped at the battered machine in the corner. Inserting the proper amount of money and pulling the correct lever, I reached down for the pack of 'Kools', my favorite brand of cigarettes.
Stepping into the frigid night air, I was thankful of the protection of my jacket. My hands and my head shook at the same time as I opened the pack held tightly in my grip. Damn, I hadn't smoked in over six months, but I needed one now.
Taking out the engraved 'Zippo' that I couldn't bear to part with, I flicked the lighter open and clicked the wheel to produce an almost solid blue flame. Holding my breath, I brought the fire up to the tip of the cylinder dangling from my lips and drew in a short puff of air until the cigarette was thoroughly ignited.
Holding the lighter up so I could read the inscription, my fingertips gently traced the words. "Edward...B, B F, & L" The cryptic message always caused me to smile, even if the one who gave it to me didn't. The irony was not lost on me. It was just a fact of life. It was possible to love someone deeply and still not be able to stand them at times. I dropped it, along with the pack of smokes, into my jacket pocket and took a long drag. Letting it out slowly, I relished the slight burn in my chest. As I leaned back, the cold sharp edge of the brick facade cut into my shoulder blade, and I took another puff. Looking down now, at the orange-red ember, I thought about how I had lost complete control of the evening. It was here, in this very spot that the madness overtook me.
A few hours earlier...
The minute I saw him I knew. I knew he would be the one. The one to complete our group. He was standing, bathed in the dim lamplight, looking up at the sign outside the bar. He was so beautiful. His face was flawless. His thick hair was the color of a wheat field, a Kansas wheat field in the noonday sun...no...no...that wasn't right. It just a shade lighter...it was honey...that was it. His hair was the color of Jamaican honey.
As he walked into the establishment Riley and I were also headed for, I sent a silent prayer that he wasn't here to meet someone. I wanted him in the group. I needed him in the group.
Walking through the door I spotted him alone at the bar, his back to us, talking the the bartender. He turned to look over the room, while we slipped passed him. Approaching the hallway to the backroom I caught sight of Jasper and James located on the opposite side of the bar across from the stranger. Staring at James I inclined my head just slightly in the direction of the newcomer. He gave a single nod of the head to indicate he had understood my silent message.
Unlocking the room with the key I had sent Riley back to retrieve from the bartender, since I had temporarily lost all conscious thought from the mere sight of the blond beauty, I directed Riley to start setting up for the session while I excused myself to the bathroom.
I did feel a brief twinge of guilt at using my young companion in this way, but it was only momentary and after all, he was always so willing to do my bidding. He was like a puppy following along at my heels.
OK, yes, I had taken him to my bed a few times...more than a few, actually. And I'd taken him a few other places as well, like the kitchen floor, the kitchen table, the dining room table (I disinfected them afterword, don't worry), the shower, bent over the sofa...well, you get my drift.
So yes, I guess he had some reason to believe that we were a couple. Even though, I'd never made any declarations to that effect and I had certainly never given him any promises of a long term relationship, but I had also never discouraged his attentions either.
He hinted, occasionally, about moving in with me. He even managed to leave a fair amount of clothing and personal items at my townhouse, with the excuse that it was more convenient when he slept over. So, to the outside world, I suppose we're a couple, unofficially.
Now though, now I needed a moment alone. I was on a mission and I had to act quickly. Once I had closed the door to the bathroom, I dialed Jasper's phone immediately.
Answering on the first ring, he was not at all surprised by my call. My instructions were simple. He and James were to observe the new man to make certain that he wasn't with or waiting for someone.
When and only when they were sure he was alone, James was to approach him with an invitation. I picked James because, even though I knew he could be crude at times, he was much more capable of striking up a conversation with a total stranger. Jasper was just too shy for the task.
Leaving the lavatory, I finished helping Riley set up the room, only to return to the privacy of the bathroom.
My nerves were in overdrive, my breathing uneven as my fingers itched to grab my phone and call Jasper. Fighting the urge I paced the small area, and paced, and paced. What was happening to me? I thought. I had never felt such a strong attraction to someone I'd barely seen, before. It was causing me to act irrationally. After all he was just a guy. I had no idea what he was like, or if he would be interested in joining us.
And yet, somehow, I knew he would. My instincts had never failed me before. He would complete us. He was special, loving, and good. No one that beautiful could be otherwise. I could feel it in my heart.
Yeah, are you that sure, or is it your over-riding lust for him that's clouding your judgement? My mind taunted as my nerves continued to unsettle me.
Just then my phone began to vibrate. Retrieving it from my pocket, I read the text message from James.
alone, agreed 2 session 2nite, can't commit 2 more, bringing him back now, no experience n 'awhile'.
James kept his text speak to a minimum for my sake, he knew I detested it. The agreement to attend was only a cursory one, since much would have to be explained to him before he could make a decision.
It was only when I heard the soft voices beyond the door, that I allowed myself one more long, deep, breath before returning to the room.
Outwardly paying no attention to anyone, I busied myself with removing my jacket and rolling up my sleeves, while I secretly checked out our guest. He was even more handsome and sexy up close, and I felt my pulse accelerate in response to his nearness.
I would have to be on my guard tonight. It was imperative not to let my feelings show, not to scare him off.
Finally, speaking briefly with James, I allowed myself to acknowledge the presence of the others and to look directly at the stranger. Any words I had intended voicing caught in my throat as I stared, a moment longer than I should have, into the purest crystal blue, eyes I had ever seen.
When the six slow knocks sounded from the other side of the door, I quickly looked away and grumbled something about Emmett always being the last one to arrive.
After James introduced 'Carlisle' to the group, I began explaining the club's purpose and rules as quickly and efficiently as I could. This was the first time since the inception of the club that the rules would have to be explained (even then it was more of a group discussion) and it was important for Carlisle to understand fully before he could accept or reject our proposal.
As I spoke to him, I mentally ran through all the information he would need to hear. The long explanation had one favorable outcome. I could look at the beautiful man all I wanted without any speculation as to my motives.
He was obviously nervous, I could tell, but also excited at what he was learning about us. His attention faltered only once during my long speech, but I decided that there was too much information to give him without stopping for a break. Besides, I could tell that the others were getting antsy. Emmett's eyes were practically rolling back in his head, and I expected him to let out a huge yawn at any moment.
After I was sure I had explained everything he would need to know before making his decision, I paused briefly, and posed my question.
"Now, Carlisle, do you think that you can accept the group and our rules of conduct as I have explained them to you and would you like to participate in the club's session tonight?"
He answered with a quiet "Yes", and a most definite nod of his head.
At my suggestion most everyone stood up and headed for the robes to change. James, however, led Carlisle to the table for a glass of wine. Instead of partaking in a glass myself, I opted to change quickly so that I wouldn't be tempted to ogle my blond beauty.
Whoa, Ed... your blond beauty? Since when is he yours? He's not, so get over this possessive attitude. I berated myself silently. I was being possessive, but it was hard not to and it was getting harder all the time.
After changing, I allowed myself to wander over to where Carlisle was gulpling down the last of his beverage, rather quickly. Staring at his empty glass, he turned and gaped at the others undressing. I rested my hand on his left shoulder and felt his body stiffen under my touch.
"If you prefer, Carlisle, you're welcome to use the bathroom to disrobe." I purposely kept my voice soft and low, to hopefully ease some of his nervousness. He nodded in understanding and promptly ignored my offering completely.
His actions were purposeful and almost business like as he shed his clothing. With his head slightly bent, Carlisle occasionally smiled, but otherwise ignored Emmett and Riley, who seemed to be prolonging their actions unnecessarily.
I did manage one peek without being noticed, and the site was enough to do me in entirely.
His back was to me and he was peeling off a black T-shirt that contrasted well with the gold of his blond locks. He was broad and muscled without being overdeveloped. The lean of his waist, without an ounce of fat, matched well with the roundness of his buttocks, clad only in a pair of tight black briefs. I longed to have that silken hair grasped between my fingers. I wanted to lick a trail from his neck, down to the base of his spine. I yearned to bite into the flesh of those plump, but firm ass cheeks. I ached to have those toned, muscular legs wrapped tightly around my body.
Looking away, I took my seat in the circle and mentally prepared for the rest of my speech.
After about a ten minute break, and we were all seated, I began explaining the finer details of our activities. Carlisle seemed quite lost in thought when he had first sat down, and it took me a minute or two to redirect his attention.
From then on everything went well, or as well as could be expected with Emmett in the room. Even James added his voice to teasing Jasper and momentarily creating a disruption. I don't even want to think about what happened when Emmett informed Carlisle about Eddie Jr. That was Emmett, I should have expected as much. Overall though, Carlisle seemed to grasp the information I was giving him with understanding and a sense of willingness. That is, until I mentioned the first game.
It was then, that I noticed his face cloud over with confusion. Try as I might, I failed to make myself clear to him. Finally, I realized I had left out one of the most crucial parts of why our group came together.
"I'm sorry, this is my fault", I apologized, "After a year I tend not to think about the obvious components of our relationship here. You remember I said our club was concerned with the rights of the individual? Well, I forgot to mention the commitment of the individual to the group. We are all committed to each other, to the group. To put it simply...we are the six musketeers, all for one and one for all." I smiled and finished explaining myself.
When I was done, I looked deep into those beautiful blue eyes and held my breath, waiting as Carlisle contemplated what he had just learned.
The nod of his head was almost imperceptible, almost..., but coupled with the look in his eyes, I knew that he understood and wanted us as we wanted him.
It was a relief to hear, after we had all made our position selection, that he'd had a recent physical. The comment about his pager and cellphone made me wonder about his work. Drug dealer and doctor were the first two that came to mind and I quickly dismissed the former. He was just too clean cut for that... wasn't he?
Just as I was about to suggest we begin, Jasper reminded me that we hadn't done our introductions yet. I cursed myself silently for forgetting and explained to Carlisle our tradition of introducing ourselves before each session.
James was the first to capture his attention and the others soon followed. Emmett, always the show off, made a big production of sweeping Carlisle off his feet.
Then it was only he and I.
The desire to grab him and kiss him forcefully was overwhelming, but I knew I had to resist. Such an aggressive approach would either scare him off or cause him to laugh at me as he had done Emmett. It also wouldn't do to have everyone else watch such a display from me. It would be totally out of character, I never allowed myself to behave that way and I wouldn't start now.
"Welcome Carlisle." I said as I walked to him. "My name is Edward, I am 31 years old and I am extremely happy you are here tonight." I finished, standing close.
"Thank you, Edward. My name is Carlisle, I am 30, and I am very happy to be here." He replied.
Searching his eyes, I could see that he truly was happy and the realization sent my heart soaring. I wanted him so much more in that moment, but I would control my desires. Tonight wasn't about me, it was about him. It was about making Carlisle feel accepted and at home with us.
On instinct, my hands reached for him, to cradle his face gently in my grasp. The refreshingly clean, lightly citrus fragrance filled my senses as I breathed in, memorizing the smell of him.
Our lips found each other in the lightest caress and I couldn't help smiling as Carlisle leaned into the connection, sighing into the kiss.
The desire mounting within me again, my right hand found the back of his neck while my left grabbed a handful of velour over his backside. I pulled him to me, kissing him more forcefully than I had originally intended, but his lips were so soft, and his mouth was so willing to let me have everything that I wanted.
It was only when I realized that Carlisle was about to loose his balance, that I came to my senses and eased the strong hold I had on him.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I registered Emmett's voice making some sort of a joke, but I paid no attention to him. The back of my hand stroked Carlisle's beautiful face as I repeated myself. "Welcome."
As we settled into our position for the first game I felt no pangs of extreme jealousy until I heard Jasper's cries of pleasure, and suddenly I hated every other man in the room. I hated anyone who came between us. I wanted Carlisle's mouth on me, on my cock, and mine on his. I struggled to maintain my composure, and turn my attentions elsewhere. My concentration focused on the pleasure James was giving me and on making Emmett feel as good as I could. Once my mind was where it should be, it wasn't long before I could hold back no longer and I released myself totally to James. Moments later, I brought Emmett to his own orgasm, his explosion gushing forth.
It was when we drew tiles for for the second game that my heart really began to race. I was to have the privilege and the burden of introducing Carlisle to game two. I was going to be the first one of us to fuck him. I took several slow deep breaths in hopes of calming myself. Carlisle was depending on me. He needed me to be strong and take care of him properly. He did not need some quivering mass with a hard on. And I was definitely hard. The thought of entering that warm, tight flesh was causing Eddie Jr to stand up straighter than he ever had before. He was so hard and stiff I was afraid just touching myself would cause him to shatter.
"Eight years." Carlisle quickly answered when I leaned over and started to ask him how long it had been since he'd had sex with a man. Eight years. I hadn't anticipated it had been that long. This may as well be his first time, although surely he has some recollection of what to expect. I notice his head cast downwards and I gently pull it up as he meets my gaze. "It's alright, we'll go slow, honey." I wanted to reassure him as much as possible. "Just tell me if it's too painful and I'll stop." I finished quietly, caressing his back with my hand as leaned in to kiss him gently.
Carlisle focused on preparing himself and then Riley as I whispered words of encouragement, accompanied by soft touches to his wonderful body. After pushing himself into Riley, I urged Carlisle to relax and let us do most of the work.
Massaging and stroking wherever I could reach, again I whispered words of encouragement and added how very attractive I found him.
Sliding my hands down between his buttocks I spread him to reveal the soft puckered flesh that usually remained hidden from the world. I caressed the slightly pink skin over and over, urging him once more to relax, pressing, testing him briefly.
Applying an ample amount of lubricant to my fingertips, I returned to my task of preparing him. Continuing to massage and caress Carlisle, I slipped my index finger into him, working to stretch the tight muscle, talking softly to him all the while. Sooner than I expected, I was able to add a second finger, and began moving them slowly in and out, in an approximation of what I hoped I would soon be doing with my cock.
Carlise responded well to my touch, I could tell by his breathing and subtle movement that he was enjoying what I was doing to him. I was pumping my fingers in and out quite quickly, and I knew it was time to step this activity up to the next level.
Entering him slowly, I swallowed hard at how fucking tight he still was. He flinched in pain and I ceased my advancement. "I'm sorry, honey, I know it hurts." I apologized immediately, asking if he wanted me to stop altogether. I paused trying to keep from hurting him anymore than I already had. Waiting for a signal that it was alright to proceed or a complaint that it was to too painful and I should stop (which was the very last thing I wanted to do), I continued trying to soothe and relax him.
With a shake of his head he let me know that he wanted to continue, but still I waited, allowing the discomfort time to subside.
"Is it starting to feel better? Do you think you can go on?" I asked.
"Yes, thank you, it feels much better now."
Letting out a sigh of relief, I couldn't help telling him how I felt as I rubbed him gently.
"I want to make you feel good, honey. I want you to love having me inside you, just the way I love being there. You're so fucking tight, and you feel so god-damned good. God Carlisle, I love how you feel on my cock!" I couldn't believe how I was ranting. What was it about this man that caused me to lose all sense of myself? The reaction to my ardent declaration was more positive than I expected, however, as I felt Carlisle push himslf back on me slightly and squeeze my hard shaft with his muscles.
Looking back over my shoulder, I gave a nod to Emmett, letting him know it was alright for him to enter me. He had silently stretched me while I had focused all my attentions on Carlisle. Glancing quickly at the others, I could see that everyone was ready and waiting for my signal.
"Are you ready for me, honey?" I asked, making sure it was safe to proceed.
"Oh yesss!" He whimpered his reply.
Addressing the others as I had so many times before I directed them at a slow pace. Never quite losing connection with each other, we moved back and forth, in and out, on and off our respective partners. I intentionally kept our movements slow, allowing Carlisle to become accustomed to the experience.
The feel of him as I moved in and out was indescribable. We had picked up the pace slightly, but to me it was still painfully slow. I wanted so badly to speed up and allow my cock the sensation of pounding away at Carlisle's wonderfully tight ass. I didn't, but I wanted to. We continued to move faster, as I could tell everyone, including Carlise, wanted it and soon our bodies were slamming together eliciting moans, and shouted explitives from all of us.
Emmett groaned loudly as I slammed back onto him over and over. I knew he was as close to as I was...as close as I hoped Carlisle was.
Jasper, cried out loudly, "Shit, I'm gonna cum! ", as Riley continued to pump in and out of his ass.
"Ooh yes, meee tooo!" Riley answered.
"You cum too, honey. Cum for me love. I want to feel you cum. I want to feel you cum on me, Carlisle!" I begged, continuing to thrust in and out of his delectably tight hole. I gloried in the way he and Emmett were making me feel. I was so torn between wanting to prolong this experience indefinitely and rushing toward the spectacular orgasm that I could feel building deep within me.
One by one we all experienced our release, signaled by our cries of ecstasy.
Even after my intense explosion inside Carlisle, I kept moving, refusing to leave the warm interior of his body. Eventually and very reluctantly, I was forced to remove myself from the haven he provided.
After depositing my condom in the waste bin and reaching for towels for Carlisle and myself, we gathered in the center of the mat, as was our custom after game two. We always felt especially close at this part of the evening and liked to express our feelings to one another as we slowly came back to earth. Unfortunately, the spell was broken a little prematurely when Emmett suddenly announced his urgent bathroom needs. Definitely too much information.
The rest of the evening went by in a blur. There was Emmett's declaration of love and proposal of marriage after he had experienced what I can only guess was the ultimate blow job from Carlise. But, I didn't feel nearly as jealous this time. After all, I had been with him myself in the most intimate way, and to be honest, it had been difficult to think about much since.
Even when we were jerking off, I couldn't keep my mind from imaging how it would feel to have Carlisle's hands on me. Caressing me, stroking me, squeezing my hard dick, coaching me to cum for him. Watching and listening to him, pleasuring himself, only a few feet away, drove me quickly to the edge causing a low moan to escape from deep within me. When I heard this wonderful beauty cry out his release, I quickly and happily followed him, finding my own blissful end.
Now, in the self-enforced seclusion outside, shivering from the cold that had sneaked it's way past my coat and was currently crawling up my spine, I threw down the wasted butt of cigarette number two.
Once inside, I stopped at the bathroom off the bar before heading back to the others. I washed my face and hands thoroughly after removing my jacket and folding it inside out to decrease the tobacco odor. Unable to brush my teeth, I took three squirts from my pocket Listerine pump and followed up with two peppermint Certs. I shrugged at my reflection in the mirror, it would have to do.
Returning to the room, I found everyone sitting down as I had left them, except that now they were all back in their normal clothing. The conversation seemed low and easy as I packed the remaining articles in the black duffel, that is, until Carlisle's crisp voice stunned me with a question I hadn't anticipated.
"Hey Edward, what's my prize for winning the game?"
The room was instantly silent. I had heard the humor in his voice and guessed that this inquiry was as much for the others as it was for me.
I cursed myself for not preparing for this. For not realizing that someone would expect a reward. Rummaging through the supplies, I heard myself mumble something about condoms and was immediately rebuffed by Emmett's comment that they were not a suitable prize. Then shy , sweet, quiet Jasper stunned me once again.
"You could kiss him."
All of a sudden, the room was filled with voices as everyone agreed with Jasper, that I should indeed kiss him. Everyone that is, except Carlisle. He alone was silent. Finally, after waiting for what seemed ages, he spoke.
"I guess a kiss would be okay."
As the others chanted, encouraging the kiss, I searched his face, looking to see if this was what he really wanted. He answered my silent question with a wide smile and nod of his head, which caused me to smile in return.
I approached him slowly as he stood apart from the group.
"Well as captain, I award you, Carlisle, official winner of the "Jackrabbit Jerk Off, one kiss."
The thought of kissing him again was intoxicating, and I wanted to make it special for him. Holding his face in my hands as I had before, I leaned my cheek against his for a moment, relishing the nearness of him once more. Seductively, I caressed his nose with my own and bent down to capture his mouth with my parted lips, but this time I found it open and eagerly awaiting me. The dance our tongues quickly engaged in was one of the most erotic sensations I had ever known and I wanted it to last forever. However, I couldn't resist drawing his bottom lip between my teeth to nibble at the succulent morsel. Claiming him again with my hungry mouth, I thrust my insatiable tongue in to devour him completely.
I could feel him holding tightly on to me to keep from falling down and I reluctantly released his lips, but not before a leaving him with few nips and gentle pecks as I stroked his cheeks with my thumbs.
When the kiss was officially ended, I heard Emmett shout. "Whoa, Edward, that was hot!
"Well...I wanted it to be prize worthy." Smiling as I turned, I thought...
Now there is only one thing left, to hear his answer to the question I knew I would be asking of him from the very first moment he appeared to me.
Acceptance and Offers, Narrative
The evening was over. Reluctantly the men began leaving, to return to their lives outside the club. Edward took this opportunity to address Carlisle in private.
"Carlisle, may I speak with you a moment before you leave?"
"Certainly, Edward."
"First I would like to thank you for taking part in the activities tonight, I know I speak for everyone when I say that we like you very much. I'm sure that the others have already invited you to join us, but I would like to do it formally now. Would you please consider joining our club, Carlisle?"
"Thank you, Edward. I am very grateful for the invitation and yes, I would very much like to join. As I mentioned to James, when we were at the bar, I have some personal issues that I need to address, but I have definitely made up my mind about belonging to the club."
"Good, welcome", Edward reached out his hand to shake Carlisle's, which seemed very ironic to the newcomer after the evenings activities, but Carlisle recognized Edward's need for formality and propriety. So, he reciprocated the offered hand and shook it firmly. Carlisle couldn't help thinking that he would like to continue the contact with this beautiful man, but he knew by Edward's tone and demeanor that it was not a possibility.
With that Edward finished packing up the supplies and walked out the door, encouraging Carlisle to go first. Edward turned and locked up the room where Carlisle's life had changed so drastically. Back in the bar, they were met by Riley and Emmett. The young blond angel began to help Edward with some of his burden as the evening's captain stared quizzically at the two remaining men. Edward and Riley said their goodbye's and exited quickly.
Carlisle found himself walking out of the bar alone with Emmett who seemed to want to talk about something.
"So, C, like Eddie said, I'm gonna be captain for Jazz's birthday party. I was wonderin' if you'd help me with the planin'?"
"Sure Em, do you have any ideas?"
"Well, I kinda wanted a great big box of candy, ya know heart shaped, like for Valentine's Day. I just don't know how I'm gonna' get it in the room without him seein' it."
Carlisle thought quietly for a moment. "What if we assembled it there at the meeting? We could take pliable cardboard to make the sides and fasten it together in the shape of a heart. The mat is already red, if you didn't bother with a lid we wouldn't have so much to carry in and hide from anyone. We could fill the shape with candy and that would look like a box, wouldn't it?"
Emmett grinned, "Could we make it big enough for Jasper to lay down in, like he was part of the candy?"
"We could even get a big red bow to go across the box." Carlisle added.
Emmett eyes lit up at the suggestion and he asked enthusiastically.
"What if we all put on bright red lipstick and we each gave him a birthday kiss, it would be like we were tastin' the candy?"
"Oh Em, I sure hope you're not captain when it's my birthday!" They both laughed at the thought of his evil plan.
"C, whadya doin' tomorrow?"
Carlisle was caught off guard by Emmett's inquiry. Esme wouldn't be home until Thursday, that left him tomorrow to do with as he pleased. He took a quick breath before turning his attention back to his new friend.
"I'm free after work, around five thirty, what did you have in mind?"
"I thought we could shop for the stuff for the party, I wanna surprise everyone, they always joke that I wait 'til the last minute to plan anything."
"Which is usually true, isn't it Em?" Carlisle grinned.
"Well, yeah, I guess." He smiled back sheepishly. "But, with your help this time, their gonna hafta eat their words, especially Eddie!
There was that reference to the conflict between him and Edward again. Carlisle decided to definitely ask Emmett about their relationship tomorrow.
"How 'bout we meet here 'round six", Emmett offered.
"Sounds good."
"Well, I guess I'll see ya tomorrow then, OK?" Carlisle smiled and waved goodbye.
"Yep, tomorrow, six o'clock. Goodnight Emmett."
Carlisle couldn't help the grin that was very prominent on his face as he walked back down the alleyway that he had traveled a few hours earlier. He could feel the lightness in his step as he made his way to his car and laughed at his private joke.
Four and a half hours of being gay and I'm already light in the loafers.
"Being gay" It seemed so different when he said it out loud.
Back in college he just referred to himself as 'curious' or 'open to new experiences'. It never really occurred to him then, that he was 'gay' even though he and his roommate had spent the last six months of their senior year dating exclusively.
And, when Garrett had gone back to South Africa after college, Carlisle assumed that his life would go back to what it was before. Yes he had found other men attractive, but he had never acted on those feelings before Garrett and he didn't really see why he would again.
Looking back at how naive he was, at how much he had fought his true feelings, Carlisle felt like he had been given a great gift tonight. Not only had he faced his personal truth of being homosexual, but he had found acceptance with a group of men who wanted him just as he was.
Okay, so maybe it was only one night a week and maybe it wasn't an exclusive relationship with one particular guy that he could call his own, but hey, he'd only been gay a few hours, he reasoned, you had to start someplace, didn't you?
Carlisle made it home, showered and crawled into bed, giddy with anticipation of what next week would be like. Of course, he would see Emmett tomorrow, well actually, later today. Two thirty in the morning, according to his bedside alarm clock, and he wasn't even remotely sleepy.
It didn't take long to come to the decision to do something he hadn't done in over two years. Yep it was definitely time to call in for a day off. Carlisle needed the rest of the day to consider this change in his life, the transformation he'd been through.
He had to think about what he would say to Esme. He wouldn't cheat on her, well, no more than he had already. But, he wouldn't go back and pretend tonight hadn't happened. He would tell her everything. OK...not everything, but he wouldn't lie to her anymore. This was the one thing he had kept from her, the one lie that had eaten away at him and their marriage.
She deserved better than that. She deserved much better, better than him. She would be hurt terribly and the thought ripped through his insides like a dull knife, leaving jagged edges of flesh that could never be correctly repaired.
A/N For those people who know lighters, no Zippo's don't produce a blue flame. Calibri lighters do, but to me, Edward is more a Zippo kind of guy. I promise the explanation of the Zippo will be in the next chapter or two.
The reference to Jamaican honey was complete fiction. To my knowledge, it doesn't exist. I made it up, so don't write to me asking where you can purchase some. The significance of it will, again, be revealed in a later chapter.
Now, please tell me what you think of the story by hitting the review button. I read them all. They give me a joy I can hardly express. Thanks, NC